[polymer]

I had been doing nofap, and I had read up a bit on game/pickup, and I hadn't been on dating sites in a long time. I was planning to try hitting on women in real life. I tried a bit earlier, but then I didn't do it for a long time. This time when I tried the first woman I hit on wanted to go on a date with me. We've now had 4 dates, and we've had sex once. It seems to be developing into a relationship. But this wasn't my plan, to settle for a woman like her, I was hoping to build skill and get someone hotter. What am I going to do? Just dump her? I mean, I kind of like her. But at the same time I want to try to build skill to attract hotter women. But I don't want to cheat on her. What should I do?

[YoungBlade]

Calm the hell down.

You like her, she's decent. You're not settling unless there's a ring on her finger.

See where it goes, learn from it.

[not_dead_yet]

Unless you've explicitly agreed to be exclusive, you're not exclusive. Keep running game and going no dates like you want to.

If she says she wants exclusivity, then check the board. There are a million ways to finesse that conversation if you want to avoid exclusivity. And if you want it, hey, more power to you.

The one caveat is that if you're meeting these girls in your social circle, then you want to be a little more careful. The last thing you need is someone with hurt feelings poisoning the well.

[Hypno]

Man, so many people see their situation as a problem when its actually an opportunity.

Sounds like you have a regular back up plan. Now, when you go to the coffee shop or the grocery store or the bar, you can be a little more agressive. It doesn't matter if you fail, because you have a backup plan. When they say, Oh, lets go out tomorrow night and you respond, I already have plans, how about the night after that? it will make you even more successful.

[Jetset]

Congratulations on your first plate.

At four dates with no talk of exclusivity, you aren't "cheating". Get another one going. At this stage, most women don't even want to know and will actively turn a blind eye. Don't let her control the narrative with any ideas about sex being a big deal or having a bunch of hidden meanings.

If she starts the "what are we" talk, just ask her if she's having fun with you and when she says yes, tell her it's all pretty new but you're having fun too and want to see where things go.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Try to remember that if she finds Chad Thundercock between her legs then she's not going to blink twice in the time it takes her to determine that you two are NOT in fact exclusive.

Women love the inference of exclusivity because when they break the unspoken contract they can simply pull a pussy pass and get away with it. "I didn't think you cared that much..." And that's only if the new guy is less of a keeper than you. If he's higher on the totem pole then your ass is gone anyway, probably without even an explanation.

If you're concerned about the moral implications of leading her on then be sure to treat her roughly and with somewhat less compassion. If your date-to-fuck ratio doesn't swiftly become 1 to 1 then you'll know she's far more interested in owning you than fucking you.

In other words, make it clear to her what you're there for and if she's resistant to that, well there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[polymer]

She just sent me a photo of herself as we were chatting. Fuck my life. What was I even thinking? I'm definitely going to go out and try to get other women. And she also says she only wants to kiss and hug me when she comes to me next time, she wants to wait with sex, even though she let me try to penetrate her last time, which for some reason was impossible. 4 dates and still wants to wait. Fuck this ugly bitch.

[Jetset]

(10-15-2017 08:26 AM)polymer Wrote:  

She just sent me a photo of herself as we were chatting. Fuck my life. What was I even thinking? I'm definitely going to go out and try to get other women. And she also says she only wants to kiss and hug me when she comes to me next time, she wants to wait with sex, even though she let me try to penetrate her last time, which for some reason was impossible. 4 dates and still wants to wait. Fuck this ugly bitch.

Ask her to show you the bra she's wearing. See what happens. Worst case scenario is you lose 130 unwanted pounds. Best case is she smartens up and figures out that entertaining your dick is part of the job description.

I'd go further than Leonard's 1:1 date-bang ratio and suggest that once you get a few plates going, you should screen out anybody who isn't delivering at least 3:2. ('Date' here is defined as something that requires time and effort on your part, not ordering the pizza you were going to order anyway and watching Game of Thrones.) She should be learning to be game for dick at all hours, or she has the wrong idea about what your value proposition actually is.

