[lifecrisis]

Flashback 2018, i meet a girl, we chat a bit, we decide to hang out, we go on a date have fun, plan 2nd date. She comes over, we watch a movie and start making out. Dick rock hard throughout the whole thing. She takes off her clothes and i take off mine and my dick instantly falls down. It won't get back up. My first time ever having performance anxiety, i panic and don't know how to handle it, so i lose frame and act like a pussy resulting in losing this girl.

Fine... i learned from my mistake that it is in fact normal, and it does happen sometimes when you're nervous. Current state: No sex, dry spell since 2017, with the first girlfriend, also the girlfriend who took my virginity. Now fast forward 2 years to 2019.

Game improved a lot, frame improved, life quality improved. Meet cute girl, hit it off really well, literally share so much in common, fall for this girl. End up going on multiple dates. Date 3, she comes over, we cook food together, watch a movie and decide to have sex. This girl is literally amazing, most beautiful girl i've ever dated. Dick rock hard when she just smiles at me and even harder when we make out. We start foreplay, i finger her, go down on her, she pulls my pants down and my dick literally falls down 50%. She tries to give me a blowjob to save it, but it keeps going down. Fuck... it happened again. But this time i was a bit more prepared so i didn't panic or act stupid, but i could see she was quite disappointed. She definitely expected sex that night. I tell her it happened before and that we should try another time. Time passes and she gets busy with life forgetting about me. I hit her up and she seems to have lost interest. What a shame. Thinking this girl is the one, falling for the blue pill ideology that there is a one, lesson learned. AWALT.

I move on within 2 weeks and meet another girl. She's not quite as beautiful, i'd give her a 5-6/10 in the face but her body is amazing. It's an 8. This one seems more promiscuous and i decide to invite her over straight to my apartment for our first "date". This time i was prepared so i took 20 mg cialis. We cook, talk, and then we try to have sex. My dick seems to be working up until the moment i have to perform. No way, not again. Twice in 2 weeks. What's wrong with me? I decided to play it super cool and she doesn't seem to mind, she's experienced and happened to her a few times before she told me. This time not losing the girl i decide to just give her an orgasm, i went down on her and fingered her and she literally came 3 times. She's like wow where did you learn to do that? I've never come so easy before. We chill for a bit, my dick still not working and i tell her i have to get up early next morning so we say goodbye. She kisses me goodbye.

Im thinking, hmm i don't know if i lost this girl or not, it's 50/50, but to my surprise, she messages me saying she had a great time and we should do it again next week. I say sure. The first time we met i was a little bit nervous, but nothing crazy. Like my mind was relaxed and ready but my dick wasn't. So we met up again this weekend and had plenty of time. I thought, cool we can fuck all night long, but again my dick wouldn't get hard when i had to perform. I wasn't even nervous this time around, what is wrong with me. I had even taken cialis again, 20 mg. But nope, same shit again. I made her cum again a few times and we just chilled and she slept over. I told her i haven't had sex since 2017, might be why my dick isn't working. Not really nervous, but my dick is. She was very understanding. I told her, i understand if you don't want to chill again, you come over for sex and get nothing, it must suck. She told me it's literally fine and she enjoys my company, she's not just here for the sex. She told me we could try again next weekend, and im anxious as fuck if this happens a 3rd time. I would feel so fucking bad.

My test levels are above average, 862 ng/dl, i work out 5 times a week, eat healthy, often have boners in the morning, no stress, sleep 7-8 hours a day, no fap, no porn. So im thinking this problem must be psychological. I seriously need help and advice because if this happens for a 3rd time i highly doubt this girl will stick around any longer. Am i not getting hard because of the fact that this girl literally isn't turning me on? I've never done sex without feelings, might this be the reason why my body is acting like this? Could i be because im too much in my head above how quick i will bust a nut? Could it be that i feel guilty for having sex casually because of previous morals? Because of previously religious upbringing? What could it be?

[RDF]

It happens bro. I've been there plenty of times. Here's a few points of advice.

