[Westcoast99]

Just had a girl at work who has been giving me many IOI’s at work, some very blatant- comparing me to famous handsome actors. Get the digits and send some flirty texts then get an invite to her house party. A co worker told me she has a boyfriend but she hasn’t mentioned it to me in the week and a half I started talking to her.

Playing beer pong, cards, everything going good. But then I Tried to put my arm around her and she goes “i feel bad I think you may have gotten the wrong idea. I’m kind of seeing somebody. What did you expect to happen tonight?”

Me- “i thought we would hang out and you were into me but that’s ok. I mean when were you going to tell me all this with the other guy? Whatever it’s ok I gotta go, late night.”

Her- I’m so sorry! Thanks for coming! See you next week!

Me driving home- pissed off I couldn’t see the friend zone coming from a mile away.

Now I have to work with her 5 days a week for the next month. Not fun.

What’s a good follow up text to DHV if she texts me again something goofy like “I’m so sorry your such a nice guy!”
??

[Westcoast99]

Note- I didn’t just leave because of that comment, I was about to leave anyway as I felt uncomfortable at the party. (Didn’t know anybody, smoking weed, party was in the ghetto area of town, etc) This all happened on my way out in the living room. I was there for about 1 hr

This girl is not LTR material, especially seeing her at the party smoking weed, tequila, and cursing like a sailor. And I am looking for a LTR. However I still am not happy being used like that. Thank you.

[PapayaTapper]

It sounds like she was testing your mettle and (sorry to say) you failed.

But thats ok if you learn from the experience

Attractive women are rarely truly single. They "monkey branch".



But like a monkey they wont let go of the last branch until they have a solid grasp on the next one...its millions of years of biology reinforced by social pressure.

So they meet someone new that sparks their interest and might represent an"upgrade". But her wiring mandates a question: "hmm...how I know for sure?"

They test........(aka shit tests)

Is the new branch more socially connected cooler / fun / exciting / sexier / sexually competent?

Mind you, most of the time she doesn't even realize she's dong this but if she's not 100% sure of / committed to her current "situation" she will test to see if she's not getting everything she's entitled to

Sounds to me like this what she was doing

It sounds like you made your "move" (putting your arm around her):

1. Without establishing enough attraction
2. Openly and with no "plausible deniability"
3. A bit awkwardly
4.You cared what happened

Lack of confident move is like throwing a handful of sand in a vagina. And dry is not what you want her to be.

Top pussy desiccants (drying agents) ?

Boring
Awkward
Lack of confidence

So what could / should you have done?

Here are some possibilities

1. Flirt openly with other girls at the party. Let target girl see your "value"
2. Sexual-ize your conversation with target girl
3. Ignore the "boyfriend" comment. Was he there? If not then this was surely a test

What now?

They only way to fuck this girl is for her to see you with other girls into you. Hotter than her is preferable.

Act like you dont give a shit. She should think "He wanted to fuck me but doesn't seem to care that he didn't"

File it under "lesson learned"

Welcome to Game


Edit: There's a chance that the "boyfriend" doesn't even exist. An attractive girl will rarely admit they are not dating anyone as their own insecurities* ( and even the most beautiful girls have deep insecurities though they act like they dont)

Think about it. Being "unattached" means (in girl psyche) they're unwanted, they're ugly, their pussy stinks, etc, etc

* Identifying a super hot girl's insecurities and exploiting them is master level game.

[Mig Picante]

"I'm kind of seeing somebody" doesn't mean shit
Oh, okay. You probably shouldn't have asked me out.

You've seen her smoking weed and in a personal setting. She's not going to bring it up at work.
Just ignore her and don't mention it to the colleague that gave you the tip off.

If she texts you again. "Hi, who's this?"

[Mig Picante]

Nothing wrong with what you did.

You're a man that goes after what he wants. Good on you for having a crack rather than sitting around wondering.

[The Alpha Virgin]

Just act normal and unbothered about it. You did alright in my opinion.

And getting rejected and a few "humilations" like that is part of being in the game. It happens to every guy and it kind of humbles you and makes you lose your ego. After a while you stop giving a fuck and will just shrug your shoulders and not drive home pissed off if some girl flaked. Instead you'll see how it's her loss.

And in the future, I think it's a good advice to not shit where you eat.

[PapayaTapper]

delete dupe

[Leonard D Neubache]

(01-28-2018 06:47 AM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

...
Now I have to work with her 5 days a week for the next month. Not fun.

What’s a good follow up text to DHV if she texts me again something goofy like “I’m so sorry your such a nice guy!”
??

"And you're such a nice gal. (thumb up emoji)"

That will get her hamster spinning, though you should stay the fuck away from her anyway.

If she starts being flirty at work again you ask her, "so how's that guy you're kind of seeing?"

