Bad luck or bad game?

Background:

Hey guys I just lost a decent one who I think is fresh out of a relationship. (I dont know exactly how long) Shes currently living with a friend right now while she finds a new place after moving out from the place she had with her ex bf.

We met about 2 weeks ago and exchanged facebooks and up to this past Saturday communication was pretty decent. She complimented that she loved talking with me over facebook and things were good.

Last Saturday we hung out at a nightclub and as far as I know things went well.. close dancing.. decent conversation.. i was escalating.. while i wasn't able to get her back to my apartment, we kissed at the end of the night and setup tentative plans for this week.

Today I get the following text:

"I think its not a good idea for us to meet again. Im still in love with my ex boyfriend.. I can't forget him. I don't want to give you false hopes. Thanks for the funny evening. I wish you all the best"

Do you guys think I failed or was it just bad timing?

You failed when you didn't post this in the Newbie section

She was probably looking for a one night stand, not a re lationship, you didn't get it, she decided to move on.

1. Newbie board issue, dating question
2. You need to read a serious book about game.

You have a square mentality, thus you're running into square problems. Conventional mindset and methods give conventional results.

WIA

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:06 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

You failed when you didn't post this in the Newbie section

Sorry fellas I thought it was the right section

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:09 AM)pitt Wrote:  

She was probably looking for a one night stand, not a re lationship, you didn't get it, she decided to move on.

I am also leaning towards your theory.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:11 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

1. Newbie board issue, dating question
2. You need to read a serious book about game.

You have a square mentality, thus you're running into square problems. Conventional mindset and methods give conventional results.

WIA

Thanks for roasting me lol. I am actually not a newbie to the game.. just new to the forum and new to the country im living in. This place has turned my game upside down and inside out. (Germany)

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her? As mentioned by Pitt, she was probably looking to get fucked.
The part about "false hopes" really sums up the impression you made (looking for love). That game is fine with chicks that are looking for love and won't bang without the prospect of love, but this chick was not looking for love.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

Facebook because I didn't have time to properly game her upon pickup and it was just a quick thing. We later switched to Whatsapp.

We were supposed to meet up after one week but she got sick and cancelled. Thus the meet up the following week.

Feels good to be back on these type of forums.. I need the advice to whip my ass back into shape.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

This is a good insight.

Since the girl just got out of a relationship you weren't going to get her by engaging the emotional department - her ex boyfriend still occupies that part of her mind. What she probably wanted was a distraction, an experience, an adventure completely unlike the finished relationship.

So an exciting fling and not too much conversation. I'm sure she already talked enough with her ex before breaking up to last a couple of months and that's not what she wants from a new guy.

I've fucked German girls, Persian girls, Venezuelan chicks, Russians, Bulgarians, Egyptians....ad nauseam

Your lack of success is in direct correlation to your lack of understanding.

WIA

Very rarely is luck a significant factor in the game.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:26 AM)sixsix Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

This is a good insight.

Since the girl just got out of a relationship you weren't going to get her by engaging the emotional department - her ex boyfriend still occupies that part of her mind. What she probably wanted was a distraction, an experience, an adventure completely unlike the finished relationship.

So an exciting fling and not too much conversation. I'm sure she already talked enough with her ex before breaking up to last a couple of months and that's not what she wants from a new guy.

Goddamnit... Its so fucking clear to me now. Thanks for the explanation I could slap myself. I've lost my edge out here for some reason and now i gotta get it back.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:28 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I've fucked German girls, Persian girls, Venezuelan chicks, Russians, Bulgarians, Egyptians....ad nauseam

Your lack of success is in direct correlation to your lack of understanding.

WIA

I have fucked many different types of girls as well but have seemed to lost my way... Time for a refresher or something... Thanks for the input!

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:26 AM)sixsix Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

This is a good insight.

Since the girl just got out of a relationship you weren't going to get her by engaging the emotional department - her ex boyfriend still occupies that part of her mind. What she probably wanted was a distraction, an experience, an adventure completely unlike the finished relationship.

So an exciting fling and not too much conversation. I'm sure she already talked enough with her ex before breaking up to last a couple of months and that's not what she wants from a new guy.

Solid break down of the situation.

Ipso facto because you're making this post you overvalued her. She may just have been looking for a fling but it sounds like you immediately jumped at the role of "Facebook Boyfriend" which she readily accepted.

"false hopes" = you came off as a Stage 5 clinger.

Basically you blah blahed with this girl too long instead of quickly assessing whether she was in or out.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:26 AM)sixsix Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

This is a good insight.

Since the girl just got out of a relationship you weren't going to get her by engaging the emotional department - her ex boyfriend still occupies that part of her mind. What she probably wanted was a distraction, an experience, an adventure completely unlike the finished relationship.

So an exciting fling and not too much conversation. I'm sure she already talked enough with her ex before breaking up to last a couple of months and that's not what she wants from a new guy.

"Last Saturday we hung out at a nightclub and as far as I know things went well.. close dancing.. decent conversation.. i was escalating.. while i wasn't able to get her back to my apartment, we kissed at the end of the night and setup tentative plans for this week."

