[Kentemo]

Hey guys,

I've been seeing this girl before she lost interest in me over text (there's no way we can meet now, since we are living in 2 different countries and both busy. I am just curious what causes this flaking stuff). Edit: I was planning to go see her in April, since it's no big deal for me to move, and it's close, but rather go somewhere else now.

When we met there was a lot of interest, in January over text as well, a lot of video, photo shares etc... But in February it seems she doesn't want to talk anymore. She still replies out of niceness, but just very very short like ''how good'' and she sends me messages with ''have a nice day'' if I decide to ignore her for a while. Not sure what's her deal.

Got very bored talking to this girl, but want to know what happened (for improving texting skills). I replied the following (in Spanish):

''Hey, I want to know what changed between our text messages of January and February. Could you just tell me honestly. Because like this I don't want to talk to you anymore. With people I recently met I have more interesting text conversations. It's a real shame, but it is what it is. At least I might learn something out of it''.

Don't really care to much about this anymore, since it's very unlikely she'll change frame after this text. I'll guess the contrary.

Anyway, I guess I just want an explanation. My question is ''do you ask for explanations (to learn from and improve) to girls that flake or lose interest after a long time of interest?

[Black Caesar]

If you all live in different cities but maintain any kind of text contact (yes basic shit counts) then you should consider it a warm lead and hit her up to make plans when you're going to be in her city.

Instead you got in your feelings and blew yourself out with that word vomit text.

[Kentemo]

(02-22-2019 03:58 PM)Black Caesar Wrote:  

If you all live in different cities but maintain any kind of text contact (yes basic shit counts) then you should consider it a warm lead and hit her up to make plans when you're going to be in her city.

Instead you got in your feelings and blew yourself out with that word vomit text.

I guess you hit the nail on the head. Anyway, wasn't planning to go there anymore, so I'll see what she says. Just curious what causes this girl to lose interest. Upping my text game, and trying not to text other girls like a f*cking teenager like this one.

[RatInTheWoods]

(02-22-2019 03:43 PM)Kentemo Wrote:  

Anyway, I guess I just want an explanation. My question is ''do you ask for explanations (to learn from and improve) to girls that flake or lose interest after a long time of interest?

No man no.

Never do this, or ask girls why they don't love you anymore, or why they don't want to sleep with you.

You aren't going to get an honest answer, it weirds them out and lowers your value massively.

The second they lose interest, so do you. Thats the only thing that MAY re spark their interest.

I know you want to analyse, rationalise and logically talk her into attraction with your again, but women don't work like that.

[coffeedrinker]

I've been in that situation many times, where I've wanted to ask even though I know it just makes it worse. Just got to power through until it no longer bothers you.

Part of why you want to find out is that your ego got hurt. She started valuing you less than you value her. If you ask her why, it will be like RatInTheWoods says - it will lower your value further while raising hers, thus making it even more painful to deal with.

If girls were capable of giving honest answers, it would help identify areas of improvement but unfortunately, they can't.

[Geomann180]

The best thing to do with a flake is to move on and make it a habit of losing complete interest in girls who show a complete loss of interest in you.

You took your shot and missed. Take your ball and go home. You'll be back on the court another day.

G

[Black Caesar]

This girl probably likes you (initiating texts to keep in touch)

But if you're not in her city and don't have any plans to visit then literally what is the point for her to continue to talk a lot. It is just a waste of time for her.

[Azlan]

You became her girlfriend through all the texting back and forth. You put the final nail in the coffin with the last text. Nothing to do now but move on and forget about her. You want to know what you did wrong so you can learn from it?...well there's your lesson. The trick to this game is to be interested but distant.

And as another member mentioned, never ever ever ask a chick what you did wrong. As Rollo Tomassi says...apologizing for lack of game is not game.

[Kentemo]

(02-23-2019 04:34 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  

This girl probably likes you (initiating texts to keep in touch)

But if you're not in her city and don't have any plans to visit then literally what is the point for her to continue to talk a lot. It is just a waste of time for her.

I guess your answers keep on making the most sense.
I am not sure yet if I go there or not, and yes seems like she likes me.

She answered honestly:
Apparently she cared a bit too much when I mentioned I was going to visit my ex (big big mistake, but I just told casually, and I just see her as a friend, haven't seen her in 3 years).

Seems like it's a bit fixed.
And apparently she cared a lot, which makes me think she still likes me. Her emotional reaction was just not talking to me and stop caring.

I don't really believe I should just ignore or move on. Nothing to win by that. I guess every situation is different, and if yo already have some trust etc.. you can just honestly ask. I believe her 100% since it does make a lot of sense. Stupid me