It's nice enough not to elicit hostility from her but awkward enough to shuffle the bitch on. If you want to get up in her shit then add, "do I hear wedding bells?"

[greekgod]

You weren’t embarrassed, you miscalculated.

Most likely, internally, you built this up to be something bigger than it is.

Don’t be butthurt, you said she isn’t LTR material, so you should be happy she revealed her cards.

In the future, play it like a prodding geologist, always sampling and testing so things are incrementally escalating towards a goal.

For what it’s worth, arm around before you’ve fucked in that type of setting is a mismatch.

[ksbms]

(01-28-2018 06:47 AM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

Just had a girl at work who has been giving me many IOI’s at work, some very blatant- comparing me to famous handsome actors. Get the digits and send some flirty texts then get an invite to her house party.[...]. I Tried to put my arm around her [...]. Now I have to work with her 5 days a week for the next month. Not fun.

As the old adage says, don't eat where you shit. Five minutes pleasure against weeks/months (or even years) of potential misery. You know you can approach women on the street, at a café, in a bar or in your social circle, right?

[Vaun]

I think its good that you learned early on in life that "gaming" women at work is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

Most men(and women) look for sex at work, because they have no lives outside of work, and dont meet members of the opposite sex outside of work, because they live highly sheltered lives.

I once saw a poor sap walk away from a $1M+ stock option grant, because some slag broke his heart.

And now in this day and age, "gaming" at work will open you up to the risk of sexual harassment lawsuits and destroying your career.

Your biggest mistake was "gaming" at work. Its not your bad game.

So go outside and approach women. Don't put your earning potential at risk. Dont be the lame ass sheltered guy that can only chase tail at work. Use work for what it is, work. Ignore the women you work with.

[Dulceácido]

If you find that little brush-off "humiliating," I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed running game on girls. That's what I call a "soft let-down." She didn't throw a drink in your face or make a big dramatic scene. She just said she had a boyfriend. No big deal.

Instead of saying, "Well, what's up with all that shit at work?" What I would've done, is to be completely un-phased and said, "Oh, that's great! What's he like? Tell me about him." Changes the whole frame. You can't brood and skulk off and get pissed. If you would've gone my route, there would be absolutely zero tension at work the next week.

[Jetset]

The fact that you were flirting and she invited you means you shouldn't be humiliated. It's not like she said "ew, what a freak".

You didn't take the temperature of the situation correctly, no harm no foul. Don't sulk or be weird about it. If you keep things normal, she's going to break up and need dick eventually. I wouldn't get into the whole "wow, I thought...why didn't you..." thing. Just "oh, whatever" will drive her crazier than anything else. Go bang her friends.

With that said, don't game at work.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-28-2018 06:47 AM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

Just had a girl at work who has been giving me many IOI’s at work, some very blatant- comparing me to famous handsome actors. Get the digits and send some flirty texts then get an invite to her house party. A co worker told me she has a boyfriend but she hasn’t mentioned it to me in the week and a half I started talking to her.

Playing beer pong, cards, everything going good. But then I Tried to put my arm around her and she goes “i feel bad I think you may have gotten the wrong idea. I’m kind of seeing somebody. What did you expect to happen tonight?”

Me- “i thought we would hang out and you were into me but that’s ok. I mean when were you going to tell me all this with the other guy? Whatever it’s ok I gotta go, late night.”

Her- I’m so sorry! Thanks for coming! See you next week!

Me driving home- pissed off I couldn’t see the friend zone coming from a mile away.

Now I have to work with her 5 days a week for the next month. Not fun.

What’s a good follow up text to DHV if she texts me again something goofy like “I’m so sorry your such a nice guy!”
??

Did you try to get a girl with a boyfriend in a party in the living room with her friends around?

Or did you try to close off her from all her friends (in another venue) and then try the escalation?

I'm asking this because you didn't tell, from what you wrote "This all happened on my way out in the living room" did you try the escalation in the living room?

[Westcoast99]

I had already determined I was leaving. I felt uncomfortable a little bit as these were all like 21 yr old Mexicans smoking weed, im 29 don’t smoke and white. But everybody was friendly and I was having a good time.

She was in living room just me and her friends were all on back porch, tried very light kino/escalation hoping to at least warm things up for a one on one date later. That’s when things went south. She keep saying just stay! Hang out for a while! But I politely left and she said see you next week.

Probably just came off as too quiet, too desperate, not enough social options. Thanks for all feedback. Humiliation might have been overstatement.

What game adjustments are needed for going after 18-21 year olds compared to 23-27 post college women? I’m 29 can easily pass for 25.

[ìlikegirls]

(01-28-2018 02:34 PM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

I had already determined I was leaving. I felt uncomfortable a little bit as these were all like 21 yr old Mexicans smoking weed, im 29 don’t smoke and white. But everybody was friendly and I was having a good time.

