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Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?
#51

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Gents,

Many thanks for all of your replies. Very good to have a supportive sounding board and a diversity of stories and experience. I can say that this forum helped push me towards what I am now certain is the right direction.


POST-SCRIPT
Instead of waiting for a few weeks as I had planned, I send her a courteous message and arrange a phone call for the evening (yesterday evening). I provide the necessary prologue then I tell her I am breaking up with her. She doesn't take it well. She is angry. She protests. She insists she will change, that she hadn't appreciated before how much I valued honesty. She wants to video-call every night. She wants me to have her facebook log in and use it to monitor her as I please. I calmly list the reasons for the break-up (a repeat of the OP) and do my best to let her down gently. I let her speak. At the end of the phone call I re-qualify her and let her know that I will be blocking all contact from her. We end the phone call on polite terms.

As part of my attempt at letting her down gently, I reassure her I'm returning to focus on my career and studies, and that, in the future, if she ends up moving to Australia I would be happy to provide her with some career contacts in the health world. She seems emotionally more settled by this (perhaps adding to the theory that she was more in love with the concept of "a guy in Australia" than "me" in particular). While I make it clear that I this is a break up, I leave open the possibility of us meeting again at some time in the future, even as just friends.

I have some time to reflect. I talk to my mate Dream Medicine. After his good counsel and some further reflection I return to the conclusion that there is no way that re-establishing contact can be a good thing. And it is very likely to be a strong temptation in the future. (I have a pre-booked snowboarding trip in Japan in a few months time).

I read the official "No Contact" and "The Only Rule for Ex's" threads and am inspired.


FINAL ANALYSIS
I fell hard for this girl, and she for me. There were red flags and my intuition started to ping warning alarms early… but I was overwhelmed by her level of investment and good company. This was a combination of failed self-discipline on my part and spectacular gaming on hers. I also had doubts: was I simply being insecure, perhaps a commitment-phobe? Adding to the mix was the fact that this was an LTR evolving at long-distance. The times we spent together on her/my visits were always a honeymoon of good emotions, excitement and fun: We would bush walk, ice skate, hike, onsen, read to each other, movies and of course bang three or more times a day. We did not argue. In short, I waded in deep and all common sensibility was swallowed up.

The degree of my clouded decision-making is testified by my original post: Despite my earlier decision to break up with her on returning to my home country, a chat with her insisting on her complete devotion was enough to make me wonder about the possibility of continuing in some form. My thinking was to break all contact, resume it at a later date (6-9 months), and see where we were at. Decide then if a trial period of cohabitation might work: if she or I had moved on, it was a done deal. If not, perhaps it could work. Thanks to this forum, Dream Medicine, and some reflection, I realise now there is no future here apart from dramatic phone calls, more break-ups and… god forbid, a "committed" LTR in which I cannot trust and she sleeps around. In the words of Eugenics: "Nope. Noppity fucking nope. "


LESSONS FOR THE FUTURE
1. Even with a decade of game experience, I am still vulnerable to the excitement and professions of love offered by a beautiful woman who is nothing but bad news.

2. Where there is uncertainty about partner suitability, commit to the LTR. In this case, I decided to visit her home country and all was revealed. Had I backed out before then I suspect I might have been left with the doubt of having passed up a perfectly good partner. I feel more confident in heeding my early intuitions and listening to the early warning signs.

3. Time without contact and seeking non-biased third party opinion helps to un-cloud judgement. Consider time apart any time the throes of lust, passion and excitement present themselves. Be very wary of co-habitation unless you are absolutely sure she is commitment material – very hard to avoid contact in that situation.

4. Tinder is not the ideal place for the LTR search.

5. Screen for chemistry, sure. But consider this: girls who are loyal are less likely to be as exciting as the girls one has met for purely recreational purposes.

