obvs you wouldnt say this to ONS. and the chick isnt necesarrily fat but not thin either. is there any way to broach this type of subject?
telling a chick to lose weight
"You'd be cuter if you lost weight"
No mercy. Mercy is what got us into this sad state that we're in.
No mercy. Mercy is what got us into this sad state that we're in.
Be careful with this one. I have lost a few "thick" girls this way. They are very sensitive about their body.
"What's the ideal weight for your height and build?"
Subtler, but effective.
Subtler, but effective.
Let her catch you in bed with a thinner woman. She'll catch on.
If you're game is tight, your girl will be insecure. You won't have to tell her these things. If your game is weak, well....
Quote: (09-18-2011 08:47 PM)MikeCF Wrote:
If you're game is tight, your girl will be insecure.
+1.
But if your girl has a weight problem, the tighter your game gets, the more weight she might gain. Food is a comfort thing, and comfort is what she's going to seek when she is sitting around and thinking about how you're swimming in a sea of other available pussy, as her calls are getting returned with a little less frequency than usual.
I've found that if I have a lady around who needs to lose a few pounds, she naturally becomes insecure when she sees me eating very healthy and working out six days/week and will start trying to work out as well.
If the weight is a problem, move on.
Frankly, unless she has expressed some interest in self-improvement, I wouldn't touch that conversation.
Frankly, unless she has expressed some interest in self-improvement, I wouldn't touch that conversation.
Quote: (09-18-2011 08:47 PM)MikeCF Wrote:
If you're game is tight, your girl will be insecure. You won't have to tell her these things. If your game is weak, well....
1. Plenty of fat chicks are insecure, but still don't do anything to get skinnier. It's not as simple as placating you with gifts.
2. They have fattitude... they figure because you're banging them, they're already good enough. And if they aren't, you must be a loser for settling for their fat ass (God is my witness I once heard this directly from a fattie's mouth, after telling her to lose weight).
Has anyone here actually pulled it off?
IMO, you must have a strong degree of control over her life, as you *might* in an exclusive LTR, or she must have the will to lose it for herself. It's like self-improvement generally - you can't really offer it to the people who don't seek it. They aren't willing to swallow their pride and change. Is she really willing to give up that mocha ice blended with breakfast every day?
Maybe your best bet is signing her up with something like Crossfit. It's not because of the grueling workouts; I hate Crossfit, but chicks respond to social pressure like nothing else, and being surrounded by fitness and nutrition fanatics is gonna be more effective than a guy banging her telling her what to do. Maybe if she's surrounded by say, zealous paleo dieters, she'll make the small step of eliminating sugary drinks from her diet. Most chicks can't do much of anything without a support group cheering them on.
The one thing I admire about guys into game, at least the guys I've met, even if they suck, is that they're generally open to criticism and advice. You tell them something they're doing wrong, they'll listen, consider it, and try to correct it if they agree. But most people aren't like that, they aren't willing to objectively evaluate their own habits and behaviors. They may even see their superficial flaws as inherently who they are.
Install one of those circus fun house mirrors in her bathroom
The ones that make u look fatter than u really are
The ones that make u look fatter than u really are
Basil, while I don't claim to have 'pulled it off'.. I am in the processes. This is probably one of the toughest things I have ever attempted and really dont recommend it unless you are pretty serious about her as a LTR.
If you aren't at least considering banging this girl LTR why even bother?
If you aren't at least considering banging this girl LTR why even bother?
I don't bother with asking chicks to lose weight. If I'm seeing a girl who could lose a few pounds I get them to come run / work out with me... that way you end up A) getting them to exercise, B) getting her thinking you're interested in hanging out with her, C) taking her home for a shower bang afterward. You can't force these chicks to change, it's MUCH easier to drop them for someone else unless she's already losing weight (as ea303 mentioned).
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
It's pointless to try to change them, though if it's a small flaw in an otherwise good LTR the best way is to lead by example. Talk about how you love working out, how it makes you feel great, etc. Cook healthy food with her and see if she catches on.
If you're in great shape and clearly have options this should get her off her ass. If not, she's unlikely to want to change. Girls get complacent when they get comfortable that you're sticking around.
I like the Crossfit / group pressure idea.
If you're in great shape and clearly have options this should get her off her ass. If not, she's unlikely to want to change. Girls get complacent when they get comfortable that you're sticking around.
I like the Crossfit / group pressure idea.
"A flower can not remain in bloom for years, but a garden can be cultivated to bloom throughout seasons and years." - xsplat
PS: I was arguing with my sister yesterday about fat chicks, over IM. We're both pretty slim, but she apparently has fat friends. She goes on with all the standard BS: it's hard to lose weight, guys have it easier than girls. Have to straighten her out on this, but anyway...
I say to her "You say its hard to lose weight, when most girls cant cook at all." She says, what, I don't understand. I explain, "if you cant be bothered to learn how to cook, you probably can't bother to learn how to lose weight," and to eat in a healthy fashion. In America, if you cannot cook for yourself, you are virtually guaranteed to eat poorly and become fat. She still doesn't see the connection.
This is the mentality you're running up against. Girls have no effing clue of cause and effect, they just want to flail their arms and whine for sympathy and pity. They have skinny girls like my sister at their side, ready to defend their gluttony. You're a tyrant - if it were so easy, "Why are so many of my friends not thin by society's standards?"
Another thing about the Crossfit tactic, people and girls especially can get downright cultish when they join it. That may be what it takes, to counter the massive gravitational pull of her fattie friends.
