Quote: (06-26-2015 12:04 PM)Menace Wrote:
Having had what I would consider a fair amount of experience with FOB Chinese girls without the use of any alcohol, my suggestion is to limit the PDA to hand holding initially. Most important thing is get them to your place. Escalate in private. Do not assume they are not interested; make your moves there. This has always worked for me.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
If there's one thing to know about seducing Chinese women, this would be it.
I don't worry at all with Chinese women if they show no signs of sexual interest on a first (or a second or third date). She's not going to initiate physical touch herself and she's very likely to respond enthusiastic to your kino in public (although there's a good chance she let it continue and pretend to not notice).
If you want to ramp up your escalation, run Tuth's
first date bang recipe.
Setting The Scene
I live a fifteen minute walk from the premiere nightlife neighbourhood. My choice to live where I do is no accident. San Li Tun is full of Western restaurants, so if I can't get a girl to my place for Date #1 (and usually she will want to meet somewhere public for that all important first date with a dangerous and sexy foreigner), I'll take her to dinner somewhere in this neighbourhood.
I'll eliminate the possibility of her wanting to meet somewhere convenient to her by framing the date around wanting to show her my favourite Thai restaurant or that I go to the same discount night at QMex every Thursday and she's welcome to show up and join me.
Sometimes logistics are a cockblock (she needs to be home by ten because she works the next day -- perfectly legitimate reason not to go home with you, she is probably very willing to visit at a more convenient time.
However, if doesn't need to be home till eleven or later, I'll promote a venue change with the
following words:
"It's still pretty early. My place is nearby, we can watch a movie or something. Or, if you prefer it's a good evening to enjoy a walk together."
The girl will always opt for a walk, after which I will take her on a slightly circuitous loop that ends right by my apartment.
I'll then
say this:
"This is where I live. Let's go upstairs for a few minutes and I can show you pictures of my family."
She will always agree.
Escalation
It's not a given that a girl will be up for a romp in the sack on the first date, but generally, unless your dealing with a rare girl who has all male friends, the girl won't be at your place unless she's open to getting intimate....five months in the future.
She is not usually planning to have sex with you.
However, she will not be surprised by you initiating physical contact.
It will go one of two ways with Chinese girls:
The First Way: You'll kiss her once and she'll get super horny and be rubbing up on you. At this point, simply pick her up, carry her to your bed and go to town on her 35kg body. She's literally beg you to fuck her if you try to build the foreplay too slowly.
The Second Way: You'll get LMR (last minute resistance) and ASD (anti-slut defence) for hours and hours.
She'll say things like, "This isn't my plan" and "this is not correct!"
This means that she totally wants to have sex with you, but she feels bad about wanting in on the first date.
At this point, simply carry her to your bed and adopt a "one-step back, two-steps forward" approach. She'll thank you later.
Escalation Related Notes
Unless she's really into you and wants to drop a hit by initiating hand-holding with you in your living room, she's probably not respond to any kino escalation short of kissing her somewhere on her face.
She'll just pretend that it isn't happening, but this is a green light. If she didn't like it, she would definitely make her discomfort known by sitting further away, trying to leave or giving you a "Let's Just Be Friends" speech in broken English (or in Chinese, if you happen to be awesome). I am not awesome and have never received the "LJBF" speech in any language except English.
If you're a weak-eyed pussy like me, just get mildly handsey while try to work up the courage to go for the make out.
If we don't just end up talking naturally or if she's sitting to far away from me, I'll show her pictures of my family on my laptop, which will force her to come sit next to me. I will then put a hand on her back with increased frequency until I just leave it resting there.
If we end up watching a movie, because she's already seen my family pictures and we don't seem to have a lot to talk about, put my arm around her back, grab her shoulder and pull her in so that she is leaning gently against me. If she doesn't resist, she's open to continued escalation.
I'll play with her hair for a while as I slowly work up the courage to try to kiss her.
