Do you want to go to this party? That seems to me like the primary question. What do you actually want to do?
Disrespect is a funny thing. Isolated incidents are relatively easy to shrug off, and can often be turned into positives with the correct mindset. I dare say, had you laughed when he called you on it, held eye contact and acknowledged that it was a terrible habit you were working on solving, then the matter would probably have been left more or less at that.
The fact that this disrespect has escalated, with him talking behind your back etc, must surely rankle in part because you recognise your own feebleness and inability to handle these kinds of mild confrontations in a healthy and masculine manner. You were caught doing something gay, and instead of a, 'you just wish you were this pretty' or whatever, you showed that you were frustrated and angry, but not prepared to take any action.
This is not a good place to be, and it leads to you feeling how you feel. It is much easier to handle disrespect if you take ownership of it, and address it within your own frame. This can be acknowledging it if you have actually done something you should be made fun of for (you have), or it can be retorting with an appropriate, socially calibrated response, 'Your mum never seems to mind me doing it when I stay over' (unless you are dealing with Mexicans, or some other nationalities). When you can do this, disrespect is generally nipped in the bud, as most sane people will do almost anything to avoid an actual fight. There is then nothing to rankle subsequently, and eat away at your own idealised image of yourself as a guy worthy of respect and deserving of being held in high esteem.
Most people experience moments like this in life, and if you are sensible you will use it as a learning experience. Most of us I'm sure can remember situations that do not fill us with pride, where we let our fear or humiliation tie our tongues or make us act rashly. It is one of the worst feelings in the world - worse than catching a beating, worse than many forms of loss or failure.
Properly harnessed, my view is that a situation such as the one you describe should be a catalyst for your self improvement, both physically, and far more important, mentally. You should look at your behaviours honestly, or if you can bear it, have someone you trust give it to you straight. If you are a vain, precious, barbie type man then you should acknowledge that, and ask yourself the uncomfortable question of whether that is the way you want to be and indeed how you want to be perceived. If it is, and plenty of men own that shit (look at Jersey Shore), then you should accept that it is a part of the image you are putting out into the world, and you don't care whether you're seen as vain so long as the primary purpose (presumably girls (or maybe boys if you're a real barbie
![[Image: wink.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/wink.gif)
) ) is realised. Self-confidence is largely a matter of congruence, and you should be happy with your behaviours, mannerisms, and proclivities to the point you are able to live them all out unapologetically.
In addition to this, you must realise that being yourself, unapologetically, is likely to make you some enemies. This guy in the OP may be one of these enemies. If he is, and you are being the person you want to be, then you need to be ok with that. I would add the caveat that becoming physically capable, and carrying yourself that way, is a very potent thing. It allows you to be congruent, because you know that you are not relying on the largess of an enemy for your continued personal well-being, and in my opinion that is essential to this congruence. Courage is most frequently the capacity to do violence and refraining from it, regardless of the perceived slight - but you're not really refraining if you don't actually possess the means and the will to do so if absolutely necessary.
To that end, I would echo the sentiment that you should lift if you don't already, and you should learn some kind of combat sport that involves being struck repeatedly. This will not make you a world beater necessarily, or make you some macho demi-god by itself. What it will do is stop you being a pussy, remove the self doubt that comes from not knowing whether you could actually do violence, or whether you could actually match up to a stranger, and make you more comfortable with physical confrontation, in the hope that that comfort will be sufficient to discourage you, or anyone else, from fisticuffs.
As a note, I would personally discourage noisy confrontation of the, 'what's your problem' type as it's usually either incongruous, embarrassing, or ineffective. Social grace is far more disarming, and can be paid lip service to whilst achieving the desired effect without any obsequiousness on your part. People who noisily confront one another tend to betray either mental imbalance, or an unfamiliarity with conflict - the uncontrolled rush of adrenaline just makes them noisy and uncontrolled, without necessarily being any more dangerous for it. Really frightening people, those who truly know how to hurt you, are generally quite calm when they confront you. Much better to be calm, firm, and assured, than wild and aggressive, and socially unpalatable.
Reaching this point will require a degree of introspection, and a great deal of time, as well as some maturity. My personal advice would be not to go to the party unless you really want to, because I think there is a good chance it will either cause you further embarrassment, or will cause you to do something you're not currently well equipped for. Personally I would acknowledge this fact, recognise that my own short comings might be holding me back from the kind of life I wanted to live, or at least contributing to aspects of my life I was unhappy with, and start to implement personal changes which gave me a little more control over proceedings.
