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Paying for dates
#1

Paying for dates

I first want to apologize if this had already been done (which I can't imagine it hasn't). I tried to search the forums before posting but found nothing like it.

How many of you pay when going on dates?
If you do or don't pay post and tell me why.
If you don't pay how do you go about doing that?
If you do sometimes and don't other times tell me why/how you decide when to?

I have drastically reduced the amount of money I spend on dates and changed where I take dates, but I still usually pay. If I see the girl has her wallet out or is saying, whether feigning or not, she will pay half I let her pay for herself. If she has no money out and/or is expecting me to pay I usually do to avoid the awkwardness. This is because one time this fat chick from tinder, who I didn't realize was fat beforehand, expected me to pay for half and had no money with her when we went out and I made her Venmo me right there while paying and it was really awkward, until I banged the whale later...

I am personally very interested in how you get her to pay for herself without being perceived as rude or whatever the girl is surely gonna shit test you with.

thanks!
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#2

Paying for dates

If you hold the frame and make good money, then the ₹1000-4000 (or US$50-100) spent on dates/month shouldn't matter. Just block out a small percentage of your monthly pay for leisure and dating.

If we've been seeing each other for a short time:
- 99% of the time, I pay for her, & she pays for me. I am direct (and playful, of course) about this
- Other 1%, I pay. No biggie

If we've been seeing each other for some time:
- If we go out, then the usual (I pay for her, and she pays for me). But sometimes, I have had girls who wanted to pay for me and also surprised me gifts

If you hold the frame and make good money, then the ₹2000-4000 (or US$50-100) spent on dates per month shouldn't matter

PS - If you're worried about the money you're spending on dating, then your finances may be weak. Getting your finances in complete control should be your #1 priority.
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#3

Paying for dates

They wax their pussy, I spring a few bucks for a meal and a drink. Sounds like a fair deal.

Anyone that tells you it should be the other way around you want to watch out for....
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#4

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 01:34 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

I first want to apologize if this had already been done (which I can't imagine it hasn't). I tried to search the forums before posting but found nothing like it.

How many of you pay when going on dates?
If you do or don't pay post and tell me why.
If you don't pay how do you go about doing that?
If you do sometimes and don't other times tell me why/how you decide when to?

I have drastically reduced the amount of money I spend on dates and changed where I take dates, but I still usually pay. If I see the girl has her wallet out or is saying, whether feigning or not, she will pay half I let her pay for herself. If she has no money out and/or is expecting me to pay I usually do to avoid the awkwardness. This is because one time this fat chick from tinder, who I didn't realize was fat beforehand, expected me to pay for half and had no money with her when we went out and I made her Venmo me right there while paying and it was really awkward, until I banged the whale later...

I am personally very interested in how you get her to pay for herself without being perceived as rude or whatever the girl is surely gonna shit test you with.

thanks!

My last 4-5 dates have been at my place. You'd think most girls would be opposed to this, you'd be surprised.

The key is how you word it. Seriously, stop going on formal dates. They're honestly pointless.
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#5

Paying for dates

I think women should pay 50% of the date if not 100% depending on how you go about getting the date especially on the first few in westernized countries. If your in a more poor country (example south/Central America) then if taking a girl out where the date may be $40,000cop which for her may be extremely expensive but to you should only be like $10-14/USD then you shouldn't really be traveling anyways.

"For each man must learn to live within the citadel of himself."
-Marcus Aurelius
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#6

Paying for dates

If you already banged her then it should be 50-50. Her financial situation doesn't matter. If she has a job then I see no reason why I should pay for her shit, it just lowers my value and signals that her time is more important than mine. If she's broke then invite her over for some Netflix and chill. Tell her to bring a bottle of wine while you cook something simple, no need to break the bank.

Before the bang it depends. Avoid restaurants, go to coffee shops or bars instead. Don't stay in one place, change venues during the date. You can pay at the first venue and she can do it at the second (tell her she owes you a drink with a smiley face). Or you can pay both but watch for her reaction, is she offering to cover the bill or not ? Is she ordering expensive drinks ? Don't be a sucker, if she's acting like a cold fish split the bill and call it a night.

