[Argot]

Hey guys, long time lurker, first time poster.

Had a bunch of girls come home recently after dates and then no sex. One even was a second date. So, I was wondering... Is this normal or should I be worried that I'm doing something wrong after the pull? How many dates without sex do you usually tolerate? And when you reach your limit, do you hard next her without explanation? Or, assuming she likes you, is there some cool way to give her an ultimatum and instill some fear of loss in her?

Thanks for any advice you may have.

[Montrose]

If she comes to your place and no sex, I don’t see how you could see her again.

[Dulceácido]

You're lacking "calibration."

It all depends on what you want from this girl. Is she a one-night-stand, then the first night and she's out. Next.

Is she dateable, reasonably cool and you enjoy her company? Does she stimulate you mentally and share your interests? Then it could be many dates--don't forget, she's going to have friends you can poach, even if she doesn't work out for you sexually, she could still be a useful tool in your toolbox.

If you have nothing in common with her, her company is horrible, and you still want to fuck her. It's all going to depend on the vibe. If you're really into her and she's not into you and all you want is sex... I'd give it a couple shots. Maybe you were off your game one night, but since you didn't fuck her, you try to give it another go. No reason to keep trying like a thirsty simp. Move on. If she contacts you after that, a couple things could happen. She could be interested in you and friend-zoned you. "It's horrible! Aggggh, I wanted to fuck her so badly!" But, now you have to weigh her value as a friend (which you may or may not eventually fuck) who could be of use to you to breaking into her social network and fucking her friends....

It's chess, not checkers.

[General Stalin]

There is no golden rule to this. How many times you see a girl before she either gives it up or you give up on her is 100% dependent on you, her, and your game.

Some people prefer to bang on the first date, While others Prefer to wait for 3 dates.

I have gone on as many as 4 dates with a girl before cutting her off. At the same time there have been lots of girls I passed on after the first date with no bang.

It's entirely up to you.

Now, if you want to be fucking girls on the first date but are not succeeding then you need to work on your game and/or your pre-selection.

[Montrose]

(02-12-2018 03:32 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

There is no golden rule to this. How many times you see a girl before she either gives it up or you give up on her is 100% dependent on you, her, and your game.

Some people prefer to bang on the first date, While others Prefer to wait for 3 dates

Waiting for three dates is perfectly fine, but if she comes to your place and doesn’t put out she’s making fun of you. (Unless she’s a ‘serious’ girl and a virgin in which case marry her immediately - or she has a condition)

[Vill@in]

3 usually but I've made rare exceptions for waiting until 4.

If you're not smashing after 4 dates, not only are you doing something wrong, but you're also not exercising abundance mentality.

Way too many women out there to be wasting your time on a cock tease.

[worldtraveler3]

Depends on the country, in the most countries in the west should be no more than 3, but if you are in parts of the world where dates are not so defined as in America, may take a lot longer. A lot of countries just have the concept of hanging out, rather than the American concept of dates.

[heavy]

(02-12-2018 02:43 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

...
It all depends on what you want from this girl. Is she a one-night-stand, then the first night and she's out. Next.

Is she dateable, reasonably cool and you enjoy her company? Does she stimulate you mentally and share your interests? Then it could be many dates--don't forget, she's going to have friends you can poach, even if she doesn't work out for you sexually, she could still be a useful tool in your toolbox.

If you have nothing in common with her, her company is horrible, and you still want to fuck her. It's all going to depend on the vibe. If you're really into her and she's not into you and all you want is sex... I'd give it a couple shots. Maybe you were off your game one night, but since you didn't fuck her, you try to give it another go. No reason to keep trying like a thirsty simp. Move on. If she contacts you after that, a couple things could happen. She could be interested in you and friend-zoned you. "It's horrible! Aggggh, I wanted to fuck her so badly!" But, now you have to weigh her value as a friend (which you may or may not eventually fuck) who could be of use to you to breaking into her social network and fucking her friends....

It's chess, not checkers.

Bingo

[Greenjacket]

I think being firm works best. If she comes to my place or invites me to her place after a date I'll try to initiate something after some making out. If she refuses then I tell her that we aren't teenagers and I am not looking for a hand holding and kisses out of this relationship. If that is not acceptable then maybe we should see each other anymore.

So far this has worked every time i've had to use it, but you have to be willing to not care if the woman walks out after hearing this.

[Steelex]

If she isn't down to smash on the second date, then she's probably not that into you and sees you as a meal ticket.

Come to think of it, I've never really had anything serious with a girl who made me wait a few dates. If she's not totally into fucking, then she's not my kind of girl. That's just me though.