-- Girls don't really give a shit about this as much as you think. If she's a slut, I can almost guarantee that she has seen happen it before with other guys (women have told me this). If she's inexperienced, then obviously it doesn't matter because she has almost nobody to compare you to. This problem is not as uncommon as you may perceive. That may explain why you haven't lost the girls as you expected you would.

-- If/when it happens, just play it off cool. If you've been drinking, that's an easy excuse. Otherwise, just laugh it off and say "we'll try again in a bit" and just keep flirting/doing foreplay.

-- This is easier said than done, but don't think about your dick or about whether it is hard or not. Think about the hottie in your bed and how much you want to fuck her. Forget about finishing fast... that also doesn't matter as much as you think if you make the time count.

-- If you want to protect yourself even more, buy some horny goat weed and pop one or two earlier in the day. It is a fully natural supplement that you can buy at GNC or online, unlike Viagra/Cialis which are pharmaceuticals that work on your brain chemistry (not saying this is necessarily bad, but if you're a younger guy it may not be the best idea). Maybe it's just a placebo effect, though it has worked for me enough to where I rarely need to take it anymore.

In short, try as hard as you can to not be self-conscious about it. It is not a big deal unless you make it one.

[Cavorite]

Talk to a doctor. This could be an actual health problem.

[Windom Earle]

This is purely psychological. When you’re anxious (which you clearly are) your body goes into fight or flight, redirecting blood to your muscles - away from your dick.

You just need a little help from your friend, Cialis.

[Batman_]

You're almost supposed to feel anxiety when you have sex, it's a tense and exciting experience.

However I would suggest taking cialis so you can get over this hurdle. I've found that after I take it the first few times with a new girl, I no longer need it.

Quote:

Am i not getting hard because of the fact that this girl literally isn't turning me on?

I think this is definitely a possibility to consider. A lot of women are shit in bed.

[RatInTheWoods]

Its in the head, not a physical problem since you get boners before the sex performance part.

Super frustrating that even the dick pills don't work (try increasing the dose?)

Just hang in there, try to relax and get her to work on you with mouth and hands.

You may have to actually fall in love with the girl and get super comfortable with her to have sex.

[Pytonga]

Ok been there. I can feel your pain bro.
The only difference is that I am over 40.
Had a situation that even Viagra wont work.

The thing is that I've never lost it - I was cool about it and I was playing with girl with my fingers and my tongue - as long as you are cool and they have got orgasm they are happy (ok I am sure that after 3-4 meet they are loosing interest cause they need hard dick)

Hit the gym, change your diet and take some supplements (vitamins D and K) and goat weed or GINSENG - I am using Korean GINSENG MAX 3125mg Tablets - find good quality
and it is amazing.
Take it easy before bank limit alcohol intake - smoke light joint.

Try to fuck as soon as possible - I mean your dick is hard during foreplay - so cut it down (for a first time) - you can try to blindfold her (as a game) it can help if you have got performance anxiety - use lube/KY jelly to get inside asap.
All above for a first fuck - to get pressure off your chest, cause after first successful bang it is going to work.

[Lovinglife]

I had the same problem when I bang Westernised women when I was younger. I found out it was due to most westernised women displaying muscular characteristics in the bedroom. It was that bad, I had to take viagra when I banged most Westernised women. I haven't touched a Westernised woman in 10 years and only bang Eastern feminine women these days where I've never once had a problem with my dick not going hard! It doesn't matter how drunk I am, my dick would go hard as a rock due to her feminine energy!

I met this girl in Bangkok some years ago. She was half Thai and Half American whom grow up in both countries. She was nice and feminine at first until when it came to the bedroom where she started projecting all this muscular energy. Guess what happen to my dick!

