[WalterBlack]

Ohio dad makes girl walk miles to school for bullying on bus

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Quote:

An Ohio father who made his daughter walk five miles (8km) to school as punishment for bullying has provoked a debate on parenting.

After 10-year-old Kirsten was suspended for three days from the school bus for a second-time bullying offence, Matt Cox decided to teach her a life lesson.

He made her trudge to school on a cold day while he followed behind in a car.

The video of the father's punishment has garnered over 15m views on Facebook and thousands of comments.

In the viral clip, Mr Cox's daughter is seen walking alongside a road, carrying a backpack and school supplies, in 2C (36F) temperatures.

Mr Cox follows behind her in his car in the town of Swanton, offering commentary on entitlement and bullying.

"Bullying is unacceptable," he said. "This is my small way of trying to stop it in my household."

Mr Cox added that many children feel entitled to privileges like being taken to school in the morning by car or bus.

"I know a lot of you parents are not going to agree with this and that's alright," he says.

"I am doing what I feel is right to teach my daughter a lesson and to stop her from bullying."

In a Facebook update shared on Wednesday, Mr Cox said his daughter had taken his words to heart.

According to WTVG News, Mr Cox broke up Kirsten's walk over her three-day school bus suspension this week.

The 10-year-old told WTVG she herself had been bullied and now knows to be kind.

Many of the 63,000 comments that have since popped up on his video have been positive, with parents of bullies and bullied alike thanking Mr Cox for his parenting.

"As the grandparent of an autistic boy who has been the victim of neighbourhood bullies, I applaud you! Too many parents do nothing," read one reply.

Read another: "Wish more parents took the time to hold their children accountable for unacceptable behaviour."

However, others pointed out that by shaming her with the punishment video, the girl was arguably being bullied by her father.

"Humiliate her by putting her on Facebook being punished. Irony," one user commented.

"Ok but wait, is she bullying other kids or did you stop to hear her explanation?" said another.

"Was she reacting to being bullied and just got caught? If public shaming is your idea of punishment no wonder she's acting out."

Prof Dorothy Espelage of the University of Florida, a psychology researcher and expert on youth bullying, told the BBC it is far more common for parents of bullies to not admit their child is in the wrong.

"So in some ways, this father is doing the right thing of admitting and accepting his daughter's behaviour," she said.

Prof Espelage says that children are less likely to act out if behaviours have consequences, but she would suggest a different approach than walking in the cold.

"I, like many of the folks who commented on the video, would like to know more about the bullying, the origins."

"There has to be ongoing conversations about bullying and the impact it has," Prof Espelage added.

"This type of punishment is short-term and will not address the culture in the school or on the bus that is lending itself to bullying."

Mr Cox told News 5 Cleveland that he had shown Kirsten and his two other children the video and people's comments on it.

They "seem to show a great deal of empathy towards some of the sad stories that I read with them," Mr Cox said.

He added that he hoped parents would "start holding their kids accountable".

Quote:

What our readers think

We asked BBC readers to tell us what they thought of Mr Cox's parenting strategy.

Here's what they had to say:

"I admire this father for his action. It's not just the bullying he is addressing, it's the fact that kids nowadays think they are being owed privileges." - Claudia Grotkamp

"Awful. Any parent that betrays their child's privacy so they can get their moment of fame and pat on the back is appalling. This isn't about his daughter, it's about getting people to say how good a parent he is. Poor girl." - Lucy Wardle

"It's good to see that some parents still control their children instead of the other way round." - Jenny Heffernon

"Some people may think that this punishment of a bully is hypocritical, as it seems like bullying itself. The hypocrisy lies with those who would let bullies go unpunished when a dose of their own medicine is the very best cure." - D West

"Good measure! My son was bullied too. Too many parents cop out and blame their school for not bringing up their children right." - Rasmus Langaard

What do you guys think of this? I think the father is attention seeking piece of shit.

[Meliorare93]

Good punishment no need to share on social media though so your thoughts are correct...

[The Catalyst]

I don't know about this specific case. However I do know in a lot of cases like this, the parent/s is/are abusive and very good at hiding it. The kid is not.

