[TheDuncan]

We argue and it always goes back to the same shit a few weeks or months later, says I dont show emotions and no affection, that supposedly I get spoiled while she doesnt, goddamn this is annoying and the more it goes on the more im about to pick up and leave her ass, any advise on this? She also plays the victim card about her parents and ex’s not giving attention either. (Honestly her parents were fucked up, I can confirm) but how is that my fault?

I dont want to leave her, she is a good woman and supports me in all I do, other than that its a good relationship (2 years so far..)

Bout to say fuck it man..

[Repo]

Sounds like your stroke game needs work. Maybe she's getting bored of it

[Fortis]

Are you affectionate though? If you're serious you should examine your behavior around her.

As they said in the old game materials, a lot of guys stop doing the things they did that got them the girl in the first place. For one, it sounds like you're letting the shit tests get to you when you would have just shrugged them off and clowned her two years ago.

[Suits]

Does she suck dick?

[Parlay44]

(07-04-2018 01:19 PM)Repo Wrote:  

Sounds like your stroke game needs work. Maybe she's getting bored of it

Agreed. Dick trumps “attention”.

[Geomann180]

LT Girlfriend? Tell me you're at least a CPT.

G

[kuqezi]

Do you guys spend time together beside "watching movies and ordering pizza"?
Do you show her the side of you that's out of the bedroom that made her interested in you in the first place?

Do you give her mind blowing orgasms so that her brain doesn't have time to think bs like these?
Do you bring your A-game (pun intended) when you're together (bedroom or out of it)?

I mean all the above if you really care about her...if you don't then all this is useless...just dump her.

[PapayaTapper]

This is a classic example of not understanding the female "hierarchy of needs". She's telling you youre not giving her enough "affection" Affection is just a form of attention. Attention is the primary emotional currency of the female mind.

"Maintenance" means keep her emotionally stimulated. Its conceptually no different in an LTR than when your trying to bang for the first time. Did she magically change because youre in a relationship? No of course not. She's still the same woman that responds to the same stimuli. The fact that youre in a relationship just means you need to change up the form in which the stimuli is applied.

But its still Game

Push / pull

Positive / negative

Fear / Desire

Nature abhors a vacuum but women's nature abhors emotional stagnation (aka boredom ) .

The good news is that it doesn't sound like she needs heavy doses. Just a bit of dread with a smidgen of affectionate gestures should do the trick.



https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/dread/

Quote:

There are two ways to guarantee a healthy relationship. By healthy, I mean the girl is in love with you and there is no threat of her leaving; you have all the leverage you need to assure yourself peace of mind and a steady sexual outlet.

Meet your soulmate
If you are extremely lucky enough to cross paths with your soulmate this is the easiest way to live the kind of romantic bliss that Hollywood movies exalt. A soulmate connection is the Golden Ticket to happiness and a dreamlike existence. But it is rare. Don’t live as if it will happen to you. I estimate 1% of all men and 2% of all women meet their soulmates. The reason for the discrepancy is that male soulmates are in shorter supply than female soulmates. Male soulmates are shared amongst the women like a community hookah.

Instill dread
Women respond viscerally in their vagina area to unpredictability, mixed signals, danger, and drama in spite of their best efforts to convince themselves otherwise. Managing your relationship in such a way that she is left with a constant, gnawing feeling of impending doom will do more for your cause than all the Valentine’s Day cards and expertly performed tongue love in the world. Like it or not, the threat of a looming breakup, whether the facts justify it or not, will spin her into a paranoid estrogen-fueled tizzy, and she’ll spend every waking second thinking about you, thinking about the relationship, thinking about how to fix it. Her love for you will blossom under these conditions. Result: she works harder to please you.

The key for the man is to adopt a posture of blase emotional distance alternated with loving tenderness. Too much of either and she’ll run off.

Examples of effective doom inducement:

Turn off your cell phone twice a week. Alternate days. Don’t do this on a Friday or Saturday night unless the relationship is shaky and needs a high voltage jolt of dread.

Make a blatant but plausibly deniable move on one of her friends when she’s not around. The news will get back to her. Milk it.

Call her from a very busy place so that she can hear women’s voices laughing and shrieking in the background. Don’t tell her where you are when she asks. Just say you’ll see her soon.

Mention how skilled your Russian ex was at giving head. Bring it up again a few days later, pretending not to remember the first time you mentioned it. Bonus: Russians are very good at giving head, so this will have the ring of truth.

