Yes. After a long internal battle over this issue, I have become a believer.
I want to share the relevant parts of my journey with those who are on the fence. I understand a lot of your objections to religion because I recently held them, and I can relate. Speaking about what brought me to the point of belief may help you realize some things you may have not discovered.
Last year I was going through a traumatic experience. One thing that helped me overcome the issue was humbling myself by reading about those who have gone through much worse than me. I began reading The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn. In it, he described the absolute horror people were subjected to under the Soviet regime. It is truly a masterpiece that every man must read if he is to understand humanity. It is simultaneously a warning of the unspeakable evil that humanity is capable of, and the incredible glory of a soul which remains unbroken through endless suffering. One part in particular stood out to me:
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I could have replied to him very firmly, but prison had already undermined my certainty, and the principal thing was that some kind of clean, pure feeling does live within us, existing apart from all our convictions, and right then it dawned upon me that I had not spoken out of conviction but because the idea had been implanted in me from outside. And because of this I was unable to reply to him, and I merely asked him: “Do you believe in God?” “Of course,” he answered tranquilly.
It was then that I began to question why athiesm was being promoted so fervently in popular culture and academia. Athiests may say that they're minorities and often marginalized, but it's plain to see which belief system is glorified and which is punished. Throughout college, professors would openly mock Christianity and encourage students to join in. It was made to seem laughable and shameful. Look at the recent cases of Christian business owners are being treated with absolute derision, and held to legal double standards. The athiest worldview is actively being promoted, and I was curious why this was.
I began reading The Bible. I had difficulty squaring some of what I read with my own experience. Specifically, the Israelites experienced numerous miraculous occurrences, and it made me question why God doesn't make himself shown or otherwise provide irrefutable proof of his existence in the modern era.
Does this sound familiar to any of you?
Shortly after I began reading The Bible, I began experiencing night paralysis. I was conscious, but unable to move or speak. Imagine trying to scream or get up, but nothing happens. It was an unpleasant experience to say the least. I read that there's a rational explanation for it, and that it's due to the physical body still being in 'sleep mode'. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of terror no matter how much I tried to rationalize it. There just
felt like a malevolent presence was involved.
About this time, I read an article on ROK that really made me open my mind to the possibility that all of this was real. It describes a man's personal experience during an exorcism.
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This took place in the middle of June. It was about 90 degrees outside, but as soon as we crossed the threshold into the house it was like stepping into a meat locker. I went from sweating a bit to being able to see my breath, and it definitely wasn’t because of any air conditioning.
The couple’s infant child was in a crib in the living room. They said the baby would wail and cry uncontrollably inside its upstairs room until they took him out. I noticed that the baby, bundled up in blankets, and the pet dog spent most of that morning staring at the top of the staircase and whimpering.
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If being “red pill” means seeing the world as it really is, then men need to understand that there is more to this world than sensory experience. You may not believe in the supernatural but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. To borrow a line from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, you had best unfuck yourself or Satan’s minions will unscrew your head and shit down your neck.
The whole article can be found here, and I would encourage you all to read it:
http://www.returnofkings.com/69943/what-...e-exorcist
Some of the comments were also interesting:
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Fair enough, folks. I won't say that I've seen things move by themselves, or heads spin 180.
Sometimes, in the weeks following an occult ritual, I had flashes of knowledge (suddenly knowing, for example, the exact atomic weight of Boron) followed by a long bout of depression. Occasionally, I would become immediately outraged, with no cause. Most nights my bedroom was full of whispers. These were easily explained away.
A few times I had something (with a name - they always had names) talk to me, follow me around, and mock me. That was less easy, but each time it happened I would give up the occult for a while, and they'd eventually go away.
I left the occult because, when I was attempting to call on a Goetic demon (using the Lemegeton), an angel appeared. It seemed to radiate malice, and it mocked me for a fool.
I called on Jesus in absolute terror, and the thing fled. I then had a "Damascus road" experience wherein the presence of the Lord weighed me to the floor as I became fully aware of my sin and need for the Savior.
So it worked out in the end. Still don't recommend it.
A few months later, I read a post by Ambicatus in the "Biggest Red Pill you ever had to Swallow" thread (
thread-51980...pid1160132 ), where he stated that demonic possession is real. I inquired his experiences regarding that, and he took considerable time and effort to share his story. It gave me the confidence to share my sleep paralysis story with him, and he gave me more insight into what may be going on behind it.
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Those dreams you describe are something I used to experience as a child and once or twice as an adult too. It's known as "sleep paralysis" in the medical/psychological world but it's pretty obviously demonic oppression since the only cure for it seems to be prayer. It really is awful though, that feeling of abject terror and helplessness when you can't move or even cry out and you just have to endure it.
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I think it's pertinent to note that you experienced the spiritual oppression of wagering and sleep paralysis only after you began reading the Bible. This brings up another commonly misunderstood thing about demonic manifestations.
The manifestations themselves are actually an indication of desperation on the part of the demon. You see, if you had a demon while you were an atheist, then why would he manifest? He knows that all he has to do is keep quiet wait for you to die and your soul then belongs to Satan, whom he serves.
But if you start making inroads into the faith then he has a serious problem. Then it becomes in his best interest to discourage you at all costs. Also I don't know what else you were doing, but we know from the Bible that demons seem to up the manifestations around Jesus' holy people (and Jesus) - have a look at Acts 16:16-18 and Luke 4:31-36 to see what I mean.
Following that discussion, I began to read The Bible more, and I started praying, though rationally I was still on the fence. The sleep paralysis came back, almost every night. One night it was especially vivid. I specifically recall trying to move my arm to make a cross, and to say "Praise Jesus", but my arm couldn't move and I couldn't speak. I consider myself hyper rational, but the experience and the feeling of abject terror I felt was undeniable. I simply couldn't deny it any longer. I consciously accepted God and became a believer. The sleep paralysis stopped.
There are a few other points I wanted to address, and I will get to them in a future post.