Behaving like an ATM for some slut doesn't help anybody...you flush your money down the toilet while financing her bitchy attitude.
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#7

Paying for dates

I'm in this thread to see what date ideas people post.

As for myself... I've got this nice cocktail bar on lock.
One day a week, they do have price wine bottles.
Most expensive bottle is like 45 bucks. Most are in the high 20s low 30s range.
Which means thats im usually spending about 15 bucks for a bottle of wine.
Thats about 3 glasses each. Enough to get a good conversation going, get a little buzz and throw some bait about my apartment...drop a 20 dollar bill on the table and dip.

Frankly...it bothers me that women assume that men will pay, but 15 dollar bottle of wine and a 5 dollar tip the bar on lock.
I pretty much bring a new girl in every week.

I am the cock carousel
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#8

Paying for dates

i never pay anything above 5 dollars on dates.thats because my dates consist of a cup of cofee or tea. no fancy dinners or anything like that. i reserve those fancy dinners for my girlfreinds
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#9

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 07:50 PM)Pointer Wrote:  

If you already banged her then it should be 50-50. Her financial situation doesn't matter. If she has a job then I see no reason why I should pay for her shit, it just lowers my value and signals that her time is more important than mine. If she's broke then invite her over for some Netflix and chill. Tell her to bring a bottle of wine while you cook something simple, no need to break the bank.

Before the bang it depends. Avoid restaurants, go to coffee shops or bars instead. Don't stay in one place, change venues during the date. You can pay at the first venue and she can do it at the second (tell her she owes you a drink with a smiley face). Or you can pay both but watch for her reaction, is she offering to cover the bill or not ? Is she ordering expensive drinks ? Don't be a sucker, if she's acting like a cold fish split the bill and call it a night.

Behaving like an ATM for some slut doesn't help anybody...you flush your money down the toilet while financing her bitchy attitude.

Why would what she makes not matter? If your seeing a chick that works at Jamba juice and you make 100k a year your gonna make her split the bill? If that's the case why not insist she split the bill when you first meet her, why wait until you start fucking her to insist she pay for herself?
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#10

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 06:53 PM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 01:34 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

I first want to apologize if this had already been done (which I can't imagine it hasn't). I tried to search the forums before posting but found nothing like it.

How many of you pay when going on dates?
If you do or don't pay post and tell me why.
If you don't pay how do you go about doing that?
If you do sometimes and don't other times tell me why/how you decide when to?

I have drastically reduced the amount of money I spend on dates and changed where I take dates, but I still usually pay. If I see the girl has her wallet out or is saying, whether feigning or not, she will pay half I let her pay for herself. If she has no money out and/or is expecting me to pay I usually do to avoid the awkwardness. This is because one time this fat chick from tinder, who I didn't realize was fat beforehand, expected me to pay for half and had no money with her when we went out and I made her Venmo me right there while paying and it was really awkward, until I banged the whale later...

I am personally very interested in how you get her to pay for herself without being perceived as rude or whatever the girl is surely gonna shit test you with.

thanks!

My last 4-5 dates have been at my place. You'd think most girls would be opposed to this, you'd be surprised.

The key is how you word it. Seriously, stop going on formal dates. They're honestly pointless.


Lotta factors involved with this bro before you simplify this and make the newbies crash and burn. Home dates depend a lot on a woman's interest age and experience. Basically, unless you are 1-2 points above the chick I would consider this a gamble for newbs
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#11

Paying for dates

I think it absolutely depends on your age, her age, and situation. I tend to say never dinner on a first date. Wine is great for a first date, you want to get the alcohol flowing to loosen her up, and especially if places have half price wine night. I know what places have half price wine in walking distance from me each weekday night (Mon - Thurs). I'll always pay on the first date, but it's really important that she at least attempts or offers to pay. And says thank you as well. If a girl doesn't do either, I don't go out with them again.
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#12

Paying for dates

They question is not "who should be paying" or "should she pay for half" but rather structuring your dates so that they're cheap. If you're a single man out every other night with a new lead, it's inconceivable you should be taking them for dinner or to a fancy cocktail bar.

