[Riker]

Hey guys...

Tonight I lost another one man... she was so down, I just didn't pull the trigger in time and I lost her.

Opportunities are everywhere and I just seem to not escalate enough. I need to here the words "no you can't have my number/ no I wont go home with you/ no I won't bang you in the bathroom" from all the girls I game cause I'm leaning way to conservatively in my interactions.

I just feel slow, like I can't fucking close. After 4 months with nothing though I feel like its just around the corner, honestly I'm not even mad... its like I feel like I'm past the halfway mark, there's no way I wont get laid in another 4 months haha. Just have to keep going out, setting up those dates, and escalate.

I guess this is just a rant and a newbie one at that hehe, just want to remind myself and others to push harder, its worth it.

[Gmac]

Trying too hard? Maybe you need to be more subtle when you speak. What exactly are you saying to these girls? Dialogue would help.

[el mechanico]

I have developed some crazy slut-dar.I will see a girl out and won't bother with her until the time is right. I get an adrenalin rush like the cops are chasing me when I go at it. I'm not talking about girls you meet at the store..more or less late night bars and parties.

What kind of scenario are you in when this happens?

[Ajiaco]

Aren't you in Argentina? From what I have heard those girls are not the easiest. Roosh seemed to run into problems there. A friend of mine actually told me over the weekend that when she was there for a while, the gringos she knew dated other foreign girls most of the time, because the local girls were so difficult. Maybe it's not all on you.

[Riker]

Well last night I went to a milonga (place to dance tango) where there are a good amount of young girls and many travelers from Europe. Lately I've mete Swedes, Swiss, Polish, Czech Republic, Belgian, and Spanish. Its kinda great actually.

So I was the bar chatting up a female friend when I see a cute girl buying a beer (liter bottle) I tease her that she's going to drink that all by herself and she laughs and she ends up sharing it with me while we chat. She's from Barcelona, says she got here 3 months ago and is staying till the end of the year or till money runs out. We go dancing and we connect really well and she's super sexy. Our faces are close and in between songs you have a little bit where you talk and she would be all smiles and telling me she must know me from somewhere which I told her "from another life" haha... At one point I ask her who she's with and she hesitates and says "people" and I say "oh you're with everybody...... no, no, you're with me." She laughs and agrees.

The thing is that this is not exactly the kind of place to makeout in. There's only a few cool milongas and the young people frequent the same ones so you see alot of familiar faces except for the foreigners that rotate in and out. I think the ones that are fresh off the place are the easiest and most receptive. Its like a really big social group.

So I don't go for the kiss though there were a couple spots while dancing that this would have been great and we go back to the bar to finish the beer and here I just stall or something, the dancing was so good it just feels like chatting is a step down, and I just didn't find the trigger to say "lets get out of here." She ends up leaving for a bit and gets asked to dance and she goes and then I go ahead and dance with other people. Later on I ask her to dance again and she hesitates... she's sitting down talking to a dude... but agrees, she says she really tired of dancing so much. The dancing is still nice but I feel like we're both a bit more tired and the alcohol buzz has left a bit and idk I didn't end up pulling the lets get out here line then either. At the end when I'm leaving she's talking to a couple dudes and as I'm saying bye we make nice long eye contact, smile, and kiss on the cheek goodbye. I guess I could have asked for her email or number then or something.... but I know I'll run into her again and hopefully I can go ahead and dance with her a bit and try and get her to leave the place with me quickly.

[Gmac]

(08-18-2011 12:36 PM)Riker Wrote:  

Well last night I went to a milonga (place to dance tango) where there are a good amount of young girls and many travelers from Europe. Lately I've mete Swedes, Swiss, Polish, Czech Republic, Belgian, and Spanish. Its kinda great actually.

So I was the bar chatting up a female friend when I see a cute girl buying a beer (liter bottle) I tease her that she's going to drink that all by herself and she laughs and she ends up sharing it with me while we chat. She's from Barcelona, says she got here 3 months ago and is staying till the end of the year or till money runs out. We go dancing and we connect really well and she's super sexy. Our faces are close and in between songs you have a little bit where you talk and she would be all smiles and telling me she must know me from somewhere which I told her "from another life" haha... At one point I ask her who she's with and she hesitates and says "people" and I say "oh you're with everybody...... no, no, you're with me." She laughs and agrees.

The thing is that this is not exactly the kind of place to makeout in. There's only a few cool milongas and the young people frequent the same ones so you see alot of familiar faces except for the foreigners that rotate in and out. I think the ones that are fresh off the place are the easiest and most receptive. Its like a really big social group.

So I don't go for the kiss though there were a couple spots while dancing that this would have been great and we go back to the bar to finish the beer and here I just stall or something, the dancing was so good it just feels like chatting is a step down, and I just didn't find the trigger to say "lets get out of here." She ends up leaving for a bit and gets asked to dance and she goes and then I go ahead and dance with other people. Later on I ask her to dance again and she hesitates... she's sitting down talking to a dude... but agrees, she says she really tired of dancing so much. The dancing is still nice but I feel like we're both a bit more tired and the alcohol buzz has left a bit and idk I didn't end up pulling the lets get out here line then either. At the end when I'm leaving she's talking to a couple dudes and as I'm saying bye we make nice long eye contact, smile, and kiss on the cheek goodbye. I guess I could have asked for her email or number then or something.... but I know I'll run into her again and hopefully I can go ahead and dance with her a bit and try and get her to leave the place with me quickly.

