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Ramble help
02-11-2019, 12:13 PM
I have approached girls and started conversations but cant seem to make the connection happen. After leaving the conversation I always thing, oh I should have said X or Y but in the moment my mind draws blanks. Hindsight is always 20/20.
I know the best thing i can do is to keep at it but do you guys know anything that might springboard my efforts. Some way I could practice.
I also tried the, watch a sitcom, idea but again still does not help for the heat of the moment.
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Ramble help
02-12-2019, 06:15 PM
Just talk to literally everyone.
You know those ridiculously chatty people that you meet sometimes that literally say something to every single person they see?
Yeah just be that guy for a bit.
Also you want to bait her into the hook point so that you can keep pushing from there. So drop some bait that makes her ask about you ("oh I just moved here, just got a new job, just got back from a trip etc etc)
Then when she asks you can make her guess a bit then go into some descriptive stack.
"Yeah I really like that first few months in a new place where you dont know anyone and it all seems like some huge adventure full of opportunity"
You want to have a general idea of the convo steps and topics in your head when you start out and then later you can go freestyle.
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Ramble help
02-12-2019, 09:14 PM
In addition to doing approaches. I think ill do is join a group like toastmasters and take an improv class to force my way to better conversations.
I also think at a very deep subconscious level I am afraid of making new friends. There are a few bad memories, and some self rejection issues in the past. The thought me being a crowed room doing sales pitches seems normal me. The thought me be in a crowed room trying to sell myself as a friend is frightening.
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Ramble help
02-12-2019, 09:23 PM
You might just start talking to people about whatever crosses your mind, especially at bars, try to like weave a coherent conversation after you get started. Obviously don't say anything that's going to get you in a fight.
Also, limit your screentime... After a while you'll feel a need to be social because you're no longer getting the internet validation, etc.
You can also call up friends and talk to them for an hour. Take note of how the conversation usually flows pretty easily.
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Ramble help
02-13-2019, 12:48 PM
The #1 problem with rambling is going into interview mode and just asking boring questions:
"What are you up to? Oh, cool"
"What do you do? Oh, cool"
"Do you like X? Oh, cool."
The lazy advice: make more comments/assumptions and ask less questions. If you want an actual exercise to do, do a few approaches and make it a strict rule not to ask ANY questions at all. Make a game out of it - see how long you can go.
If you feel the urge to ask an interview question, form it as an assumption instead.
"What do you do?" becomes "You look like you work in fashion." "What are you up to?" becomes "You look like your on your way to the gym." etc.
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Ramble help
02-13-2019, 01:25 PM
I like that idea. I'm going to try it.
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Ramble help
02-13-2019, 06:55 PM
It helps to be an interesting person then just talk about fun shit you've done. Everyone wants to hear about a killer weekend in Vegas or Colombia or etc.
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Ramble help
02-18-2019, 06:54 PM
Good advice man, I'm going to do this too.