[Wayout]

(10-15-2017 08:26 AM)polymer Wrote:  

She just sent me a photo of herself as we were chatting. Fuck my life. What was I even thinking? I'm definitely going to go out and try to get other women. And she also says she only wants to kiss and hug me when she comes to me next time, she wants to wait with sex, even though she let me try to penetrate her last time, which for some reason was impossible. 4 dates and still wants to wait. Fuck this ugly bitch.

Is she really that ugly? You seemed to like her before...I have been in your exact situation and my advice to you is this: don't throw away a happy relationship for a mere possibility to bang chicks you'll never care about. I did and I regret it to this day. Is your girl a virgin maybe?

[Chiosboy90]

(10-15-2017 08:26 AM)polymer Wrote:  

She just sent me a photo of herself as we were chatting. Fuck my life. What was I even thinking? I'm definitely going to go out and try to get other women. And she also says she only wants to kiss and hug me when she comes to me next time, she wants to wait with sex, even though she let me try to penetrate her last time, which for some reason was impossible. 4 dates and still wants to wait. Fuck this ugly bitch.

I wanted to reply to your situation and then I read the your "...fuck this ugly bitch" one. It seems to me that you put her on an enormous pedestal. (go and watch twice: "Why You Shouldn't Get Excited About A Girl" by roosh).

Just stop calling girls "ugly bitches" just to tell yourself: "I don't really like her in the first place bruh shes ugly". That's the men hamster going on overdrive.

People are strange. Especially women. And you try to analyze your situation but that will make you hate women in the long term in my experience. If you wanna stay in the dating game mentally health,y try not to think too much about what is and could be blah blah. Sometimes Natalie from day approach flakes on Friday and the cute Jessica you thought is different has suddenly a sick mother just one hour before your date on Saturday. It doesn't matter. No point to think about the "why". It is what it is.

And if you push through, you meet here and there nice girls that won't flake and are actually interested in you as a whole human being.

Edit: If you genuinely like this girl, you should think twice ditching her just do "improve" your game.

[polymer]

(10-15-2017 07:49 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

Congratulations on your first plate.

What's a plate?

[polymer]

(10-15-2017 03:17 PM)Wayout Wrote:  

Is your girl a virgin maybe?

She claims to be a virgin, even though she's 43. (I'm 33)

[GlobalMan]

(10-15-2017 09:34 PM)polymer Wrote:  

(10-15-2017 03:17 PM)Wayout Wrote:  

Is your girl a virgin maybe?

She claims to be a virgin, even though she's 43. (I'm 33)

[Exult]

She’s 43 and you’re 33? Why are you even considering a relationship with her? Do you never want children, even if you were serious about her by the time you got engaged and married she’d be too old to have any.

As for the ‘I don’t want to cheat on her’ as it has been mentioned unless you’ve had the exclusive conversation you’re not cheating on her. And your demeanor and the way you treat her should make clear you don’t look at her that way.

There is no future with this woman, so continue to bang her once or twice a week, and actively pursue other women. Having a sure thing in your back pocket will help in your interaction with other females.

[Jetset]

(10-15-2017 09:32 PM)polymer Wrote:  

(10-15-2017 07:49 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

Congratulations on your first plate.

What's a plate?

A plate is a woman you're seeing casually. "Spinning plates" is a popular term on this forum and other similar websites for seeing several women. When you've got several plates spinning, it becomes less important if you drop one so you're less likely to give in to the beta provider frame: declaring one your 'girlfriend' and giving up your own lifestyle and goals to give everything to her.



Get it through your head that this woman is not girlfriend material and is lucky to have you paying attention to her at all. There is absolutely no reason to agree to see her exclusively.

(10-15-2017 09:34 PM)polymer Wrote:  

(10-15-2017 03:17 PM)Wayout Wrote:  

Is your girl a virgin maybe?

She claims to be a virgin, even though she's 43. (I'm 33)

OK, let's back way up.

You want to fuck some MILF? I get it. Older chicks have been some of the best sex I've ever had, they tend to have their own money, and they have usually had a lot of the 19-year-old entitlement beaten out of them by real life. That's cool.

