[Parlay44]

Speak the truth brotha ...

[Parlay44]

Eddie's views on foreign brides...

[oldnemesis]

@Parlay44, to have a business you can not just survive on but also skim some reasonable cash from is definitely out of the reality for the majority of the people. Problems with off-shore bank accounts come with limited access, IRS reporting requirements and possible penalties, so it is not panacea as well. If you skim large amounts, it is traceable quite easily, and for amounts like $5K a year it is not really worth the hassle.

My main question, however, is still unanswered. Marriage is basically a business contract between two of you, which has specific terms. Why even bother to enter the contract if you want to cheat your partner from the beginning?

[oldnemesis]

(08-25-2011 11:06 AM)Moma Wrote:  

Because, my dear comrade, values regarding marriage in North America are not the same as they are in other countries.
People here marry for fantasy reason and they get divorced at the first sign of turbulence.

My impression so far is that it is not values regarding marriage which are different. It is because most people seem to have weird expectations about what the marriage really is. For example, they expect faithfulness, sex access and children being raised by a dual-parent home. But there is nothing in marriage per se which would guarantee any of that. Therefore the basics of such expectations are completely unknown to me.

In reality marriage has nothing to do with faithfulness or sex access. Check the marriage laws, there is nothing about it there. Marriage is clearly a business partnership with some side benefits.

Quote:

Since it is indeed a business, then every business arrangement entered should have some safety nets in place to protect whoever's investments are at risk.
In North America, it seems the man has the most at stake to lose (money wise).

This is the case because a lot of men marry down resource-wise. I.e. you enter into the business agreement when you bring 90% of income and another side brings 10%, nevertheless the agreement states that the whole income is split 50/50. Now when it looks like that, you'd ask why would a sane person enter an agreement like that? But they do, and then they complain that they got "screwed" by the justice system - while in fact they just screwed themselves. And I have no sympathy for them.

It more and more looks to me that Western guys have some kind of "marriage fetish".

[ersatz]

(08-26-2011 03:21 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

(08-25-2011 11:35 PM)ersatz Wrote:  

As far as I know, America doesn't have common law marriage like Canada where if you live together for two+ years and act like a couple, your common law married and could be on the hook for alimony, but split things up like roommates (I don't know the full reality although). I've heard in America, to be married you explicitly have to fill out some paper work and get a marriage 'license' and you don't have things like common law marriage. If that is really the case, then I'm totally fine having a wedding, getting the rings, calling each other husband and wife, etc, but I will never, never sign that marriage license. For most girls, that is what they want anyway. The family, the marriage, the rings. "I'll get married to you dear, but I don't want to marry the government too". Divorce and family court generally is a travesty and is what brings most of the pain into divorce. I would make sure that all of the parents give their thumbs up to the marriage, since I don't want to deal with in-law bullshit and she'll have to pass a lot of tests of character to even consider having children.

Each state is different when it comes to common law. In your opinion do you think that because the parents gave a thumbs up to the marriage, that they will somehow be less cantankerous with you if there's a divorce in the works? Once she gets thru concocting the most elaborate tale of abuse, neglect ,and irreconcilable differences , their favorite son -in-law will be regarded as nothing more than a leper. Your children will think you're the devil.

Of course parents will side with their child first %95 of the time, it's to be expected. If you have to deal with in-law crap from the get go, imagine how much more you'd have to deal with from them during the divorce. It's more about the time in the marriage itself, not the divorce. Adding a stressor like in-law BS to the relationship just increases the divorce probability.

Not all people spin lies like that, although many do if there is much to gain and not much to loose. Just like how most people would loot a luxury store blind if they knew there would be no repercussions.

The current divorce system gives incentives for women to pull shit like this unfortunately, with grave social consequences. Child support too, since the state get's a %2 tax skim on all money that goes through the system. If the consequences for lying was much higher, the benefits lower, you would see a lot less of it. If you don't have kids and don't have the marriage paper or equivalent, you can side step a lot of the bullshit.

But if you want to have kids one day, then everything gets messy. Not all relationships have to end advesarially (but the divorce court incentivizes that too).

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/54/...-dad-myth/

[Parlay44]

(08-26-2011 10:53 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

@Parlay44, to have a business you can not just survive on but also skim some reasonable cash from is definitely out of the reality for the majority of the people. Problems with off-shore bank accounts come with limited access, IRS reporting requirements and possible penalties, so it is not panacea as well. If you skim large amounts, it is traceable quite easily, and for amounts like $5K a year it is not really worth the hassle.

