[WannaBang]

I know there are online multiple choice personality tests to give a rough idea but has anyone gone to see a doctor to get a full in depth test for finding out where you sit on the spectrum of 'normal' and aspergers/autistic?

I'm not saying I think I have this problem but sometimes I wonder if I might be limited in some ways which is butchering my success with dating and day game which I may not be aware of. Could be nothing but I am just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same way and has seen a professional to put his mind at rest?

[Fortis]

Sometimes it may not be you. Could be the environment you're in. You're based in the West, right? Do you find that when you leave dating suddenly feels much easier, almost like you're finally in a non-toxic environment? You may not be autistic, you might just be a normal dude dealing with a suboptimal dating market that doesn't really prize your traits.

Of course, you can improve your game and get diagnosed and stuff, but you should probably start planning your exit. At some point, your game will get better but you realize that you're fighting over massively damaged women, so it's like a lose-lose.

[Dragan]

No. Don't think I am, think I'm just a low empathy person rather than being on the spectrum.

But, but, I am probably clinically an idiot.

[WannaBang]

(06-03-2018 04:57 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Sometimes it may not be you. Could be the environment you're in. You're based in the West, right? Do you find that when you leave dating suddenly feels much easier, almost like you're finally in a non-toxic environment? You may not be autistic, you might just be a normal dude dealing with a suboptimal dating market that doesn't really prize your traits.

Of course, you can improve your game and get diagnosed and stuff, but you should probably start planning your exit. At some point, your game will get better but you realize that you're fighting over massively damaged women, so it's like a lose-lose.

Yeah I made the decision to leave the West behind 4 years ago for the reasons you mentioned. I game mostly in Central/Eastern Europe and of course I worked hard on my looks and game (too hard maybe). But the return on investment is insanely low and I feel like something deep rooted must be behind this.

[Fortis]

What is your style like? How good are your language skills? I imagine you would have figured out you were an autist already if it were the case.

[Suits]

I don't need to be tested. My condition is obvious to everyone who comes anywhere near me.

[pussy sniffer]

(06-03-2018 04:42 AM)WannaBang Wrote:  

I know there are online multiple choice personality tests to give a rough idea but has anyone gone to see a doctor to get a full in depth test for finding out where you sit on the spectrum of 'normal' and aspergers/autistic?

I'm not saying I think I have this problem but sometimes I wonder if I might be limited in some ways which is butchering my success with dating and day game which I may not be aware of. Could be nothing but I am just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same way and has seen a professional to put his mind at rest?

Try SEA and if you cannot bang there, you have some issue. Plane tickets are cheap.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Meet up with someone who has massive Game - let him observe you - you could even hire a professional coach. Tell the guy to be honest with you. There are many reasons for shortcomings in seduction - maybe you haven't even imbued all the basics.

[MongolianAbroad]

(06-03-2018 05:02 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

No. Don't think I am, think I'm just a low empathy person rather than being on the spectrum.

But, but, I am probably clinically an idiot.

Your posts always come across pretty well, man. Even the brutal honesty on that virginity thread speaks well of you.

Not to derail this thread, but a friend of mine also lost his virginity in his mid 20's, and it was also because he was raised in a religious household (Jehova's Witness). He was a good looking, tall guy, but that upbringing made him a late bloomer.

When he finally did get laid, he went at it with a vengeance, prioritizing notch count above everything.

Then he finally decided it just wasn't worth the trouble and switched to looking for a steady girl of higher quality.

But yeah, he wasn't autistic or off in any way whatsoever, it was just his upbringing/environment that boxed him in, and once he removed himself from that environment, he started living a full life.

Fortis' post above speaks to another version of the environment being the cause, and I'd rep him twice if I could.

If you're able to have smooth social interactions with other men from all walks of life, it's unlikely you've got an actual issue.

So yeah, for guys in a similar boat, change your environment and see what happens.

[MongolianAbroad]

(06-03-2018 05:14 AM)WannaBang Wrote:  

(06-03-2018 04:57 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Sometimes it may not be you. Could be the environment you're in. You're based in the West, right? Do you find that when you leave dating suddenly feels much easier, almost like you're finally in a non-toxic environment? You may not be autistic, you might just be a normal dude dealing with a suboptimal dating market that doesn't really prize your traits.

