Truth: You do not need to be born into a wealthy family to smash poon. You can be a tattoo artist, skateboarder, guitar player, "I don't really know what he does for a living" and probably smash more than I do.

You can basically say whatever you want to say, be whoever you want to be.

That said, if you're going to run "playboy game", you have to speak the language. Some women want to bang a 6'4 biker who says "fuck" a lot. If you can run that game, more power to you. God bless. Just keep smashing away.

Truthfully, I come from a pretty blue collar family. We don't use a lot of big words or phrases. We just kind of talk.

However, that is not the way of aristocrats.

If your goal is to appear very upper class, here are some of my favorite phrases...

"Pardon my candor..."
"Would it break your heart if... ?"
"...that's disappointing."
"Awful."
"Appropriate."
"Pedestrian."
"Hmmmm..."
"May I please..."
"Quite..."
"We'd be very pleased if you could..."
"I beg your pardon..."
"I'm a bit upset about..."
"I'm very sorry to hear..."
"My condolences..."
"I'd be so pleased if..."
"I'd appreciate it if you..."
"That's not very feminine..."
"I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight..."
"Good."
"Not good."

(then you can use tons of non-verbal queues). Eye rolls. Downturned eyebrows.

Tony Robbins writes a lot about this stuff. Talking like this is sort of annoying but it's definitely effective.

It's very basic language that is reserved. In my head, I'm like "I want butter. Get it for me. I'm trying to get this date over with and get my dick sucked and stop buying her drinks. I'm already $45 in the hole. Help me out, bro."

However, I've found that use of genteel language is effective for lays. Use very reserved language that expresses your thoughts, without going over the top. I never use this:

"you fucking pissed me off tonight"
"your behavior was fucked up"
"fuck you, stop fucking with me"

I like using very, very gentile language. "i didn't appreciate what you did tonight. seemed inappropriate. let's discuss when i'm not busy"

Refer to women (all women, bartenders, servers, etc.) as "my love" "darling" "beautiful" or "pretty lady". Come off like a totally entitled asshole. They love it. Both your date and the people at your table.

I virtually refer to all women as "my love" or "pretty lady." Random "pet" names:

"Babe"
"Darling"
"Cutie"
"Girl"
"Woman"
"My love"
"Ladyface"
"Pretty girl"
"Gorgeous"

Lately, "my love" is what I've been using. I just like it.

You do not need to be rich or have good manners to run game. A lot of the best players I know are bartenders who dropped out of high school. (often smart dudes, too).

However, if you're running game based on social status, act like you're better than everyone else. Genteel language is effective.

This does not involve bragging about the awesome steakhouse you went to last night, or how you paid $500 for your shoes. It's about being a bit quietly arrogant about it.

Personally, I like to use a lot of aristocratic language, but in a way it feels natural.

"Oh, you went to [Steakhouse Chain] last night?"
"Yeah! It was so good! We had blah blah blah"
"Hmmm..."
"You don't like [Steakhouse Chain]?!"
"It's okay, but in my opinion, it's a bit pedestrian. I prefer [Steakhouse Non-Chain]. We'll go there next week, babe. Let's order pizza."

Again, match your game to your style and personality. I like to run "playboy" game, which is making her feel like she's with a guy who was born into a family of aristocrats.

Finally, a bit of pointers...

- Never apologize
- Never acknowledge her side of the argument
- Never get emotional

Hopefully this is helpful.

"Rad!" is part of my lexicon.

For all such things, look at:

https://www.debretts.com/

Sort of related. The other day while deeply immersed in a Dr Jordan B Peterson video I was interrupted by a phone call. I found myself talking like Dr Jordan B Peterson. Not with the Kermit the Frog tone, but the same style of vocal rhythm and phrases etc.

I think it would be very easy to retrain oneself (see what I did there).

This is some great stuff - especially for every older guy past 35.

Growing up I often felt ashamed of my middle class roots, attending the local state school. As I matured I learned to embrace them and the associated mannerisms and vocabulary for the doors that they open for you.

"Prolétariat"
Don't say it, rather let it slip out of your mouth. With a little smirk and hawkish disdain

My experience as an upper middle class Englishman is somewhat different.