6. When breaking up with girls who you have strong emotions for (and who might also have good "game") have a strong resolve. Remind yourself of all of the negative aspects of the relationship before handing down the news (but do not allow this render you punitive/spiteful in the process).
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#52

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

There's a few inconsistencies in t OP's story the most glaring of which is that a high value, successful mid 30's guy with a "triple digit" notch count could or would get hung up on high drama post 30 "party girl".

That said I'll extend him the benefit of the doubt. In her case this stands out:

Quote:Quote:

She wanted to call me every night (always has, in fact). From all that I have seen of her previous LTRs she is a natural follower, and she in fact broke up (and, apparently, cheated on) her 3-year LTR in the last year of that relationship because he didn't want to settle down.

Girls don't "cheat" because a guy they would otherwise be faithful to doesn't want to settle down. If they want to make him settle down ?...they try harder.

They cheat cause another guy "tingled" her fancy.


Run Forrest run

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Reply
#53

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 07:39 AM)Phineas Wrote:  

Quote: (01-24-2018 01:20 AM)Laner Wrote:  

1. Japanese women over 30 have MAD game.

2. Sex in Japan is not a big of a deal as it is in the west.

3. Japanese women in shitty relationships cheat. See above.

That's interesting. This girl spoke good enough english for me not to really pay much attention to the cultural factors. Is there anything culturally specific you have observed that indicates a Japanese girl is more likely to cheat (apart from her age)? Anything different to girls from other parts of the world that is.

I have spent a lot of time in Japan, and one thing that I love about it is that if a girl speaks great English, she will often be easy to fuck. There are exceptions of course, but not enough to make me forget the norm.

Japanese couples often end up in sexless and loveless relationships. Comfort is a big part of life, and they understand that its much more comfortable to have someone to warm their bed and travel to Guam with than to be alone. Men also need to have a wife to have any shot of moving up the corporate ladder, as it shows stability and that they aren't a complete loser.

There are a lot of women in Japan that do not see banging prostitutes as cheating. Soapland is labeled 'Health' for fuck sake. When wives call their man "husband" or "father" at home, much of the spark is going to go away. So the husband hits hostess bars, or if he has more swagger, brothels and Seeking Arrangement. The wife becomes a sexual camel until one evening after two glasses of wine some player makes the right moves. Never any LMR. No feelings of shame.

Papya is right. She did not cheat because she was bored. She cheated because she found something shinier to chase after. The former is easily solved; Bang the hell our of your Japanese girl. The ladder, is just a massive red flag and should be avoided.

You made the right call. Me personally, I probably would have gamed her to the level she was gaming me. But you were falling hard for he, which happens in the game even for guys with experience. Hence, eject!
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#54

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

No girl is worth this long of a post.
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#55

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

[Image: 3ZCfwb.png]
Press the "+" sign to quote multiple posts, and only click reply for the last one.

Likes denote appreciation, not necessarily agreement |Stay Anonymous Online Datasheet| Unmissable video on Free Speech
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#56

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

The heart of these threads about some red flag woman is always a wager. Either bet on the girl or bet on yourself.

Bet that the girl, despite the evidence to the contrary, will remain loyal to you. She controls the outcome to this one, and you're just along for the ride. The greater odds are on her reverting back to type and inflicting great suffering to you. There's always the chance that maybe she does reform herself and you can build a life with her. But are you willing to bet your life on it?

The other bet is betting on yourself. That you can get a better girl. That you can improve and find someone who's equally attractive without the baggage. It might not be easy. It might not be overnight. It will take considerable effort. But this is the bet that you should take.
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#57

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 09:34 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

There's a few inconsistencies in t OP's story the most glaring of which is that a high value, successful mid 30's guy with a "triple digit" notch count could or would get hung up on high drama post 30 "party girl".