Be seen by your girlfriend flirting with other women in a social venue. Extra points if the women are attractive. Double extra points if you flirt without looking back at your girlfriend once to check her reaction.

Cook her a romantic candlelight dinner at home. Make it a memorable experience, complete with jazz, chocolate, and rose petals. Then, do not talk with her for four days afterwards.

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

When her best friend tells you how cute you and your girlfriend look together, shrug, put your hand to the back of your neck as if to scratch an itch there, look down slightly and with a mildly annoyed expression blandly sigh “Yeeeeah…”. Triple bonus points if your girlfriend is standing right there.

When she attempts the jealousy maneuver by flirting with another guy, act unfazed. Give her pickup tips.

Gaze longingly into her eyes, say how hot she looks, then immediately glance sidelong at the bosom of any strange woman in the vicinity.

Have a threesome. Spend an inordinate amount of time admiring the labia of the other woman. Be sure to moan louder with her. WARNING: If you cum on the other woman you will have to spend weeks consoling your girlfriend.

Say things like “I really value my independence and freedom” relevant to nothing in particular. It’s just a thought that popped in your head.

Thermonuclear Option:

Have an affair and make sure she finds out about it. Arrange the confrontation so that it does not happen at your place. When she confronts you, don’t get defensive. Don’t speak at all. Let her vent. Let her punch you in the chest and scream obscenities. When she takes a breather, tell her she’s never looked more beautiful and you will never stop loving her. Then without waiting for her response calmly walk out the door and break off all contact for two weeks. When she comes back to you… and she will… you will have a love slave for life.

[tzone]

Instill dread
Women respond viscerally in their vagina area to unpredictability, mixed signals, danger, and drama in spite of their best efforts to convince themselves otherwise. Managing your relationship in such a way that she is left with a constant, gnawing feeling of impending doom will do more for your cause than all the Valentine’s Day cards and expertly performed tongue love in the world. Like it or not, the threat of a looming breakup, whether the facts justify it or not, will spin her into a paranoid estrogen-fueled tizzy, and she’ll spend every waking second thinking about you, thinking about the relationship, thinking about how to fix it. Her love for you will blossom under these conditions. Result: she works harder to please you.

The key for the man is to adopt a posture of blase emotional distance alternated with loving tenderness. Too much of either and she’ll run off.

Examples of effective doom inducement:

Turn off your cell phone twice a week. Alternate days. Don’t do this on a Friday or Saturday night unless the relationship is shaky and needs a high voltage jolt of dread.

Make a blatant but plausibly deniable move on one of her friends when she’s not around. The news will get back to her. Milk it.

Call her from a very busy place so that she can hear women’s voices laughing and shrieking in the background. Don’t tell her where you are when she asks. Just say you’ll see her soon.

Mention how skilled your Russian ex was at giving head. Bring it up again a few days later, pretending not to remember the first time you mentioned it. Bonus: Russians are very good at giving head, so this will have the ring of truth.

Be seen by your girlfriend flirting with other women in a social venue. Extra points if the women are attractive. Double extra points if you flirt without looking back at your girlfriend once to check her reaction.

Cook her a romantic candlelight dinner at home. Make it a memorable experience, complete with jazz, chocolate, and rose petals. Then, do not talk with her for four days afterwards.

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

When her best friend tells you how cute you and your girlfriend look together, shrug, put your hand to the back of your neck as if to scratch an itch there, look down slightly and with a mildly annoyed expression blandly sigh “Yeeeeah…”. Triple bonus points if your girlfriend is standing right there.

When she attempts the jealousy maneuver by flirting with another guy, act unfazed. Give her pickup tips.

Gaze longingly into her eyes, say how hot she looks, then immediately glance sidelong at the bosom of any strange woman in the vicinity.

Have a threesome. Spend an inordinate amount of time admiring the labia of the other woman. Be sure to moan louder with her. WARNING: If you cum on the other woman you will have to spend weeks consoling your girlfriend.

Say things like “I really value my independence and freedom” relevant to nothing in particular. It’s just a thought that popped in your head.

Thermonuclear Option:

Have an affair and make sure she finds out about it. Arrange the confrontation so that it does not happen at your place. When she confronts you, don’t get defensive. Don’t speak at all. Let her vent. Let her punch you in the chest and scream obscenities. When she takes a breather, tell her she’s never looked more beautiful and you will never stop loving her. Then without waiting for her response calmly walk out the door and break off all contact for two weeks. When she comes back to you… and she will… you will have a love slave for life.[/quote]
[/quote]


What the fuck? That sounds like a recipe for a breakup.