Most of the phrases you are suggesting Hank are not phrases that any actual aristocrat would use - in fact, some are antithetical. For example, use of 'pardon' is a classic tell that someone is not from 'refined' circles. Generally French affectations belong to the lower classes. 'Pardon', 'Toilet', words like these are never said in my circles, and are indeed the mark of the beast. 'Toilet' will make any 'aristocrat' or gentleman wince if said by any guest of his. The same is true of 'pardon' - ironically any English aristocrat would say 'what?'. Overly genteel affectations are generally eschewed in these circles.

Contrary to the caricatures and misconceptions of the lower classes, artificial refinement is abhorred, and all of the seemingly daft mannerisms and habits of the upper classes are typically firmly grounded in (generally military) practicality, from dress, to manners, to past times. Unfortunately, you can't really 'fake' being from this kind of background - indeed it is said that 'it takes 3 generations to make a gentleman'. An example of this comfort and familiarity might be that instead of saying 'my condolences', which I've never heard anyone in my circles use, you're much more likely to get 'that's a real bugger, old chap'. It's cruder, less stiff, less affected, mildly humourous, and much more in tune with life.

I also don't know any gentleman or aristocrat who would dream of asking 'what the poor people are doing', other than smarmy young upstarts in their early 20s who've yet to reach maturity. Aristocrats may frequent their clubs in Mayfair, but they also have symbiotic relationship with their game keepers, and river keepers, and all the many people who don't share their background for whom they are in some sense responsible. 'Noblesse oblige' is still very much an attitude that pervades upper class British society, whether or not the lower classes recognise it or appreciate it when they come into contact with it. Looking down on the lower classes is very much a middle class pursuit. This is because they have typically only just escaped that station in life themselves; they are not entirely comfortable in their new circles, and they dislike the lower class for the ever present reminder they present of their not too distant roots.

The attitude of the gentleman and natural aristocrat is one of benevolence.

Quote: (01-20-2018 07:23 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

My experience as an upper middle class Englishman is somewhat different.

Most of the phrases you are suggesting Hank are not phrases that any actual aristocrat would use - in fact, some are antithetical. For example, use of 'pardon' is a classic tell that someone is not from 'refined' circles. Generally French affectations belong to the lower classes. 'Pardon', 'Toilet', words like these are never said in my circles, and are indeed the mark of the beast. 'Toilet' will make any 'aristocrat' or gentleman wince if said by any guest of his. The same is true of 'pardon' - ironically any English aristocrat would say 'what?'. Overly genteel affectations are generally eschewed in these circles.

Contrary to the caricatures and misconceptions of the lower classes, artificial refinement is abhorred, and all of the seemingly daft mannerisms and habits of the upper classes are typically firmly grounded in (generally military) practicality, from dress, to manners, to past times. Unfortunately, you can't really 'fake' being from this kind of background - indeed it is said that 'it takes 3 generations to make a gentleman'. An example of this comfort and familiarity might be that instead of saying 'my condolences', which I've never heard anyone in my circles use, you're much more likely to get 'that's a real bugger, old chap'. It's cruder, less stiff, less affected, mildly humourous, and much more in tune with life.

I also don't know any gentleman or aristocrat who would dream of asking 'what the poor people are doing', other than smarmy young upstarts in their early 20s who've yet to reach maturity. Aristocrats may frequent their clubs in Mayfair, but they also have symbiotic relationship with their game keepers, and river keepers, and all the many people who don't share their background for whom they are in some sense responsible. 'Noblesse oblige' is still very much an attitude that pervades upper class British society, whether or not the lower classes recognise it or appreciate it when they come into contact with it. Looking down on the lower classes is very much a middle class pursuit. This is because they have typically only just escaped that station in life themselves; they are not entirely comfortable in their new circles, and they dislike the lower class for the ever present reminder they present of their not too distant roots.

The attitude of the gentleman and natural aristocrat is one of benevolence.

I think that Hank's post was not meant to assimilate seamlessly into true "Aristocracy".

It's just words applied when dealing with women - and here more US centric.

Those two cracked me up:

Quote:Quote:

"I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight..."
"Pedestrian."

The context especially is funny as hell in the usual non-formal environment that we have in our times.

Of course some or many of those words can be said with a smirk and a twinkle in the eye.

I understand what H1N1 is saying about the genuine British upper class (who will generally refer to themselves modestly as "upper middle" as he does). This is a very specific British social stratum. I don't think many American girls would be impressed by the social tells of the actual land-owning English gentry, or even recognise them.
I am curious though H1N1, if you are an actual member of that class, does it get typical British girls chasing you? Or just other members of the same class?

