[Topsdown]

Thanks Veul. Also applies to someone who has fallen a great deal as well.

Anyway, I am been going through some family tragedy. I respect the site and posters but at the same time I don't wish to seek out sympathy from virtual strangers. However, I still plan to move forward.

[Topsdown]

Well another example of masculine virtue has fallen... I wish I could go more in detail but that secrecy thing. Anyway, there will be a lot of changes from it.

My quest for personal growth has been impacted but let's see...I lost another five pounds of weight, had a series of longer conversations with strangers, starting to get some favorable glances(I think) from the ladies, continuing progress on other fronts but not enough to warrant their own listing. No closes though.

[Topsdown]

There's not a lot of changes but I did find another gig to get more money. Perhaps success in one front will lead to success in other fronts...

[Slam]

(06-18-2017 06:59 AM)Topsdown Wrote:  

There's not a lot of changes but I did find another gig to get more money. Perhaps success in one front will lead to success in other fronts...

More money solves many problems. Good job bro.

[Topsdown]

I did a few approaches since then but no result. I'll describe the last one since they are basically the same. I am at one of those truck stops with the multiple restaurants in them. The hostess at one of them asks if I am eating there. I ask her why should I? Anyway, she's a solid 6 and we go back and forth for a bit before I go in. I had wanted to go there beforehand. I eat and then it takes a minute after I am done. I joke along the lines of no rest for wicked. Her smile instantly disappears and it turns from a decent interaction to a transactional one to put it nicely.

You'll say she's nice in the beginning to get me to go there and I'll agree. My concern is this happens with other women who aren't at work when I am approaching. I've tried various levels of energy, stuff based on the situation, joking and not joking but I am assuming they are picking up signals like depression and such from me I'm not aware of at the time but I know are there. So I am approaching to a small degree but not doing well.

The side gig I picked up has allowed me to pay off my furniture loan and some gas money to boot. My primary job has hit a spike up for now and I am grabbing some of the hours there.

My weight has plateaued along with most other things in my life right now.

[Kangaroo]

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

I recommend joining a gym and working out there 5 - 6x a week instead of limited weights at home.

[Topsdown]

41, banged handful of lizards countless times in ltrs, married 13 years, relearning game. I need to start somewhere.

[Topsdown]

Kangaroo,

I had wanted to edit the post but alas the hour has past. Initially, I thought you were making snide comments. I took a step back and decided to take your questions and statement as somehow being from a good place. In other words, I am walking my thoughts back. I don't know how old you are or how life has worked out for you...really anything for that matter. All I know is I am a widow and my game from the past has athropied and otherwise isn't working.

The gym is where I need to be but at the same time, it's going to take more than the gym to help me. I am 6'0" and 230 lbs for a reference point. I have lost weight but need to lose more. I mean I added reps but not more weight yet. My efforts in a physically demanding job and home gym workouts haven't completely delivered yet. Any other advice would be welcomed.

[Kangaroo]

I should have explained why i was asking those questions, just needed background info to help us give advice. From reading this thread i would have guessed you were early 20's.

[Topsdown]

Honestly I feel like I am 15-20 years behind due to varying circumstances both in and beyond my control. Hence trying to catch up.

[Topsdown]

Physical: It looks like the combination of losing five more pounds and walking like my spine is made out of iron is starting to be noticed.

Financial:. Re-serviced some debt to lower interest rates. No payoffs in sight for three months but continuing to save, pay down debt and invest.

Social:. My energy in this regard is low and my personality is muted as a result. It's a battle to have transactional conservations let alone game as I should. I am going to take a shot at vitamins plus herbs to see if it helps. In fact, I'll post the question here. I hope it helps but if not, I'll take meds. It's like my depression and perfectionism have joined forces.

[BlackFriar]

Topsdown,

Glad to see that you are trying to get ahold of this. I am in my late 30s and have been in a funk the last couple of years.