I personally don't want anything to do with Westernise women these days and won't even talk to one unless I have too (too much Feminism's poison in their souls). Last month, there was this girl with the nicest ass and tits at the gym in BKK (from England). If anyone has been to the Muscle Factory in BKK they know about the quality I'm talking about. I was new to the area so I asked her some questions about the area. Afterwards, I was eating at the gym's cafe where she joined me at my table without asking. After talking to her for the next 10 minutes, my dick went to sleep! She had the normal western passive aggressive muscular characteristics. She was lonely and wanted some company but it did nothing to me downstairs even tho her tits and ass were 9/10, face about a 7.5.

I'm telling you this cause I thought I had a problem with my dick but it wasn't my fault! I believe this is why in the middle of the night you see ads targeting men with erection problems in Western countries today! The problem isn't men, it's women!

My dick will go hard if I near a 4 with feminine energy compare to a 8-10 with muscular energy, it would run away and go limp!

[roberto]

(04-02-2019 09:43 AM)Lovinglife Wrote:  

I had the same problem when I bang Westernised women when I was younger. I found out it was due to most westernised women displaying muscular characteristics in the bedroom. It was that bad, I had to take viagra when I banged most Westernised women. I haven't touched a Westernised woman in 10 years and only bang Eastern feminine women these days where I've never once had a problem with my dick not going hard! It doesn't matter how drunk I am, my dick would go hard as a rock due to her feminine energy!

I met this girl in Bangkok some years ago. She was half Thai and Half American whom grow up in both countries. She was nice and feminine at first until when it came to the bedroom where she started projecting all this muscular energy. Guess what happen to my dick!

I personally don't want anything to do with Westernise women these days and won't even talk to one unless I have too (too much Feminism's poison in their souls). Last month, there was this girl with the nicest ass and tits at the gym in BKK (from England). If anyone has been to the Muscle Factory in BKK they know about the quality I'm talking about. I was new to the area so I asked her some questions about the area. Afterwards, I was eating at the gym's cafe where she joined me at my table without asking. After talking to her for the next 10 minutes, my dick went to sleep! She had the normal western passive aggressive muscular characteristics. She was lonely and wanted some company but it did nothing to me downstairs even tho her tits and ass were 9/10, face about a 7.5.

I'm telling you this cause I thought I had a problem with my dick but it wasn't my fault! I believe this is why in the middle of the night you see ads targeting men with erection problems in Western countries today! The problem isn't men, it's women!

My dick will go hard if I near a 4 with feminine energy compare to a 8-10 with muscular energy, it would run away and go limp!

This guy gets it. Cavorite, on the other hand, is totally wrong based upon my experience and anaylsis of your situation.

I would-
Pop a pill to get over it. Try a normal strength viagra just to start with- climb the dose down as you get to know the girl. Get slightly drunk so you are a bit more chill. Spend some time with a girl you actually find attractive, cultivate a 'don't give a fuck' attitude and stay relaxed.

I've never been so hard before as I am with my current GF who despite being Western is sweet and submissive. It really, really makes a difference.

[Atomic Lush]

Did you read the other posts about dick pills on RVF? Did you use genuine Cialis? You took a very large dose, especially for a first time. You should have had obvious side effects. It might be counterfeit. If you read those threads you will be very well informed. Maybe try Viagra next time.

[casa-nostra]

I had much of ED and PE probems (PE killed my life)

My testosterone level is very high (naturally)

Now i am better in sex , I dont know what happened but it came by itself

but its not uncommun to have ED problems again with hot girls (i can have anxiety problems) , IS THE horny goat weed REALLY EFFICIENT ??

i never bought somthing from GNC that was really efficient to be honnest

[Arising]

(04-01-2019 05:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

My test levels are above average, 862 ng/dl, i work out 5 times a week, eat healthy, often have boners in the morning, no stress, sleep 7-8 hours a day, no fap, no porn. So im thinking this problem must be psychological. I seriously need help and advice because if this happens for a 3rd time i highly doubt this girl will stick around any longer. Am i not getting hard because of the fact that this girl literally isn't turning me on? I've never done sex without feelings, might this be the reason why my body is acting like this? Could i be because im too much in my head above how quick i will bust a nut? Could it be that i feel guilty for having sex casually because of previous morals? Because of previously religious upbringing? What could it be?