I've banged girls after taking them through the McDonald's drive-thru (yes, really). If they like you, they like you. So make sure to do things that are not hard on your wallet. Girls aren't going to pay - or even pay half. Around 40-60% will suggest, but if it's a first date then ideally you should be paying. Sucks I know. So make it cheap.

By the way, if they fail to say thank you, do not reward them with a 2nd date.
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#13

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 05:10 PM)maharajj Wrote:  

If you hold the frame and make good money, then the ₹1000-4000 (or US$50-100) spent on dates/month shouldn't matter. Just block out a small percentage of your monthly pay for leisure and dating.

If we've been seeing each other for a short time:
- 99% of the time, I pay for her, & she pays for me. I am direct (and playful, of course) about this
- Other 1%, I pay. No biggie

If we've been seeing each other for some time:
- If we go out, then the usual (I pay for her, and she pays for me). But sometimes, I have had girls who wanted to pay for me and also surprised me gifts

If you hold the frame and make good money, then the ₹2000-4000 (or US$50-100) spent on dates per month shouldn't matter

PS - If you're worried about the money you're spending on dating, then your finances may be weak. Getting your finances in complete control should be your #1 priority.

Money isn't necessarily a problem because I have the extra money to pay for dates if needed, but I am in uni and want to spend as little as possible. Also, I am living at home to save money while I am in school which means I have to build rapport and get over to their house, which means I have to take on "classic" dates as one guy put it.
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#14

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 09:39 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 06:53 PM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 01:34 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

I first want to apologize if this had already been done (which I can't imagine it hasn't). I tried to search the forums before posting but found nothing like it.

How many of you pay when going on dates?
If you do or don't pay post and tell me why.
If you don't pay how do you go about doing that?
If you do sometimes and don't other times tell me why/how you decide when to?

I have drastically reduced the amount of money I spend on dates and changed where I take dates, but I still usually pay. If I see the girl has her wallet out or is saying, whether feigning or not, she will pay half I let her pay for herself. If she has no money out and/or is expecting me to pay I usually do to avoid the awkwardness. This is because one time this fat chick from tinder, who I didn't realize was fat beforehand, expected me to pay for half and had no money with her when we went out and I made her Venmo me right there while paying and it was really awkward, until I banged the whale later...

I am personally very interested in how you get her to pay for herself without being perceived as rude or whatever the girl is surely gonna shit test you with.

thanks!

My last 4-5 dates have been at my place. You'd think most girls would be opposed to this, you'd be surprised.

The key is how you word it. Seriously, stop going on formal dates. They're honestly pointless.


Lotta factors involved with this bro before you simplify this and make the newbies crash and burn. Home dates depend a lot on a woman's interest age and experience. Basically, unless you are 1-2 points above the chick I would consider this a gamble for newbs

Correct and wrong at the same time. A newbie follows the same scripts I use, they'll get the same results. Same quality? Maybe not.
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#15

Paying for dates

If the date goes nowhere and she is ready to leave, I'm just asking her "Will you pay for your drink before leaving? " The problem in London is that most women use debit cards, but at least you can get a 'free' drink. You are not gonna see her again anyway.
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#16

Paying for dates

For anyone reading this.
Never take a first date out for dinner.

Doesn't matter the circumstance.
This is women's fault, if there wasn't a consensus among women that they can get free meals, things might be different.

Don't waste your time or money.


Cut your date cost by doing drinks on a happy hour or some deal.
Usually they are a bit earlier in the night and if there is no chemistry, you can dip without wasting a night.

If you frame it right... You can invite her to your place to cook.

I am the cock carousel
Reply
#17

Paying for dates

Personally I don't mind paying for dates, especially since I work and I only date students.

In practice however, we need to be careful of what message it gives her, even though we could care less.

A lot of the time by paying for date, whether you care or not, asshole or nice guy, it still gives the girl the provider vibe. Which can be good or bad depending on the girl and what you have in mind for her.

A good compromise I found is to offer to pay for some extra that you shared. Usually this means you each pay for your order but you offer the drinks/desserts, whatever.

