I am 22 years old, unemployed, not going to college, and not doing much of anything. I don't have any friends, and by that I mean that I don't hang out with anyone. Still living with my parents, still virgin, and totally numb emotionally. Hope that paints the picture. I obviously need some kicking in the ass.
Let's start with the job situation. I have been trying to find a job for over 2 years now; sending resumes, going to places, trying to talk with relatives to see if they can help me out, but I never get a call back, and the one time I actually got to go to an interview, I wasn't hired. It has been a very discouraging quest for employment, and I don't know what to do about that anymore.
Also, I don't have any friends. Ever since I moved from a medium sized city to a big one my social life has taken a plunge to nothingness. I used to have a few girls in rotation a couple of guys I hung out with and everything was fine, until my father decided that we should move to his home city. It has been constant torture. I feel more and more insane each day that passes, to the point that I don't think I deserve friends, attention or basic socialization, but instead deserve to die. And I can kinda rationalize why I feel like that, but that is irrelevant to the fact. I don't really know anyone in this city and I feel stuck in this rut.
My parents don't seem to care much about me, but at least I have a roof over my head, which is nice. They just mind their business as usual. My dad is retired and my mom does part time in a beauty saloon to keep busy. Their attitude towards me is of niceness if I engaged them, but if I don't, they don't care at all. I feel like a parasite living with them. I need to leave.
I've been struggling with motivation and the idea of choosing what I want to do, and doing it with discipline. I feel very lazy and I don't really care if I live or die; I don't feel that I matter at all (I know that sounds really emo, but unlike one, I don't say these things for attention). Every time I try to start a routine I do it for a couple of days, try to kick start all the good habits, and then stop because I feel awful after the initial spike in will power wears off. Everything grow meaningless and my reasons seem pointless.
I wish I could go to the gym, but I don't have any money to do that, and I feel really shitty to ask my parents for it.
All of my interests died down when we moved here. I wanted to be a music producer, I had cool plans for a book, and even had a youtube channel on the works, but all of that grew trivial to me.
The thing is that I want to change, truly, but I don't feel like I can, deserve or even if it's worth it.
I really hate to bother you guys with this, but google can only help so much.
Let's start with the job situation. I have been trying to find a job for over 2 years now; sending resumes, going to places, trying to talk with relatives to see if they can help me out, but I never get a call back, and the one time I actually got to go to an interview, I wasn't hired. It has been a very discouraging quest for employment, and I don't know what to do about that anymore.
Also, I don't have any friends. Ever since I moved from a medium sized city to a big one my social life has taken a plunge to nothingness. I used to have a few girls in rotation a couple of guys I hung out with and everything was fine, until my father decided that we should move to his home city. It has been constant torture. I feel more and more insane each day that passes, to the point that I don't think I deserve friends, attention or basic socialization, but instead deserve to die. And I can kinda rationalize why I feel like that, but that is irrelevant to the fact. I don't really know anyone in this city and I feel stuck in this rut.
My parents don't seem to care much about me, but at least I have a roof over my head, which is nice. They just mind their business as usual. My dad is retired and my mom does part time in a beauty saloon to keep busy. Their attitude towards me is of niceness if I engaged them, but if I don't, they don't care at all. I feel like a parasite living with them. I need to leave.
I've been struggling with motivation and the idea of choosing what I want to do, and doing it with discipline. I feel very lazy and I don't really care if I live or die; I don't feel that I matter at all (I know that sounds really emo, but unlike one, I don't say these things for attention). Every time I try to start a routine I do it for a couple of days, try to kick start all the good habits, and then stop because I feel awful after the initial spike in will power wears off. Everything grow meaningless and my reasons seem pointless.
I wish I could go to the gym, but I don't have any money to do that, and I feel really shitty to ask my parents for it.
All of my interests died down when we moved here. I wanted to be a music producer, I had cool plans for a book, and even had a youtube channel on the works, but all of that grew trivial to me.
The thing is that I want to change, truly, but I don't feel like I can, deserve or even if it's worth it.
I really hate to bother you guys with this, but google can only help so much.