IMPORTANT: By this point in the evening I've already made a point of casually bringing up her dating history and asking about her first kiss. If she got her first kiss at a younger age than I did, I will have already teased her about this. If she got her first kiss at a later age than I did, I will have already teased her about this as well.
If she has had a boyfriend before (and she almost always has), I'll ask if he was a good kisser.
I'll have some fun with it by making statements like this:
I'm a really good kisser, because I love cuddling and kissing, but I'm absolutely terrible at sex, because I'm lazy and just want to lie on my back and let the girl do all the work. I'm a taker, not a giver.
I'll also playfully compose a list of the reasons why the two of us should never date or marry. They love it when I do this. I'll through in lots of references to why we would be terrible at kissing together and why the sex between us would be terrible. I've never had a girl (who wasn't a virgin) get uncomfortable about this, because I'm only talking about us not have sex and not dating.
Of course, I will say all of this in a playful context, so the girl doesn't take me serious, but it allows me to bring up kissing, sex and dating already when we are out for dinner (or having a drink if we meet up too late for dinner (8PM or later).
This means that I have the option, to re-bringing up the topic of kissing in her bedroom, albeit in a playful fashion.
Like all women, you can't just ask a Chinese girl "Do you want me to kiss you?" She will say no.
Instead, once I have her sitting right next to me and she hasn't responded badly (or at all) to me putting my arm around her lower back, stroking her back, playing with her hair or holding her hand, then I'll her, "Do you feel shy now? Are you a shy girl?"
It doesn't matter what her answer is.
My next move is to kiss her left cheek (since I always put her on my left side on the couch).
Then I ask her, "Do you feel shy now?"
It doesn't matter what her answer is.
I then kiss her forehead and ask, "Do you feel shy now?"
It doesn't matter what her answer is.
I give her one more kiss on the right cheek. This forces me to move my mouth past her mouth, but instead of kissing her mouth, I move onto her cheek, which demonstrates to her that:
*I'm not desperate.
*I'm playful and this is fun.
*I'm not just trying to kiss her as fast as possible.
*That I can come close to her mouth with my mouth and the sky doesn't fall down instantly.
I do all of this, because up to this point the girl will generally have simply ignored my kino and pretended that nothing is going on.
Going through these steps prepares her mentally for what is coming, so that she doesn't end of flinching when I go for the kiss.
If the first kiss is botched, it may embarrass her and she's be resistant to a second attempt.
Don't be surprised if she has a look of surprise or horror on her face when you're going through these steps. Most girls here have only dated a few guys and the most, so they aren't used to having a guy put serious moves on them on the first or second date.
She was not planning to kiss you tonight, because she is a good girl.
That being said, that doesn't mean that she won't change her tune once you go in for the make out.
The make out is obviously the next step. After kissing her right cheek, I'll ask her one more time, "Do you feel shy now? Are you a shy girl?"
It doesn't matter what her answer is.
I'll then go in the make out. I'll start off with a short closed mouth kiss, but they are usually cool with escalation to full on French kissing.
Some girls don't want to kiss too much, but then I just start working on their necks, which they love and are cool with. It's less awkward then kissing a guy for the first time and allows them to engage in more non-activity. This permits them to enjoy sexual feelings and stimulation, without feeling like a bad girl for participating in further escalation.
It makes it easier for her to say, "I cannot believing we had the sex tonight" later on.
Lately, a move I've been going to has been to wait until the non-kissing escalation steps are completed and then just pick the girl up and stick her on my lap. She'll find this weird and I'll then lay her down on the couch, lay down beside her and go through the kissing steps, as described above.
Once the make out begins, I've never had a girl react when I grab her ass. She'll just pretend that I'm not doing it, but these usually seem to enjoy it.
If you go for the boobs or vaginal region, anticipate some immediate ASD and LMR. If there is no such resistance the first time your grab her boobs, she is totally DTF. Immediately pick her up, take her to your bed and fuck her silly.
It's fairly likely, however, that you'll encounter some initial resistance to further escalation past grabbing her ass. That's par for the course, however, and should stop you from picking her up and carrying her to your bed to continue escalation.