Chances are relatively high she learned the bullying from somewhere. And being vindictive like that is a huge clue. (Sure, in a vacuum, the kid deserved it- but I'm looking at it holistically, the bigger picture. All these single possible instances add up- and don't paint a pretty picture)

[wi30]

Didn't read but it sounds like he got his fill of juicy likes on soycial media.

I'm at the point where I think less of a man who actively participates on Facebook and Instagram.

[Mage]

Making her walk is a good old school strict parenting, but making this thing public is evil, because that can haunt her even after she has repented.

[Nonpareil]

Suspended twice for bullying - One time could be chalked up to a misunderstanding, but two is the start of a pattern.

Kids need things that many parents aren't willing or just don't know how to give them; rules, discipline and a positive example.

The world has rules and will discipline you when you break them, and as for the example...well, can you blame the way many kids, especially boys, turn out when the modern 'functional family' is mommy the dictator and daddy the ATM?

It's tons easier to be your kid's best friend than be a parent, and most people like things easy.

Though there must be an echo in the building because I agree with the punishment but putting it on Facebook is something I'd expect a woman to do.

[Syberpunk]

Quote:

Mr Cox follows behind her in his car in the town of Swanton, offering commentary on entitlement and bullying.

I laughed hard at this.

[Leonard D Neubache]

This is what happens when you care more about virtue signalling than you care about your own child.

I would sooner violently beat my child privately than non-violently humiliate them publicly (obviously I would prefer to do neither).

As an aside this dipshit knows nothing about women or girls. The daughter is going to take the hate this process instills in her and hone her bullycraft to a razor edge where outsiders don't notice but the target is destroyed utterly. I don't have daughters but if I did and one of them was being a proper cunt then I would send her to a new school for a term and tell her she's allowed to go back to the old one where her friends are if she promises to be a good girl.

Girls have short memories but if you fuck with their social circles they fall into line pretty quickly.

[VincentVinturi]

Pfft, big deal.

Growing up in Northeast Philly I walked to school everyday an hour each way and I loved every minute of it. How is that a punishment? You get to run around and jump on stuff and climb stuff and talk to yourself, and play with imaginary ninjas and do all the cool stuff kids do.

As for this punishment, I'm of the opinion that you should let kids sort out their own social hierarchy issues. Boys need to whoop each other's asses from time to time. Girls need to tease each other into eating disorders and crack each other too from time.

The father really has only a second-hand idea of the context of his daughter's "bullying". Funny thing is he probably really thinks he's doing the "right thing".

[Parzival]

I didn't know that people in the USA walk. Seems like a harsh punishment when your kid has to walk!

When your kid is a bully you need so find the reasons why it is like that, mostly its something inside the own family that make the kid act like that. Also certain kids are picked as be bullied because of their own behaviour.
Make everything go viral is the cancer of our times. I'm glad that I did grow up in times where not every stupid action as a teen went online direct. Guess after the first time some talk should be the better solution, dig deeper after the second time. A sad thing when the hunt for likes or just the urge to share everything online is so strong that you are not able of the negative side effects. Guess that's some issue that plays a role in the behaviour of the daughter as well.

[HornyRamone]

(12-07-2018 05:05 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

Pfft, big deal.

Growing up in Northeast Philly I walked to school everyday an hour each way and I loved every minute of it. How is that a punishment? You get to run around and jump on stuff and climb stuff and talk to yourself, and play with imaginary ninjas and do all the cool stuff kids do.

As for this punishment, I'm of the opinion that you should let kids sort out their own social hierarchy issues. Boys need to whoop each other's asses from time to time. Girls need to tease each other into eating disorders and crack each other too from time.

The father really has only a second-hand idea of the context of his daughter's "bullying". Funny thing is he probably really thinks he's doing the "right thing".

Telling kids not to "bully" each other is like defanging a cobra. In this instance the father should have gotten her side of the story. She could have been defending herself from a real bully or having fun talking shit amongst friends that was misinterpreted by the school. There would be red flags if the girl was lying about being a genuine vicious bitch to an undeserving peer. Regardless, forcing your kid to not talk shit in ALL situations with their peers leaves them vulnerable to attack.

[VincentVinturi]

^^^
Indeed.