My main question, however, is still unanswered. Marriage is basically a business contract between two of you, which has specific terms. Why even bother to enter the contract if you want to cheat your partner from the beginning?

It's not so much about the man cheating on the woman. It's the fear of the woman cheating on the man. Divorcing him and leaving with half his cash.

I would have to be 110% confident in our relationship before I even considered marriage.

[UrbanNerd]

(08-27-2011 12:46 AM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

This is the case because a lot of men marry down resource-wise. I.e. you enter into the business agreement when you bring 90% of income and another side brings 10%, nevertheless the agreement states that the whole income is split 50/50. Now when it looks like that, you'd ask why would a sane person enter an agreement like that? But they do, and then they complain that they got "screwed" by the justice system - while in fact they just screwed themselves. And I have no sympathy for them.

It more and more looks to me that Western guys have some kind of "marriage fetish".

I am going to say this and I hope this is clear.....

IF YOU LIVE IN NORTH AMERICA AND YOU MARRY A WOMAN WHO BRINGS IN ONLY 10% OF YOUR INCOME, YOU ARE A 100% TOTAL FOOL!

I don't understand how dudes here in North America complain about the court of law as it pertains to marriages. The laws have not changed in decades but you STILL have men who busted their azz in college, busted their azz at the job, obtain high-paying positions, only to go marry some damn administrative assistant.

I know this board values things in a woman as far as her feminism/docileness (sp) and such but fukk that...one better factor in her income/net-worth before wifing her.

The divorces laws are simple. The courts take the male's "net worth" and the female's net worth and DIVIDE BY 2. Now for that dude who married some chick who only makes 10% of his income, he is shyt out of luck. Now that dude who marries a chick who makes like 80%+ of his income, then he won't lose much in a divorce so that REALLY takes money out of the equation.

Yeah, that woman who earns good money probably is going to be more confrontational on some subjects...probably going to state her opinion more...and probably does not meet the criteria for those guys who are into being fitted into (or not into) all that alpha/beta/omega stuff but we are talking about MONEY. That rules here in North America...so one better consider that in just about every decision you make.

Me?...no chick is going to be serious with me (or be fucked rawdogg) unless she is within 80% of my income.

A PAID "7" beats a BROKE "9" all day. (in North America)

Note: the same approach is used for child support

[UrbanNerd]

Oh....my point?

If you REALLY have to marry down (financially), then get a pre-nupt.

You don't need a pre-nupt if you marry a chick with similar (or more) money than you. You really have a "paperless pre-nupt" when you SIMPLY find a chick who is doing something.

[oldnemesis]

(08-27-2011 04:40 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I would have to be 110% confident in our relationship before I even considered marriage.

So why would you even consider marriage?

[oldnemesis]

(08-27-2011 06:40 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  

IF YOU LIVE IN NORTH AMERICA AND YOU MARRY A WOMAN WHO BRINGS IN ONLY 10% OF YOUR INCOME, YOU ARE A 100% TOTAL FOOL!

I wouldn't go as far as calling it total fool, but indeed the dude must understand what he is doing and why. In most cases it is trading of value (i.e. marrying a chick who is much younger or much more attractive). And, of course, when one accepted such value trade, then any complains about how "unfair" the court system is are just stupid. However it worked well for Donald Trump, so this is definitely an option.

[MrLemon]

(08-28-2011 04:53 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(08-27-2011 06:40 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  

IF YOU LIVE IN NORTH AMERICA AND YOU MARRY A WOMAN WHO BRINGS IN ONLY 10% OF YOUR INCOME, YOU ARE A 100% TOTAL FOOL!

I wouldn't go as far as calling it total fool, but indeed the dude must understand what he is doing and why. In most cases it is trading of value (i.e. marrying a chick who is much younger or much more attractive). And, of course, when one accepted such value trade, then any complains about how "unfair" the court system is are just stupid. However it worked well for Donald Trump, so this is definitely an option.

I have a different perspective. In my experience, women who make 80% of their husbands salaries are much more likely to divorce because they have "independent income". Then they lose their jobs, or the man loses his job, and the divorce turns into a financial calamity with kids as victims.

