Fantastic troll account. 10/10.

I particularly like how the guys pumping and dumping OP's alleged whore are referred to as "punks'.

Real men aren't afraid to step up.

I was Private Messaged and asked to share a bit more of my experiences related to this subject so here goes. This post might be more appropriate in a number of other threads, but I am putting it here so that the person who messaged me can find it easier. I will try to keep it as brief as possible so that it does not turn into an epic rant and really this stuff happened years ago. I will try to keep it as relevant to the original post as possible.

Many years ago I was about as beta as beta could be. My ex-wife I would describe as a good solid 5 maybe a 6. A cute face and the most amazing tits, but enough extra fat to make you think twice. Just enough looks on her to get male attention, but not much more. Not the hottest girl I had ever dated at that point in my life, but the one who put out on a constant basis. Long story short I got her pregnant and married her (fail Peekay, fail).

Everything was fine until after the child was born, about 6 months. At this point I begin to see a noticeable increase in attention seeking behavior. This was back in the day before social media became so prevalent, I think Myspace was still the big thing, but it continued into the Facebook era. Anyway, she would actively seek out old boyfriends, communicate with random men, and spend hours on the internet engaged with them. At social gatherings she would separate herself from me and openly flirt with as many men as possible, think of it as non-physical cuckolding, you all get the picture. Even at family gatherings she would ignore me and flirt with my brothers, cousins, even my father rather than be with me. At this point in time to this very day I do not think she was banging any of her men, because she was able to get their attention and keep it without actual sex.

Another part of this sad, sad situation to keep in mind is that while she was engaging in this behavior she would not allow me to have any friends male or female; my making eye contact with a waitress as I ordered my food would result in a huge fight. Her explanation for all of this went somewhere along the lines of "You cannot have female friends because you are to weak to resist the temptation to sleep with them if they offer" and "You cannot have male friends because men will corrupt you into cheating on me". In my stupid beta state her defense made sense to me. By now she would only have sex with me about once every six weeks or so and treated it like both a distasteful chore and a major reward for me. I thought "Well she has no interest in sex with me, her husband so why would she have sex with other men" and I also knew that in my perpetually horny state I probably would have jumped at the first chance I had to bang any chick.

This situation remained pretty consistent until two events took place; I joined the Army and she began approaching the wall.

Joining the Army was bad for this situation in the short term, but saved me in the long run. This was back in the GWOT days of deployment after deployment, I would be overseas for a year and then come home just long enough to knock her up and leave again. This contributed to the marriage lasting longer than it should have, just when I was fed up with her behavior I would be deploying again and it was all placed on the back burner. By the time I returned from overseas she would be acting like I was the greatest thing since sliced bread and I would tell myself that she had finally seen the light and everything was going to be better. Repeat this cycle several times.

What saved me from this harpy, even while I kept making mistakes was the fact that for the first time in my life I was exposed to a large group of Alphas in my unit. The shame really got to me. The guys in my unit were not trying to shame me, but they were constantly advising me about what was eventually going to happen (if it already had not of happened) with an attention seeking wife and constant deployments. I also got to see what was going on with everybody's wives, there was always someone who was getting a divorce or had just discovered that their wife had cheated. I suppose without even being aware of it this was my first exposure to the red pill. My situation became more and more unbearable.

While I was deploying and changing into a new person due to the good influences around me my wife was also changing. She was rapidly approaching an early wall. The drinking and partying while I was gone was catching up to her and she was putting on more and more weight. I found out later that over the years her attention seeking behavior had gotten more and more extreme. You see it started out with flirty banter over the internet and ended with (if rumors are true and Im 99 percent true they are) twelve dude gangbangs in the barracks.

So here is what I determined and please Men, call me out on this if you think I am taking the wrong track:

1. Attention from men is a woman's notch count. It differs from a mans notch count in that for men it is biologically driven to get laid. Women have been conditioned to seek attention and approval from as many men as possible due to social decay. A mans notch count can never be taken away, a woman's can. Once a woman has hit the point where she receives no male attention she returns to the state of attention-virgin and women try to avoid this at all costs.