I remember growing up I was both a bully and bullied, sometimes in the same day. And look, now I'm an RVF member. Proof is in the pudding

[No More Mr. Soy Boy]

Reminds me of this other guy who used a gun on his daughter's laptop.

Now imagine if a guy posted a video on social media destroying his wife's iPhone or not driving her all the way to the manicure treatment studio as a way of disciplining her for acting like a mouthy bitch. That would not generate many likes and positive response on social media even though it would have been just as equally valid punishment.

And that's exactly why you will never see these dads post a video like that disciplining their wives because it's not socially acceptable to do so with grown up kids (aka women), but with young kids you can get likes, attention and proud yourself to others on what a good responsible dad you are.

These dads knows this and that's why they're the real bullies.

[TigerMandingo]

I'd like to think the reason he made this public is to give other parents an idea of how to dole out good punishment. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and this is definitely a step in the right direction. Way too many weak fathers out there pampering their cunty daughters.

[Ocelot]

(12-07-2018 06:53 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

^^^
Indeed.

I remember growing up I was both a bully and bullied, sometimes in the same day. And look, now I'm an RVF member. Proof is in the pudding

Bullying is essential, to teach children that the weak should fear the strong.

[Richard Turpin]

Yeah, this is bullshit and virtue-signalling wrapped up as educational punishment. I'm fully behind getting your kids in line, but this should be done out of the spotlight; it's no business of anyone else. Putting shit like this on social media instantly nullifies any good the father thought he was doing.

Most importantly though, doing this to his own daughter, in such a manner puts 'non-family' before family, which is disgusting. If my kids were bullies, I'd admonish them, but no way would I go against them publicly. It's united front/us against the world or nothing, otherwise what's the point.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(12-07-2018 05:05 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

Pfft, big deal.

Growing up in Northeast Philly I walked to school everyday an hour each way and I loved every minute of it. How is that a punishment? You get to run around and jump on stuff and climb stuff and talk to yourself, and play with imaginary ninjas and do all the cool stuff kids do.

As for this punishment, I'm of the opinion that you should let kids sort out their own social hierarchy issues. Boys need to whoop each other's asses from time to time. Girls need to tease each other into eating disorders and crack each other too from time.

The father really has only a second-hand idea of the context of his daughter's "bullying". Funny thing is he probably really thinks he's doing the "right thing".

Kids were never meant to be warehoused together to "sort out their own social hierarchy." That's unnatural. We take it to be natural because that's what we were taught and we know no other way.

Kids were meant to be raised by parents in an apprentice or agrarian-type society. It was only around the time of the Industrial Revolution that the government mandated that kids be pulled out of their families and warehoused for the purpose of social conditioning -- which was given the flimsy pretext of "education."

When you warehouse kids and have them sort out their own hierarchy, what you get is school shooters seeking revenge. That's in the short term.

In the long term, you get a dumbed-down society in which the stupid rule over the intelligent. Over the past 100 years, IQs have been dropping and music and books have been reduced to mind-numbing simplicity.

Ever go to Walmart? Ever see the fat, stupid slobs riding in scooters? Well, they have fat, stupid kids. And those kids are beating up your kids without remorse. (intelligence and empathy are correlated).

This isn't the way to create hierarchy. This is the way to create a Living Hell. Which is what we have now. Our Fast Food/Walmart culture is a disgrace, and most of it can be traced back to our "schools," which do just about everything but teach.

[heavy]

(12-07-2018 08:18 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

...
Kids were never meant to be warehoused together to "sort out their own social hierarchy." That's unnatural. We take it to be natural because that's what we were taught and we know no other way.

Kids were meant to be raised by parents in an apprentice or agrarian-type society. It was only around the time of the Industrial Revolution that the government mandated that kids be pulled out of their families and warehoused for the purpose of social conditioning -- which was given the flimsy pretext of "education."

When you warehouse kids and have them sort out their own hierarchy, what you get is school shooters seeking revenge. That's in the short term.

In the long term, you get a dumbed-down society in which the stupid rule over the intelligent. Over the past 100 years, IQs have been dropping and music and books have been reduced to mind-numbing simplicity.