Women who make *more* than their husbands paycheck will *always* divorce...usually at the time when the man is really starting to enjoy raising his kids. Usually women want the man around for the shitty part of childraising -- age 0 to 5 or so -- and when the kids get fun, that just happens to be when they want to dump the hubby and deny his further access.

My solution is, my wife knows very well that she can't survive on her own, and I don't make anywhere near enough to support both of us independently. So we are incentivized to stick it out, for pure survival reasons.

Note that our country is going into a Depression which means, divorced families, unless they are rich, will end up living in their car and eating at the food bank (have seen this happen several time in our neighborhood). Depression, suicides, homelessness...all on the rise, and divorce is the top of the list of reasons.

[oldnemesis]

(09-04-2011 07:41 PM)MrLemon Wrote:  

I have a different perspective. In my experience, women who make 80% of their husbands salaries are much more likely to divorce because they have "independent income". Then they lose their jobs, or the man loses his job, and the divorce turns into a financial calamity with kids as victims.

If you're married, there is no such thing as "independent income" if you're talking about her salary. Legally you have the combined income, which is owned equally by both of you.

I don't see how she'd be more inclined to divorce if she was making this income when they got married. However if she weren't when they got married, and then she started to, then her relationship value went up. If they had equal value, and the husband didn't do anything, this created an imbalance.

Quote:

Women who make *more* than their husbands paycheck will *always* divorce...usually at the time when the man is really starting to enjoy raising his kids.

I personally know several women who make significantly more than their husbands.
One of them her husband doesn't even work, he's been "looking for a job" for the last few years.
None of them has divorced.

Quote:

My solution is, my wife knows very well that she can't survive on her own, and I don't make anywhere near enough to support both of us independently. So we are incentivized to stick it out, for pure survival reasons.

In this case if she divorces you, she'll pretty much get guaranteed alimony. If you think this would prevent her from divorcing you, you're fooling yourself.

Quote:

Note that our country is going into a Depression which means, divorced families, unless they are rich, will end up living in their car and eating at the food bank (have seen this happen several time in our neighborhood). Depression, suicides, homelessness...all on the rise, and divorce is the top of the list of reasons.

I've actually read that divorce rates are actually significantly lower now because of bad economy - people cannot find work, house value went down and it doesn't sell, etc.

[el mechanico]

"I've actually read that divorce rates are actually significantly lower now because of bad economy - people cannot find work, house value went down and it doesn't sell, etc."

Im noticing this a lot lately.I was out with two girls this weekend and one was married and told me she wont have sex with her husband because the A/C is broken in the house .She said his solution was putting a window unit in the living room so they could sleep in there.

I told her that my friend could fix her A/C and she said NO! why do I have to take care of it? "Thats what Im talking about! Why do I have to? Its his job"

She said she hates him but they can't afford to break up.

This is a far cry from the Who can Steal all the cash from the equitly line of a few years ago.

[Pusscrook]

(09-05-2011 08:15 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

"I've actually read that divorce rates are actually significantly lower now because of bad economy - people cannot find work, house value went down and it doesn't sell, etc."

Im noticing this a lot lately.I was out with two girls this weekend and one was married and told me she wont have sex with her husband because the A/C is broken in the house .She said his solution was putting a window unit in the living room so they could sleep in there.

I told her that my friend could fix her A/C and she said NO! why do I have to take care of it? "Thats what Im talking about! Why do I have to? Its his job"

She said she hates him but they can't afford to break up.

This is a far cry from the Who can Steal all the cash from the equitly line of a few years ago.

Just the kind of whore that I would love to meet.

[Sushifan]

You young padawans have much to learn.

It does not matter where you got married (which state, which country, etc). It only matters where you now live and where she files for divorce.

There is no such thing as an iron-clad pre-nup. You cannot make a pre-nup that is considered too strict or punitive. For example, you make $500k per year and she makes $20k a year and if you split up (no kids involved, married for 5 years let's say) you expect her to walk away with zero, right? That will never happen. You will be required to have some sort of walk away $ ("consideration") for her in the pre-nup.

Also, you can't choose a wedding date until AFTER a pre-nup is signed lest she say that she signed under duress since the wedding date was approaching and she didn't want to be embarrassed in front of friends and family. Also she must have her own attorney represent her in the pre-nup and he will tell her not to sign something too restrictive.

Finally once you have both agreed and signed the pre-nup and you're married... The pre-nup can still be thrown out by a family court judge!

