Red Flags In The Game
11-09-2014, 05:20 PM
Red Flag: Setting up dates - When she says " I cant do that night", and she doesn't offer you alternative dates like "but I can meet you next Tuesday.." Classic LTR screening technique.
Red Flag: When you have to confirm everything with her. If a girl really wants to see you, and you are screening this girl for LTR or marriage potential, she will show up without you reminding her. She will show almost no signs of flaking. And if she does, she apologizes, offers you options, and seems genuine.
Red Flag: its been said before, divorced family, or family of extensive divorce, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, blended families, parents with multiple marriages. If divorce is pervasive in her life, it will be even easier for her to end your relationship. Despite her best attempts to break the chains.
Red Flag: Shes not a flexible giver. She doesn't give to you. Time, money, frequent flowing easy sex. She is hard to plan things with. She is hard to talk to. She is just hard to deal with. Gifts are rushed, not thoughtful to you specifically and feel insincere. She is not a giver. Or at least one to you.
And she is inflexible with you. She wants to change you, talks about it a lot, doesn't go along with your plans, exerts her plans over you mostly, for you to go along with. Gets massively butt hurt and sad when you say no. Just say no.
Red Flag: Her finances are a mess. Rent, credit cards, job, home, loans, anything related to exes that jilted her financially. Any hint of this and she is not a keeper, at all.
Red Flag: She tells you she got an abortion. She tells you she was sexually abused. She tells you she was wronged by men in general. Usually it will be her dad or past significant other. That her dad is a racist, or a bum, or some other victim bullshit she will lay on you. Or you will learn the life story about her ex-boyfriend she got an abortion with, and find out he's still a family friend. Its only a matter of time before you are the next male target in her life. Get out soon enough before you become this while you are with her, and she has the keys to your apartment.
Red Flag: She talks a lot about exes. She talks a lot about other men. She notices other men when you are out with her, and makes comments on them. She tells you all about her past relationships and past sexual relationships, unprompted. She has diarrhea of the mouth in regards to this. At the end of the day she is trying to up her value in her eyes. As it is innocent SMV selling, it paints her past with pictures you cant get out of your mind. Smart women, or women that really like you, wont go there.
Red Flag: She smokes heavily and/or drinks almost everyday. Especially if she has been sick before. Maybe she smokes and once had cancer. Not a keeper my man. Not baby making stock.
Red Flag: Her home is gross. Despite how much she works, or how much her dog pisses all over everything, if she cant handle her home as a single person with relatively no responsibility other than a job, how the hell do you expect her to do that when you marry her and she is juggling kids, and possibly still working.
Red Flag: Her siblings are messed up. Substance abusers, fat, broke, criminals, whatever. If they are still in her life and she has not severed ties, you will be their new benefactor my friend. You may not learn this until you are with her for a while.
At the end of the day, all of the preparation and work you have put into being a man of character should not go wasted on someone of lower quality than yourself. Especially if you are looking for more, someone to stay in your life, you want her to elevate you, not bring you down and waste your time, money and health.