First post here, and I've experienced the same, so here's my 2¢.

I've had issues before, so I already had popped Cialis before a ONS, and to my surprise it didn't help AT ALL. Honestly I'm one of those guys that need to "know" the girl, and clearly I didn't know this one enough. She was a 5/10, and I wasn't really in the mood, but I thought she was kinda cute -- my dick didn't.

In this day and age I feel that guys have to demonstrate extreme willingness to fuck on the first date, otherwise you risk loosing the girl, happened to me before.

If the girl is sending clear IOI, you better act on it - or she'll move on to the next guy. It sucks, but what can you do, except accepting that your pool of women significantly decreases to the women that wants to take things slower.

Anyway, look into how you stimulate your libido. Viagra/Cialis doesn't do shit for hornyness, and you might wanna reseach other supplements for that. You can have high test, but have a very low 'hornyness'. Also, no fap (at least for me, is key).

Sounds like you did a good job with the last one, giving her some pleasure anyway. With my example I was just disappointed with myself and rolled over to get some sleep and naturally the chick ghosted me afterwards, even though I tried contacting her. Rookie mistake which burned for months after.

[lifecrisis]

(04-01-2019 11:13 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Just hang in there, try to relax and get her to work on you with mouth and hands.

You may have to actually fall in love with the girl and get super comfortable with her to have sex.

Spot on! I believe this to be true, which is very annoying. I ask myself, do i really need to have some kind of feelings for a girl before my dick gets hard for her. She's lying naked in my bed with a stunning body and my dick doesn't react well? I am not quite sure how common and normal this is though, none of my friends feel this way, or at least no one admits to it. I researched this and found something called "demisexuality.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p...Demisexual

It basically means unlike other people, you don't experience sex drive until you are closely bonded with a particular person. Not sure how correct this is, but could be something.

(04-02-2019 02:51 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  

The thing is that I've never lost it - I was cool about it and I was playing with girl with my fingers and my tongue - as long as you are cool and they have got orgasm they are happy (ok I am sure that after 3-4 meet they are loosing interest cause they need hard dick)

This is exactly the right way to do it. Eventually when i couldn't get it up with her the 2nd time i did this and she came a few times. Therefore didn't vanish and lose attraction, unlike the other 2 girls i made the mistake with earlier, where i'd just roll over to the side of the bed and call it a night. But you are right Pytonga... this is where it gets dangerous for me. I doubt i can keep up this act if i can't get it up 3rd or 4th time. It will be game over.

(04-02-2019 02:51 AM)Pytonga Wrote:  

Try to fuck as soon as possible - I mean your dick is hard during foreplay - so cut it down (for a first time) - you can try to blindfold her (as a game) it can help if you have got performance anxiety - use lube/KY jelly to get inside asap.
All above for a first fuck - to get pressure off your chest, cause after first successful bang it is going to work.

I will use this advice, i thought about it myself, i will skip the foreplay and act as soon as my dick is actually up. Last sentence is 100% good advice.

(04-02-2019 09:43 AM)Lovinglife Wrote:  

After talking to her for the next 10 minutes, my dick went to sleep! She had the normal western passive aggressive muscular characteristics. She was lonely and wanted some company but it did nothing to me downstairs even tho her tits and ass were 9/10, face about a 7.5.

My dick will go hard if I near a 4 with feminine energy compare to a 8-10 with muscular energy, it would run away and go limp!

I can second this. I feel you man.

[lifecrisis]

(04-03-2019 12:53 AM)Arising Wrote:  

(04-01-2019 05:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

My test levels are above average, 862 ng/dl, i work out 5 times a week, eat healthy, often have boners in the morning, no stress, sleep 7-8 hours a day, no fap, no porn. So im thinking this problem must be psychological. I seriously need help and advice because if this happens for a 3rd time i highly doubt this girl will stick around any longer. Am i not getting hard because of the fact that this girl literally isn't turning me on? I've never done sex without feelings, might this be the reason why my body is acting like this? Could i be because im too much in my head above how quick i will bust a nut? Could it be that i feel guilty for having sex casually because of previous morals? Because of previously religious upbringing? What could it be?