I once invited a girl to go eat Ramen with me for the 1st date bang recipe. This goes against textbook but IDGAF, I was sick and wanted some ramen. She paid for her ramen while I paid for mine and the sake. Banged her that night. Later I heard from her friend that she was very impressed since I was the first guy who took her to a real restaurant in her life. I didn't even paid for her stuff.

Even if she was the type who got put off with a nice guy provider, it wouldn't have done that much damage since I only offer the sake.

Find your own balance, but I don't believe in free meal.

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
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#18

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-18-2018 09:29 PM)Mr_furly Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 07:50 PM)Pointer Wrote:  

If you already banged her then it should be 50-50. Her financial situation doesn't matter. If she has a job then I see no reason why I should pay for her shit, it just lowers my value and signals that her time is more important than mine. If she's broke then invite her over for some Netflix and chill. Tell her to bring a bottle of wine while you cook something simple, no need to break the bank.

Before the bang it depends. Avoid restaurants, go to coffee shops or bars instead. Don't stay in one place, change venues during the date. You can pay at the first venue and she can do it at the second (tell her she owes you a drink with a smiley face). Or you can pay both but watch for her reaction, is she offering to cover the bill or not ? Is she ordering expensive drinks ? Don't be a sucker, if she's acting like a cold fish split the bill and call it a night.

Behaving like an ATM for some slut doesn't help anybody...you flush your money down the toilet while financing her bitchy attitude.

Why would what she makes not matter? If your seeing a chick that works at Jamba juice and you make 100k a year your gonna make her split the bill? If that's the case why not insist she split the bill when you first meet her, why wait until you start fucking her to insist she pay for herself?

Girls hate beta providers, you're not getting bonus points for spending money on her. You can thank feminism for that.
However, if make a big deal out of it before banging her she may think you are cheap and you will not get laid.
Once you seal the deal, her attraction for you shouldn't have anything to do with your income. Girls who are head over heels over their Chad will do anything to meet him and don't give a shit if he takes them on a trip to the nearest park or to the Bahamas.
If meeting her is conditional upon your transfer of resources then I see no reason to waste your time and money on her. Surely if you make 100k/year you have plenty of options among the other girls working at Jamba juice.
The only situation where that works is if she's a very traditional girl, ideally a virgin, and wants to be a stay at home mom while popping a couple children.
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#19

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-19-2018 02:43 AM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 09:39 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 06:53 PM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

Quote: (11-18-2018 01:34 PM)InvoluntaryHermit Wrote:  

I first want to apologize if this had already been done (which I can't imagine it hasn't). I tried to search the forums before posting but found nothing like it.

How many of you pay when going on dates?
If you do or don't pay post and tell me why.
If you don't pay how do you go about doing that?
If you do sometimes and don't other times tell me why/how you decide when to?

I have drastically reduced the amount of money I spend on dates and changed where I take dates, but I still usually pay. If I see the girl has her wallet out or is saying, whether feigning or not, she will pay half I let her pay for herself. If she has no money out and/or is expecting me to pay I usually do to avoid the awkwardness. This is because one time this fat chick from tinder, who I didn't realize was fat beforehand, expected me to pay for half and had no money with her when we went out and I made her Venmo me right there while paying and it was really awkward, until I banged the whale later...

I am personally very interested in how you get her to pay for herself without being perceived as rude or whatever the girl is surely gonna shit test you with.

thanks!

My last 4-5 dates have been at my place. You'd think most girls would be opposed to this, you'd be surprised.

The key is how you word it. Seriously, stop going on formal dates. They're honestly pointless.


Lotta factors involved with this bro before you simplify this and make the newbies crash and burn. Home dates depend a lot on a woman's interest age and experience. Basically, unless you are 1-2 points above the chick I would consider this a gamble for newbs

Correct and wrong at the same time. A newbie follows the same scripts I use, they'll get the same results. Same quality? Maybe not.

What's your script for landing fresh direct dates? Most chicks are skeptical to come straight over on the first meet.
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#20

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-19-2018 07:11 AM)Sourcecode Wrote:  

For anyone reading this.
Never take a first date out for dinner.

Doesn't matter the circumstance.
This is women's fault, if there wasn't a consensus among women that they can get free meals, things might be different.