[snipped]

Fair enough PT. Some skepticism is to be expected when a long post about a serious 'oneitis' comes from a new member who makes bold claims about his own skills and/or attractiveness. How many times has a rookie posted up "hey gents I just found game and wrote to introduce myself after lurking and I'm extremely good-looking"? [Image: lol.gif]

In this case, I can personally vouch for the integrity of the OP, Phineas. Furthermore, I have discussed this relationship with him in extensive detail and can confirm that his writings come from a position of candid expression. No sugar-coating, no exaggeration, just raw introspection and a genuine desire to consider the collective wisdom of RVF before pulling the plug.

[Image: giphy.gif]

Moving on, I've noted a few take-aways below, in addition to the points raised by Phineas in his epilogue -

Once player fatigue sets in -- as it will for almost all men sooner or later -- making the transition from (a) playing the field for years to (b) seeking a future wife let alone mother-of-your-children can be challenging in many ways. This is a whole new dimension of game. If you wanna pick a winner, you'll have to discard a range of tactics, mindsets, and unconscious behaviours developed through the consistent practice of pickup and harem management. I learned this the hard way.

In responding to a random query of "Should I persist or not in this relationship? Either way, where/how/why?" it is easy to just type in 4 letters: 'n-e-x-t', as eloquently summarised by Dalaran1991. Actually doing the nexting is a lot harder, especially when the guy in question has fallen into the spell of a siren before the warning signs had become starkly apparent. Now given that objective analysis is unfeasible coming from the bloke who has himself been smitten, it is important to seek counsel in a trusted circle that have both expertise (i.e., experience-based knowledge rather than mere speculative theory) and honourable intentions (D.O.B.A expands on this further). Here, the consensus from this thread is not just unequivocal, it's also aligned with the intuition of the OP. Sometimes we logically know what to do, but pushing through the emotional pain of separation is far from a simple, rational decision to make. Leonard DN outlines the immensely powerful, evolutionary imperatives underpinning this struggle. In times of such inner conflict we only have the brotherhood to rely on for detached yet caring advice.

In closing, this woman's game must have been masterful, especially considering the countless babes Phineas has plowed through over the past decade and more. Gas offers a piercing insight into this case study of precarious attachment, highlighting how even an expert seducer can fall hard for a dangerous woman:

Quote: (01-24-2018 04:28 AM)Gas Wrote:  

I think the fact that you're in triple digits and you can't see the enormous STOP sign flashing in front of you is a testament to girls having exponentially better game than guys.

Girls are naturals at manipulating and deceiving men into getting anything they want. This girl in your story is a Grade A Thot who has a double digit cock count, cheated, lied to your face, I won't even mention all the other obvious red flags, and she almost had you inviting her to your country to wife her up and start homemaking. Masterful.

The subtlety of the tools they use is sinister. It can be something as small as a sweet look she gives you when she wakes up, a stroke of your chest when you're laying together, a cute little laugh - she's gaming you, she's doing all these small things that will pile up and make you fall in love with her. They do it almost on autopilot, it is natural to them, but they know exactly what is happening. And then the most obvious weapon - the pussy. Wild, enthusiastic sex will have a blue piller thinking about ring shopping in less than a month. I remember the first girl who pulled me out of her pussy, sucked the come out of my dick and swallowed. I was ready to wife her up almost instantly (she also turned out to be a psycho bitch trying to swindle me into marriage and kids; RVF helped me get that girl, and also saved me from her).

You spend enough time with women, and observe, I mean really observe what they are doing, and you will notice how far ahead they are, and how brilliant it all is. When a woman truly learns how to wield this power, she will be rich, probably famous, with a long line of men she's extracted it all from running behind her. Certainly a few celebrities or even women you know will come to mind.

[snipped]

[Image: potd.gif]

- DM

Signing out with a relevant tune from DJ Paul ft. Yelawolf & Jon Connor, "Get Away" -




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#58

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

It takes a special type of whore to whore so hard in Japan. A thousand times no.
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#59

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Everyone knows you never try to turn a ho into a housewife. Cmon man this ain't the newbie section.





Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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#60

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

I say well done to the OP on nexting her. Just because you have been a player doesn't mean you aren't vulnerable to a beautiful woman with game once you are in the player fatigue stage. It can be really hard, but with a bit of time and NO CONTACT you'll be ready for something better.

Dr Johnson rumbles with the RawGod. And lives to regret it.
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#61

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-25-2018 07:08 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

Quote: (01-24-2018 09:34 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

There's a few inconsistencies in t OP's story the most glaring of which is that a high value, successful mid 30's guy with a "triple digit" notch count could or would get hung up on high drama post 30 "party girl".

[snipped]

Fair enough PT. Some skepticism is to be expected when a long post about a serious 'oneitis' comes from a new member who makes bold claims about his own skills and/or attractiveness. How many times has a rookie posted up "hey gents I just found game and wrote to introduce myself after lurking and I'm extremely good-looking"? [Image: lol.gif]

In this case, I can personally vouch for the integrity of the OP, Phineas. Furthermore, I have discussed this relationship with him in extensive detail and can confirm that his writings come from a position of candid expression. No sugar-coating, no exaggeration, just raw introspection and a genuine desire to consider the collective wisdom of RVF before pulling the plug.

Yous vouch for him?




Ok youre in...he's in...

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Reply
#62

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

How deep is your knowledge of Japanese culture and society? Without posting a dissertation on the subject, the short of it is that an unmarried Japanese woman in her 30s has very limited relationship and career prospects. For this reason many choose to 'escape' to foreign countries. On top of that, many can put on the 'I'm a sweet innocent girl' act quite well. It's only after the ring is on the finger and she pops out a kid or two that the dragon makes its appearance. Yeah, Japanese men do cheat. There is a reason for that.
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#63

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 09:34 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

There's a few inconsistencies in t OP's story the most glaring of which is that a high value, successful mid 30's guy with a "triple digit" notch count could or would get hung up on high drama post 30 "party girl".
I noticed this as well although inconsistent isn't the word I would use to describe it. It might be very consistent.

These comments aren't really directed at Phineas as much as they are just general advice because I've seen similar situations like this on this forum, in the lives of friends some of which are forum members, and with some girls I've dated.

If you find yourself spending a lot of time with a girl with BPD or NPD traits or dating multiple girls with these traits then you should learn more about these conditions and probably from a source outside of the manosphere. Society tends to always blame men for all the problems in a relationship and the manosphere is somewhat of an overcorrection and tends to always blame women for all the problems. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle so it is beneficial to consider multiple perspectives and there are plenty psychology websites that are very realistic about many women having these conditions.

If you are a guy with a very high notch count then you should learn more about the dark triad traits of narcissism/NPD, machiavellianism, and psychopathy. I’m not saying that any man with a high notch count has NPD but these traits should be considered across a spectrum and I think it is common sense to understand that a guy with a triple digit notch count is very likely to have a stronger degree of narcissism than the average guy.

If a guy is consistently having problems with crazy girls then that is just as much of a reflection on the guy as it is on the girls. Like attracts like. All of us who are in the game for a significant time should try to understand BPD, NPD, machiavellianism, and psychopathy in order to understand where we fit on those spectrums as well as to understand the women that we will frequently be dealing with.

Quote: (01-25-2018 07:08 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

Once player fatigue sets in -- as it will for almost all men sooner or later -- making the transition from (a) playing the field for years to (b) seeking a future wife let alone mother-of-your-children can be challenging in many ways. This is a whole new dimension of game. If you wanna pick a winner, you'll have to discard a range of tactics, mindsets, and unconscious behaviours developed through the consistent practice of pickup and harem management. I learned this the hard way.
I couldn't agree more. There is a fantasy among many players that anyone can be a player for a long time and then immediately stop on a dime and transition into relationship mode. Anyone who thinks this has a fundamental misunderstanding of human behavior. You can't have a habit of banging one new girl per month for 5 or 10 years and training your brain to expect the dopamine hit from having a new girl and then immediately switch to a long term exclusive relationship without having to overcome a lot of challenges. It's very likely that you will subconsciously try to sabotage the relationship because you miss the pleasure associated with new girls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect
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#64

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 09:34 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

There's a few inconsistencies in t OP's story the most glaring of which is that a high value, successful mid 30's guy with a "triple digit" notch count could or would get hung up on high drama post 30 "party girl".