Of course, you can improve your game and get diagnosed and stuff, but you should probably start planning your exit. At some point, your game will get better but you realize that you're fighting over massively damaged women, so it's like a lose-lose.

Yeah I made the decision to leave the West behind 4 years ago for the reasons you mentioned. I game mostly in Central/Eastern Europe and of course I worked hard on my looks and game (too hard maybe). But the return on investment is insanely low and I feel like something deep rooted must be behind this.

Do you speak the language of the country you're in? Eastern Europe, in general, is not easy. The girls there are hotter than in the West and have less mental issues, but they're not known for being easy.

[Dragan]

(06-03-2018 12:45 PM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

(06-03-2018 05:02 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

No. Don't think I am, think I'm just a low empathy person rather than being on the spectrum.

But, but, I am probably clinically an idiot.

Your posts always come across pretty well, man. Even the brutal honesty on that virginity thread speaks well of you.

Not to derail this thread, but a friend of mine also lost his virginity in his mid 20's, and it was also because he was raised in a religious household (Jehova's Witness). He was a good looking, tall guy, but that upbringing made him a late bloomer.

When he finally did get laid, he went at it with a vengeance, prioritizing notch count above everything.

Then he finally decided it just wasn't worth the trouble and switched to looking for a steady girl of higher quality.

But yeah, he wasn't autistic or off in any way whatsoever, it was just his upbringing/environment that boxed him in, and once he removed himself from that environment, he started living a full life.

Fortis' post above speaks to another version of the environment being the cause, and I'd rep him twice if I could.

If you're able to have smooth social interactions with other men from all walks of life, it's unlikely you've got an actual issue.

So yeah, for guys in a similar boat, change your environment and see what happens.

Thanks man. I don't give a fuck about my virginity at this point, because the approaches are giving me confidence. Also I stopped jerking off and porn, and I have to approach now.

Changing the environment has helped a lot. I have a lot of friends here in Belgrade, and they get fucking pissed when I don't answer the phone. I think they're starting to see how much fun I'm having. I feel spontaneous as fuck these days. Carefree.

[churros]

I really think the term autism and aspergers is widely and damagingly misapplied, just like the term depression. The psychotics industry has really fucked America and the rest of the world by proxy.

I've only ever met one guy who was truly autistic, and that was a serious problem bordering on retardation. He was a nice guy but you had to be patient.

Most so-called autistic people just need to socialise more. Socialising is a muscle and a skill like anything else, so forget the fucking doctors and go make some friends like its your job. Study and befriend social people.

Edit: running daygame is good for your game, but for general social skills you need to develop networks and real friends.

[Jetset]

(06-04-2018 10:08 AM)churros Wrote:  

Most so-called autistic people just need to socialise more. Socialising is a muscle and a skill like anything else, so forget the fucking doctors and go make some friends like its your job. Study and befriend social people.

What's often missing in helping people on the mild end of the autism spectrum is having people in their lives who are actually willing to explain to them what's going on and why. In the adult world, it's pretty rare for someone to actually sit somebody down and say "...look, here's the extremely obvious reason girls aren't texting you back..." They can work very hard studying people but draw conclusions that are completely off the wall if left to their own devices, because they often aren't well-tuned to what is significant.

My point is that just running out and trying to do it alone can make it worse. It's one of the reasons I try to help people on the Newbie forum even when they seem like probable trolls, because I figure there's at least a 10% chance that posts that are so confused they sound like a joke are actually some dude who is really struggling and at the end of his rope, and can't figure out why people are making fun of him - or even whether or not they are.

After that, it all comes down to personality, not autism. A guy is either able to accept constructive criticism or has built up such a narcissistic shell from years of failure that he'll spend the next twenty years blundering along and telling himself that everyone else has the problem.

