Marc MacYoung wrote an excellent piece on the concept of tribes:
Tribes , Super Tribes, and Uber Tribes
The basic idea is that we humans are made for small tribes, but some of us believe that we are part of a super tribe, like say a country, and treat others like they are members of our own tribe before checking if they see us that way.
Some highlights:
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Something I am working on is explaining the human 'wiring' to be tribal and how modern society has pushed us out of our comfort zone when it comes to the 'size' of our tribe.
This is a simple concept with MASSIVE implications.
Starting with that we 'owe' obligations/sharing/support/concern to those INSIDE our tribe. The rules of how we treat those inside our tribe are very specific. We NEED the tribe for our survival. These reciprocal tribal obligations are what kept our species alive on a planet that was trying to kill us. Yes, this is a species level survival issue. Other species went extinct, we haven’t -- because we are social primates.
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Nations are a VERY recent invention in terms of humanity. (250 years vs. 200,000 years.) Here’s another kick to the gut. The idea isn’t global yet either. But let’s look at what you were raised in in the West. We are told that as a nation we are a giant Uber-tribe. If you are a US citizen you have 324,000,000 fellow tribes people. You’ve been conditioned to accept this as ‘normal.’
Except there’s just one little glitch...
This is beyond most people's functional ability -- WAY beyond.
So, basically, unless you are one hell of a likable bastard, you really have to keep your antennae up in the modern world, and you can't assume that just because you feel you are part of the same tribe as someone else, that they feel the same way.
This dumb lady probably thought that because her request was reasonable, and she was a woman, who you don't hit, and a senior, who you respect, she could just wade into a group of people and make demands, and man, I was wincing all the way.
Not our tribe lady, we don't care about you, you should have stopped talking and walked away a long time ago.
Not necessarily a race thing, by the way. I have walked the streets at night, in a University town, when a big drunk group of members of the same frat are walking towards me, and we are all the same color and it makes the hair rise on the back of my neck. All that yes sir, no sir stuff those boys say when the meet old guys at frat events? Not happening on a boozy Friday night. I will take the left turn thank you.
These women are sitting ducks, walking around, thinking being a female will protect them, and they can talk to anyone any way they want, and nothing will ever happen. They have no antennae, see no warning signs, and just shoot their yaps like they are queens.
If all she got was dunked, she got off easy. What did she think, honestly, would happen, walking in on a pool party of two hundred? That they would turn of the music and start playing bridge?
I am not white knighting, by the way, obviously this was a horrific thing to do to an old lady. I just think the tribe concept is a useful one, and one that she had no concept of, thinking they were all in the same tribe when they weren't. She should have waited for the cops.
I could have used this concept a few times in my life when I tried to question a stranger on his behavior and things escalated much quicker than I would have imagined, because I was trying to hold a member of my group to group standards, and the guy was thinking, who is this fucker I don't know telling me what to do.
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