Problem #1: It sounds like this chick had too many friends around. A lot of girls won't do anything with you as long as people they know are around for fear of being judged. You either need to isolate her or get her out of there to pull. Sure, you can go for the number if things are going well but that's never a guarantee either. You still have to go on a date (your last chick from what I remember resulting in a bunch of third wheel dates). All else fails, move to the next chick.

Problem #2: You didn't try to close, not at all. To me, based on this and your previous posts, indicates to me that it's probably the part of your game that you should work on the most. Seal the deal. If you don't kiss her at all during the first interaction, it's probably not going anywhere. Not saying it won't happen, but it's a big indicator of her interest and will save you a lot of time and anguish.

It seems like you escalate well with these girls, you just appear not to know what to do once you've gotten there. There could be a dozen reasons why a girl won't go home with you, it may not even have anything to do with you (i.e. logistics). Keep at it.

[Riker]

Alright Gmac sounds good, thanks, I feel like I'm almost there.

[Amour Fou]

Riker,

You dance tango, that is a huge plus.

And over time the NEED will force you to push more. You will gradually stop caring and learn how to follow the urges of your cock, the all wise and knowing.

The dry spell can only make you stronger... as it only feeds the beast in you...

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I believe that you have the same problem that I am trying to fix: being a pussy - afraid of rejection. In hesitating, you decide that you'll try a close later, and rationalize it by the close having greater chances of success later. But then you do it again, and again, and then the moment is gone and it is too late. I know that it's difficult to force yourself, but it seems like the area of game that you must improve: boldness.

[Amour Fou]

(08-18-2011 01:40 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Problem #1: It sounds like this chick had too many friends around. A lot of girls won't do anything with you as long as people they know are around for fear of being judged.

Just for reference, this doesn't seem to be the case with brazilian girls, in my experience. I don't see many girls worrying too much about their friends being around and hooking up with a guy they just met.

[Riker]

Haha yea Amour you're right, there's definitely shortage of young cool guys that dance it and a surplus of women. Honestly the hunger is building and it feels great, as long as I make progress towards my goal I feel great, its when I stay home that I feel bad. I swear I'm at the point that it doesn't matter if I wank it or not, it doesn't ease the hunger much haha, need the real thing.

Yea Creepy Eel your right, and pulling the trigger too soon is way better than too late. That reminds me one time I was at a regular pop club where I was hesitating and my great player wingman said he had the cure. He got me two shots of tequila and I ended up kissing 3 girls that night, most ever for me. I remember one of the girls saying "that was bold" after saying 3 sentences and saying "fuck it" and kissing her.

Not that I think we should use alcohol as a crutch, just saying

[Samseau]

1. you should have kissed her.

2. then gone to another bar, or to one of your rooms.

[Caligula]

Are you qualifying her? Are you being aloof? I've noticed that you drop "haha" into your posts. Nothing wrong with that, but do you smile excessively/laugh at your own jokes? Approval seeking behaviour; very easy to fall into during dry spells.

It looks like you're putting in the effort and making good progress so you're getting there.

The key thing is closing faster. You had a decent shot at it when you were dancing. If you don't feel you can make out in front of everyone try to get her outside for the kiss. More likely it's in your head that it would be very awkward. You can always find a discreet nook somewhere for a quick kiss. Once it's out of the way and you can take her somewhere else.

Making your intentions known seems to be a sticking point for you. That's what went wrong with that American girl you were emailing (your other thread). If you move in for the kiss early there's no doubt regarding your intentions.

Closing used to be my main sticking point. I had the girl right there ready to go yet I was afraid to move in. Even now, with a fair amount of experience I'm regularly surprised by the positive response I get when I make a move early on (eg. 20 minutes in). It's almost never too early once you've covered the basics and escalated properly.

Eventually you'll develop a strong sense that tells you when a girl is ready, but until you get there don't err on the side of caution!

Roosh put it nicely here: http://www.rooshv.com/theres-no-punishme...ng-for-sex

[Riker]

No you're right Caligula I'm not being very aloof and very qualifying. I'm doing it, but not enough. And yea there was a point in the dance floor where we were in semi isolation where I could have sneaked a kiss. And with the first girl as well, even with her friends close by.

With the last girl I met on craiglist there was some beta behavior I don't want to get into that I fucked up with, but at least at the end when she said she was going to go home cause she had to get up early for an interview I said "well you should invite me over for some meaningless sex" she said no but as I walked away she told me "call me ok?"

Amazing how that last alpha display solicited that reaction... I'm almost there just have to stop sweating the journey so much.

[Giovonny]

(08-19-2011 09:09 PM)Caligula Wrote:  

don't err on the side of caution!

Be bold noobies! Embarrass yourself with ballsy approaches, touch her, go for the kiss, talk to her in public, try to take her clothes of, go for the bang. Ya, you will make mistakes and lose girls fast but fuck it. This is the best way to learn. Better then studying theory.

When you are conservative and scared, you are holding yourself back. Fearlessness is the goal.

[gringochileno]

Try doing the apocalypse opener a few times. It worked wonders for me, now I'm pretty much completely indifferent to rejection which I think is the strongest part of my game. At some point in every pickup, there comes a point where you have to think to yourself "fuck it, I'm going for the close right now and if she doesn't like it she's free to leave." As long as I go for it at that point I'm happy with myself whatever the result because it means I didn't puss out and miss out on an opportunity.

[Docter]

I feel ya riker, I erred on the side of caution today and might have lost out on a solid opportunity.

what's that saying, ask for permission after the fact? or something like that. Better to act and be rejected than nothing. If anything it's a learning experience.

Shit, the worst part is when you look back at the situation and realize how you coulda played that shit right. Bites at me, but oh well.