Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
It is VERY telling that you gave no response to my breakdown.
There are so many responses, it's hard to respond to everyone. If I didn't respond to what you said, then I probably didn't have a problem with it.
I'll take another look at it.
Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
The reality of the matter is this. No matter HOW BAD your dad is (and it sounds like if anything it's verbal abuse at worst), he's still looking out for your best interests, even if it's in a somewhat backwards way. Nobody is saying you have to live with your dad. Nobody is really saying that you're a piece of shit and there's zero chance you could do what you claim (get out of dodge and get a job and live responsibly), but they ARE saying that your own actions have given them massive doubt as to the likelihood of that. You aren't showing any real responsibility. Your ideas are all theory and no practice. Here's why you have no leg to stand on:
1. You owe your dad a huge chunk of change, he's asked you to sign over bonds to pay for this. You have so far refused and you plan to try to bait/switch him. Further, you claim that you don't owe him this money legally which is an outright lie based on your earlier statement. This is an obvious contradiction. Dishonorable and truly deplorable when this is someone who is paying for your living expenses and who is not charging you any interest on this huge loan that no financial institution would've given you.
This is actually not an accurate description of the events. I do owe him the money, and I intend to pay him. As far as owing him legally, I really don't owe him legally. If he sued me for the money, he would lose. That's just a fact. We had a verbal agreement that I would pay him back (which I will), but we did not have a legally binding contract. There is no contradiction there. You're reading too much into what I'm saying, and you're assuming that when I say "I don't legally owe him the money" that it means I don't intend to pay him back (or something like that).
Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
2. You live in NYC one of the best and cheapest places for public transportation in the US, and you owe money on a car! I hazard to guess it's a car less than 10 years old. The average millionaire in this country doesn't live in NYC and they don't own a new or newer car. How in the fuck can you claim to have any fiscal responsibility whatsoever?
I was not living in NYC when I bought the car. I was living in another state (and working two jobs to support myself, by the way).
The only reason I kept the car is because I knew I wanted to eventually leave town. Besides, if I can keep up with the payments for another year or so, I will be able to sell the car and buy a cheaper car. This seems like a far better option than letting the bank repo it after having spent several years paying for it.
Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
3. You did not take or respond to the advice from El_Gostro, the forum's resident vagrant, someone who would seem to be armed with some of the best perspective for your situation. I find this strange. I also find it strange that you are perfectly willing to sit and take your sweet time to pay your dad back but you're not willing to wait the what, 2 or 3 weeks that it would take to get your bonds re-issued.
I will take another look at El_Gostro's response.
Also, I said earlier that I would look in to getting the bonds re-issued, and that I would rather do it that way if it is possible. I will wait the 2 or 3 weeks, or even months, if necessary. I already said this earlier, so I don't know where you got the idea that I wasn't willing to wait.
Also, I am not willing to take my sweet time paying my dad back. As a matter of fact, I tried to pay him back months ago, but his bank wouldn't cash the bonds. They said he had to wait 6 months. I recently found a bank that would do it sooner, so that's why we're doing it now. My dad was willing to wait another 3 months to do it at his bank, and I actually sped up the process for him.
Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
The bottom line is that the forum is here to help you as a guy that seeks to improve himself. Guys here want to help you, but you don't seem willing to accept the help or even implement any small part of advice that is not what you already have planned.
That's not true. The only think I'm not willing to do is to let my dad keep holding on to the money and for me to keep living under his roof. I already stated from the start that I had made up my mind and I was going to take the money one way or another.
I actually would like to avoid this whole conflict with him at the bank. I'm actually quite nervous about that, and would love to find another way to do it (such as having the bonds re-issued, as you pointed out). That's why I made this thread. I was hoping guys could give me other ideas, so that I wouldn't have to trick my dad into coming to the bank with me and then threaten to call the cops on him.
Quote: (01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:
That is not going to earn you many friends or much help in the future. You clearly got yourself into this situation but you're not really willing to adjust YOUR actions to get yourself out of it.
Can you be more clear? What exactly are you recommending? Are you saying I shouldn't take the money, or are you just saying I shouldn't do it the way I am planning to do it?
Like I have stated many times already in this thread, I appreciate all the advice, and I have no problem with people giving me harsh criticism.
What I don't appreciate is the people (not you) who just want to tell me how much of an asshole I am, telling me I am a "useless druggie who just wants the money to get high," and act like they know more about my relationship with my father than I do. Also, the people who keep insisting that I am "stealing" from my dad. That pisses me off too, since I am clearly not stealing from anyone.