[please excuse the inadvertent accidental double post, delete]

This thread reminds me of one of my first "real jobs". Out of habit from writing reports at an earlier job, I'd use "per".

"Do not delete the backups, per HankMoody."

All the trashiest women in the sales department were parroting it within a month. It turned into a running gag in my department that I could start using random words and they'd start mindlessly repeating them trying to sound smarter.

This technique does work, but requires frame. Shit tests will veer toward trying to make you stoop to their level.

Quote: (01-20-2018 07:23 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

My experience as an upper middle class Englishman is somewhat different.

Most of the phrases you are suggesting Hank are not phrases that any actual aristocrat would use - in fact, some are antithetical. For example, use of 'pardon' is a classic tell that someone is not from 'refined' circles. Generally French affectations belong to the lower classes. 'Pardon', 'Toilet', words like these are never said in my circles, and are indeed the mark of the beast. 'Toilet' will make any 'aristocrat' or gentleman wince if said by any guest of his. The same is true of 'pardon' - ironically any English aristocrat would say 'what?'. Overly genteel affectations are generally eschewed in these circles.

Contrary to the caricatures and misconceptions of the lower classes, artificial refinement is abhorred, and all of the seemingly daft mannerisms and habits of the upper classes are typically firmly grounded in (generally military) practicality, from dress, to manners, to past times. Unfortunately, you can't really 'fake' being from this kind of background - indeed it is said that 'it takes 3 generations to make a gentleman'. An example of this comfort and familiarity might be that instead of saying 'my condolences', which I've never heard anyone in my circles use, you're much more likely to get 'that's a real bugger, old chap'. It's cruder, less stiff, less affected, mildly humourous, and much more in tune with life.

I also don't know any gentleman or aristocrat who would dream of asking 'what the poor people are doing', other than smarmy young upstarts in their early 20s who've yet to reach maturity. Aristocrats may frequent their clubs in Mayfair, but they also have symbiotic relationship with their game keepers, and river keepers, and all the many people who don't share their background for whom they are in some sense responsible. 'Noblesse oblige' is still very much an attitude that pervades upper class British society, whether or not the lower classes recognise it or appreciate it when they come into contact with it. Looking down on the lower classes is very much a middle class pursuit. This is because they have typically only just escaped that station in life themselves; they are not entirely comfortable in their new circles, and they dislike the lower class for the ever present reminder they present of their not too distant roots.

The attitude of the gentleman and natural aristocrat is one of benevolence.

First off, good post and I enjoyed reading it.

I probably titled this thread incorrectly.

The goal isn't to actually be an English Lord or true gentlemen, it's to give her the impression that you're better then her without doing stuff like bragging about the cost of your shoes.

Even though it's not true, I want her to have the impression that I grew up with a wealthy and dignified family. In reality, I dropped out of high school, joined the military, started out at community college, and barely made it into law school. But around women, I conduct myself like I went to private school all my life and dined with my family at the country club every weekend. They feel like they're with a spoiled rich kid just enjoying the playboy lifestyle. Perhaps we'll have a drink at 10:00am and fly to Mexico next week, because life is fun and easy. "Oh, and babe, pour me a scotch."

Professionally, that's not good way to conduct yourself. If you're a male, you can tell that I'm a guy who was raised lower middle class but has a higher education. I'm more likely to talk about hockey, football, or MMA than anything else. However, I have a background in philosophy, economics, and theology -- topics which are usually too deep to engage women in.

As a lawyer, you quickly learn that effective communication is basically boiling down big concepts into small but powerful words. You also have to be able to relate to normal people, most of whom were raised middle class, went to a state school, and now make a ton of money because they're well adjusted human beings.

However, with women, I've found that putting on an air of being a rich, spoiled playboy who is a bit arrogant works wonders.

I think you'd be surprised at how much is conveyed subconsciously by this sort of thing. I am reasonably well travelled, and many of the girls I've been with from different cultures and backgrounds have been very aware of, and charmed by, the social graces that are redolent of my background. Men too pick up on it very quickly, as in many respects it is a kind of ingrained status. There is a confidence and comfort/relaxation that comes with my kind of upbringing that tends to exude from a person. I can tell within the first few seconds of meeting someone whether they come from the same background as me, without needing to know any details about them at all.

