Posts: 950
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation:
39
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 04:15 PM
So im interested in the opinion of men who have been in this position.
Currently im living with the mother of my son, he's a year old. We've tried our best at making a relationship work. However, there are just too many personality differences. We just have different ideas of what we want out of a relationship. Im not saying it's terrible, but I don't know that I want to compromise on this forever.
However, there are some benefit to staying. The obvious is spending time with my son, and knowing that some other guy won't be playing a fathering role to him. I don't think I could be ok with that. The other is not paying child support.
Interested in getting your opinion.
Posts: 3,343
Threads: 0
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation:
33
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 04:24 PM
Life is too short to spend in a deeply unhappy situation.
Change is scary, and the unknown is difficult to tackle.
There is life after divorce, meaningful and authentic relationships with better women await, and you can remain in your sons life as a happier, more fulfilled man instead of an unhappy, bitter presence.
Best of luck and good wishes no matter what your choice mate.
Posts: 90
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2015
Reputation:
0
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 05:05 PM
Make sure to ejaculate in a more compatible Woman next time. Get a vasectomy and store sperm cyrogenically now.
Posts: 2,515
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2014
Reputation:
45
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 05:18 PM
At this point I can say your relationship was probably better before the kid was born. Once that happened the kid took away time and energy from the relationship so it naturally dipped. It's fairly normal for that to happen once kids enter the picture
Either way if it's not something you want to stick with you shouldn't but make sure it's really the decision you want to make.
Posts: 950
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation:
39
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 06:53 PM
It was better before. However, given the choice I wouldn't have chosen her as my partner. She's a damn good mother, but we have our differences.
Posts: 2,515
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2014
Reputation:
45
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 07:09 PM
You clearly don't want to be with her. Don't. Make sure not to be a dick about and handle it delicately.
Any dating/banging you do keep it discreet. A recent break up and you instantly messing with a few new chicks will end up with a scorned woman trying to wreck you through FOC.
Not something you want to deal with.
Posts: 1,165
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2016
Reputation:
12
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 07:40 PM
Nope! Those personality differences will eventually manifest in conflicts on raising your child and eventual resentment and result in the inevitable.
My sons (twins) just turned 18 and though coparenting has been a challenge in an of itself, my life would have been absolute purgatory staying with her.
Posts: 475
Threads: 0
Joined: Jun 2016
Staying with your child's mom.
04-16-2017, 07:54 PM
I'm in a very similar situation. Only difference is she moved away for a year with my son. Back when I got her pregnant I knew I didn't want to be with her for the rest of my life. We just never really got along and we always argue. I used to think that if I was ever on my deathbed I'd regret staying with this women. Two years later to this day I feel the exact same way.
Posts: 1,045
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation:
12
Staying with your child's mom.
04-17-2017, 09:26 AM
I have tried it and it doesn't work. Happiest I have been in years since I left.
"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa
"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
Posts: 950
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation:
39
Staying with your child's mom.
04-17-2017, 09:46 AM
Definitely not something to take lightly
Posts: 1,045
Threads: 0
Joined: Dec 2016
Reputation:
12
Staying with your child's mom.
04-17-2017, 09:55 AM
Quote: (04-17-2017 09:46 AM)Steelex Wrote:
Definitely not something to take lightly
Definitely not. I spent six years with my ex and I was unhappy (with her) for five of them. However being there for my daughter and seeing her grow up and not missing out on stuff was worth it. I sacrificed some things but I don't regret any time I spent with her. My ex is a good mother and we get along now so I feel better about that.
You can still be a good father if you're not living with the mother of your child. The only negative is child support but it's a small price to pay, IMO.
"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa
"You Miss 100% of the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky
Posts: 1,520
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2013
Reputation:
48
Staying with your child's mom.
04-17-2017, 11:12 AM
A few weeks after I got my ex-wife pregnant (wife at the time) I came clean and let her know that I didn't think we had a future together due to the poor state of our relationship.
Counselling and probably cowardice on my part kept me from going through with a separation, but that feeling of dread and doubt never left me.
Four months of post natal depression that my wife was experiencing was the final nail in the coffin for the relationship, as was a hot Russian that had her way with me.
I'm not proud of the way it all unravelled and particularly the bad light that was cast upon me in my family's eyes, but it really was a blessing in disguise and something I probably wouldn't have ever done of my own accord.
In hindsight, the choice is easy if you have doubt about staying in a broken relationship, one where contempt and disrespect are commonplace on both sides.
Life is too short to be in an unhappy relationship. Make a break for it and follow any dreams that may have been trampled on by a nagging shrew and later forgotten about. At the same time, get your shit together (if required) and bed the type of women that you once thought were out of your reach. This is a soul nourishing pursuit in and of itself.
Posts: 1,587
Threads: 0
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation:
48
Staying with your child's mom.
04-17-2017, 12:55 PM
Consider it very carefully. Try everything you can to make it work. Renouncing to your family is a very hard decision that should be made only in last recourse. If you really cannot make it work, then game other women on the side, give yourself a break. While not officially dumping her, take some time for yourself and enjoy the beauties of life. Consider it again in a few months. If nothing works, then it's better to be alone than with the wrong person. And get your sperm frozen + a vasectomy to ensure you never impregnate the wrong woman.