[polar]

Different perspective: does waiting feel like a chore? Figure out what your investment cut off is (such as three dates, no dinners, and or $50 total spend on her), and enforce it.

If you found her a pleasure to be around, you wouldn't look at it as the following (not a dig at you, just commentary):



Other than that, you need to work backwards. Break down how you pull, how you seed the pull, how you escalate during the date, what you typically do for a date, and the RVF hive mind can break down your weak points.

[Jetset]

(02-12-2018 03:50 PM)Montrose Wrote:  

Waiting for three dates is perfectly fine, but if she comes to your place and doesn’t put out she’s making fun of you.

This. This isn't junior high.

[Graft]

By date two she has to be at my place or me at hers. Whether I get a long makeout session or a bang I will still keep her on rotation. If she's freezing me out to slow makeouts at a bar on the second date, she's out.

I'd make exception for a virgin or low count. A double digit girl gets two dates tops.

[Steve McQueen]

Fatty - 1
Mid table - 2 (on the 1-10 range)
Top third - 3

However would always push super hard on date 2 in case the word friend appears in the conversation at which point you are screwed.

[ChefAllDay]

(02-12-2018 02:43 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

You're lacking "calibration."

It all depends on what you want from this girl.

This sums it up. Figure that out and act accordingly.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

This really depends. Are you getting handies or blowies at least? If not then 3 dates max I would wait.

And girls don't get taken out to dinner until sex happens. You can do drinks are fun activities in the mean time but dinner is a reward for a chick.

[Sidney Crosby]

Depends on the country, but as a general rule. I'd say if she didn't put out on the 3rd date I'd next her. If I wasn't that into her I'd next her after the first date if she didn't put out.

If it was for marriage and she was traditional I'd wait longer.

[brick tamland]

I agree w/ @polar. Review what's actually happening. Are you creating the right setup for the deed to be done? If so, the ones who are interested or not interested will be separated. Then it will not be completely an issue of having to next.

[Noir]

Is she not putting out because your game is weak

vs

Is she not putting out because she is a prude


Both are correlated to varying degrees.

[Glaucon]

2-3 dates is a good rule of thumb if you want more than a ons. Depends on the chemistry between you. Sometimes when the chemistry is huge, she will jump on you on the 2nd date, but that does not mean she is not ltr material. I had this happen, she turned out to be a great girlfriend.

Trust your gut feelings really.

[Roardog]

As has been said, it depends on what you want from the girl.

If her company is fun or she is particularly hot then I'd go 3 dates max and if you still get resistance on the 3rd date lay it out for her that you're both adults and you expect a sexual relationship.
That being said I went to 4 or 5 dates with a virgin once.

For most of the girls I've dated, if I get them home on the first date and they don't put out I next them as most of them weren't worth the investment of a second date.
Hell I've banged plenty of girls on the first date and then next them because the bang was average/crap or their company just wasn't that fun.

You need to assess each girl individually for how long you are prepared to wait.

On the other side, is your game off? Although seeing as you get them back to your place it seems you are doing something right.

[HankMoody]

Depends, but usually three.

However, if there's no kissing or heavy kino on the second date, you're probably dead in the water.

If you're making out, holding hands, and touching, I would let it go past three dates if she's hot and you're interested.

[griffinmill]

I've waited 4 dates before getting the bang.

If she's texting you and wanting to hang out, and on the date there's making out and kino, then she's just not wanting to be a slut rather than being a "time ho". Trust your instincts. If the dates are kind of lukewarm and lack chemistry, you may be wasting your time.

Regardless, 5 dates max. She would not make Christian Bale wait that long.

[The Alpha Virgin]

Everything has already been said I guess.

But what I hate and have noticed a few times is that I can bang a pretty average girl on the first date, and then a week or a few days after the bang, when we go and hang out a second time, they suddenly won't put out. It's like they've decided that they now need to show that they're prude and serious girlfriend material AFTER already getting dicked.

A few times I've had it happen after meeting a woman the second time after a bang and then when I've made moves to bang her again she have lashed out in a little rant how men just want to fuck and doesn't want anything serious to do with her and that has been the end of it all. Usually girls 25-40 years old who've been riding the cock carousel.

I also hate it when I can just tell that chick has been fucked on first dates before and had ONS but now tries to make me the bitchboy who has to wait and take her on multiple dates. Those types are on the other hand easy to fool into bed pretty fast anyway.

[RatInTheWoods]

I am a big fan of the "three date Kate" formula, and this is pretty much the timing unless you are banging unhygienic hoes.

Only once did I wait for more than 3-4 dates before bang, and in hindsight that was a mistake.

So 3-4 max.