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Losing Friends To Their Girlfriends/Wives
01-21-2019, 02:26 PM
Quote: (01-20-2019 01:30 PM)monsquid Wrote:
In my early 30s, all my friends who have SO have disappeared off the face of the earth. Few friends that I have helped out significantly at the drop of a hat have failed to respond to queries for advice or respond way too late.
For example I was evaluating job offers and needed my friend's perspective. He has experience in that sector but he didn't respond at all. I emailed and txted, so there was no way he "wouldn't have seen it." Few months later he asks me how the job offer went, and I'm speechless. I wanted to confront him but just let it pass. Then he asks me to help review his grad school application essays. I said I would take a look but he keeps texting me everyday demanding the status. I gave him a half ass response. It's not a one way street.
I was in a similar situation.
You're nice about it. I just ignored his messages. The last time I saw him he didn't mention it because he did the same with me prior.
Don't get mad over it but don't bend.
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Losing Friends To Their Girlfriends/Wives
01-21-2019, 04:12 PM
I say drop him and any other friends like that. Ignore his messages, calls. People who do not respect your time/effort do not deserve the respect no matter how long you have known them, how fondly you look back at the shared experiences.
While I can understand that your new relationship/wife will take up a good amount of your, putting your friends on ignore or reaching out to them for selfish reasons gets really old, quickly.
I still have my core crew, who manage to come out and meet up despite marriages, relationships, school, work and children. Which is why I no longer rely on these low value former friends.
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Losing Friends To Their Girlfriends/Wives
01-24-2019, 01:58 AM
You have to become comfortable with losing friends and being lonely once in a while. Nothing lasts forever. Just appreciate the time you spent with them and mentally compartmentalize them into "the past."
Focus on self improving so much that "the past" is a period you'd rather not remember, because you are so much more balanced and successful right now.
I've had a few experiences like Nomadbrah is referring to and while it was hard the first couple of times, as I got older I was able to just accept that the friendships had come to their conclusion and it was time for us to go our separate ways.