2. Women are lazy and will always try to gain the maximum amount of attention with the least amount of effort. If they can rack up a decent amount of orbiters through looks and or flirtation they will. If they have to use actual sex to get the attention of a high value male they will. As their looks and desirability decrease women resort to more extreme behavior to get the male attention. If a man is in a LTR with a female who has many male friends it does not mean she is cheating on you. Unfortunatly, it means that your attention is not enough for her and as the wall approaches she will cheat on you to continue to receive the amount of attention she desires.

3. If you are in the military and deploy your wife will cheat, either in spirit or in fact as they seek the attention you are not there to give.

4. If you ignore the warning signs and end up divorced it is not the failed relationship or the financial considerations that will hurt the most. What ends up hurting the most is the fact that you knew it, you saw it, and you were too weak to take control of the situation and end it. When you finally realize how big of a pussy that you were that feeling can crush you for a long, long time.

Thanks for sharing your story, Peekay. It sucks you had to go through that, but you're on the other side now and you know the truth.

Quote:Quote:

2. Women are lazy and will always try to gain the maximum amount of attention with the least amount of effort. If they can rack up a decent amount of orbiters through looks and or flirtation they will. If they have to use actual sex to get the attention of a high value male they will. As their looks and desirability decrease women resort to more extreme behavior to get the male attention. If a man is in a LTR with a female who has many male friends it does not mean she is cheating on you. Unfortunatly, it means that your attention is not enough for her and as the wall approaches she will cheat on you to continue to receive the amount of attention she desires.

Exactly and this is why social media is crack to females. I would even argue a lot of them don't do this on purpose (i.e. I'm going to post this selfie so I get 50 likes), but rather they do it because it makes them feelz and they don't know why so they continue doing it because it must be right.

You obviously haven't been red pilled or you're just plain trolling. The amount of red flags here are insane. I highly encourage to check out this video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o1xf78EltKM . It really sheds light on single mothers

I don't know if this guy is serious or not, but if he is trolling, he just created a new type of troll, the ignoring red flags troll.

Quote: (04-11-2017 02:57 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

I don't know if this guy is serious or not, but if he is trolling, he just created a new type of troll, the ignoring red flags troll.

NARFALT

Not all red flags are like that

Guys, I would not be so quick to write this guy off as a troll. I can't believe some of the posts I read here. Some guys are just that blind or unaware. It can be incredible and unbelievable a guy could be in so deep that he's reluctant to break off a relationship with red flags popping up all over the place that it's easy for you guys to shout "troll!"

But not me.

Quote: (04-11-2017 10:52 AM)Peekay Wrote:  

4. If you ignore the warning signs and end up divorced it is not the failed relationship or the financial considerations that will hurt the most. What ends up hurting the most is the fact that you knew it, you saw it, and you were too weak to take control of the situation and end it. When you finally realize how big of a pussy that you were that feeling can crush you for a long, long time.

This really resonates with me, the old me. I wasted about three years of my life knowing my marriage was doomed right from the start -- not only with the red flags, but also by how she treated me.

I was too weak to either 1) break it off, or 2) tell her to go fuck herself whenever she treated me with contempt or disrespect.

If I came in here in 2013 or 2014 (the lowest point of my life) telling the story of my marriage and asking for help, I am 1000% positive you guys here would have called me a troll. I probably would have been banned, too.

Only when I finally had enough of her shit, found my shriveled up balls under the hood and kicked the bitch to the curb, did I finally wake up and see how bad things really got, starting with the poor choice I made in picking a woman to marry.

So, Peekay, I don't believe you are a troll. Thank you for sharing your story here, and I hope you make the right choice for yourself and the rest of your life.

Quote: (04-11-2017 06:28 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

So, Peekay, I don't believe you are a troll. Thank you for sharing your story here, and I hope you make the right choice for yourself and the rest of your life.