However:

#1) Real life. At 43, she should already realize that she is probably not your dick's Forever Home. Unless and until she settles down again, men come and go with women like that from week to week. Ex-boyfriends, married men, bartenders, etc. Everybody knows what's up, and she's just glad to have somebody paying attention to her and stuffing her so that she doesn't feel like a lonely old cat lady. The blinders are off, time has run out.

#2) Mental health. She's probably nuts. I don't know what country you're in, but the reality is that her child-bearing years have mostly passed. The window where the "good ones" got picked up for their first marriage has now closed. If she's 43 and hasn't held down a marriage or at least a serious long-term sexual relationship, it's probably because she's a lunatic and every man who got a close look at the situation ran in the opposite direction for his own self-preservation.

#3) Sex. Women love fucking as much as we do. If she waited until 40 or even claims to have waited until 40 with a straight face, her libido probably just doesn't work right (possibly because she's nuts) and she isn't going to change just for you.

At 33, you're approaching your peak value as a man. You need to be talking to 20-somethings. What are your goals here? What are you spending time on this woman for? Why do you feel guilty talking to other women?

[polymer]

(10-16-2017 01:43 AM)Exult Wrote:  

Why are you even considering a relationship with her?

(10-16-2017 07:25 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

What are you spending time on this woman for?

I lowered my standards. After 15+ years on dating sites messaging thousands of women I had very little results. This was one of few women I've hit on IRL. I have some hope that with nofap and not going on dating sites etc. I will get better women than before. For example last year when I bulked up I noticed women liking me more. However I've been sick for about a year now, so I haven't been to the gym in all that time, and I also didn't talk to women in that time, put that project on hold. But I was starting to think I had been sick such a long time so I said fuck it and just hit on her anyway. I'm hoping my health problems will end and I will go back to the gym, bulk up again, and I will get better with women. But I'm still sick and all of my self improvement and game plans are kind of on hold as of right now and I think that's part of the reason I'm dating this woman. Who knows if it will get better or worse.

[YoungBlade]

(10-16-2017 07:25 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

At 43, she should already realize that she is probably not your dick's Forever Home.

[polymer]

Just found out she has herpes. She didn't tell me about it, pretends she doesn't know it is herpes, pretends she thinks it's caused by dryness. I'm starting to just get fucking fed up with this bitch. Worst fucking handjobs ever too. Probably going to just dump the bitch.

[presidentcarter]

(10-17-2017 09:48 PM)polymer Wrote:  

Just found out she has herpes. She didn't tell me about it, pretends she doesn't know it is herpes, pretends she thinks it's caused by dryness. I'm starting to just get fucking fed up with this bitch. Worst fucking handjobs ever too. Probably going to just dump the bitch.

This is getting good. May even make me want to come back to the forum.

[Cattle Rustler]

A virgin with genital herpes?

[polymer]

(10-17-2017 10:10 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

A virgin with genital herpes?

herpes on the lip

[SomeFcksGiven]

[polymer]

Would you date a woman with mouth herpes? Also, would you date her if she possibly knew she had it but didn't tell you and then lied about it, pretending she didn't know what it was? She's ugly but her legs are alright, and I mean it's a pussy after all, might want to bang until I get someone better. But I'm considering cutting down on spending on her, I've payed for her meal every date for 4 dates.

We have a date planned for Saturday morning, squeezed in between her 3 or so different jobs. We've said she's going to come to my home. She said she only wants to kiss and hug, that she wants to wait with sex. We might have sex on Saturday anyway, despite her saying that, but now I'm not even sure I want to kiss her.

[Jetset]

You seem thirsty af.

Why are you wasting your time on this madness?

[polymer]

(10-18-2017 07:25 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

You seem thirsty af.

Why are you wasting your time on this madness?

Because most women don't want to date me. Granted I've mostly used dating sites and I've stopped that now. But 15+ years on dating sites and messaging thousands of women only got me to bang 2 ugly women and 1 mediocre. As I said, I had hopes of improving. Everything was going fine for almost a year, was doing nofap, bulking up, saving money, was going to buy my first car (which I did a few months later), then I got a ton of health problems all of a sudden and stopped going to the gym. Haven't been to the gym in a year now, got skinnier again. Right now I'm in limbo, I have some hope times will get better, but I'm far from sure about that.