[King of Monkeys]

@Topsdown

I'm struggling with a lot of the things you have been. After going at it for awhile, I have found it's not holding a conversation itself that is the problem: it's being comfortable or at least willing to throw whatever pops in your head out there and seeing what sticks. I'll get some good conversation going on a single topic, but when it comes time to change or try something else, I hesitate and then pure silence pursues as the conversation goes into cardiac arrest.

The nature of purely transactional conversations is that they are boring and hard to keep going. "Hey I'm buying overpriced thing." "That will be $50" "Ok here you go." This is why it helps to talk about emotional commonalities or external things most people understand. Since I work at a movie theater and have done similar things, I find it easier to engage cashiers because I can find things to comment on. For instance, I'm pressed to sell cheapass bracelets for charity, and some gal working DQ has to guilt people into donating a dollar to Make a Wish Foundation for some bald kid in a wheelchair.

This is where Roosh's Day Game comes in. Asking where a pet shop is means you can talk about pets, then your pets, personal experiences, and possibly connect. The ramble helps make her more comfortable and warm up to you, so you don't have to carry the entire conversation as you get her to do the talking.

Where do you day game and how much people do you approach/talk to in a day? I'm thinking we could help each other and make faster progress as opposed to doing everything alone by comparing notes and whatnot.

[Topsdown]

Since I have been handed lemons this morning...

@Blackfriar

Your energy is like currency I.e. when you are down, you have a lot less to spend. I find if I work (financial), then physical, mental, social improvement won't get done. Likewise, if I work out, then it's because I have the day off and not much else is done. I clean for the day, screw going out. I think you see the pattern of do one thing well a day and screw the rest. Not sure if it helps or not.

King of Monkeys -

I agree that I extracted all of the value I am going to get from transactional ones. I mean I greet people and better than silence all day. You get a shitty but safe opener but yes they are boring and somewhere I know I am better than that but it's my low energy/depression combined with "ring rust" and high expectations. I also think you got it with transitions or the lack of smooth ones along with comfort level. I can share via PM.

[Topsdown]

I have noticing that I am able to have longer conservations with women but I still freeze mostly if I go and approach with the intent of actually trying go for the phone number or escalate the interaction.

Physically, the same but taking vitamins and supplements. I am going to work on style next and keep up with what I have been doing.

Financial - I am in good enough shape now so that my personal brokerage account allowed me to do more with options. I am starting to sell cash secured puts now. I will also experiment with buying calls and puts once I get some more money together.

I wish I had more exciting stories but trying to tell myself I'll put a legit success story here.

[King of Monkeys]

The funny thing about learning a new skill is the majority of the work you put into it will not be that exciting. This thread right here is already your success story in the making. The exciting and interesting things will happen as you go through everything.

[Kapanda]

(07-07-2017 05:02 PM)Topsdown Wrote:  

The gym is where I need to be but at the same time, it's going to take more than the gym to help me. I am 6'0" and 230 lbs for a reference point. I have lost weight but need to lose more. I mean I added reps but not more weight yet. My efforts in a physically demanding job and home gym workouts haven't completely delivered yet. Any other advice would be welcomed.

Buy running shoes, go running 3 times a week. Sweat, lots of it, is how you are going to lose fat.

And cut the carbs, obviously.

[Topsdown]

I need to take diet to the next level. I have been stuck on 215 to 220 range. Weight loss has been good or rather steady until recently.

Style wise I went out and bought a lambskin leather jacket, fitted 501 Levi's and simple but well fitting t shirts. No more baggy stuff. I just need to find a good pair of shoes. Next on the immediate list will be haircut along shoes.

I thought I had a good interaction with the young woman at the place where I bought the jacket beyond the transaction. However I failed to escalate or close rather. I rationalized distance from where I live and game rust. I have a small regret about not asking for her number even as I briefed reveled in having a decent conversation last for more than a minute.

I also had a couple of good conversations with women after that and I noticed a lot of anxiety went away when I was not concerned with getting a number close. The next step would be even more conversations with number closing attempts.