And anything related to kids (custody, time split, child support $) cannot be put into a pre-nup!

You kids need to visit an attorney or at least do better google searches...

[Pusscrook]

(09-05-2011 08:46 PM)Sushifan Wrote:  

You young padawans have much to learn.

It does not matter where you got married (which state, which country, etc). It only matters where you now live and where she files for divorce.

There is no such thing as an iron-clad pre-nup. You cannot make a pre-nup that is considered too strict or punitive. For example, you make $500k per year and she makes $20k a year and if you split up (no kids involved, married for 5 years let's say) you expect her to walk away with zero, right? That will never happen. You will be required to have some sort of walk away $ ("consideration") for her in the pre-nup.

Also, you can't choose a wedding date until AFTER a pre-nup is signed lest she say that she signed under duress since the wedding date was approaching and she didn't want to be embarrassed in front of friends and family. Also she must have her own attorney represent her in the pre-nup and he will tell her not to sign something too restrictive.

Finally once you have both agreed and signed the pre-nup and you're married... The pre-nup can still be thrown out by a family court judge!

And anything related to kids (custody, time split, child support $) cannot be put into a pre-nup!

You kids need to visit an attorney or at least do better google searches...

This is common knowledge, why do we need to google any of this?

[Parlay44]

(09-05-2011 08:46 PM)Sushifan Wrote:  

Finally once you have both agreed and signed the pre-nup and you're married... The pre-nup can still be thrown out by a family court judge!

Funny ...most people think of court in terms of criminal court where you have to prove things beyond a "reasonable doubt".

Judges in family court make decisions based on "preponderance of the evidence" which basically means you don't really have to prove anything.

Accusations and insinuations are as good as evidence.

The final decision is completely at the judge's discretion as is based on nothing except his opinion.

When kids are involved and custody is an issue they usually rule in favor of the mother. NJ for example follows something called the Tender Years Doctrine. Basically means the court will always favor the mother until the kids are at least 8-10 years old.

If you want full custody of your kids you'll have to prove she's an unfit mother, feeble of mind, unable to care for them or she's causing parental alienation(turning your kids against you).

To prove any of those things you'll have to convince to a judge that a "Best Interest of the Child" evaluation is necessary. Then at your expense(about $10,000) the court will appoint a child psychologist to interview both parents, child, relatives, friends, co-workers and anyone else they feel can contribute to the story.

This usually takes 4 months to complete but may take as long as 2 years plus increased costs.

After all that you'll get a report that your lawyer must review and submit to the court before a final judgement on custody will be made.

It's a real shit-show. I share all this from experience. I'm at the tail end of this long process as we speak.

I've been trying to get full custody of my kid from his bat-shit crazy mother the past few years. I'm a few months away from completing that goal.

Think long and hard before you drop a load in some crazy bitch your fucking.

Even the sweetest girls will do a 180 on you once a kid is involved.

[guey]

Quote:

Seems the safest course would be to avoid marriage altogether.

^^
This.

Why do you need a the Government's and/or Church's stamp of approval on your personal relationships? Marriage is an antiquated premise, quite foolish IMO given people's outlandish expectations for it.

Only way I'll ever get married is to circumvent immigration law. Otherwise, no way.

This just seems like a no-brainer. If you're even CONTEMPLATING a pre-nup, wtf are you marrying her for?

Just my opinion.

[Sushifan]

(09-05-2011 09:23 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

This is common knowledge, why do we need to google any of this?

because of statements like this

"Do everything way in advance of the marriage. Off shore accounts , irrevocable trust funds etc. I think each state and judge interprets the legitimacy and potency of your pre-nup differently so find pre-nup friendly states to marry. Better yet, marry a bitch/sign pre-nup overseas"

That is false. And it is your quote. It does not matter where you marry or where you sign the pre-nup. If you live in California and she files for divorce in California then you will be subject to the California laws even if you signed your prenuptial agreement in Bali and were married in Bora Bora.

Also, your off shore accounts can easily be uncovered. Note that if you do not disclose all of your assets at the signing of your prenup then it can be considered null and void because she signed based on incomplete information. I have been through a big divorce in the past and just recently I spent many visits with my attorney in an attempt to get a prenuptial agreement together for the lady I've been dating for the past few years. My conclusion: It is just not possible to properly protect my assets (a few million) or my future. I let her go.