As far as English girls are concerned, it is impossible to separate my social class from other traits that make me up as an individual. The stars have somewhat aligned for me with my height, looks, abilities and education, as well as my background. I have recently taken a bar job, where it's too noisy really to hear my accent, and I get an awful lot of attention and come ons from girls. I have worked two shifts and so far 11 girls have written their numbers on napkins, a bunch more have said nice things, and two of the barmaids are intimating that they'd like to fuck me. I have hardly said a word to any of these girls because it's simply too noisy and too busy to talk much. It's been quite eye opening for me as I've actually lived a fairly hermetic existence since leaving an all boys boarding school. If anything though, I would say my background is something to be overcome with these girls. It is an intimidation factor, and a lot of game doesn't really work for me because I just come across conceited or too intimidating. I have far more success with being funny, charming and self deprecating, and doing what I can to play down the social divide. Once the girl is comfortable, her imagination really does the rest. Essentially my background is an advantage and a girl will amplify it in her own mind positively, so long as I don't make an issue of it, or do anything that makes her overly aware of a divide, real or perceived. For me, being dismissive in anything other than a funny and playful way is absolute social kryptonite and I get very little leeway if someone even thinks I might have been so.

Quote: (01-20-2018 09:47 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

You also have to be able to relate to normal people, most of whom were raised middle class, went to a state school, and now make a ton of money because they're well adjusted human beings.

Quote:Quote:

It is an intimidation factor, and a lot of game doesn't really work for me because I just come across conceited or too intimidating. I have far more success with being funny, charming and self deprecating, and doing what I can to play down the social divide. Once the girl is comfortable, her imagination really does the rest. Essentially my background is an advantage and a girl will amplify it in her own mind positively, so long as I don't make an issue of it, or do anything that makes her overly aware of a divide, real or perceived. For me, being dismissive in anything other than a funny and playful way is absolute social kryptonite and I get very little leeway if someone even thinks I might have been so.

Subtle "my life is better than yours" messaging pairs well with going out of your way to use it to elevate the people around you. There's a huge difference between someone seeing you wearing a nice pair of shoes to eat a steak dinner and walking away feeling bitter about their sweatpants and macaroni, versus having them sit down for a drink and asking them what they did over the holidays and letting them gain face.

Yeah, maybe they spent it at a tourist trap that you wouldn't waste a minute on, but it's as simple as offering them a prompt to brag a little. Have any pictures? Nice to get away from the snow. Good memories with the kids. Very cool, man. That's what it's all about. Is this Gulf Coast or Atlantic Coast?

What I'm getting at is that leaving people with the sense that you know something that they don't know and have some status doesn't mean they have to walk away feeling bad about themselves. If anything, it gives you a source of legitimacy to play up whatever they do have to feel good about. People remember where warm feelings of inclusion and validation came from. Big payoff for others at little cost to yourself. Even Xenophon notes this as one of the great qualities that drew everyone to Cyrus in the Anabasis, to the point of backing his coup against the Persian king.

H1N1 is completely incorrect.

I lived in the UK 3 years, and no one could tell me from a baronet after a week.

Just remember which side of the road to drive on and pronounce "Cholmondeley" as "Chumley" and you're good to go.

Quote:Quote:

The attitude of the gentleman and natural aristocrat is one of benevolence.

Quotable.

Brilliant analysis. Thank you.

Quote: (01-20-2018 09:56 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

I think you'd be surprised at how much is conveyed subconsciously by this sort of thing. I am reasonably well travelled, and many of the girls I've been with from different cultures and backgrounds have been very aware of, and charmed by, the social graces that are redolent of my background. Men too pick up on it very quickly, as in many respects it is a kind of ingrained status. There is a confidence and comfort/relaxation that comes with my kind of upbringing that tends to exude from a person. I can tell within the first few seconds of meeting someone whether they come from the same background as me, without needing to know any details about them at all.

As far as English girls are concerned, it is impossible to separate my social class from other traits that make me up as an individual. The stars have somewhat aligned for me with my height, looks, abilities and education, as well as my background. I have recently taken a bar job, where it's too noisy really to hear my accent, and I get an awful lot of attention and come ons from girls. I have worked two shifts and so far 11 girls have written their numbers on napkins, a bunch more have said nice things, and two of the barmaids are intimating that they'd like to fuck me. I have hardly said a word to any of these girls because it's simply too noisy and too busy to talk much. It's been quite eye opening for me as I've actually lived a fairly hermetic existence since leaving an all boys boarding school. If anything though, I would say my background is something to be overcome with these girls. It is an intimidation factor, and a lot of game doesn't really work for me because I just come across conceited or too intimidating. I have far more success with being funny, charming and self deprecating, and doing what I can to play down the social divide. Once the girl is comfortable, her imagination really does the rest. Essentially my background is an advantage and a girl will amplify it in her own mind positively, so long as I don't make an issue of it, or do anything that makes her overly aware of a divide, real or perceived. For me, being dismissive in anything other than a funny and playful way is absolute social kryptonite and I get very little leeway if someone even thinks I might have been so.