That said I'll extend him the benefit of the doubt. In her case this stands out:

Quote:Quote:

She wanted to call me every night (always has, in fact). From all that I have seen of her previous LTRs she is a natural follower, and she in fact broke up (and, apparently, cheated on) her 3-year LTR in the last year of that relationship because he didn't want to settle down.

Girls don't "cheat" because a guy they would otherwise be faithful to doesn't want to settle down. If they want to make him settle down ?...they try harder.

They cheat cause another guy "tingled" her fancy.


Run Forrest run


According to his profile he travelled to places like Philipines, so a triple digit notch count is definitely possible.

Getting 100 bangs from 5-6s in Philippines is easier than getting 4 bangs from a 7 in a western country within a time frame of 6 months.
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#65

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

^ I don't think anyone is doubting he has a triple digit notch count. PapayaTapper was saying that it doesn't make sense for man with his high value to be so hung up on a woman with her lower value. My post suggests that the reasoning for this could possibly be that players tend to attract crazy high-drama girls and vice versa.
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#66

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

I couldn't agree more. There is a fantasy among many players that anyone can be a player for a long time and then immediately stop on a dime and transition into relationship mode. Anyone who thinks this has a fundamental misunderstanding of human behavior. You can't have a habit of banging one new girl per month for 5 or 10 years and training your brain to expect the dopamine hit from having a new girl and then immediately switch to a long term exclusive relationship without having to overcome a lot of challenges. It's very likely that you will subconsciously try to sabotage the relationship because you miss the pleasure associated with new girls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

I'm in a similar position to OP but all my girl's bullshit is a direct response to me sabotaging shit, still doesn't excuse it.

If she had any respect she would have fully submitted to you from early on and not lied.
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#67

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-26-2018 01:03 AM)Alpha_Romeo Wrote:  

How deep is your knowledge of Japanese culture and society? Without posting a dissertation on the subject, the short of it is that an unmarried Japanese woman in her 30s has very limited relationship and career prospects. For this reason many choose to 'escape' to foreign countries. On top of that, many can put on the 'I'm a sweet innocent girl' act quite well. It's only after the ring is on the finger and she pops out a kid or two that the dragon makes its appearance. Yeah, Japanese men do cheat. There is a reason for that.

Essential to know, especially for you boys with yellow fever. In much of Asia, especially in China, Japan, the Philippines, an unmarried woman over 30, especially if no longer a virgin, is going nowhere but down. What awaits her is a single, childless, lonely life, working a jerkoff middle class job until 60, especially if she has a carousel history. In Chinese there is even a special word for them, which translates to "leftover women".

Imagine how terrifying that is. Society is not forgiving to these women like it is in the west.

These woman are the most dangerous, because they are in survival mode. They will put on the adorable perfect wife act (and make no mistake, it is very much an act). Cooking for you, worshipping you, acting all innocent but then fucking you the exact way you want to be fucked, giving you tingles. This is the game for them. We play to extract sex, they play to extract love and marriage.

I used to live in Asia and have dated several post-30 women, I almost moved country for one of them. Their game is supreme. But once you recognize it, you can learn from it. OP's game will have undoubtedly elevated from this experience.
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#68

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 09:34 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Girls don't "cheat" because a guy they would otherwise be faithful to doesn't want to settle down. If they want to make him settle down ?...they try harder.

They cheat cause another guy "tingled" her fancy.