Ever go to Walmart? Ever see the fat, stupid slobs riding in scooters? Well, they have fat, stupid kids. And those kids are beating up your kids without remorse. (intelligence and empathy are correlated).

This isn't the way to create hierarchy. This is the way to create a Living Hell. Which is what we have now. Our Fast Food/Walmart culture is a disgrace, and most of it can be traced back to our "schools," which do just about everything but teach.

Exactly. Reminds me of my homeschooling post a while back. The school system thinks it can replace parents. I suppose it can and has in many cases as you've described...it just does it in a really shitty, systemic non-parental sort of way.

Of the father in the OP, he's an attention whoring piece of shit.

[eljeffster]

Praise in public, criticize in private.

Works on kids, spouse, employees.

[Richard Turpin]

(12-07-2018 08:27 AM)heavy Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:18 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

...
Kids were never meant to be warehoused together to "sort out their own social hierarchy." That's unnatural. We take it to be natural because that's what we were taught and we know no other way.

Kids were meant to be raised by parents in an apprentice or agrarian-type society. It was only around the time of the Industrial Revolution that the government mandated that kids be pulled out of their families and warehoused for the purpose of social conditioning -- which was given the flimsy pretext of "education."

When you warehouse kids and have them sort out their own hierarchy, what you get is school shooters seeking revenge. That's in the short term.

In the long term, you get a dumbed-down society in which the stupid rule over the intelligent. Over the past 100 years, IQs have been dropping and music and books have been reduced to mind-numbing simplicity.

Ever go to Walmart? Ever see the fat, stupid slobs riding in scooters? Well, they have fat, stupid kids. And those kids are beating up your kids without remorse. (intelligence and empathy are correlated).

This isn't the way to create hierarchy. This is the way to create a Living Hell. Which is what we have now. Our Fast Food/Walmart culture is a disgrace, and most of it can be traced back to our "schools," which do just about everything but teach.

Exactly. Reminds me of my homeschooling post a while back. The school system thinks it can replace parents. I suppose it can and has in many cases as you've described...it just does it in a really shitty, systemic non-parental sort of way.

Of the father in the OP, he's an attention whoring piece of shit.

Absolutely, both of you. People turn their noses up at homeschooling, treating it like some kind of 'experiment', when in reality, putting your kids in state school is the real experiment!

Nowadays, you can't even take your own kids out of school for a day to take them on holiday without getting threatening letters from the government.

Is it too much to ask for us to go back to the days where kids grew up in a loving family and the boys learnt their trade and followed Dad into his work, and the girls learnt cooking/cleaning/housekeeping from the Mother? Obviously, I know those days are gone never to return but I still find it shocking having to admit that. How far the natural order has been usurped.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(12-07-2018 08:44 AM)Richard Turpin Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:27 AM)heavy Wrote:  

(12-07-2018 08:18 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

...
Kids were never meant to be warehoused together to "sort out their own social hierarchy." That's unnatural. We take it to be natural because that's what we were taught and we know no other way.

Kids were meant to be raised by parents in an apprentice or agrarian-type society. It was only around the time of the Industrial Revolution that the government mandated that kids be pulled out of their families and warehoused for the purpose of social conditioning -- which was given the flimsy pretext of "education."

When you warehouse kids and have them sort out their own hierarchy, what you get is school shooters seeking revenge. That's in the short term.

In the long term, you get a dumbed-down society in which the stupid rule over the intelligent. Over the past 100 years, IQs have been dropping and music and books have been reduced to mind-numbing simplicity.

Ever go to Walmart? Ever see the fat, stupid slobs riding in scooters? Well, they have fat, stupid kids. And those kids are beating up your kids without remorse. (intelligence and empathy are correlated).

This isn't the way to create hierarchy. This is the way to create a Living Hell. Which is what we have now. Our Fast Food/Walmart culture is a disgrace, and most of it can be traced back to our "schools," which do just about everything but teach.

Exactly. Reminds me of my homeschooling post a while back. The school system thinks it can replace parents. I suppose it can and has in many cases as you've described...it just does it in a really shitty, systemic non-parental sort of way.

Of the father in the OP, he's an attention whoring piece of shit.