First post here, and I've experienced the same, so here's my 2¢.

I've had issues before, so I already had popped Cialis before a ONS, and to my surprise it didn't help AT ALL. Honestly I'm one of those guys that need to "know" the girl, and clearly I didn't know this one enough. She was a 5/10, and I wasn't really in the mood, but I thought she was kinda cute -- my dick didn't.

In this day and age I feel that guys have to demonstrate extreme willingness to fuck on the first date, otherwise you risk loosing the girl, happened to me before.

If the girl is sending clear IOI, you better act on it - or she'll move on to the next guy. It sucks, but what can you do, except accepting that your pool of women significantly decreases to the women that wants to take things slower.

Anyway, look into how you stimulate your libido. Viagra/Cialis doesn't do shit for hornyness, and you might wanna reseach other supplements for that. You can have high test, but have a very low 'hornyness'. Also, no fap (at least for me, is key).

Sounds like you did a good job with the last one, giving her some pleasure anyway. With my example I was just disappointed with myself and rolled over to get some sleep and naturally the chick ghosted me afterwards, even though I tried contacting her. Rookie mistake which burned for months after.

Wow i thought i was alone about this. it's 10 times easier and better for me once i know the girl better. i've always had PE when i went for a one night stand or first date sex.

You're also right about pressure being on sex quickly and if some girls don't get it early on they disqualify you from the dating pool.

About the libido you hit 100% truth again. My libido is so shit, i don't understand guys that get horny every day and want to bust a nut all the time. I do nofap and my testosterone is high, yet my libido is non existent? It's so weird. They say low testosterone = low libido. But in my case i just don't get horny that often. Maybe once a month. Im still trying to understand if this is normal or not. It's not that i dont like sex. In fact i think about sex a lot, who doesnt. But that 'hornyness' isn't there.

[whiteknightrises]

Definitely anxiety

Just pop a Cialis and you will be good for 24-36+ hours - once you do this a few times and get your brain used to not being worried about getting a boner, it won't be a problem anymore

I didn't read your whole post but based on the beginning, if you've only been with 1 girl, a little sexual anxiety isn't abnormal

Just like anything else: do it enough times and it'll be second nature/not a big deal

[Arising]

(04-03-2019 04:18 PM)whiteknightrises Wrote:  

Definitely anxiety

Just pop a Cialis and you will be good for 24-36+ hours - once you do this a few times and get your brain used to not being worried about getting a boner, it won't be a problem anymore

I didn't read your whole post but based on the beginning, if you've only been with 1 girl, a little sexual anxiety isn't abnormal

Just like anything else: do it enough times and it'll be second nature/not a big deal

OP already wrote he took 20mg Cialis with no effect, and this is a common misconception that Cialis/V almost always works. It doesn't.

For some people, if you're not horny and comfortable with the girl 'anxiety' will take over, and dick will be dead even with Cialis. I learned this the hard way.

Another girl I dated for a few months before having sex with her and dick was hard. YMMV.

[Greyman]

Happened to me as a younger man due to extreme shyness and lack of confidence, even tho I had what many would consider a 'alpha/hardcore' job that kept me in extremely good shape due to its requirements.

As an older man (40's)it happens every now and then because I broke my back and sometimes when I'm not streched out, stressed or a combination thereof my nerves just don't reach all the way down and around it would seem. Obvious plug to stay healthy and in shape, eat and sleep right yadayada..

But it'll get easier and mostly just find your path that makes you into a man YOU can respect, the confidence comes with it and will translate over to all other of lifes' aspects. Mostly just give yourself a do over/break; BUT keep at it...life's too short believe me to be hung up on what I believe is one of the greatest gifts we as humans evolved into being able to do. For most other mammals and primates etc. copulation is rather a trivial and quick affair...