Your advice is so fucked up.

[torridon747]

The golden rule of game is "be ready and willing to walk away from a girl at any time". It essentially counters every single female relationship manipulation tactic.

Do you know what OPs girl is doing to him? She's manipulating him for more attention. The whole female relationship experience is essentially manipulating the man for attention, resources, social gain. They literally evolved to do it. It's nothing to be salty over, most of the time it's unconscious and they only do it; IF YOU LET THEM. If you're a man and you're in a relationship it is your job to ensure your happiness and not succumb to child like manipulation attempts.

While PTs quoted advice may seem extreme to the uninitiated it's extremely effective given the circumstance - You're willing to walk away from your girl, you know you're the prize and can find better should the reason arise, building off the previous you maintained a healthy amount of power and control during the relationship.

If you base your decisions and actions in a relationship off of the fear of your girl breaking up with you that is a true recipe for breakup it's not if it's when and you can enjoy being taken advantage of the whole way there.

Dread when applied correctly is chick crack. It will make them love you.

[Mercenary]

(07-05-2018 12:47 PM)tzone Wrote:  

What the fuck? That sounds like a recipe for a breakup.

Your advice is so fucked up.

You have a lot to learn about female behaviour tzone.

[kuqezi]

@tzone...first don't wreck the thread with your opinion like that...you're not providing value to the OP.
Then...no one told you to do all what you read in PT's post at once. That post is supposed to teach you and then you apply it to your situation and moment. I take it you're young and inexperienced?
Cheers

[PapayaTapper]

dupe deleted

[PapayaTapper]

(07-05-2018 12:47 PM)tzone Wrote:  

What the fuck? That sounds like a recipe for a breakup.

Your advice is so fucked up.

^ Uh oh...triggered female detected

[LINUX]

If you have no affection or emotion toward a woman that you've been with for over two years, then it might be time to move on.

Love with vulnerability isn't a bad thing like many men think. It's after-all what keeps some men alive; a failure to leave this earth because you love another person more than yourself.

What works in game and what works in long-term relationships are very different things. One focuses on masculine/feminine tension and the other focuses a little on the same but now compromise and empathy comes into the picture and some men who have been closed off to those emotions don't always have good long-term relationships or marriages.

[BadgerHut]

(07-04-2018 12:58 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

We argue and it always goes back to the same shit a few weeks or months later, says I dont show emotions and no affection, that supposedly I get spoiled while she doesnt, goddamn this is annoying and the more it goes on the more im about to pick up and leave her ass, any advise on this? She also plays the victim card about her parents and ex’s not giving attention either. (Honestly her parents were fucked up, I can confirm) but how is that my fault?

I dont want to leave her, she is a good woman and supports me in all I do, other than that its a good relationship (2 years so far..)

Bout to say fuck it man..

So, some serious LTR-game thoughts.

PREAMBLE
I agree with other posters that affection is probably code for attention. First off think of the positive - if she's bringing this up to you and not launching a breakup conversation, at least part of her wants this to work and is trying to ask for what she wants.

That said, if you dig this gal and have a good functional relationship going besides this repeated topic, I'd advise you take her at good faith that some basic, non-sexual need is not being met for her. You can assume it's nonsense chick drama, but you'll never get anywhere towards solving the problem that way, so unless you're ready to write the thing off right now, get in a positive head space because she needs you to lead her to better.

IOW it's totally in your interest to make a game-aware (not supplicating) but real effort to address her complaints, then see how things are. If it doesn't work out, you at least know you made a good effort and that's a manly thing you can take pride in.

GAME PRINCIPLES AND APPLICATIONS
Now, it's important to understand that "not getting enough affection" may not be what she's REALLY concerned about, just that's how she's phrasing/expressing it (just as if she's complaining your place isn't clean, probably something else is bothering her and it's emotionally manifesting as nesting instinct), so it may not be about foot rubs or sexy time per se. I would try to glean from her specific examples or memories when she says she felt "affection" from you.

You might take a look at the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages, in particular noting the one or two ways she tends to try to show affection to you because that's probably how she expects to receive it. There's some Oprah-psychobabble in here, but it's a good guide to thinking about how someone's intentions influence their behavior.

