[Soerenballe]

So this happened. I am trying a new strategy involving a 3 dates for sex strategy. A nice walk outside close to my place - following up with coffee at my place. If all goes well a second date another time at a venue. Third time home date with bang. The overall aim is to spend less money and reduce calory intake from alchol before I get the girl really hooked while also gauging her interest and finding out how much I really like her.

Anyway, this strategy has had an excellent start and has already payed off but something happened this saturday.

I met the girl, whom I was going on a walk with and she seemed ok looking. Kinda insecure and talking a lot - a good sign for a I could keep my composure easily and feel out all her signs. The walk is long - like 45 minutes and as we get back to my place, I casually offer her coffee “as per my plan” which she accepts.

I normally have this rule that I try to avoid messing about with girls on the first date, particularly without alchohol as this has failed me in the past - problem is that all the signs that she wants to be kissed are there, so I decide to go for it anyway. It kinda acellerates and suddenly half her clothes are almost off. She turns out to have a killer body. I do decide not to firmly push to seal the deal because I tell myself I want to play it longer term. I have to let her go because I had f-date with a different girl.

Here’s the problem. I wrote her following and asking her to come to my place for Netflix and chill. She responded by asking for a drink and talk - let’s get to know eachother date, which I was not cool with because it made me feel I was losing my frame with her.

Did I fuck up? Should I have pushed for sex when she was on my be drinking coffee with me?

What ensued was me kinda beta-ing out a little bit because she declined to my house. I texte her the whole situation made me feel “weird” and she’s kind of bought into that but still pushes for the chat date.

While I don’t believe that de-escalation early in the dating has ever brought anything good with other than disappointment, I really do want to fuck her.

What should I do? She afsked for a wednesday date and I am contemplating writing her a short commandlike text givingher instructions to meet me at this and this bar wearing this and this oufit and try to make things happen anyway.

Comments?

[Winston Wolfe]

She got confused because you escalated and then suddenly stopped. You should've gone for the kill right then and there. Strike while the iron is hot.

After that, you lost frame by being bummed out about her not wanting to come over again.

Meeting her for a drink and chat means buying into her frame, but you can gain some of the frame back by doing it on your terms. I'd say your own suggestion is a good one; you decide when and where it happens.

The fact that she wants to see you again says enough. Game's not over yet.

The fact that she was willing to bang after a 45 minutes daytime sober date says even more though. Looks like all you need to do is bring out that slutty side again.

Interested to hear how it plays out!

[Soerenballe]

So I did say things during the whole crazy make-out session that might have been construed as confusing, I was in a kind of state of disbelief and not sure how to go about it so I instinctively used some out of conext game from a friend that I am not so sure was the right move - so yeah she miiiight have become unsure about med for that reason but most likely she just wants to see if it can "really go somewhere" by going for casual drinks at a bar. Little does she know.

Besides the rejection (which I only care about because I fucked up my frame and blame myself), I looking at expenses at the bar, time and of course calories while exploring her interesting personality and try to get her horny again. I do face decisionmaking in the topic today though my thoughts are this - trying to regain frame by a veey daring approach and tapping into what you describe as her slutty side.

I will not invite her back over for now.

I will invite her for cocktails at a place down town where I sucessfully had sex with a girl in their bathroom before. I will try to get her comfortable and get her in the zone. As we her to the point where we finish out drinks I will whisper in her er that I am going to the bathroom and she is to follow me in 3-5 minutes. If she IS willing to be led by me that will give me back my frame and if not, well, I can always return, grab my coat and leave.

Maybe I should even let her buy the first round. Hmm...

[Winston Wolfe]

(03-05-2018 08:45 PM)Soerenballe Wrote:  

I am trying a new strategy involving a 3 dates for sex strategy. A nice walk outside close to my place - following up with coffee at my place. If all goes well a second date another time at a venue. Third time home date with bang. The overall aim is to spend less money and reduce calory intake from alchol before I get the girl really hooked while also gauging her interest and finding out how much I really like her.

(03-06-2018 07:04 AM)Soerenballe Wrote:  

I will invite her for cocktails at a place down town where I sucessfully had sex with a girl in their bathroom before. I will try to get her comfortable and get her in the zone. As we her to the point where we finish out drinks I will whisper in her er that I am going to the bathroom and she is to follow me in 3-5 minutes.

I know the highlighted quotes don't cover the entire context but it did crack me up.

Hope it works out!

[Montrose]

I try to maintain my calorie intake to 175 kcal per girl, and no more than 8 grams of pure alcohol. Sugar is a concern too.

[PondScum]

Escalating is complex, and requires hours of reading blogs and watching infield videos to even begin to comprehend. I hear that universities are excellent places to spend four years learning the basics.

Fortunately, I have found a video that condenses the important parts into under a minute! Please pay me in litecoin if you find this info valuable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZPkBHYIYc0

But seriously, what are you asking? You have a naughty trout tearing her clothes off in your place.... unless you stab her in the eye with your dick, I don't see how you can go wrong. And I bet some girls are even into that too. I just haven't met her yet, sigh...

"I do decide not to firmly push to seal the deal because I tell myself I want to play it longer term."

If she's DTF so easily with you, do you really want to invest in her as a long term gf? It's a bit of a red flag if you're really looking for a relationship, which it sound like you aren't because you say "I have to let her go because I had f-date with a different girl."

[Kangaroo]

She agreed to come to your place for "coffee", your didnt give her the coffee she was expecting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-skZx5liyaM

[Soerenballe]

Ok, so it totally bummed and it was getting too weird. For me the morale is that if things do escalate beyond kissing or maybe even to kissing go all the way through right then and there.

Yeah maybe her sluttyness does indicate that she is not GF material. Thx for the comments, I appreciate it. Trucking on...

[PondScum]

Oh well, plenty more trout in the pond.

Remember the old wisdom that you are much less likely to be punished for pushing (intelligently) for sex than not. If she won't let you go all the way and you're cool about it after making your intent clear, that's 100x better for the future than if she's bursting for a bonk and you don't supply.

[Chetthebaker]

A girl you bang on the first date can still be girlfriend material. Some wisdom straight from Bang, paraphrased:

At this early stage you needn't be concerned with a relationship. Bang her. Seal the deal as quickly as possible. After a few weeks of banging you can then take stock of how things are shaping up and whether you enjoy spending time with her.

In human primates, females have the final say in whether sex actually happens. She offered it. By not banging when, you were trying to make her fit in a relationship box of your own creation. She, however, was in the 'bang now' box.
Know for next time. Get in that box if she's opening the door.