Bottom line its happened to all men at some point, sometimes for a good amout of time, til you get your head right. I'd wager that for most men its mental.

[Batman_]

(04-02-2019 09:43 AM)Lovinglife Wrote:  

I had the same problem when I bang Westernised women when I was younger. I found out it was due to most westernised women displaying muscular characteristics in the bedroom. It was that bad, I had to take viagra when I banged most Westernised women. I haven't touched a Westernised woman in 10 years and only bang Eastern feminine women these days where I've never once had a problem with my dick not going hard! It doesn't matter how drunk I am, my dick would go hard as a rock due to her feminine energy!

I met this girl in Bangkok some years ago. She was half Thai and Half American whom grow up in both countries. She was nice and feminine at first until when it came to the bedroom where she started projecting all this muscular energy. Guess what happen to my dick!

I personally don't want anything to do with Westernise women these days and won't even talk to one unless I have too (too much Feminism's poison in their souls). Last month, there was this girl with the nicest ass and tits at the gym in BKK (from England). If anyone has been to the Muscle Factory in BKK they know about the quality I'm talking about. I was new to the area so I asked her some questions about the area. Afterwards, I was eating at the gym's cafe where she joined me at my table without asking. After talking to her for the next 10 minutes, my dick went to sleep! She had the normal western passive aggressive muscular characteristics. She was lonely and wanted some company but it did nothing to me downstairs even tho her tits and ass were 9/10, face about a 7.5.

I'm telling you this cause I thought I had a problem with my dick but it wasn't my fault! I believe this is why in the middle of the night you see ads targeting men with erection problems in Western countries today! The problem isn't men, it's women!

My dick will go hard if I near a 4 with feminine energy compare to a 8-10 with muscular energy, it would run away and go limp!

As someone who has only ever been with American women, this is not something that I can relate to, but I want to know more. Is there really that much of a difference? I have noticed this at least in fashion sense - many American women don't ever wear dresses, high heels, stockings (except the big sluts), unless its on very formal occassions (and even then it's usually pretty casual/comfort oriented). One girl I was seeing said she only owns 2 dresses and hasn't even worn them in years. This doesn't seem to be the case with women from Europe from what I've seen.

One of my buddys gf grew up in Russia and she would always show up looking really sexy and feminine (not slutty though), which is something that I've never seen before with any girl. On the other hand, one of my other friends gf is always dressed like a man (drab pants/shirts, sneakers, etc), coughs up loogies, literally nothing feminine about her, it makes me sick.

[Borges]

OP, did you wear a condom in those episodes? They can be very detrimental to my boners. You never mentioned it, so I assume you didn't, but it's something worth thinking about if you did wear one.

[lifecrisis]

(04-04-2019 12:30 PM)Super Average Man Wrote:  

OP, did you wear a condom in those episodes? They can be very detrimental to my boners. You never mentioned it, so I assume you didn't, but it's something worth thinking about if you did wear one.

Now that you mention it, whenever i try to put on a condom my boner instantly falls down. It's like the erection starts strong but as soon as i try to slide on the condom it gets soft and wiggly and the condom can't get on. Sounds weird, i know, but it's like that. Other times it won't get up at all, or very soft erection.

[Borges]

It's not that weird at all. I think it's relatively common. That has happened to me as well, which is why I go raw more often than I should (reprehensibly) and am very picky about the condoms I buy. I did eventually find brands that work for me, and got better at the whole condom ritual in a way that doesn't bother me as much, but it's still a pain. I don't feel anything with a condom on, and I hate the act of putting them on itself. It can really kill the mood for me.

Considering all the things you said, I think condoms could be the "nail in the coffin" for you. You are already the kind of person whose sexuality isn't an on/off switch like some guys', plus you're bothered by performance anxiety and past experiences. In that situation, condoms could definitely be making things worse.

So... it's not really commendable advice, but try going raw if you find a girl who's open to it. It's night and day for me.