[mikehere]

Hey guys, newbie here! I am in my early 30's and I haven't had a girlfriend in my life, at some point in my life , I became immersed in my job and the challenges of life that I forgot this very crucial part of life - dating women and just having fun! I find the idea of going on a date or just approaching a girl a bit scary and then anxiety creeps in, this has made me a bit depressed as I am all to myself and I find myself thinking about the kind of man I would be in the future, a boring guy with little or no memorable event in his life? would my future wife think of me as a boring person? Also I kind of became very rigid towards change and the times, I became a bit of a critic to the norms of modern society - music, reality tv shows etc, don't get me wrong I listen to urban music - rap/hiphop/pop BUT its mostly stuff from the mid 90's and early 2000's so this has also made it kind of difficult for me to assimilate with society as it is now! I am trying to change all this by making a conscious effort to be a little bit more lively and in tune with the times but sometimes I kind of feel a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin when I try to do these things, I believe it would take sometime but I would adjust eventually! I am not exactly sure were to begin or what routine to follow up but I have been reading BANG and taking some notes, I find the ideas a bit extreme but I am willing to give it a go, however if there are other routines or steps for newbies to begin with then I would love if other members (who were once like me) could offer their advise or some tips that could help. So that's me putting it all out there for you guys.

[kaotic]

Welcome to the forum and glad you're doing some reflection.

You mention you've never had a girlfriend, have you at least had sex? If so, how many girls have you been with?

Let's get a bit more of a background also:

-Height
-Weight
-Body Type
-Race
-Style
-Education
-Job (don't need to get super into detail)

Why were you so immersed in your job? Long hours? Project driven? etc

Why do you think going on a date or approaching is scary and gives you anxiety?

Keep in mind, many guys go through a boring life, however, you've found a forum that could flip this 180 !

Music/reality tvs whose/ etc don't mean shit when it comes to changing your life and women.

Don't let that be an excuse or a crutch of "assimilating into society".

You should like what you like, sure be open to other stuff if you want.

Finish reading Bang - start reading threads on the forum first, ask questions and post.


Another question, WHY do you finding some of the ideas in "BANG" extreme?

[mikehere]

@Kaotic thanks for replying, I would get back to you with as much info as possible.

[mikehere]

(02-26-2019 03:30 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Welcome to the forum and glad you're doing some reflection.

You mention you've never had a girlfriend, have you at least had sex? If so, how many girls have you been with?

Let's get a bit more of a background also:

-Height
-Weight
-Body Type
-Race
-Style
-Education
-Job (don't need to get super into detail)

Why were you so immersed in your job? Long hours? Project driven? etc

Why do you think going on a date or approaching is scary and gives you anxiety?

Keep in mind, many guys go through a boring life, however, you've found a forum that could flip this 180 !

Music/reality tvs whose/ etc don't mean shit when it comes to changing your life and women.

Don't let that be an excuse or a crutch of "assimilating into society".

You should like what you like, sure be open to other stuff if you want.

Finish reading Bang - start reading threads on the forum first, ask questions and post.


Another question, WHY do you finding some of the ideas in "BANG" extreme?

So to answer your question, yes I have had sex although its been a long while now since I have been disconnected from society and my manliness or should I say the "hunt for ladies" , about 7 years + so I am terribly rusty now lol

Height about - 5' 8
Weight - A little bit of both athletic and chubby lol
Style - Urban
Race - Biracial
Education - College
Job - an IT job

I would say I was project driven but not only that, wanted to also get out of the never ending money-chase so I was determined to get that and I neglected other parts of my lifestyle, precisely social life.

I guess the anxiety comes from being away from all this for a very long time and like what if the reaction I get is totally the opposite of what I was expecting? also like how do I just approach someone I like and make my intentions known? I really haven't done that before, I normally just become friends with a lady and then it happens but that takes a while and I really don't have friends - male or females (not that I am interested in males, just trying to give a clear picture)

As for BANG being extreme, I guess I used the wrong words, perhaps challenging would be a better choice of words, I find the flirting and talking up / showing interest upfront a bit challenging, lots of information there and I guess its up to me to take up the challenge but still.....