I dont think anyone is referring to Peekay as a troll, but rather maxalton: the OP

I 2nd the tip of the hat to Peekay

Well, I have a friend that I can imagine being in the OP's situation, so that's not what trollish. What's making me think he's one is, as Leonard says, the whole "I'm a real man not like those punks" discourse. I mean, if you are in this forum at all, you should already have the level of perspective necessary to see how that is a stupid thing to say.

Quote: (04-10-2017 09:32 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Quote: (04-10-2017 09:24 AM)maxalton Wrote:  

She anxiously wanted a real man, and stability for herself and her kid.

The number of red flags is pretty insane. Run away.

The last guy "screwed her over" uh huh, sure.

She seems to date pretty boy/badboys and you can't figure out why she'd be liking other guys instagram pictures and year old photos on facebook yet you point out she doesn't think you're a pretty-boy. Huh, can't figure out the math on that one either!

The only saving grace is you haven't knocked her up.

Exit stage left!

If this were true, what was the point of her getting with me to begin with? Desperation?

Quote: (04-11-2017 10:52 AM)Peekay Wrote:  

4. If you ignore the warning signs and end up divorced it is not the failed relationship or the financial considerations that will hurt the most. What ends up hurting the most is the fact that you knew it, you saw it, and you were too weak to take control of the situation and end it. When you finally realize how big of a pussy that you were that feeling can crush you for a long, long time.

Pure Gold. I can recall the exact moment, place and time at which I decided to ignore my better judgment and inner voice and marry my (obviously) crazy fiance (now Ex). I never told anyone. Thought I was the only man conceivably that stupid.

Fifteen years later, after being married for a decade and divorced for five more, I found myself at the bar with my only friend with a crazier Ex. (For years we ran a My Ex is Worse competition. Took the edge off a high conflict divorce and single parenting. He finally won when his Ex, who had been convicted of embezzlement from her employer, left to do her time without telling their 15 year old son.) Three martinis into the evening, after listening to his latest Excapade, I asked - when did you know? He said - "before I got engaged." WTF?!?

That was my first notion that I was not alone. First clue as to how pervasive this is. I have made it a practice to ask everyone who tells me about their Ex. Bottom Line - Almost no one pulls the plug when they know they should...

This was already all done at this point:

Quote:Quote:

She anxiously wanted a real man, and stability for herself and her kid.

There is really nothing more to add. However, I will reiterate that daddy issues will manifest themselves in the most arbitrary and detrimental ways possible in an LTR. Leave that bish alone!
Just be friends with her, hang out with the kids and so forth. Eliminate the relationship titles, DGAF so much about what she does and similarly, do your own thing.

Quote: (04-11-2017 06:28 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

Guys, I would not be so quick to write this guy off as a troll. I can't believe some of the posts I read here. Some guys are just that blind or unaware. It can be incredible and unbelievable a guy could be in so deep that he's reluctant to break off a relationship with red flags popping up all over the place that it's easy for you guys to shout "troll!"

Most, if not all of us can recall a time where we were so thick in the fog of pretending to be "in love", that we rationalized away some of the most obvious red flags. The funny thing is, when you look back you can see so many more you missed. Having real feedback, that our friends and family wont give, can be invaluable.

OP, since you mentioned lots of red flags. Why are you with her? Could you state all the good things about her and the relationship?

Quote: (04-14-2017 12:18 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

This was already all done at this point:

Quote:Quote:

She anxiously wanted a real man, and stability for herself and her kid.

what makes you say that?

Quote: (04-14-2017 09:10 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

OP, since you mentioned lots of red flags. Why are you with her? Could you state all the good things about her and the relationship?

I found her really attractive and there was something intangible about her that I really liked. It's hard to pinpoint an exact reason. I know we both come with our baggage. Me with my laundry list of psycho exes, and her with all the issues that i stated in my OP.

I will say, when she was dating that punk over the summer, I know that she would post flirty things about him on facebook, and she's never said one flirty thing about me. She usually just shares when I do something for her (early on in the relationship I bought her flowers because she was having a rough week, or when I fixed her toilet, or when I cheered her kid up.) She'll also share when we go out somewhere (like a trip/mini-vacation.) And whenever she does mention my looks (she used to call that prettyboy jerk she was dating "cute",) she's busting my balls about how I look. Telling my friend, "well we all know how irresistible he apparently is!" or "God help whoever marries him when it comes time for photography." Yeah she can be blunt with her ball-busting

Somebody mentioned that I just fill some sort of "fill-in-the-blank boyfriend void" for her. But we have been together for almost 7 months. Would she really be with me for that long if I wasnt what she was looking for?