She was in living room just me and her friends were all on back porch, tried very light kino/escalation hoping to at least warm things up for a one on one date later. That’s when things went south. She keep saying just stay! Hang out for a while! But I politely left and she said see you next week.

Probably just came off as too quiet, too desperate, not enough social options. Thanks for all feedback. Humiliation might have been overstatement.

What game adjustments are needed for going after 18-21 year olds compared to 23-27 post college women? I’m 29 can easily pass for 25.

Rule #1 never take seriously what a woman says.

Rule #2 always try the escalation when when woman is isolated! specially if she is young, with her friends, and has a boyfriend!

You are 29 and she is 21? You want to know how to deal with younger girls?

with a 21 years old should be easier! just few years ago she was still playing with dolls, so less experience than you. I would just say it may require more careful calibration, than a 28 years old adult woman... but everywoman is different... so always it depends on her..

Usually is the game harder with girl from 23 to 28 years old since they are in their peak....

[Dulceácido]

I'd say the biggest adjustment is using texting and social media. My last gf was 20, I'm much older.It was tough getting used to almost 90% of our communications being through texts. The other 10% was on FaceTime. We almost never spoke on the phone. Get used to her constantly having her fucking phone in her face. It's annoying as shit. But, if you're going to date in that age range, that's what you're going to get.

Also be ready for them to suck at life. This girl was a spoiled brat from a very wealthy family and she could hardly function without someone doing everything for her. Kind of weird because she's a certified genius, but she couldn't do shit outside of the classroom other than eat, fuck, and play soccer. Meh. I got tired of that shit, so I ditched her. No regrets yet! It's been 5 months. She tried to communicate with me and get back together but it wasn't worth the fucking useless drama.

Edit: Man, you are getting some really bad advice from some people here.

[RatInTheWoods]

(01-28-2018 09:39 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

If she starts being flirty at work again you ask her, "so how's that guy you're kind of seeing?"

Bang on top advice.

Everytime she talks to you, find some way to mention her bf strait away.

Steer clear, find another woman - there are billions out there...

[Dalaran1991]

Funny, I just run some trolling "I have a bf" game, in a similar vein to what Leonard said.

There's this cute Russian chick I knew for quite a while but broke contact 3 years ago, bitch was fucking annoying. Randomly hit her up the other day.
Got a text back "Hey I was just thinking about you this morning! It's unbelievable".
Tell her to go join me and the crew. She came dolled up, no hassle.

Still boring as fuck (I noticed FSU girls have fucking boring life), but a lot more compliant than your average Parisian bitch.
Eventually she drop the bf line. Usually I next, but tonight I was the organizer, so that's game on.

So I was like: "Wow, you manage to find a guy who want to be with you? He must be a keeper!"
Of course bitch was like: what no, he's nice and I'm a nice girl too.

Throughout the night I was never gonna let it slide when I have to talk to her:

"Hey you gotta bring your bf next time. He must have the patience of a saint to be with you"
"He's like Jesus, he stays with you and took all the sins for us".
"Give me his number, in case you misbehave I'll call him"

Her face reaction was priceless.

[HankMoody]

This is an easy one.

You act like nothing happen and you treat her nicely. Dial back the amount of attention you pay her.

Learn from experience and move on to the next.

Trying to "punish" her because you failed to seal the deal is just immature and serves you no benefit.

[kaotic]

Yep, being salty after that experience doesn't help ESPECIALLY if you work with her.

Also, don't shit where you eat, MAYBE if it's some shitty start/dead end job.

One major key here is turf wars.

I'd never go to some new chicks house that I hardly knew, especially for a house party.

ilikegirls pointed out isolation - this is key, if you had taken her out one on one and built some comfort you might of been able to kiss her OR bring her back to your place.

You didn't feel comfortable and your gut told you so - that's not a bad thing.

You were out of your element, that throws your game off.

I've rarely gone over to a girls house, especially if I hardly know her, even rarer is me going to social events with her.

[Westcoast99]

UPDATE: chick just texted me asking if I was busy lol.

Haven’t responded don’t plan on to for at least a few hours.
(We both have today off)

[Dulceácido]

(01-29-2018 05:10 PM)Westcoast99 Wrote:  

UPDATE: chick just texted me asking if I was busy lol.

Haven’t responded don’t plan on to for at least a few hours.

HEY-OHHHH!

You could still use the "Who dis?" line, if you wanted to.... Just sayin'. LOL

[Westcoast99]

Nah too soon she would know I was trying hard to play to hard to get. I’ll see her tomorrow may not even respond.

[kaotic]

Don't respond, just chill out when you see her and act the same and act like you don't care.

If she asks why you didn't respond, just tell her you were busy and forgot.

Bonus points if she asks who, "a friend", leave it at that.