I would really appreciate some more suggestions, what threads would you suggest I start with? are there like slow pointers or tips for a guy like myself to follow and then gradually build my confidence and determination?

[whiteknightrises]

Are you a virgin then?

[mikehere]

No just totally hopeless with game (at least that's how I feel) I want to change my situation, I would really appreciate some suggestions on how a newbie can develop game (inner game, confidence, outer game) I am reading rooshv bang lots of great content there but it seems a bit advanced. Where would a newbie start from? What thread or posts do i read?

[jcrew247]

if you want to get married to a nice girl, you can hang out at a catholic church or whatever your religion is.

[kaotic]

(02-27-2019 04:57 PM)mikehere Wrote:  

(02-26-2019 03:30 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Welcome to the forum and glad you're doing some reflection.

You mention you've never had a girlfriend, have you at least had sex? If so, how many girls have you been with?

Let's get a bit more of a background also:

-Height
-Weight
-Body Type
-Race
-Style
-Education
-Job (don't need to get super into detail)

Why were you so immersed in your job? Long hours? Project driven? etc

Why do you think going on a date or approaching is scary and gives you anxiety?

Keep in mind, many guys go through a boring life, however, you've found a forum that could flip this 180 !

Music/reality tvs whose/ etc don't mean shit when it comes to changing your life and women.

Don't let that be an excuse or a crutch of "assimilating into society".

You should like what you like, sure be open to other stuff if you want.

Finish reading Bang - start reading threads on the forum first, ask questions and post.


Another question, WHY do you finding some of the ideas in "BANG" extreme?

So to answer your question, yes I have had sex although its been a long while now since I have been disconnected from society and my manliness or should I say the "hunt for ladies" , about 7 years + so I am terribly rusty now lol

Height about - 5' 8
Weight - A little bit of both athletic and chubby lol
Style - Urban
Race - Biracial
Education - College
Job - an IT job

I would say I was project driven but not only that, wanted to also get out of the never ending money-chase so I was determined to get that and I neglected other parts of my lifestyle, precisely social life.

I guess the anxiety comes from being away from all this for a very long time and like what if the reaction I get is totally the opposite of what I was expecting? also like how do I just approach someone I like and make my intentions known? I really haven't done that before, I normally just become friends with a lady and then it happens but that takes a while and I really don't have friends - male or females (not that I am interested in males, just trying to give a clear picture)

As for BANG being extreme, I guess I used the wrong words, perhaps challenging would be a better choice of words, I find the flirting and talking up / showing interest upfront a bit challenging, lots of information there and I guess its up to me to take up the challenge but still.....

I would really appreciate some more suggestions, what threads would you suggest I start with? are there like slow pointers or tips for a guy like myself to follow and then gradually build my confidence and determination?

Sorry dude been busy and haven't had time to reply but didn't forget!

So you haven't had sex in 7 years? What about dates or GF's?

It's okay to have anxiety, that's completely natural!

Let's start with you first - start with confidence/self love.

How are you athletic and chubby? Like skinny fat?

How's your diet? Are you working out?

You should definitely have both of those on lock - that boosts confidence immensely.

How's your family situation? Parents together? Siblings?


Lets move to socially:

Have you even tried to talk to women at all? Checked out any dating apps?

When was the last flirting interaction you've had with a girl?

Why don't you have many friends? What do you think are the reasons behind this?

Do you not have enough time? Are you anti-social, maybe you aren't socially cohesive?



Check out this inner game book called the Blue Print:

http://flirtisforum.ru/index.html?act=Att...ost&id=862

The private man has a great post about this:

https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011...-expanded/

Also Gio questions the existence of inner game and just doing the work:

thread-22360...#pid421232


Check out the approach thread, see how guys interact with women:

thread-14130.html


My dude Comte created a bad ass data sheet on social circle game:

thread-34576.html


Start using the search function to look up topics that are of interest to you:

google-search.html


This forum is absolute gold for a man like you- use it, read it, learn it, write about it, and ask !

[mikehere]

Thanks @kaotic would give those links a look later in the day.