Quote: (09-21-2016 01:11 PM)Putin Closes Wrote:
I speak semifluent mandarin, but I am not white. Unless you are trying to marry a goodie two shoes and willing to put up with massive xenophobic parents, relatives, neighbors, etc, absolutely not worth the hassle for girls alone. This is confirmed with multiple foreign acquaintances who all talk about the carousel and small pool of girls. Even those who speak ok mandarin.
A local 8-10 is not going to bang because you speak mandarin to her via nightlife / online if she wasn't open to the idea already. True fluent mandarin helps close the deal, but really too much hassle for its worth.
I highly doubt many of us are looking for marriage. So yes you may have a point, but she HAS to be open to the idea of dating a foreigner, and I'm sure you know how racist many traditional chinese parents are into slut shaming.
Eh, I won't deny the racism is there, but I can count on one hand how often that shit has cockblocked me. I don't have enough fingers to count the success. Their racism is more ignorant than outright malicious.
I have had feedback ranging from Obama must not be an American because all Americans are white and we rented or hired him to be president, to stuff like, "You aren't black. You are mixed. You do not look like those Africans in Guangzhou." I have met some that told me they think my skin is too dark. Still had her feeding me at the end, but if you are willing to game past these piddly remarks, you will find that many are just as curious, but had no idea prior to meeting you.
In some cases, I was the very first foreigner some Chinese had ever met in their entire lives. Ever startle or scare the shit out of an old man or woman because he did not realize you were standing behind him?
The more you talk to any of them or the more they see you around, the more they ease up and relax. So yeah it's much more xenophobia than actual racism. At first none of them like or care about foreigners, regardless of your color hue, but when you speak their language, drink their alcohol, love and eat their food with correct chopstick usage, they chill out quickly in my experience.
J Sway is better at this than probably any of us here including me. I should probably drag him in here to provide some additional insight. He hangs out and talks to random Chinese at the local grocery stores for fun. His community knows him pretty well. Even I don't do stuff like that, but shit, it works well for him, it would work for you and others too.
If you are not interested in putting in the effort to bridge gaps like that, then keep doing what you are doing. Time is precious, you cannot get it back, and we must all choose the right strategy we feel is worth our time as individuals. As long as you understand the differences, I'm fine with whatever strategy any of you guys choose to go with. (except that stupid shit David Bond does)
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1 John 4:20 - If anyone says, I love God, and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, Whom he has not seen.