[Sketness]

I've been talking to this girl via text and we've hung out one time ( in that time we fucked around but didn't have sex). I've texted her since and it seems to me that she wants to hang out but she has been busy. I was thinking that the alpha thing to do is to not text her until i seen her again ( which is likely in the next month at a house party) Or should i wait and text her when she comes back to town?

[Vicious]

You are making vague plans to see her a month out? Get her to meet for drinks or coffee as soon as possible.

[haywire]

Looks like you are one of the many dicks she has on rotation, so first of all, she should get the same treatment which means she shouldn't be the only one on your inventory list(which is anyway one of the primal foundations of game). I'm a little confused as to whether she's in town or out of town. If she's out of town, then it doesn't make much sense to banter over texts, unless she's the one who initiates it. If she has turned you down once and not suggested an alternate time, then you shouldn't text her again as you'd lower your value with each subsequent proposal. But if she seems interested, initiates texts but also acts a little reluctant, then you could become more aggressive in pursuing. There is a fine line between being needy and being aggressive, which can only be learned with time and experience.

As a side note, get rid of this whole "alpha beta gamma" thinking mentality, it's really the other end of the spectrum of the "needy desperate orbiter" mentality - both of the approaches don't work. Because when you start seeing things through the prism of whatever greek letter, often times what happens is that you put your common sense aside and start dropping pieces of cake by your very own hands. Trust me on this, I have been burned by this in my noob days. Rather, start acting like a true hustler who's only aim is to get shit done. Use your common sense and act accordingly.

[Sketness]

(12-26-2011 02:28 AM)haywire Wrote:  

Looks like you are one of the many dicks she has on rotation, so first of all, she should get the same treatment which means she shouldn't be the only one on your inventory list(which is anyway one of the primal foundations of game). I'm a little confused as to whether she's in town or out of town. If she's out of town, then it doesn't make much sense to banter over texts, unless she's the one who initiates it. If she has turned you down once and not suggested an alternate time, then you shouldn't text her again as you'd lower your value with each subsequent proposal. But if she seems interested, initiates texts but also acts a little reluctant, then you could become more aggressive in pursuing. There is a fine line between being needy and being aggressive, which can only be learned with time and experience.

As a side note, get rid of this whole "alpha beta gamma" thinking mentality, it's really the other end of the spectrum of the "needy desperate orbiter" mentality - both of the approaches don't work. Because when you start seeing things through the prism of whatever greek letter, often times what happens is that you put your common sense aside and start dropping pieces of cake by your very own hands. Trust me on this, I have been burned by this in my noob days. Rather, start acting like a true hustler who's only aim is to get shit done. Use your common sense and act accordingly.

im in college and everyone right now is one winter break so more than likley she will be in town in the next two weeks and school will start in the next three weeks. And a side note it seems like she is interested but she has only texted me once to come over to watch a "movie" I was thinking that i would play the aloof "i don't give a shit" game and see where that goes

[haywire]

(12-26-2011 02:51 AM)Sketness Wrote:  

im in college and everyone right now is one winter break so more than likley she will be in town in the next two weeks and school will start in the next three weeks. And a side note it seems like she is interested but she has only texted me once to come over to watch a "movie" I was thinking that i would play the aloof "i don't give a shit" game and see where that goes

Seems like you're overgaming here. If she has invited you, take the offer! What are you trying to achieve by playing the aloof game?

[Sketness]

(12-26-2011 03:52 AM)haywire Wrote:  

(12-26-2011 02:51 AM)Sketness Wrote:  

im in college and everyone right now is one winter break so more than likley she will be in town in the next two weeks and school will start in the next three weeks. And a side note it seems like she is interested but she has only texted me once to come over to watch a "movie" I was thinking that i would play the aloof "i don't give a shit" game and see where that goes

Seems like you're overgaming here. If she has invited you, take the offer! What are you trying to achieve by playing the aloof game?

she did invite me and we messed around my question was about if i should wait to contact her

[Enfant_Terrible]

Just invite her, don't think, make it short and keep it to logistics (time/place) and don't have long text conversations. If she doesn't respond or rejects the offer, fuck it move on and game on.

In response to your thread title...depends on the context, if you're day gaming you need to know how to talk someone's ear off by rambling and subtly dropping cool shit about you (called "dropping bait") at the same time.

If you're on a date inside a cozy, dimly-lit, and chill place... sometimes after awhile talking becomes redundant or boring. I've had chicks make out with me after having an intense, silent "stare off."

[Gmac]

Silence probably won't work in your situation. Unless a girl is already way into you, giving her the silent treatment (communication wise) is only going to do one of two things: 1) make it easier for her to forget about you, 2) make her think you're not interested. The sooner she has an opportunity to forget about you the sooner she will. You want to stay in her head.