He Facebook's a chick, and then takes sand to the beach.

He then gets a little tongue action, but doesn't seal the deal.

Where ever she was mentally, she probably now thinks that he is expecting sex on the next meet up. Rookie mistake to escalate when you can't close.

The whole endeavor was flawed from the beginning, and he failed to figure out the logistics of getting her into a spot where he could bang.

And we know nothing about what was said.

The play here was to create an escape for the two of them (not bring her to the lions den) and then every move pushes them closer to sleeping together that night.

I don't see any evidence of game 101, much less anything about him spiking attraction, increasing the heat, getting her logistics.

This was a date that did not go as he wanted.

It's not that the plan failed, he failed to plan. The plan was non existent. If he banged, he would have gotten lucky.

He's not seeing this, even though it's clear as day.
She kissed
She could have done more if he took the obstacles out of the way.

Tight game, every move leads towards sex.

WIA

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:15 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

Thanks for roasting me lol. I am actually not a newbie to the game.. just new to the forum and new to the country im living in. This place has turned my game upside down and inside out. (Germany)

Be more humble. From your summary it is very clear that you're a relative beginner by our standards.

How many bangs have you had?

Go read Bang, do 100 approaches etc and until you get to dozens of bangs don't even *think* there's a possibility that it was down to bad luck.

Becoming better consistently comes from blaming bad game for poor results and not chance.

Quote: (05-03-2016 02:26 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Ipso facto because you're making this post you overvalued her. She may just have been looking for a fling but it sounds like you immediately jumped at the role of "Facebook Boyfriend" which she readily accepted.

"false hopes" = you came off as a Stage 5 clinger.

Basically you blah blahed with this girl too long instead of quickly assessing whether she was in or out.

True.. I was probably "too available". She messaged me on Facebook/Whatsapp pretty consistently so (I would say daily) leading up the events which happened. As I previously said she got sick right before the first date so I had to wait a week for the second which led to too much talk time

Quote: (05-03-2016 04:40 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:26 AM)sixsix Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

This is a good insight.

Since the girl just got out of a relationship you weren't going to get her by engaging the emotional department - her ex boyfriend still occupies that part of her mind. What she probably wanted was a distraction, an experience, an adventure completely unlike the finished relationship.

So an exciting fling and not too much conversation. I'm sure she already talked enough with her ex before breaking up to last a couple of months and that's not what she wants from a new guy.

"Last Saturday we hung out at a nightclub and as far as I know things went well.. close dancing.. decent conversation.. i was escalating.. while i wasn't able to get her back to my apartment, we kissed at the end of the night and setup tentative plans for this week."

He Facebook's a chick, and then takes sand to the beach.

He then gets a little tongue action, but doesn't seal the deal.

Where ever she was mentally, she probably now thinks that he is expecting sex on the next meet up. Rookie mistake to escalate when you can't close.

The whole endeavor was flawed from the beginning, and he failed to figure out the logistics of getting her into a spot where he could bang.

And we know nothing about what was said.

The play here was to create an escape for the two of them (not bring her to the lions den) and then every move pushes them closer to sleeping together that night.

I don't see any evidence of game 101, much less anything about him spiking attraction, increasing the heat, getting her logistics.

This was a date that did not go as he wanted.

It's not that the plan failed, he failed to plan. The plan was non existent. If he banged, he would have gotten lucky.

He's not seeing this, even though it's clear as day.
She kissed
She could have done more if he took the obstacles out of the way.

Tight game, every move leads towards sex.

WIA

I took her to the nightclub because its a place of high value for me.. I know the owner/everyone there and are able to get us VIP and free drinks.

Archie you are right. I screwed this one up pretty bad.

Quote: (05-03-2016 05:09 PM)Valentine Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:15 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

Thanks for roasting me lol. I am actually not a newbie to the game.. just new to the forum and new to the country im living in. This place has turned my game upside down and inside out. (Germany)

Be more humble. From your summary it is very clear that you're a relative beginner by our standards.

How many bangs have you had?

Go read Bang, do 100 approaches etc and until you get to dozens of bangs don't even *think* there's a possibility that it was down to bad luck.

Becoming better consistently comes from blaming bad game for poor results and not chance.

I was just making a joke.

I have had about 30 bangs in my lifetime or so (should have more I think). I am a case of a guy not following protocol and getting sloppy over the years (mid 30s).

Thanks for all your input everyone. Im going to go read Bang.. and take a refresher course cause ive def fallen off the horse.

To be honest I wasn't really sure about the girl for a relationship anyways it still came over to her like I was. SHIT.

Quote: (05-03-2016 07:27 PM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

I took her to the nightclub because its a place of high value for me.. I know the owner/everyone there and are able to get us VIP and free drinks.

Archie you are right. I screwed this one up pretty bad.

Well it happens to all of us. If you don't do at least once cringeworthy thing a week, you aren't growing your game.

The thing here is that you no longer need to impress her with "value" if you're going out on a date after Facebooking her.

She was attracted enough to agree to go out.