Although I have to say, I still catch her Liking these particular guys pictures (one of them is a "friend" of hers whom I have a feeling she's slept with before.) And she randomly decided to follow one of her exes from a few years ago on instagram, even though he doesnt post on there. Back when they were together, he proposed to her, and she dumped him. She didn't want to commit because she was in her early 20s and wanted to sleep around. She tried coming back a year later (when she wanted stability) but he had moved on. And now this... Following him on instagram out of the blue..

Quote: (04-16-2017 10:25 AM)maxalton Wrote:  

Quote: (04-14-2017 12:18 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

This was already all done at this point:

Quote:Quote:

She anxiously wanted a real man, and stability for herself and her kid.

what makes you say that?

You knew what her motives were from the outset and that she has a history of enthusiastically barebacking "bad boys", but were counting on her to change. You sincerely believed that if you set a good example of a man for her and her child, that she would come to respect you.

Every clueless woman who gets hooked up with a clown thinks the same thing. As men, we all know that a woman who believes she's going to whip a failed man "into shape" is doomed. At the extreme end of this is the woman who ends up dead believing a violent man will stop beating her if only she gags on his cock enough and lets him "borrow" enough of her money. It only creates a toxic cycle of co-dependence, because people only change for themselves and dysfunctional people end up directing their anger with their own failures at people who they sense are trying to control/change/fix them.

You are in the male version of this. Her perception of a "real man" who is worthy of respect is not compatible with yours, and you won't force it to become compatible no matter how hard you spin your wheels. You ask:

Quote:Quote:

Would she really be with me for that long if I wasnt what she was looking for?

Some women do this for their entire lives, and some men settle for it until they die.

You were asked to state all the good things about your relationship, and you didn't say anything. She's "really attractive", and the rest of it is "intangible" and "hard to pinpoint". The only reason you're with her is because she passes your boner test and you fear that you'll lose access to this familiar cum receptacle if you try to find any others.

There. I pinpointed it. Your cock is not homeless. That's all she offers you.

You have even quoted her saying "God help whoever marries him". Has it occurred to you that she does not see a future with you and openly states this right in front of you? You're waiting this out to see how the "commitment" develops, but she's already decided how it will end: with you marrying somebody else.

The real question here is why you have a laundry list of psycho exes and how to break this cycle for your own good. As I said above, nobody will change you, but this is a change that comes from within you. Part it involves being honest with yourself about the fact that she is craving attention from her exes because the commitment to you is simply not there. She doesn't value what she receives from you.

This bitch is just a plate. She will probably not even be terribly hurt when you start getting your dick wet elsewhere. She's used to getting tossed aside because men figure out that she's a mess. No part of your life needs to be backburnered for this. Go with God.

OP, when someone on the forums brings up red flags, I try to keep an open mind. For all I know she's a millionaire hottie that cooks fantastic meals for him and they have a great sexual connection.
The one thing you mention is that you found her really attractive.
With all the red flags, do you really want a relationship with this woman (also keep in mind you let her around your child)?

Like mentioned by Jetset, why do you have a list of crazy exes?
How crazy are they?
Did they go crazy during the relationships, or after? Where there no signs before? Are they crazy to all their exes or just to you?

Probably the 5th guy warning you here, DO NOT IMPREGNATE HER.

Jetset and Svobada,
Another key point I failed to mention was that my kid and her kid have become close, and I've become close with her kid. I love her kid.

I noticed yesterday that she and my mother became friends on facebook. Would you not take that as a sign of commitment? If she viewed our relationship as being terminal, or she was going to end it soon, why add my mother on facebook? I dont know if my mother requested her, or if she requested my mother. But I would take that as a sign of commitment, wouldnt you?