If her parents are fucked up and/or she's had damaging relationships, she may have a hair trigger or low emotional "tank" for withdrawal of affection/attention - seeing any bit of that from you as part of a long continuous story starring her versus these other people and you are a coconspirator. (If this is the case, attempts at dread game could backfire spectacularly.) BUT that doesn't mean she gets to play the victim card like you say - you are not her parents or her ex and you can only provide what you can provide.

Typically when a girl says you "don't show emotion" there's some degree of "I don't think you care about me." You may want to show some kind of re-up/re-tune on the investment. That doesn't mean she wants the inside view of your emotional system. Key word here is SHOW - guys read this wrong and start TELLING her their feelings and it just totally kills the attraction.

Another game principle involved here is that some part of her expects you to be a mind-reader and not need to be "told" to change your behavior. If you've ever read writings by urban feminist women (a la the Atlantic) who wish their men were more dominant towards them, you will easily recall the constant paradox of "well I want him to take charge but if I TELL him to take charge then he's not really taking charge..." So you have to look like you aren't really responding directly to her request, just being more of the man she "expects."

RECAP

• Don't take her hyperbole seriously, but take the problem seriously.
• Complaints about affection are almost certainly about her perceptions of attention or emotional investment.
• There's probably one or two "buttons" you can hit that would significantly improve her attitude.
• You can't expect a "tell me what to do" fix - you need to discover what she means by "affection" via observation and some indirect querying and then provide it without looking like you are just giving in to whatever she asks you for
  

DENOUMENT
On the other hand from all of this, there's a chance you two may not be compatible in how much attention/affection you expect to exchange with your partner. Or she might have emotional problems you can't fix.

(It somehow feels blue-pill writing some of this, but if she's giving you what you need, try to give her what she needs - if you don't need to emasculate yourself to do it, that's a red-pill-compatible exchange. If it was some barfly you'd been hooking up with 100% ditch her and find someone less needy but if a modest effort here can prolong a highly positive relationship, then it is worth the effort.)

[Mercenary]

OP is wasting our time.
He has a bad habit of starting threads with 1 single post and then NEVER replying to them again.


Examples here:

Girlfriends casual mention of EX...


Should you feel bad about cheating?


Depressed? Seems like this comes up every couple of months for me..


...

[BadgerHut]

"He has a bad habit of starting threads with 1 single post and then NEVER replying to them again."

Might explain why his girlfriend keeps bringing up the same problems.

[TheDuncan]

Definetly nost wasting your guys time and thank you for the replys.

Seemed like giving her some good dick solved the issue and she was happy but things just keep going back to what they were, you never show me affection, do romantic things or cuddle with me anymore like you did at the begining.

I mean I try but I am not some super affectionate person, yea at first because you want to get the bang and all that, after a year of knowing someone conversations do begin to run a bit dry, hearing her complain about shit gets old too.

Dont get me wrong, I am not some cold hearted stoic person but I do like my space and I do tend to get annoyed with bullshit complaning but I live with the girl and do have feelings for her, its not like I can just break up with her and be cool, life goes on but I would be ok.

[pussy sniffer]

I had the same issue with my ex girlfriend about me not giving her enough affection / being cold / distant. She was a virgin before me and had a very idealistic vision of love (would always talk about "pure love", write poems, write huge chapters of text about our relationship,...). On the other hand she also provided with very good sex so that was not the issue. We got along well and enjoyed talking in the bed at night. But she was really annoying as i just wanted to sleep after a while but she always wanted that we keep hugging each other until we sleep. Really annoying as I always had to push her away, i'd try to sleep and she'd suddenly come back hugging with her body temperature too warm for me to feel comfortable to sleep. And when i'd become angry at her she'd say i'm so cold, she loves me too much etc. Also almost every night she'd make me have bad sleep by going back with her hugggings while i was sleeping at 2am, 4am etc. After a while i kind of developed an automatic "get away from me" attitude because she was too much into me and it grew worse the more i distanced myself from her. I didn't want to kiss her or give her my affection anymore, just fuck her hard and do her kinky stuff to compensate from the suffocation of her overwhelming love for me. After a while i cheated on her and told her about it. She stuck around but lost some trust in me and after a few months we stopped seeing each others (and i fucked other girls in that timespan).

[ADEBISIGARANA]

Bro. Your name is funny as fuck????