So in the sequence
- find/meet
- open
- attract
- deal with logistics and obstacles
- give her plausible deniability
- break the touch barrier/flirt - increase the heat
- rapport/back and forth conversation

- give her more plausible deniability

- deep rapport - she's telling you shit about her, because she's comfortable
- comfort with the idea of you touching her and leading her

- give her more plausible deniability

- isolate - light kiss, build the heat
- bounce

- give her more plausible deniability - "that thing I been droning on about, let's go check it out real quick. Maybe we'll fool around a little, but I got important business in the morning, so you'll have to scoot."

- get her back to the sex location and seduce (which is a whole chapter in and of itself)

You went backwards instead of forward by trying to raise your "value" and "impress" her. That wasted valuable time. (I'm betting you started the date late, instead of earlier like a good player would)

She was already impressed. It's like I'm saying in that Glasses thread, these chicks already want to fuck you deep down. You've got to make it easy for her by getting into the good shit.

Either you don't recognize that in her, or you don't feel good about what you bring to the table.

Bad game either way. Unobservant or low self esteem.

It's cool though.
You're learning.

WIA

On the bright side at least she let you know that you don't have a chance anymore.
The majority of girls usually keep leading you along and flake till you stop texting them or they just go ghost on you.

Also if you're escalating and it's not in a "safe" environment you might never see her again.
By safe i mean your place or her place, not a nightclub bathroom or in some back alley downtown. They girls that fuck in club bathrooms aren't that common, unless you're super aggressive and your game is super tight. After the fact you may never see her again.

WIA and others already dished out all the gold.

I would just add that, taking a date to a bar/club is simply a bad move. Bar/club is where you game and approach girls, not where to take your date.

Follow the first date bang recipe with slight adjustments to make it really fun or action-packed because right now that girl's head is a giant mess of emotions.

Also, stop thinking in terms of values. Young girls are way too stupid to have values themselves, or to recognize values in men. Fun and intrigue are what you need.

Girls just out of a LTR are sometimes the best way to get a high quality girl who would otherwise be locked up.

Thanks once again for the help guys.

My stupid not well thought out strategy was the following:

My nightclub game is the strongest I have got so I decided to play on my turf.

1. Get us in VIP and drink a little to "loosen" things up.
2. Get some good conversation flowing.
3. Get on the dancefloor (I am a good dancer) and do push/pull.. I am pretty good at teasing girls on the floor and getting things going.
4. Back to conversation.. and start escalating some more... kissing and what not
5. Really heat things up on the dancefloor again and make her hot.
6. Bring her back to apartment for bang.

This formula has actually worked more than a couple of times.. ive taken girls to dinner to dancing to my apartment. So I never doubted the formula before.

Well back to the basics!

Quote: (05-04-2016 04:49 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

Thanks once again for the help guys.

My stupid not well thought out strategy was the following:

My nightclub game is the strongest I have got so I decided to play on my turf.

1. Get us in VIP and drink a little to "loosen" things up.
2. Get some good conversation flowing.
3. Get on the dancefloor (I am a good dancer) and do push/pull.. I am pretty good at teasing girls on the floor and getting things going.
4. Back to conversation.. and start escalating some more... kissing and what not
5. Really heat things up on the dancefloor again and make her hot.
6. Bring her back to apartment for bang.

This formula has actually worked more than a couple of times.. ive taken girls to dinner to dancing to my apartment. So I never doubted the formula before.

Well back to the basics!

I think the bigger flaw was the impression you gave (probably by talking too much with her before meeting up).
The night out could have worked.

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:23 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

Quote: (05-03-2016 11:19 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

Bad game.
First of all Facebook. Second, why talk 2 weeks with some chick that's newly single without banging her?

Facebook because I didn't have time to properly game her upon pickup and it was just a quick thing. We later switched to Whatsapp.

We were supposed to meet up after one week but she got sick and cancelled. Thus the meet up the following week.

Feels good to be back on these type of forums.. I need the advice to whip my ass back into shape.

Mis 2 centavos:

She was never sick, she was banging her ex probably.

*Never hang out with a flake on a saturday night.

Sorry for bumping this thread... but this girl has now come back!!!! I never responded to her last message that we shouldnt talk anymore.

I got the following text ON FACEBOOK today:

"Hi,.. I want to say sorry for my previous behavior.. that was not right on my part... I just wanted to see how you are doing"

To avoid making another mistake.. how would you proceed going forward from here?

Quote: (05-28-2016 10:46 AM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

Sorry for bumping this thread... but this girl has now come back!!!! I never responded to her last message that we shouldnt talk anymore.

I got the following text ON FACEBOOK today:

"Hi,.. I want to say sorry for my previous behavior.. that was not right on my part... I just wanted to see how you are doing"

To avoid making another mistake.. how would you proceed going forward from here?

Sounds like she wants an other VIP night in the club on you again if she doesn't have to put out for it.

I'd reply with "ha" or "pfft" and see how conciliatory she actually is. If she's willing to come to your house and cook dinner, you're in.

If she wants another night out at the club on your buck, find better stuff to waste your cash on.