Our kids are close, she's friends with some of my friends and now my mother on facebook. Aren't these signs that she has entrenched herself into this relationship? If she were to just pick up and leave tomorrow, there would be ramifications for her and her kid, dont you think?

She's also been more "showy" about me lately. Posting more things about me on facebook, posting more pics of us on facebook, etc. Maybe the few guys pics I catch her Liking on instagram is just her admiring other peoples looks? Or is that her past promiscuous nature rearing its head again?

Quote: (04-17-2017 08:22 AM)maxalton Wrote:  

Another key point I failed to mention was that my kid and her kid have become close, and I've become close with her kid. I love her kid.

That's a hardship for the tots to be sure, but it doesn't change anything. Little friends come and go. They'll get over it. It's cool that you're being a nice guy to her kid but you'll get over it, too.

Quote:Quote:

I noticed yesterday that she and my mother became friends on facebook. Would you not take that as a sign of commitment? If she viewed our relationship as being terminal, or she was going to end it soon, why add my mother on facebook? I dont know if my mother requested her, or if she requested my mother. But I would take that as a sign of commitment, wouldnt you?

She friends guys she used to bang who "screwed her over", too. If friending your mom is a sign of commitment, what is this a sign of?

Quote:Quote:

Our kids are close, she's friends with some of my friends and now my mother on facebook. Aren't these signs that she has entrenched herself into this relationship? If she were to just pick up and leave tomorrow, there would be ramifications for her and her kid, dont you think?

It is certainly a sign that she has entrenched herself, and I find it highly unlikely that she'll pick up and leave - if/until she finds a better deal. As you said, she has entrenched herself because she needs someone to provide stability for her kid. That includes attaching her tentacles to your mom and your child to make it harder for you to escape.

She'll stay, and also at some point very likely suck some "prettyboy/badboy" cock when she decides she's entitled to it as a reward for staying. This relationship was not the product of some major mental breakthrough for her in which she repudiated her lifestyle and became a better person, you were a safety net a few weeks after her first choice didn't pan out. You acknowledge that you'd shown interest in her, so she knew you'd try to "save" her.

At least one, possibly both of her parents are trash - and that has a way of running in families - or she's lying about it for your sympathy, which might be worse. She makes a display of getting rid of the dirtballs she prefers to bang on one social media platform but continues to seek their attention on another, then starts adding them on both when she thinks you've forgotten about the prior situation. I think it's pretty clear that you're being manipulated. The alternatives are not realistic. We can't stop you from trying to rationalize this. However, all signs point to you being used and deceived, and her putting her kid in the middle of it with your kid to discourage you from taking action when you figure it out. I hardly even see this as being worth having a confrontation with her about: you already had the social media talk once and she backtracked. Her charade will continue indefinitely if you let it.

Quote:Quote:

We'll call him Guy A.

The fact that we need to start being this specific about all the problem men she's bringing into your life to keep track of the situation should tell you something important about how crazy her drama actually is.



Sorry to paint so vividly, but you gonna still be hamstering about this when she gets knocked up by Guy Z and she tries to pass the kid off as yours because you're the real man who provides stability?

What's this argument going to look like? "He told me he was using a condom, but he screwed me over." "What a punk!"

Your line of reasoning leads to unacceptable places, doesn't it?

Quote: (04-16-2017 02:08 PM)Svoboda Wrote:  

OP, when someone on the forums brings up red flags, I try to keep an open mind. For all I know she's a millionaire hottie that cooks fantastic meals for him and they have a great sexual connection.
The one thing you mention is that you found her really attractive.
With all the red flags, do you really want a relationship with this woman (also keep in mind you let her around your child)?

Like mentioned by Jetset, why do you have a list of crazy exes?
How crazy are they?
Did they go crazy during the relationships, or after? Where there no signs before? Are they crazy to all their exes or just to you?

Probably the 5th guy warning you here, DO NOT IMPREGNATE HER.

I want to know what YOU think the biggest red flags are that Ive mentioned. Just out of curiosity and just to help me.