[Saweeep]

Somebody should make a lot of money offering tests with an RVF discount

[MongolianAbroad]

(06-04-2018 12:41 PM)Saweeep Wrote:  

Somebody should make a lot of money offering tests with an RVF discount

We need a signature with an affiliate link connecting to a niche site.

Sounds like a job for This is Trouble, haha.

[godfather dust]

I'm not asperges or autism but am diagnosed with a mental disorder (which I have no reason to believe I have at this point, not medicated or anything.) The only "mental health" issue I've had is bouts of hypomania which is generally a good thing (you get things done.) So I will say this: take any psychiatric evaluation sober, and take any psychiatrists word with a grain of salt, you might end up on shit with side effects for no reason.

[jamaicabound]

I think people put way too much emphasis on labels and I think in many cases it can be a self fulfilling prophecy ie if you think your introverted your going to act more introverted.

I don't doubt aspergers exists, but if your overall ably to carry on a conversation and if you aren't like rainman I wouldn't worry about it. Everything is a sliding scale, nothing is black and white. Some people are way more extroverted, some people are way more introverted and some are in between.

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Some peole are naturally better at math, it doesn't mean you should not do math or you have a disorder you just lack a certain skill.

Accept yourself for who and what you are. If you found out you had aspergers its not as if there's a medicion your going to take to fix it so really what's the point of investigating it further. YOu know your interoverted, accept yourself for who you are, try setting up your life to cater to that and your strengths and focus on working on and improving in that area.

[Jack Hughes]

(06-03-2018 04:42 AM)WannaBang Wrote:  

I know there are online multiple choice personality tests to give a rough idea but has anyone gone to see a doctor to get a full in depth test for finding out where you sit on the spectrum of 'normal' and aspergers/autistic?

I'm not saying I think I have this problem but sometimes I wonder if I might be limited in some ways which is butchering my success with dating and day game which I may not be aware of. Could be nothing but I am just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same way and has seen a professional to put his mind at rest?

Are you bad at sports that involve a ball? One of the signs of Asperger's is very bad hand eye coordination. I knew someone with it as a kid and he couldn't pass a football 10 yards to save his life.

[WannaBang]

I was ok at tennis/badminton at school so I don't think so. I know I am not a complete social retard (though I was in my teenage years and even early 20s) because I managed to get 33 notches. What bothers is me is the crazy effort to get those lays - only 8 of those were from day game and I have done almost 1500 approaches (a good portion of those other ones from tinder were in Mexico where it was super easy at the time). I know it could be worse, like there are guys who have only gotten 1 or even none from that number of approaches but its still appalling. My looks and style are definitely not bad. I'll never be considered 'attractive' objectively because I am shorter than average and have less than masculine facial aesthetics so that could be a factor, especially given how I am pushing for fast lays and notches as opposed to playing the provider 3+ dates game.

I think most likely I do not have aspergers because I am socially competent in most cases. I know when not to be blunt and to empathise for example. Switching between tasks is fine. I am sensitive but not overly so. A lot of my previous problems may well have been due to lack of socialisation growing up (and being bottom lobster in Peterson terms) but as some have mentioned, if you socialise more and stretch yourself as I have it can be fine. I think I am a decent conversationalist (and even if I am not I am still 10fold better than I was even a few years ago). There is just this nagging feeling that there must be reason I am getting 1/250 approach to lay ratio and constantly screwing up my dates despite so much effort.

I just figured it is a good idea to cover all bases - leave no stone unturned. I am going to do it eventually, will report back the results.

[Waqqle]

Yes, I have and I completely agree with Fortis. Sometimes the environment and people in it just suck. Even as a confirmed autist, I still found that my experience with women, social life, and other related things was improved so dramatically simply by leaving the US that I decided never to settle in the US again.

Simeon_Strangelight also made a good suggestion. There is no shame in getting a coach for social skills and game in the same way there is no shame in getting a coach for some other thing you are not good at right now, like swimming or tennis. If you ever find yourself in the same city as me, you're welcome to PM me and we can see if I can help you at all.