For me, the best time for silence is in person, when a girl asks me an extremely serious or personal question. I'll just sit there and stare until she apologizes and moves on.

[Screwston]

(12-27-2011 08:08 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

For me, the best time for silence is in person, when a girl asks me an extremely serious or personal question. I'll just sit there and stare until she apologizes and moves on.

great move. I need to try this sometime.

[Sketness]

(12-27-2011 08:08 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

Silence probably won't work in your situation. Unless a girl is already way into you, giving her the silent treatment (communication wise) is only going to do one of two things: 1) make it easier for her to forget about you, 2) make her think you're not interested. The sooner she has an opportunity to forget about you the sooner she will. You want to stay in her head.

For me, the best time for silence is in person, when a girl asks me an extremely serious or personal question. I'll just sit there and stare until she apologizes and moves on.

So would you recommend that I stay in contact by sending little texts here and there just so that she doesn't forget me and also buying time until she's back in town from vacation and can hang out?

[Kickb]

Call her up and see what she's up to. If you feel good about the conversation, see if she wants to meet up when she gets back.

[Giovonny]

Silence works well in almost any situation.

It has its place in music, with well placed pauses. Silent pauses in conversation are important sometimes to make a point or let a concept "sink in". Sales people use silent pauses to let the potential buyer think about something. Comedians use silent pauses that are sometimes funnier then saying something.

And of course in Gaming. What works well for me is just not calling a girl at all. Lets say we have hung out a few times but not banged. I will just stop calling her. Usually a week or 2 goes by and then they contact me. They are always more eager to hang out and see me after I have ignored them for a while. I think its because I wasn't chasing and pursuing them. If I would have contacted them every week they would feel like I am not a challenge. I have learned to just have fun with them once or twice and then give them the silent treatment. It works well. If they come back, you got um. If they don't come back, you never had them anyways.

[aries569]

(01-02-2012 01:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Silence works well in almost any situation.

It has its place in music, with well placed pauses. Silent pauses in conversation are important sometimes to make a point or let a concept "sink in". Sales people use silent pauses to let the potential buyer think about something. Comedians use silent pauses that are sometimes funnier then saying something.

And of course in Gaming. What works well for me is just not calling a girl at all. Lets say we have hung out a few times but not banged. I will just stop calling her. Usually a week or 2 goes by and then they contact me. They are always more eager to hang out and see me after I have ignored them for a while. I think its because I wasn't chasing and pursuing them. If I would have contacted them every week they would feel like I am not a challenge. I have learned to just have fun with them once or twice and then give them the silent treatment. It works well. If they come back, you got um. If they don't come back, you never had them anyways.

This point is straight up gold. I remember back in school it made me so frustrated though. I was a mad player who got attention from pretty much every girl who I ever gave the time of day... except the girls I wanted. The sad part was that I didn't even know how money I was because I was too busy pedestalizing some pussy I never got.

Today it's the cornerstone of my game. You might say it's my signature move as well and ensures that the women I do spend time with treat me like a straight up PIMP.

Silence is golden in every aspect of game. I will say it's not for beginners though. Newbies should stick to grinding it out.

[Screwston]

You need to at least have a basic understanding of girls to use silence to your advantage. I can already see some newbie wannabe PUA losing pussy because he thinks its good game to not talk. I love when its obvious that a girl wants to say something but she's waiting for you to start up a convo.

[Giovonny]

It is better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln

[Deluge]

(01-25-2012 04:13 AM)houston Wrote:  

You need to at least have a basic understanding of girls to use silence to your advantage. I can already see some newbie wannabe PUA losing pussy because he thinks its good game to not talk. I love when its obvious that a girl wants to say something but she's waiting for you to start up a convo.

Silence is a useful tool when a girl shit tests you. Look them in the eye and keep your mouth shut for a moment. Then either drop your retort (agree & amplify for example) deadpan, or just ignore what she said and talk as if she never said it.

[Hazaer]

Hey guys, I am having problems with being silent/aloof in my current situation. There is this girl who I run into quite often because we stay in the same apartment building. Have been chatting with her after she gave out pretty obvious IOIs. But the last 1 or 2 times, I realized her attraction might be waning probably because I exhibited some 'beta' behaviour, smiling too much and being too eager etc. Have not gone out with her yet.

So, one time she was passing me by talking to someone on the phone. I gave her a greeting which she kind of snubbed. Later, she came back and said 'Hi' but I didnt really respond. The next day, she was trying to get my attention and get eye contact but I ignored her completely. The following day, she kind of waited for me after everyone left and said 'Hi, how are you?'. I just replied a brief 'Good' and left the scene.

So, would you guys think I should engage her the next time she initiates contact? What do you think she might be feeling now? I was thinking the next time I would ask her out and also get her number. Since we dont have a long history, I cant call her out for disrespect but I was trying to get back the frame to start out on a good footing.

I appreciate your opinions.