Honestly I think that there is more going for you than you think.

I met quite a few super-wealthy born German, Austrian, Danish, Swiss, Israeli and Polish guys - some were even sons of billionaires, some were from families born into real money for hundreds of years.

At times there was something curiously self-confident about certain guys, but I met plenty of introverted shy ones, utterly nerdy ones, brash overweight guys on coke who struck out with almost any girl they tried to get to.

And don't let me get into the Danish and Scandinavian guys - some of them were utterly "pedestrian" - they even deliberately appeared lower in class, because there is an enormous equalist pressure there on society. Essentially they tried extra hard to fit in with the pedestrians.

I think there is a greater class divide in UK - this class thinking permeates the society more than most in Europe or the US.

I will say this however - what is saw as most effective was indeed a slightly arrogant relaxed behavior - those guys were the most effective in terms of Game. Of course they had the specific haircut, expensive clothing, but you knew quickly from the way they acted that they had money and were used to get their way. The women pick up on that as well.

Alas - this does not mean that all of them are that way - plenty of guys don't get one telephone number handed to them in their entire life - I even went to school with one of those guys.

In Quebec/France it's quite easy to pick-up who's from middle-class/lower class/upper classes. For me it's not about the choice of words but about the regional accent (the more neutral in French the better) and the knowledge of English (bilingualists usually belong to the upper class, as before, english Montrealers were the upper-class society in QUebec while Quebecers were farmers).

Lower classes in Quebec: Basically anyone with an awful accent in Quebecois or can barely speak french. Recent immigrants or older imigrants who never quite adapted or stick more with english or their own language in their own community, speak normally a kind of jersey shore type of american english (italians, greeks).
Lower-to-middle classes: Can vary but it's quite easy to pick-up regional nasal accents and tell they are people of lower class. Swear a lot. Might be rich from Entrepreneurship, medecine or engineering job but will not impress with their actual knowledge of the world, of politics. Odd food choices, shitty vacation spots..generally poor style or clothing choice. Do not speak much english/ or have a very shitty retarded english accent.

Middle-classes: Lot of people from the suburbs around Montreal and Quebec city, somewhat a shitty to neutral Quebec accent. Tend to be mostly upper-class if they have chalets but lack the property in districts associated with upper-classes. Generally well-educated with a university degree but maybe lacking the general knowledge. Do not care much about clothing but generally don't look bad. Decent level of english, but not perfect (sometimes with accent, sometimes not). May be part of golf clubs just to fit in, or simply for the interest of the sport.

Upper-classes: Very specific to certain areas of Montreal (Ville-Mont-Royal for French, Outremont, Plateau for those who stayed there more than a 1 generation or Wesmount for anglophones)... generally not very accepting of people outside their social circle. Anglophones are a bit more friendly. Francophones speak a kind of neutral Radio-Canada french with almost no accent. Generally have chalets around lakes and mountains around (for example, in the Laurentides). Exudes general knowledge and have refined food choices. Jobs associated with upper-classes are high level lawyers, banking, medecine, pharmacy. Dressing style is very refined, more european or englishman from Britain. Excellent level of english usually for Francophones (not always though). General interesting in golf, part of a golf or yacht club.

Generally since it's an equalitarean society it is easier to fit in with the middle-class, so many upper-class people generally tone their snobiness/attitude/try to exude less refined words and general knowledge to fit in with the middle-class, but generally it's very easy to pick-up with the regional accent to which class one may belong.

In France, it's a bit more complicated and I don't know their society that well, but generally most of the upper class will have attended certain schools (Science Po, Ecole Nationale, X or private Catholic Schools which are more expensive..) and live in certain areas of Paris or posh areas on the Riviera and of cities the size of Lyon or Lille, have property in the alps. The way one dresses is very telling of the societal class and the job (in France engineers are more respected than in Quebec, and will always belong to a level from middle-to upper class). The very Parisian level of French with no argo, the general knowledge about food, litterature, politics and world affairs are very important. The conversation abilities, the refined words.. etc.