I say to her "You say its hard to lose weight, when most girls cant cook at all." She says, what, I don't understand. I explain, "if you cant be bothered to learn how to cook, you probably can't bother to learn how to lose weight," and to eat in a healthy fashion. In America, if you cannot cook for yourself, you are virtually guaranteed to eat poorly and become fat. She still doesn't see the connection.
This is the mentality you're running up against. Girls have no effing clue of cause and effect, they just want to flail their arms and whine for sympathy and pity. They have skinny girls like my sister at their side, ready to defend their gluttony. You're a tyrant - if it were so easy, "Why are so many of my friends not thin by society's standards?"
Another thing about the Crossfit tactic, people and girls especially can get downright cultish when they join it. That may be what it takes, to counter the massive gravitational pull of her fattie friends.
Quote: (09-19-2011 02:10 AM)Lumiere Wrote:
Install one of those circus fun house mirrors in her bathroom
The ones that make u look fatter than u really are
Ohh dude. Mess with the calibration of the bathroom scale. That would be amazingly funny.
Team Nachos
Consistently talk to thinner girls in her presence.
Talking to girls you don't know in the company of girls you do know is the solution to...everything.
Talking to girls you don't know in the company of girls you do know is the solution to...everything.
DISCLAIMER: I don't know what I'm talking about and my posts are opinion, not advice.
Quote:Gmac Wrote:
your time > her feelings
I don't know if I would be the one to bring it up. Usually a girl will know if she needs to lose weight. There's a girl after me right now that is around a 5 that could easily be an 8 if she lost some weight. She says she needs to lose weight and I just don't really say anything. I think she's fishing for the "oh you don't need to lose weight" deal but I don't ever give them that if they really do need to lose some. I usually suggest some ways to lose weight like running and changing eating habits. I never come right out and say "you need to lose weight."
My friend used to moo at his girl. Lol
Team Nachos
Seriously, guys?
I'm sorry, but if you're crazy about a girl, you shut up and keep her with her faults. If you're not crazy about her, then move the hell on.
Presuming we're talking the usual level of attachment that is assumed in relationship around these parts, you're talking about a three week bang who you don't intend to marry. If that's the case, move.
Changing her? Come on -- changing people is girl game.
I'm sorry, but if you're crazy about a girl, you shut up and keep her with her faults. If you're not crazy about her, then move the hell on.
Presuming we're talking the usual level of attachment that is assumed in relationship around these parts, you're talking about a three week bang who you don't intend to marry. If that's the case, move.
Changing her? Come on -- changing people is girl game.
Suggest that doing yoga makes a girl sexier, and if she's a broke student pay the fees for the discounted school yoga classes at her school plus some minor ambivalence about the relationship. Try to get her to exercise with you constantly, do it as couple activity, cook together, etc. Carrot's work better than sticks. If she doesn't bite then it's not worth further effort.
I just did an assessment/ session for a female friend of a friend. I sort of knew who she was, but never talked to her (no attraction to overweight chicks). I do remember thinking, "Too bad, if she was slim she would be a knockout"
On Sunday I sat her down before we got into it. I looked her in the eye and told her the bullshit stops right here.
"Are you happy with your self?"
"Set some goals, and work HARD to achieve them. NEVER give up"
"Cut out the shit in your life. You know what it is."
She was a little taken aback, maybe even hurt, but she looked resilient. Some women would have cried. When I weighed her in, she was embarrassed. But I told her it might look bad, and there is A LOT of hard work, but it is possible to achieve her goals.
She emailed me today thanking me.... she is so stiff she can barely walk, but she had the best sleep in years and feels great.
I really hope she achieves her goals. Then she can help other chubsters and we can try and save the world one rhino at a time.
On Sunday I sat her down before we got into it. I looked her in the eye and told her the bullshit stops right here.
"Are you happy with your self?"
"Set some goals, and work HARD to achieve them. NEVER give up"
"Cut out the shit in your life. You know what it is."
She was a little taken aback, maybe even hurt, but she looked resilient. Some women would have cried. When I weighed her in, she was embarrassed. But I told her it might look bad, and there is A LOT of hard work, but it is possible to achieve her goals.
She emailed me today thanking me.... she is so stiff she can barely walk, but she had the best sleep in years and feels great.
I really hope she achieves her goals. Then she can help other chubsters and we can try and save the world one rhino at a time.
Quote: (09-19-2011 09:39 PM)mycleverid Wrote:
I'm sorry, but if you're crazy about a girl, you shut up and keep her with her faults.
I'm sorry, but that's fucking pussy. My cousin married a chick who couldn't cook at all. Was he supposed to just settle for TV dinners for the rest of his life? Fuck no. His wife learned to cook, and she makes amazing meals now, better than anyone I know.
There is a reason to move on if a chick is fat, and it's purely pragmatic. And there is reason not to devote yourself to a fat chick ever, as there are surely other things boiling under the surface.
This reveling in mediocrity, "be yourself," "accept them for who they are" is bullshit, and is responsible for why so many American women have become such contemptible creatures. Basic flaws like being fat are not endearing, nor do they make you a unique snowflake. If a woman is deficient as a wife or mother, she must try and right herself. Same for a man.
Quote: (09-18-2011 06:49 PM)endobendo Wrote:
is there any way to broach this type of subject?
You want to make it very clear to her that you are also fucking several other girls that are a lot thinner than her. Make the fat one fully aware that although you admire a lot of her qualities she's still fat.
Aloha!
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