MongolianAbroad made a solid point, that being that, if you're able to have smooth social interactions with other men from all walks of life, it's unlikely you've got an actual issue. In my own case, I did have massive issues in this area that were very obvious to all, so much so that it got me fired from multiple jobs (not for misconduct, theft, coming in late, or anything like that; just for making people uncomfortable). To be honest, it made me feel like a monster and I needed therapy to get over that but it is a problem that I have since fixed because I became aware of its root. Once the root of a problem has been identified, it can be engaged.

I agree with Jetset as well. It is very helpful to hang around with and get people into your life who are socially successful and willing to mentor you in that area, especially those people who are not themselves naturals and who had to overcome similar if not identical issues to the ones that you face.

jamaicabound too is correct in my view. A lack of natural talent in a certain area does not necessarily equate to a complete inability to learn. Further, High Functioning Autism (which is the one you would have if you are capable of writing here) is typically associated with high IQ which means that, far from having an inability to learn one thing or another, you may in fact have an enhanced ability to catch up and pass others even though you may have started behind.

Jack Hughes made me laugh a bit and he isn't wrong. I have actually made effort to play this is a kind of eccentric Jack Sparrow walk whenever I feel myself getting off balance. Martial arts, working out, and learning latin dance (or any other form of ballroom dance) also helps greatly with this. Get to know your body mechanics.

By the way, godfather dust is right about not letting them medicate you. There is no psych med I am aware of that will not most likely worsen your situation if you indeed are autistic. Further, taking pills is not going to address the root cause of your problems, it will only numb you temporarily so that you notice them less (if it even does that). Drug addiction and vegetation is not a solution, game is.

[Waqqle]

(06-05-2018 04:21 PM)WannaBang Wrote:  

I think most likely I do not have aspergers because I am socially competent in most cases. I know when not to be blunt and to empathise for example. Switching between tasks is fine. I am sensitive but not overly so. A lot of my previous problems may well have been due to lack of socialisation growing up (and being bottom lobster in Peterson terms) but as some have mentioned, if you socialise more and stretch yourself as I have it can be fine. I think I am a decent conversationalist (and even if I am not I am still 10fold better than I was even a few years ago). There is just this nagging feeling that there must be reason I am getting 1/250 approach to lay ratio and constantly screwing up my dates despite so much effort.

I just figured it is a good idea to cover all bases - leave no stone unturned. I am going to do it eventually, will report back the results.

You probably don't have it but definitely let us know the test results. In my case, the testing went on for about a month and a half. It's not like filling out a questionnaire (though I did a couple of those too).

That said, it never hurts to improve your game (social and romantic/sexual skills) through study and practice whether you are normal or not. As for your ratio, this could again have a lot to do with the country and specific location within that country in which you are operating. As for your looks and height, have you considered growing and sculpting a beard to accentuate your jaw, getting a crew cut/high-and-tight to make your head look more rectangular, and moving to a place where you are closer to the average height for a male? Working out, as always, can only help things as well.

Here are some guys who would probably look less masculine with long hair and no beard but who look good with short hair and/or beards:

[Kentemo]

I have been in contact with autistic persons a big part of my life. My brother is also autistic.
If you would see him on the street, you wouldn't think anything is wrong. If you start to talk to him you will.

Really bad in socializing with strangers, don't want to make eye contact, can't keep focus, and intelligence works different as well.
If you ask fe what's 7 x 3 he won't know it. If I ask in what year did that movie came out or what kind of dinosaur is that, he will know the answer, and you can be 99% certain it will be correct.

After the doctor diagnosed my brother with autism, they wanted to test me too, since they thought I was the same. I was really anti-social and day dream a lot. The last is still true but travel made me A LOT more social and confident.

I am really happy my parents didn't want to test me when I was younger. I honestly don't want to know.
Don't look for an excuse, any limits you put on yourself are in your head. You're awesome , you can do anything!!

For me knowing I would be autistic, would probably make it worse. Who the fuck cares anyway? Maybe a bit of placebo effect.
Whenever I would approach (not that I am approaching a lot, I am a beginner) , that thought would be in the back of my mind.

Also, my mother used to be part of the management of an autistic non-profit that had a lot of events. So when I was like between 7-14 years old I came in contact with all kinds of autistic persons.