Our kids have also grown to be pretty close.

And I have alot of exes who are crazy unfortunately. One of them came back a couple of years later and tried issuing me a citation.

Quote: (04-17-2017 08:22 AM)maxalton Wrote:  

Jetset and Svobada,
Another key point I failed to mention was that my kid and her kid have become close, and I've become close with her kid. I love her kid.

I noticed yesterday that she and my mother became friends on facebook. Would you not take that as a sign of commitment? If she viewed our relationship as being terminal, or she was going to end it soon, why add my mother on facebook? I dont know if my mother requested her, or if she requested my mother. But I would take that as a sign of commitment, wouldnt you?

Our kids are close, she's friends with some of my friends and now my mother on facebook. Aren't these signs that she has entrenched herself into this relationship? If she were to just pick up and leave tomorrow, there would be ramifications for her and her kid, dont you think?

She's also been more "showy" about me lately. Posting more things about me on facebook, posting more pics of us on facebook, etc. Maybe the few guys pics I catch her Liking on instagram is just her admiring other peoples looks? Or is that her past promiscuous nature rearing its head again?

You are really entrenched and that makes it more difficult-- especially where those kids are involved. I never brought any potential new women around my kids until I was sure my now wife was the one, I was ready to propose and was certain she would accept. She had met my kids, at my office but I had not allowed them to bond with her.

I'm a little concerned about the weight you seem to place on social media as proof of her devotion. You need to understand that social media is not real. It is, perhaps amusing and gives you one sliver of insight into her psyche...but people (men and women) only present what they perceive to be their best selves-- it is like Disney World for our hamsters. So just bear in mind that who she is friends with on social media, your mom and everyone else, may or may not be as important as how she speaks to you, who she calls/texts and who she's spending time with.

Just food for thought.

Quote:maxalton Wrote:

And I have alot of exes who are crazy unfortunately. One of them came back a couple of years later and tried issuing me a citation.

OK, but for clarification... How do you end up with these crazy women? What happened that she came back with the police? Did you continue to back-and-forth with this woman after it ended?

I get the impression that you're dumpster-diving for damaged women and that this is the root of your troubles.

Quote: (04-17-2017 09:52 AM)Ironbutt62 Wrote:  

I'm a little concerned about the weight you seem to place on social media as proof of her devotion. You need to understand that social media is not real.

What I find concerning in that, in particular, is that he's doing forensic analysis of her Instagram and knows full well that he can't just talk to her about it. I think on some level, OP, you know she is not trustworthy.

Quote: (04-17-2017 08:22 AM)maxalton Wrote:  

I noticed yesterday that she and my mother became friends on facebook. Would you not take that as a sign of commitment?

Culturally, no, friending someone's mother on Facebook is not considered a sign of commitment. It just means that now she's in a situation where, if she decides to dump you, she can also dump your mom, by unfriending her. So she gets to shit on your family twice (to the extent that you or your mom take seriously what happens on social media).

Facebook tends to undermine relationships more than it cements them together through a shared social (media) circle. Almost all the stuff that actually keeps you together as a couple will happen outside of the public eye. If anything, Facebook is just a way by which offense can be inadvertently given, and drama stirred up, e.g. if she thinks to herself, "That bitch liked everyone else's comment but mine. I don't know what her problem is, but I'm blocking her!"

The fact that a woman friends your mom, your sister, several of your close friends, etc. doesn't mean that she won't, within months, cheat on you, dump you, file false rape allegations against you, etc. Facebook is just a MMORPG to help narcissistic women hone their skills at manipulation (with likes and comments from guys as a metric of success by which they can judge that they're leveling up). It's a tool by which they mindfuck betas with vague, ambiguous (but ultimately noncommittal) gestures that leave them speculating as to the meaning (the same way the ending to a psychological thriller might purposefully leave the audience to come up with its own theories), and publicly humiliate them by openly flirting with other men.

I would say that at this point, Facebook has become a more destructive addiction in women's lives, than video games have ever been in men's. Heavy social media use is, in and of itself, a red flag on par with a girl's being bulimic or a cutter.