Quote:fmman Wrote:
I might have do that as annoying as it may be.
False. You've already identified at least 3 pre-selection indicators.
1. She suggested sharing a hotel room alone with you.
2. She asked you what type of girl you like.
3. She is crossing the ocean to spend at least some of her precious foreign country Eat Pray Love vacation time with you.
From the information you have provided, it sounds like the only way that that is going to happen is if you choose to let it and/or maybe if your game is off.
*Pro Tip: Escalate gradually and tactfully (meaning don't just suddenly grab one of here tits on the bus) but remember, a man who escalates too quickly can be forgiven and then continue from where he left off at a later point whereas a man who escalates too slowly or not at all will never secure intimacy.
Quote: (01-24-2019 02:24 PM)fmman Wrote:
Well I agreed to it all as friends so I will commit to that and I don't think I should escalate it to full on you are coming over for sex or not at all, or whatever because that would be awkward considering she has booked it all and paid.
Escalating does not mean giving the game away and directly saying "you sex me or no come here." It's a gradual and subtle multi-step process. There is a verbal as well as a
physical component to it. Rushing smells of desperation and women like the buildup anyway. Foreplay begins at first contact, even if first contact only consists of a greeting and exchange of pleasantries. From first contact to finish, the steps in the process and the order in which they are to be completed are the same in every scenario. The only thing that really varies is how quickly you move through each of them.
Quote:fmman Wrote:
...she was asking me what I look for in a woman!
This is a clear IOI (Indicator of Interest). Females don't care about what you want unless they think that what you want might be them.
Quote:fmman Wrote:
Last year I had some big changes in my life without giving away too much detail. I moved country and my current living or work situation is not good, nor settled. I have been too busy worrying about all that than to go out and game or online game and there are not many social situations presenting themselves to me now.
Don't waste your time and energy worrying about all the other opportunities that are not throwing themselves at you right now. Engage the opportunity that is already in front of you.
Quote:fmman Wrote:
I do have a sort of gf but we argue a lot and I can't see any future in it but she keeps on calling no idea why lol. I can't even be bothered to go drive over and shag her lol.
Doesn't sound like you have a gf. Sounds like you have a distant female who isn't doing for you what a gf does and is just waiting for one of the other guys she is communicating with to take her from you.
Quote:fmman Wrote:
I'm not taking this USA girl too seriously either because I think on a socia-political level we are incompatible. I've had to bite my lip so many times. But hey opposites attract in some ways. You don't have to support the same side to shag. Shes a welcome distraction in the rest of my lifes current problems
You don't have to marry her dude. She's American so I would recommend against that anyway. Just bang her and move on. If she wants to bang again afterward, cool. If not, whatever because you already got it at least once. It's not like you guys are going to see each other every day or hang out with the same people, yes?
Quote: (01-23-2019 04:00 PM)fmman Wrote:
Quote: (01-23-2019 03:24 PM)Super Average Man Wrote:
Have a couple of drinks with her and make a move. It sounds like you're in a pretty good spot.
Cheers, only trouble is she doesn't drink! I really hate being stuck in the friendzone how do I get taken out of it from the outset? I know nothing about dating south east asian women too.
She's not a SEA (Southeast Asian) girl. She's an American girl. Engage accordingly and stop psyching yourself out.
Girls don't put you in the friend zone. You put yourself there by either not escalating quickly enough (verbally and physically) or not escalating at all. Females wait for males to make the first move. If you don't do that, she has to move on and find another guy who will because making the first move is for women what being a non-working "stay at home dad" is for men: an embarrassing, uncomfortable, and very un-sexy reversal of natural roles in which both parties come out as losers.
*Side Note: The fact that you are afraid of losing her friendship suggests that you don't have enough genuine male friendship in your life. I recommend addressing that problem post haste. Also, you mention biting your tongue and all that when you talk to her. I'm getting the impression that this is someone you would not be friends with if you did not want to bend her over a coffee table. That's not a bad thing, it's just my assessment. Once you acknowledge to yourself that your primary interest in this female is carnal, everything else becomes simpler and easier.