There's different levels of autism, and I feel like a lot of people that want to be left alone, or that have one slightly weird characteristic is labeled autistic these days.

If you're asking this question, I would say don't sweat it. Will you feel happier if you test yourself?

[Echovoid_52]

(06-03-2018 04:57 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Sometimes it may not be you. Could be the environment you're in. You're based in the West, right? Do you find that when you leave dating suddenly feels much easier, almost like you're finally in a non-toxic environment? You may not be autistic, you might just be a normal dude dealing with a suboptimal dating market that doesn't really prize your traits.

Of course, you can improve your game and get diagnosed and stuff, but you should probably start planning your exit. At some point, your game will get better but you realize that you're fighting over massively damaged women, so it's like a lose-lose.

Good post. I know so many dudes, myself included, who admitted they felt mentally ill by interacting and socializing with those in the Western dating market. The sexual market place of the west is cruel, vicious, callous and ultra-competitive. People are straight up sociopathic. Ghosting is not only a norm, but a certainty and getting quality pussy is no easy feat.

I went out with my friends a few weeks ago to some university college bars and it reminded me the hell I was in before I discovered South East Asia and exotic women. First off, the bar we were in was absolute AIDS/HIV. A Bunch of sweaty gross chicks grinding on every dude they could see but the problem in the west is nobody puts out!!! It's all one giant tease. I see these Alpha dudes, dudes who are waaaaaayyy more Alpha then me, struggling to game these below average looking chicks and get them home. They get numbers, they buy them drinks and they have hour long conversations with them, yet everyone goes home alone. It's a sickening culture. Their is no genuity. You start to have doubts when people behave towards you this way. Am I problem? Is the culture the problem? Are these people all psychopaths? Why is everyone so insincere? And that failure to adapt to such an environment can feel like Autism, but it's just one being at odds with a society in decline.

[Green-On-GO]

(06-05-2018 04:09 PM)Jack Hughes Wrote:  

(06-03-2018 04:42 AM)WannaBang Wrote:  

I know there are online multiple choice personality tests to give a rough idea but has anyone gone to see a doctor to get a full in depth test for finding out where you sit on the spectrum of 'normal' and aspergers/autistic?

I'm not saying I think I have this problem but sometimes I wonder if I might be limited in some ways which is butchering my success with dating and day game which I may not be aware of. Could be nothing but I am just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same way and has seen a professional to put his mind at rest?

Are you bad at sports that involve a ball? One of the signs of Asperger's is very bad hand eye coordination. I knew someone with it as a kid and he couldn't pass a football 10 yards to save his life.

Most dudes really good at Crossfit have really bad hand eye co ordination..Embarrassingly bad at ball sports of any type .Alot I met where just weird cats socially.

I know another fat aspie dude who has taken on crossfit and become a Nazi at it..But its given him a community that is a good thing.

Chicks pick up on aspie and autism way more than dudes..It doesn't matter how good looking the dude is chicks are mercilessly cruel to them.Unless its family.

I think if you think you are aspie get into some kind of art form like dance, painting, acting ,comedy,photography etc etc..Develope passion for beauty instead of robot like passion for numbers and objects.

The thing with daygame is ...and I'm no good at it..but I never got the mindset of 1000 approaches means you are really good..Could it just mean you have no emotional intelligence?

I think the artistic side of pick up is ignored with concentration on looks lift and cash..The other type of guy wildly successful is the artistic dude .Combine lifting looks maxing and cash with artistic hobbies.

I use to go to comedy nights and I picked up a few times..young chicks..I thought it was cause I was cool alpha etc etc..I see now it was because I had passion for stand up comedy and talked with passion on the subject..I was passionate about the art I loved it..

So to round yourself out if you are failing take up an artistic passion in my opinion.You got to radiate out whether you are goodlooking or not.


Now look at all the big daygamers..It seems they all have a art form or pretend.EG..BEING A MUSICIAN..being a photographer....Most have IG with some kind of art form pic.