Thanks PT, you're completely right. What is baffling to me is how I could have overlooked this simple truth at the time. She witched me good...
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#69

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-24-2018 01:59 PM)Laner Wrote:  

I have spent a lot of time in Japan, and one thing that I love about it is that if a girl speaks great English, she will often be easy to fuck. There are exceptions of course, but not enough to make me forget the norm.

Japanese couples often end up in sexless and loveless relationships. Comfort is a big part of life, and they understand that its much more comfortable to have someone to warm their bed and travel to Guam with than to be alone. Men also need to have a wife to have any shot of moving up the corporate ladder, as it shows stability and that they aren't a complete loser.

There are a lot of women in Japan that do not see banging prostitutes as cheating. Soapland is labeled 'Health' for fuck sake. When wives call their man "husband" or "father" at home, much of the spark is going to go away. So the husband hits hostess bars, or if he has more swagger, brothels and Seeking Arrangement. The wife becomes a sexual camel until one evening after two glasses of wine some player makes the right moves. Never any LMR. No feelings of shame.

Thanks Laner. I would love to get more of your thoughts on Japanese girls as I really admire the culture and country. I don't speak the language so I prefer girls with some level of English fluency... never thought of this being an issue until my current situation, seeking an LTR as I am. Perhaps I could PM you sometime? I have a new 21yo I am seeing...

Quote:Quote:

You made the right call. Me personally, I probably would have gamed her to the level she was gaming me. But you were falling hard for he, which happens in the game even for guys with experience. Hence, eject!

Cheers mate, appreciate it
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#70

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-25-2018 12:25 AM)Bacchus Wrote:  

The heart of these threads about some red flag woman is always a wager. Either bet on the girl or bet on yourself.

This is a nice insight. I would add that the bet on yourself might not necessarily equal your confidence or "need" to get a new girl. Some LTRs/girls can make solitude look not at all too bad in comparison.
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#71

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-25-2018 07:08 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

In this case, I can personally vouch for the integrity of the OP, Phineas. Furthermore, I have discussed this relationship with him in extensive detail and can confirm that his writings come from a position of candid expression. No sugar-coating, no exaggeration, just raw introspection and a genuine desire to consider the collective wisdom of RVF before pulling the plug.

Appreciate it, DM. I've always found that in the search for a honest answer it pays to ask an honest question...

Quote: (01-25-2018 07:08 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

Moving on, I've noted a few take-aways below, in addition to the points raised by Phineas in his epilogue -

Once player fatigue sets in -- as it will for almost all men sooner or later -- making the transition from (a) playing the field for years to (b) seeking a future wife let alone mother-of-your-children can be . This is a whole new dimension of game. If you wanna pick a winner, you'll have to discard a range of tactics, mindsets, and unconscious behaviours developed through the consistent practice of pickup and harem management...

All these insights are masterful. I'm hitting links to kingdom come.

Quote: (01-25-2018 07:08 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

In closing, this woman's game must have been masterful, especially considering the countless babes Phineas has plowed through over the past decade and more. Gas offers a piercing insight into this case study of precarious attachment, highlighting how even an expert seducer can fall hard for a dangerous woman...

Gas nailed it.

Even the Ancients were onto it:


THE SIRENS AND ULYSSES

Siren. COME, worthy Greek! Ulysses, come,
Possess these shores with me:
The winds and seas are troublesome,
And here we may be free.
Here may we sit and view their toil
That travail in the deep,
And joy the day in mirth the while,
And spend the night in sleep.

Ulysses. Fair Nymph, if fame or honour were
To be attain'd with ease,
Then would I come and rest me there,
And leave such toils as these.
But here it dwells, and here must I
With danger seek it forth:
To spend the time luxuriously
Becomes not men of worth.


https://postimg.org/image/dzv1pwllh/
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#72

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-25-2018 08:41 AM)RawGod Wrote:  

I say well done to the OP on nexting her. Just because you have been a player doesn't mean you aren't vulnerable to a beautiful woman with game once you are in the player fatigue stage. It can be really hard, but with a bit of time and NO CONTACT you'll be ready for something better.