What's with all of these, "I want to mingle with the rich" posts lately? Are RVFers insecure of their class standing? Laugh

Mingling with the upper class isn't particularly difficult. With all due respect Hank, these sound like you're trying too hard to fit in and it comes off as insecure. Think of it this way, be polite (please, thank you, excuse me,etc), be genuine, and above all use the silverware from the outside in. Just kidding on that last one, sort of.

Even if you think you have nothing interesting to add, the best advice I can give is to spend more time asking questions and listening. Really this works well in any situation. People like talking about themselves.

Second best advice I can give is, remember in Titanic when Jack got invited to dinner in the first class cabin? There's something to be said for the timeless look of a well tailored suit. You don't need to blow the bank, just keep a small collection of nice jumpers, a suit with different shirts, and button downs. Remember pants, nice belt, and a pair of good shoes. That's it!

The one time I bombed was when my clothes weren't fitting right after doing a bulk and having my suits not sit comfortably. That might have been because my collar was chocking me. Regardless, it needs to be good and high quality clothes. Nothing from Express.

Being a foreigner helps in many cases if you're hanging out with the upper class in a foreign country. You won't be, "one of them" and they will definitely forgive more faux pas on the basis of being foreign, but talking less than the person you're talking to will always ingratiate yourself into their graces. Dress the part.

If you want to take an interest in any of the following, it will help you feel comfortable talking with members of the upper class. Things like reading good fiction, traveling, interests in golf, tennis, racketball, yachting, classic cars, equestrian activities, really just having a passionate hobby helps. Hell you can even spin MMA as being a high class activity. They still have wrestling teams at the ivies and oxbridge.

Things you should never talk about are money By golly never ever talk about money. Don't talk about how expensive something is, how frugal you are, the price of anything, how you got a good deal on whatever, etc. Just don't do it. The truly wealthy just don't care or understand the limits of not having money. I've spent time in high finance circles and thusly money is considered "work" which is a double no no. Personally, I prefer to avoid conversations about work and money unless someone else asks first and even then I keep it short and sweet.

Finally, this isn't directed at anyone in this thread but if you're trying to get involved with a rich girl to try and make yourself rich, you're just asking for problems. Not only will your intentions stand out like a sore thumb (rich people can smell golddiggers a mile away) you'll be so well insulated you won't see a dime.

Like the soyboy arab guy who is with Bill Gates' daughter, the body language speaks for itself. Have a relationship with the woman first and the money will follow. Even better, look up to her father and (genuinely) be interested in trying to be the son he never had.

Vocabulary should be natural to the person speaking. If you're trying too hard to sound or be a certain way people will know and can easily tell.

My vocabulary and the phrases I use are usually the result of what I read more than anything. Not some kind of faux pas way to blend in with the upper class or seem that way to women.

That's an interesting point about accents.

Naturally, I have a very thick Philadelphia accent. It's very blue collar. My natural accent is lower class.

I have learned how to turn it on and off depending on my audience. Ultimately, I graduated from a prestigious private college. I can speak like one of them (until I've had too many drinks). I actually appreciate being able to be "Hank from the neighborhood" or "Hank from the country club." They're both useful at times.

@TheBeast1: I hate hanging out with rich people. I prefer the bartenders, tattoo artists, DJs, degenerates, people with real jobs (engineers, architects, accountants, dentists, IT dudes, realtors, etc.), and guys who actually know the difference between a guard and a tackle. They're more fun, and I don't like having my guard up all the time.

However, I have found that women are incredibly receptive to my "playboy" game. Pastels, docksiders, nice watch, and an attitude like I have a silver spoon in my mouth and grew up going to expensive private schools.

Quote: (01-20-2018 03:41 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

However, I have found that women are incredibly receptive to my "playboy" game. Pastels, docksiders, nice watch, and an attitude like I have a silver spoon in my mouth and grew up going to expensive private schools.

I've noticed this as well, and it's very hard to fake convincingly. I don't think it's something you're turning on or off, I think it's become a part of who you are.

I've been in IB for 3 years now, and despite having grown up poor I'm catching myself doing the young finance playboy motif. The worst part of it is it's becoming increasingly instinctual.

I do agree though, I fucking hate hanging out with rich people. There's something about having naturalized wealth from birth that makes them particularly abrasive to someone who grew up poor. I'm still trying to figure out what it is.