[Il Bersagliere]

delete.

[Stimulus]

She's interested. You've showed you're not needy. Next time propose drinks and get her number to set it up. Tell her, with a teasing grin, you'll even bring her home safely.

[Hazaer]

(01-07-2016 07:50 PM)Stimulus Wrote:  

She's interested. You've showed you're not needy. Next time propose drinks and get her number to set it up. Tell her, with a teasing grin, you'll even bring her home safely.

Happened to meet her today again. Gave her a brief 'Hi' with an intention to get a date if she engaged in convo. But she seemed busy with another guy, talking loudly, laughing and that kind of stuff. Didnt say a word to her after that. She left with him and came back again alone but I was just closed off. I can't believe she did this if she was interested. Prior to this, when we were still chatting, she always took pains to tell me she is not with any guys and now this happens. I am wondering if she is worth it..

What do you guys think?

[Stimulus]

My guess is you've taken it a bit too far the last time she tried to have a chat with you. You already kind of played 'aloof' the two days before that and now she might think you're not interested. She's propably wondering if YOU are worth it.

You guys live in the same building so it's not like you have to pull stunts for you two to cross paths, next time try to get a conversation going an proceed with your earlier plan.

[Taco Illusionist]

(01-09-2016 02:14 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(01-07-2016 07:50 PM)Stimulus Wrote:  

She's interested. You've showed you're not needy. Next time propose drinks and get her number to set it up. Tell her, with a teasing grin, you'll even bring her home safely.

Happened to meet her today again. Gave her a brief 'Hi' with an intention to get a date if she engaged in convo. But she seemed busy with another guy, talking loudly, laughing and that kind of stuff. Didnt say a word to her after that. She left with him and came back again alone but I was just closed off. I can't believe she did this if she was interested. Prior to this, when we were still chatting, she always took pains to tell me she is not with any guys and now this happens. I am wondering if she is worth it..

What do you guys think?

OK, it sounds like you are combining intention with expectation. It's very easy to do and sometimes I catch myself making this mistake.

It's good you have clear intentions, but you can never really plan out a scenario with a chick in your head, and have it go 100% the way you planned in reality.

Always have the intention to escalate but never have the expectation that something will occur. You cannot read a girls mind (probs a good thing) and sometimes her circumstances (or yours) will mean nothing will ever happen between you and her. This is OK because your abundance mentality will tell you there's plenty of other BETTER options just 'round the corner. Heck probably in the same building.

With this in mind, don't beat yourself up or get cut if things don't go how you thought they would. Always play it cool, keep an open mind and just go with the flow. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If you decide you still want to give this chick a go, the next time you see her, simply aim to get her number. If she's truly keen, she'll give you it and you can start chatting to her with more frequency and have more control over your interactions with her. Once she's more comfortable with you (you'll sense this in your convos) ask her out for something harmless like a coffee at a nearby cafe.

Take it one step at a time.

[262]

(01-07-2016 06:58 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Hey guys, I am having problems with being silent/aloof in my current situation. There is this girl who I run into quite often because we stay in the same apartment building. Have been chatting with her after she gave out pretty obvious IOIs. But the last 1 or 2 times, I realized her attraction might be waning probably because I exhibited some 'beta' behaviour, smiling too much and being too eager etc. Have not gone out with her yet.

So, one time she was passing me by talking to someone on the phone. I gave her a greeting which she kind of snubbed. Later, she came back and said 'Hi' but I didnt really respond. The next day, she was trying to get my attention and get eye contact but I ignored her completely. The following day, she kind of waited for me after everyone left and said 'Hi, how are you?'. I just replied a brief 'Good' and left the scene.

So, would you guys think I should engage her the next time she initiates contact? What do you think she might be feeling now? I was thinking the next time I would ask her out and also get her number. Since we dont have a long history, I cant call her out for disrespect but I was trying to get back the frame to start out on a good footing.

I appreciate your opinions.

Dude, are you still talking about the same girl? The same girl in all of these posts?

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[The Man w/ the Golden Gun]

(12-26-2011 02:51 AM)Sketness Wrote:  

it seems like she is interested but she has only texted me once to come over to watch a "movie" I was thinking that i would play the aloof "i don't give a shit" game and see where that goes

Ah man this happened to me too. There was this girl I partnered with at ballroom dancing who texted me to come watch a movie with her one night (despite my sucking at ballroom dancing). She had her friends tell me that she was hot for me. She was kinda cute, but I didn't think much of her then and ignored her text just like you did. Should have done it for the notch.

At some point in time we don't need to play games with girls. Once they display their interest and "ask us to come over for a movie," that tells us we're one step closer to scoring. Set up a time to meet and take it from there.

[Beyond Borders]

(12-25-2011 09:15 PM)Sketness Wrote:  

Does Silence ever work in Game?

Yes.