Thanks RG, appreciate it.
Reply
#73

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

These comments aren't really directed at Phineas as much as they are just general advice because I've seen similar situations like this on this forum, in the lives of friends some of which are forum members, and with some girls I've dated.

Thanks for the throat clearing BC, I won't take it personally, promise...


Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

If you find yourself spending a lot of time with a girl with BPD or NPD traits or dating multiple girls with these traits then you should learn more about these conditions and probably from a source outside of the manosphere.

I think red flags serve this purpose. Traits like poor impulse control and distractibility make for fun girls but poor life partners / mothers. Reading up on personality disorders is interesting (if that's your thing) but I wouldn't advise guys new to game to burn their time this way. Especially if they are chasing notches.

Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

Society tends to always blame men for all the problems in a relationship and the manosphere is somewhat of an overcorrection and tends to always blame women for all the problems. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle so it is beneficial to consider multiple perspectives and there are plenty psychology websites that are very realistic about many women having these conditions.

Agree. A skill more subtle than nexting, as Dream Medicine points out.

Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

If you are a guy with a very high notch count then you should learn more about the dark triad traits of narcissism/NPD, machiavellianism, and psychopathy. I’m not saying that any man with a high notch count has NPD but these traits should be considered across a spectrum and I think it is common sense to understand that a guy with a triple digit notch count is very likely to have a stronger degree of narcissism than the average guy.

If a guy is consistently having problems with crazy girls then that is just as much of a reflection on the guy as it is on the girls. Like attracts like. All of us who are in the game for a significant time should try to understand BPD, NPD, machiavellianism, and psychopathy in order to understand where we fit on those spectrums as well as to understand the women that we will frequently be dealing with.

This is excellent. Otherwise put: don't be an asshole.

There are guys with game that have serious stains on their souls.Then there are guys with game that have no souls at all...


Quote: (01-26-2018 12:24 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

There is a fantasy among many players that anyone can be a player for a long time and then immediately stop on a dime and transition into relationship mode. Anyone who thinks this has a fundamental misunderstanding of human behavior. You can't have a habit of banging one new girl per month for 5 or 10 years and training your brain to expect the dopamine hit from having a new girl and then immediately switch to a long term exclusive relationship without having to overcome a lot of challenges...

I too am learning this the hard way. But as far as hard ways go...

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."
– Woody Allen
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#74

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Quote: (01-26-2018 07:47 PM)Gas Wrote:  

Essential to know, especially for you boys with yellow fever. In much of Asia, especially in China, Japan, the Philippines, an unmarried woman over 30, especially if no longer a virgin, is going nowhere but down. What awaits her is a single, childless, lonely life, working a jerkoff middle class job until 60, especially if she has a carousel history. In Chinese there is even a special word for them, which translates to "leftover women".

Imagine how terrifying that is. Society is not forgiving to these women like it is in the west.

These woman are the most dangerous, because they are in survival mode. They will put on the adorable perfect wife act (and make no mistake, it is very much an act). Cooking for you, worshipping you, acting all innocent but then fucking you the exact way you want to be fucked, giving you tingles. This is the game for them. We play to extract sex, they play to extract love and marriage.

I used to live in Asia and have dated several post-30 women, I almost moved country for one of them. Their game is supreme. But once you recognize it, you can learn from it. OP's game will have undoubtedly elevated from this experience.

This is useful, thanks again Gas. Mind if I PM you for some more cultural insights? Different girl...
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#75

Reformed Party Girl – Is true reformation possible?

Translation of reformed party girl: Dude. She's tired of sucking strange cock around the world and she's found a sucka she wanna settle down with.

Signed: JOJO Brown
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