[trpman]

I struggle hard here, my SMV right now in front of girls because of the organization in which I am joining is pretty high.

But I usually struggle talking to a girl when it comes to just saying something like a complete dick, coming off charming or sounding way too nice.

Im always on those two extremes.

For example im texting this girl I met at a party that I was supposed to meet but I never texted her back.

I told her to come visit me at this thing tonight for donations and she said she was at a date(its a grab a date if you are in college)

my response is gonna be "nice" but wouldnt that sound butthurt?

[UlteriorMotive]

Less is always more, you could reply "lame" or even better, don't reply at all and hit her up in 2 days with "drinks tonight 8 / etc"

Her mentioning she is on a date is just to stir you up into her soup, I'd recommend the total ignore and restart later.

There's also the what to text next thread which is a goldmine overall (thread-28919.html)

With the in person sitation, airing more on the side of a dick will yield you much better results than being nice.

[John_Galt]

Depends on the girl.

Some women NEED you to be a jerk to remain attracted. Others can barely deal with anything less than complete adoration.

But to answer your specific inquiry, I always try to avoid one word replies. If it requires only one word, generally no response at all is better. (Unless its a "Yes" or "No").

I would probably reply with something along the lines of "All right, well, sorry for your loss! " or something to that effect. Teasing, but not being an asshole. It's not her fault you invited her out last minute. No reason to be a dick. If she flaked, it would be a different story.

[ivansirko]

(11-03-2016 07:24 PM)trpman Wrote:  

I told her to come visit me at this thing tonight for donations and she said she was at a date(its a grab a date if you are in college)

Grab a date? I am so old i had to look that one up.

The above advice is good. All i have to add to it is practice your game.

[XXL]

I'd help but I don't understand anything from your post

[polymath]

You joining a fraternity?

Some of the people on this forum are 40 and grizzly.... would help set the scene if you're more explicit about the situation.

When texting, I have two strategies. Either be nonchalant and bait her into being the more interested one, or be so interested that it's contagious. The latter works well when the girl already has feelings for you, or when you are doing bold things in your life and can get away with over-demonstrating interest. Otherwise be nonchalant. That means you don't always respond, you take time when it makes sense, and you don't let anything she says bother you unless it's disrespectful.

Being nice is pretty worthless when it comes to girls, for the simple fact that they have learned by experience the difference between a "good" guy and a "nice" guy. Me personally, I'm comfortable being a good-hearted asshole. I can be pretty abrasive and insensitive, but never cruel. Similarly, there's no reason to be a dick. If you're assertive, you take opportunities when they come to you, and you don't let anyone take what's yours, you'll be far more attractive to most women than if you're actively trying to be a dick. I struggle with being a dick....even posted a thread on it once....and I've settled on just being very assertive and masculine instead. Works well for me and I don't have to be something I'm not.

I suggest you figure out what the masculine parts of your persona are, and just let them shine through. This way you don't have to waste brain cells toeing the line between being an ass and being interested. If you do it right, you can be an ass, come across as interested, and still the girl will keep hitting you up and trying to hang out.

A single girl who texts you about a date she's on.....hmm let's think here....girls (in large part) operate based on jealousy. That's a central emotion for them when they think about men. And at its extreme, this is a very powerful force that drives them to do insane things sometimes. Men don't generally operate on this emotion, but that won't stop a girl from using another guy or a situation to try to make you jealous. It would work on her, so she thinks it may work on you. Your response should be an aloof lack of interest, or amusement. "I hope he's the one." Make a joke out of the guy and put him below you in the social order that is constantly being rearranged in her mind.