Quote: (01-20-2018 02:36 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Mingling with the upper class isn't particularly difficult. With all due respect Hank, these sound like you're trying too hard to fit in and it comes off as insecure.

This is a good post, but I wanted to point out that I've noticed Hank's unique grasp of Rust Belt Game before.

Philadelphia, Detroit, and parts in-between are a little different when it comes to class issues, in large part because they've seen a lot of out-migration and the traditional "elite" that you might expect in New York or Boston was battered by decades of economic decline. I don't think Hank's "trying to fit in", but rather distinguishing himself from the unwashed masses while still being able to hang, which is essential.

It's entirely possible for a real estate agent to carry on like a B-list celebrity here and develop an entourage without a hint of irony, and it's fucking strange sometimes, but for the most part, ordinary middle-class people tend to end up in isolated cliques that frequent the same few venues because they can't relate to 90% of the locals.

I've actually used the "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight" line as a joke before, to jab the woman I'm with about how good she has it if I'm treating her to something special or letting her join me for the weekend somewhere. It's not nearly as outrageous as it might sound to an outsider: most women you meet from day to day are pretty lucky to be taken to a place that has all the ingredients for a martini in stock at once. Some low-key, whiskey-and-cigars, old school playboy antics work well.

Quote: (01-20-2018 03:41 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

@TheBeast1: I hate hanging out with rich people. I prefer the bartenders, tattoo artists, DJs, degenerates, people with real jobs (engineers, architects, accountants, dentists, IT dudes, realtors, etc.), and guys who actually know the difference between a guard and a tackle. They're more fun, and I don't like having my guard up all the time.

However, I have found that women are incredibly receptive to my "playboy" game. Pastels, docksiders, nice watch, and an attitude like I have a silver spoon in my mouth and grew up going to expensive private schools.

I grew up in a dying rust belt town, swept barn stables for spending money, rode horses, and hung out with guys that were and still are rough around the edges. I appreciate that life and it saddens me that those parts of America are dying. It certainly added character to the person that I am today. I know what you're talking about. With that said, I'm happy to help, be kind, and extend a hand to the working man, I just don't like getting involved in their lives or hearing their stories. I find a lot of times that the lower classes' problems are mostly self-inflicted, especially if they're on some form of dole. This is especially so with those who work in the service industry. If there were opportunities for the lower class to make a decent wage, they would mostly clean themselves up which is why I voted for Donald Trump. I think even he instinctively understands this as well.

With regards to your issue of having your guard up, the only place I've ever experienced this stuffy attitude was with the New England upper class. Essentially Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Assachusetts. This was the only place where I found that uptight asswad attitude I think you're referring to. I have no experience with New Hampshire and Vermont and will spare them my condemnation until I've spent more time there.

Not even the "elite" that I've met in Chicago, New York, and California were as insufferable as those twats. In comparison with the English upper class, they're at least comfortable in their positions in life.

I think New England's upper class tries too hard.

Quote: (01-20-2018 04:25 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

Quote: (01-20-2018 02:36 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Mingling with the upper class isn't particularly difficult. With all due respect Hank, these sound like you're trying too hard to fit in and it comes off as insecure.

This is a good post, but I wanted to point out that I've noticed Hank's unique grasp of Rust Belt Game before.

Philadelphia, Detroit, and parts in-between are a little different when it comes to class issues, in large part because they've seen a lot of out-migration and the traditional "elite" that you might expect in New York or Boston was battered by decades of economic decline. I don't think Hank's "trying to fit in", but rather distinguishing himself from the unwashed masses while still being able to hang, which is essential.

It's entirely possible for a real estate agent to carry on like a B-list celebrity here and develop an entourage without a hint of irony, and it's fucking strange sometimes, but for the most part, ordinary middle-class people tend to end up in isolated cliques that frequent the same few venues because they can't relate to 90% of the locals.

I've actually used the "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight" line as a joke before, to jab the woman I'm with about how good she has it if I'm treating her to something special or letting her join me for the weekend somewhere. It's not nearly as outrageous as it might sound to an outsider: most women you meet from day to day are pretty lucky to be taken to a place that has all the ingredients for a martini in stock at once. Some low-key, whiskey-and-cigars, old school playboy antics work well.

Agreed, I should have spoken more to my rust belt childhood.

Notice I don't say rich. I say, upper class. You can still be upper class and have a modest income. It's a mindset and that's the best way you can break into their circles with limited funds.