Just insist that there isn't enough room on the couch to cuddle and she'll go willingly, even though "she can't have sex on a first date."
Waiting For Your Moment
I had a girl come over a week ago. She didn't want to meet for a drink because she doesn't like noisy bars and I don't care for overpriced coffee shops, so I invited her to my place.
She agreed, but told me via text "that she'd only come over if we didn't do anything."
I told her, "no problem."
She visited for two hours, we had a nice chat and respectfully kept my distance. She was still sizing me up.
She text me friendly (but didn't swamp me with messages) for the next week. She was away for the weekend seeing family, so I told her that I'd cook her a delicious meal when she returned. She agreed.
She came over, I went through the usual steps of giving her a classy value building dinner with wine and then moved her to my sitting area, where I sat a distance away and drank water to "sober up, so that she couldn't take advantage of me."
I'd already made several jokes about her "taking advantage of me if I drank to much" and she'd made a joke about how she had indeed been planning to get me drunk and then take advantage of me. (Green light).
After drinking some water, I told her that I wasn't scared of her any more and told her to come sit next to me on the couch. I started
Jurassic Park II and went through the escalation steps for about twenty minutes before finally kissing her.
I banged her an hour later.
The point of this story is to demonstrate that if a girl is stand-offish in the beginning, it's just because she doesn't want to a victim of the famed foreign player she's heard so many stories about.
Give her some space (with situation kino, such as your hand on her back to direct her to a venue or around other pedestrians -- or ask to see her hands and comment on how cute they are), but hold off on heavy escalation, even if you do get her back to your place.
This just means that you need to extend the comfort building stage for a longer period of time (perhaps the whole first date) before transitioning in the seduction phase. Use this time to talk about how you hate one-night stands and are tired of girls just who aren't serious about life.
Talk about how you're trying to build a life in China and briefly list your accomplishments (securing a stable income, finding a reliable apartment and landlord) before mentioning that, even though you have lots of male and female friends already and DO NOT need any more friends, you think it's healthy to have a good woman in your life.
Also, use this extra time during the comfort building stage to screen for girls who are going to waste your time by mentioning that you don't think that men and women can really be friends and that there is always some attraction.
Tell her, "if you were 200kg, I wouldn't be here with you right now." Use this as an opportunity to talk about how fat American women are (definitely exaggerate as much as possible, but be sure to mention Walmart for cultural colour). This will make her laugh and giggle.
Offset this statement by also stating that although you try to date new women regularly, you aren't in a hurry (or more importantly, desperate).
Say, "we might have fun talking tonight and then never talk again. Or, we might enjoy ourselves and want to see more of each other in the future. I meet girls for a first date all the time, but if I'm not seriously interested, I won't waste her time with a second date. I'm looking for someone special, and I'm pretty busy with work, so I don't have time to play game. But if I like a girl, I'll definitely take her out a second time and get to know her more"
This will help convince her that you aren't just some playboy and also remind her that you have no time to be friend with women.
Wait until the vibe changes (even if you need to wait till the second date) and confirm that she is willing by escalating slowly and see if she pretends not to notice. If so, it's a green light and continue your escalation. You'll know if she isn't interested.
If you spend the first date just building comfort, don't worry.
Follow up with a second meeting about 5-7 days later and it's safe to bet that if she see you the second time, she's open to sex with.
DO NOT meet her publicly for the second date. Mention your interest in cooking during your first date and pre-seed about your favourite type of cuisine.
Screening For Time Wasters
For the second date, invite her to your place for dinner. You create plausible deniability for her and you get her where you want her...a private, seduction friendly location where you won't be disturbed.
If she balks at coming back to your place for dinner for the second date, then never speak to her again.
If she's at your place and acts weird and bitchy about even the most mild of escalation efforts and insists that she just wants to be friends, continue to escalate until she leaves and then you can have a peaceful evening to yourself. There's even a small chance that you might bang her.