Don't waste your time or money.


Cut your date cost by doing drinks on a happy hour or some deal.
Usually they are a bit earlier in the night and if there is no chemistry, you can dip without wasting a night.

If you frame it right... You can invite her to your place to cook.

True that.

My ideal first date structure is framing going out for drinks/coffee to "see if we vibe". 1 hour at the date venue and I can figure out what the girl is about and what approach I'm going to take. If she needs to warm up to you a little bit more and you're at a place with drinks you can order another round (extra $8-$14) or if you met at a coffee shop you can venue change to a walk outside or another spot.

If things are going good I venue change back to my place, under the pretense of splitting a bottle of wine, playing with my 9 month old puppy, or listening to some music (I play guitar and sing which is an easy way to bring a girl home). Really, anything to give her a reason to venue change to somewhere more laid back where more of a connection can be formed. Framing getting drinks as a test to "see if we vibe" keeps her open to the possible venue change and I've noticed it bringing me more success in comparison to only mentioning meeting up for drinks with no pretense.

With simple dates like this, sometimes she'll offer to pay and sometimes she won't. I always assume I'm going to be picking up the bill.

If things went well and she offers to pay I'll wait a couple seconds without saying anything until she is pulling out her purse, then nonchalantly mention "No, don't worry about it. I don't mind paying for your $4 drink." Reward is subtly given for her receptive behavior during the date.

If you offer to pay and she refuses, say something along the lines of, "I was raised to expect men to be men and women to be women, I don't mind."

If she follows up with continued refusal, I let her pay her part and I make a mental note of it. Girls who do this are playing an angle of some sort, she may be trying to signal her perceived value as an independent woman to you, or she might not be that attracted to you and she is trying to avoid further advances by paying her part of the bill.

The latter is the most common when this happens, girls realize that the male-female dynamic is transactional and they are used to beta provider types expecting investment from her when they buy her things. Separate yourself from these guys by letting it go and showing you are not in the beta provider camp.

If things are going so-so and she has something she is going to do after our date or she suggests meeting up some other time, I won't fight her on if she insists to pay. I don't award non-receptive behavior.

All in all, my entire bill on a first date is never more than $20, and I am never upset over the outcome because I am anticipating that amount.
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#21

Paying for dates

I sometimes take girls to McDonalds.
I buy my own milkshake.
I offer her a chance to buy a milkshake as well.

Sometimes I give away a free piece of chewing gum.

If I get complains or critique I mention that I am not a philanthropic institution.
Most girls need a dictionary to figure out what this means.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
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#22

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-19-2018 11:18 AM)BadBoyGamer Wrote:  

I sometimes take girls to McDonalds.
I buy my own milkshake.
I offer her a chance to buy a milkshake as well.

Sometimes I give away a free piece of chewing gum.

If I get complains or critique I mention that I am not a philanthropic institution.
Most girls need a dictionary to figure out what this means.

Looooool I respect that
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#23

Paying for dates

Quote: (11-19-2018 07:11 AM)Sourcecode Wrote:  

For anyone reading this.
Never take a first date out for dinner.

Doesn't matter the circumstance.
This is women's fault, if there wasn't a consensus among women that they can get free meals, things might be different.

Don't waste your time or money.


Cut your date cost by doing drinks on a happy hour or some deal.
Usually they are a bit earlier in the night and if there is no chemistry, you can dip without wasting a night.

If you frame it right... You can invite her to your place to cook.

This.

I wish I took this to heart in my early 20's. Even if I ended up banging, I could have saved money (and time) having a cheap date. I took a current plate to a wine tasting event (15.00 cover each) in which for an hour or two I watched her get buzzed, had decent conversation, then went back to my place to bang. She spent the night, and we banged again the following morning.

That ROI was much better than a $100-150 meal.
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#24

Paying for dates

I dont pay for anything fully, Usually during a conversation you will get an estimation of her earnings. If she is working in SEA on 1.5USD an hour and you are bringing in 20+ and she isn't acting entitled it is fair to split 10/90. Its not about who pays what, Its about getting taking advantage of and losing frame. If a girl see's you as a potential free meal, End the date early.
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