Again, perhaps be open to learning a bit more. Easy cowboy...

[iknowexactly]

(09-05-2011 09:40 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Even the sweetest girls will do a 180 on you once a kid is involved.

^^^^^^
Yes yes +1

Also +1 on the fact that family court is just whatever that judge feels like that day. None of the logic of criminal court.

Compared to HER sacred kids, you ( obvious asshole to anyone who looks at you) are just a paycheck.
It may be more pleasant to have the paycheck around as she raises HER kids. Then again, it may not.

Either way, she is always right.

All this is, or might as well be, biologically hard-wired in, and not the smallest chink in the armor can be accomplished by logic, fairness, or any idea of equity of effort.

I've seen many patients in therapy on both sides of child custody battles, and the rigid, acidic, unquestioning certainty on the part of the women that they are totally right is frightening. It's never a question of what's fair, in the womens' minds it quite apparent to them that what's fair is for her to get EVERYTHING, the only question is HOW MUCH CAN I GET.

Of course there are exceptions-- want to bet you can pick one?

[Rebel]

I was married for 10 years to a nurse who started using meth. We have a 9 year old boy together. Been divorced about 3 years now.

I was going to have to come up with with about 30 grand and she was going to end up getting about a 1/3rd of my retirement which I will start collecting next year.

My lawyer contacted my ex and told her to give me complete custody of our son and we would waive child support in return for her to not claim any assets of mine. I would have never seen any child support anyway and got to keep the retirement and the house. She never acquired a lawyer and if she did, I wouldn't have been so lucky.

Judges here anyways don't mess around. They will order a hair follicle test if there is any suspicion of drug use. She knew she didn't have a chance with the kid and any lawyer would have told her the same with her history. But I could have been screwed on the assets for sure if she would have decided to fight me in court.

She did a unsuccessful stint in rehab before we split and found out that about half of the women there were nurses.

[guey]

Quote:

She did a unsuccessful stint in rehab before we split and found out that about half of the women there were nurses.

Easy access to narcotics at their place of employment. This is actually quite common, sadly.

[rockdaspot]

is there anything stopping one from pre nupping and wifeing hot whores from various countries I want to visit or live in every few years or so?

is divorce expensive / difficult?

if there's not many negatives I wouldn't mind wifing a hot whore for a year and then discarding her after that.

[guey]

(09-06-2011 12:47 AM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

is there anything stopping one from pre nupping and wifeing hot whores from various countries I want to visit or live in every few years or so?

is divorce expensive / difficult?

if there's not many negatives I wouldn't mind wifing a hot whore for a year and then discarding her after that.

Getting Visas on the basis of marriage can be difficult as is. If you attempt to get one every few years, you'd most likely be flagged as trying to violate immigration law and would, at minimum, be denied any future "sweetheart" visas.

My friend (a gringo) that resides in Mexico just this week FINALLY got his wife, and mother of his child, a visa to come to the United States. It took them forever, even with a lawyer. This despite the fact that she is the MOTHER of his child.

The USA touts some of the most unfriendly, unwelcoming immigration procedures this world has ever seen.

It may be different for those of you outside the U.S. I am not sure.

[iknowexactly]

(09-06-2011 05:51 AM)guey Wrote:  

(09-06-2011 12:47 AM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

is there anything stopping one from pre nupping and wifeing hot whores from various countries I want to visit or live in every few years or so?

is divorce expensive / difficult?

if there's not many negatives I wouldn't mind wifing a hot whore for a year and then discarding her after that.

Getting Visas on the basis of marriage can be difficult as is. If you attempt to get one every few years, you'd most likely be flagged as trying to violate immigration law and would, at minimum, be denied any future "sweetheart" visas.

My friend (a gringo) that resides in Mexico just this week FINALLY got his wife, and mother of his child, a visa to come to the United States. It took them forever, even with a lawyer. This despite the fact that she is the MOTHER of his child.

The USA touts some of the most unfriendly, unwelcoming immigration procedures this world has ever seen.

It may be different for those of you outside the U.S. I am not sure.

How long do you mean by forever? I got a K1 (fiancee) visa for a Ukrainian in about a year.

Note I don't recommend this at all. Go to where they is and boff them there. Makes it much easier to do trade-ins, and she'll be aware of that. Maybe when you have multiple kids (yours not some other guy's) and her market value in the US would be way down you could risk it. I don't plan on it.