[Waqqle]

(01-27-2019 09:19 PM)Green-On-GO Wrote:  

Chicks pick up on aspie and autism way more than dudes..It doesn't matter how good looking the dude is chicks are mercilessly cruel to them.Unless its family.

Confirmed. If a female, especially a Western(ized) female spots something off about you, she will keep digging and twisting her finger into that psychic wound for as long as you let her. Remember that men evolved to attack our problems physically whereas women evolved to attack their problems psycho-emotionally. This is why females bullying each other in high school looks different from males bullying each other in the same environment. Male bullies tend to physically assault their victims whereas female bullies attack the reputations, self-esteem, etc. of their victims by trashing them on social media, spreading malicious rumors about them, and so on as swell as, like happened to me when I was growing up, mocking and insulting male victims in front of others because they know that the male victims are prohibited from physically stopping them and said victims are also, for whatever reason, not as good as they are at the social manipulation game and so cannot turn the crowd to their side.

I got bullied constantly growing up myself but the females were the most cruel and vicious because they utilized the male bullies to attack me and, unlike the males (whom I also usually was prohibited from striking due to the utterly retarded "zero tolerance policy" on violence in the school system I grew up in - I still broke one guy's nose with a headbutt in the bathroom but I got concussed in that fight and I lost more fights than I one), I was socially forbidden from laying so much as a finger on them but they would never be punished for their behavior because they were not being physically violent directly (though they manipulated the males into inflicting violence on me). Males evolved to beat the hell out of our problems. Females evolved to manipulate males into beating the hell out of their problems.

In adulthood, male bullying gets controlled to a great degree by laws and things of that sort but female bullying, due to its usually non-physical nature, is not and so female bullies go their whole lives without ever being checked. They get used to behaving in the same awful way they did growing up and just carry it into whatever grown-up space they decide to insert themselves into. I have even reduced (to the point of ceasing) communication with at least one of my close female relatives because they have a habit of putting me down in front of other people and, since I obviously can't just backhand them, my response is to cut ties and direct my time and energy into a direction that is less likely to upset me.

The quantity and caliber of negative experience I've had in my own case has made me pretty much impervious to female criticism because, nowadays, I genuinely don't take them seriously until I have already established at least some rapport with them. There is virtually nothing bad that a female can say or do to me within the confines of the law that has not been said or done already and I am just not reactive to it anymore in the way that I was when I was younger and less experienced. So why should I be put off by their harsh words or manipulation as if it were something new that I haven't already encountered before? Further, why would I waste time on a terrible female when I could just move on and have another girl who isn't insufferable, such as one of my plates, keep me company instead? This realization brings serenity.

This is one more reason, as if we needed another one, to not care what women say or think and not take them seriously. Referring back to some rules I mentioned a while back, have a clear set of rules and boundaries that you will not tolerate her crossing. This gives her reason to respect you while also giving you a way to measure when it is not worth it anymore and you should just ditch her.

Quote:

I think if you think you are aspie get into some kind of art form like dance, painting, acting ,comedy,photography etc etc..Develop passion for beauty instead of robot like passion for numbers and objects.

I think the artistic side of pick up is ignored with concentration on looks lift and cash..The other type of guy wildly successful is the artistic dude. Combine lifting looks maxing and cash with artistic hobbies.

I use to go to comedy nights and I picked up a few times..young chicks..I thought it was cause I was cool alpha etc etc..I see now it was because I had passion for stand up comedy and talked with passion on the subject..I was passionate about the art I loved it..

So to round yourself out if you are failing take up an artistic passion in my opinion.You got to radiate out whether you are good looking or not.

Now look at all the big daygamers..It seems they all have a art form or pretend.EG..BEING A MUSICIAN..being a photographer....Most have IG with some kind of art form pic.

This is solid advice. Utilize that singular weirdo focus to get really good at something. Find a niche to make yourself a heavy hitter in. You can also leverage the robotic passion for numbers and objects to deconstruct skills like drawing and playing an instrument so as to learn them faster and more efficiently, as in Tim Ferriss' DiSSS (deconstruction, selection, sequencing, and stakes) and MED (Minimum Effective Dose) methods of rapid skill acquisition.