Absolutely, both of you. People turn their noses up at homeschooling, treating it like some kind of 'experiment', when in reality, putting your kids in state school is the real experiment!

Nowadays, you can't even take your own kids out of school for a day to take them on holiday without getting threatening letters from the government.

Is it too much to ask for us to go back to the days where kids grew up in a loving family and the boys learnt their trade and followed Dad into his work, and the girls learnt cooking/cleaning/housekeeping from the Mother? Obviously, I know those days are gone never to return but I still find it shocking having to admit that. How far the natural order has been usurped.

I used to look down on homeschooling. I used to think the people who did it were paranoid or religious fanatics.

But that was when I grew up, which was in the "Ferris Bueller" era. That's no longer the kind of society we live in. We now live in "Idocracy," or maybe even something worse.

The society has grown so dysfunctional that when it comes to this thread, no one has even stopped to think "Since when do GIRLS bully?" What the hell is going on? It's bad enough they're bullying other girls, but someday, someone's son is going to marry this girls or girls like her, and that's when the real disaster hits.

[Horus]

Making your child walk to school while you trail her in a car is a fine punishment and I've got no problem with it. When you put it on Facebook for the world to see, it's no longer about the punishment but about wanting yourself to look good as a parent, regardless of the impact of your child.

It's like bitches who volunteer in Africa to save the children and then share photos it on Facebook. It's clearly not about helping children, it's about showing the world what virtuous people they are.

I hope there eventually comes a time when he realises his daughter is due an apology. Fuck him and his virtue signaling womanly behaviour.

[Aurini]

Whenever I see a story like this, my immediate question is "How did the newspapers find out about it?" Do they have embedded investigative journalists at high schools across the country? Doubtful. Somebody tipped them off, and the only person who would have done that was someone close to the situation; the father.

So now the media has a "feel good" type of story for all of us to discuss and make judgment on, to gossip about and create hypotheticals, and it's going to get them tons of clicks. The father will get all sorts of social media attention and praise - and even the condemnations are nevertheless a form of attention.

But what were the facts in the case?

Did the journalist interview the bus driver? The Principal? I somehow doubt these professionals are allowed to release information on such things. Do we even have independent confirmation that the girl actually bullied anyone? Not that I can tell.

In other words, this is manufactured Fake News intended to provoke gossip and meaningless discussion (how about the 20,000 kids who commit suicide every year due to Social Media? Crickets...). I don't believe a word of any of it, and I find everyone involved (the journalist, the informant, probably the dad) to be deeply morally suspect.

Best to have nothing to do with it.

[VincentVinturi]

@DoBA

No argument from me that public [government] schooling (or public anything) is totally unnatural.

But are you telling me that kids didn't meet to play and bully each other and jockey for dominance in agrarian and pre-agrarian societies?

I also question how natural agrarian society really is since it's a relatively recent phenomenon. The whole point in fact is that it's UN natural, as is any departure from a savage tribal existence. But that's the social compact. Still, kids need a way to ascend dominance hierarchies.

[heavy]

(12-07-2018 12:44 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

@DoBA

No argument from me that public [government] schooling (or public anything) is totally unnatural.

But are you telling me that kids didn't meet to play and bully each other and jockey for dominance in agrarian and pre-agrarian societies?

I also question how natural agrarian society really is since it's a relatively recent phenomenon. The whole point in fact is that it's UN natural, as is any departure from a savage tribal existence. But that's the social compact. Still, kids need a way to ascend dominance hierarchies.

I see your points, and I've thought about this a lot with my understanding of public screwals and childhood development.

I think it's the problem is the structural formality that public screwals force kids. There may be benefits, but there are definite drawbacks. This causes problems with everything...learning, socialization (perhaps not for majority, but for many), power dynamics.

Example for learning would be putting smart kids and dumb kids together (they all get slightly dumber). Thankfully the screwals have learned (thank god for competition from screwal choice) to separate more gifted vs less gifted kids.

Example for bullying would be putting kids together who "good" and "bad" at navigating social hierarchies (good and bad being a combination of natural gifts and experience).

As adults in a free society, we have free association. In screwal, kids have far less free association.