Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:
1) When meeting a girl and getting to know her, should I start talking about her or about myself?
Both ways work well. However in my experience it's easier to engage a girl by talking about her than by talking yourself. I'd say it depends on your conversational skills, overall charisma, your flow at a time, etc. So..
If you want something simple and effective then talking about the girl should work well. It's interesting, surprising, unpredictable. Basically anything you say specifically about that girl, any opinion, observation, random thought relevant to her, projection, prediction, comparison, etc etc, will provoke reaction and engage.
You can be talking about something super cool and then you will add that her "nose wiggles funny when she laughs and it's like he's laughing on his own blablabla.." and that one little remark will touch her inside and literally focus her attention 10x better than you story. She will simply have to know what's up with her nose, why you think what you think, etc.
So if you can use something about her, looks, clothes, demeanor, point of view, etc and riff off of that talking about random things she will be hooked really well, as long as she likes you, at least a bit. Even when uncomfortable silence [if it occurs] can be used as topic ["why are you doing it to me? you're making me shy you know.. that silence is too tense but somehow I cannot stop looking in your eyes.."].
If you are comfortable speaking a lot and you're full of ideas for conversation then you can let that shit flow and engage a girl this way too. You will just bombard her with so many threads at once that she will not catch up and get lost in the world you build with your words.
One of benefits of this is that you will not walk on eggshells as it sometimes happens with a girl on a 1st date. You will just talk talk talk about whatever pops up in your head and let imagination carry on the conversation. For example, you're in cafe and want to order something, you might say shit like.. "ok i heard that waitresses can feel when a customer wants to order something by feeling his eyes on themselves, let's try it now and see if it's true or not, cause you know maybe it appears on how handsome the customer is, I'm decent but who knows, besides I hope that she is the real waitress, OK 3.. 2.. 1.. start, I feel weird staring at her, tell me am I looking like a creeper? don't lie, you can tell me, I won't get offended... so far I suck at it.. or she's not feeling it, maybe I should do it more intense.. or maybe not... tell me would you feel me if I stared at you like that? blablablabla...". Something like this [I can bullshit like that all day long].
The girl will feel like she's watching a move or something. When you include her in what you say and do she will be engaged. Some might rightfully point out it's playing an entertainer, OK, as long as YOU enjoy it and entertain yourself it's fine cause you would do the same with your friends. Doing it FOR THE GIRL to entertain her will make you look like a tool. There's a big difference.
Quote: (09-24-2016 02:54 AM)nidall Wrote:
2) Is there a conversation pattern to keep the conversation exciting?
In short.. say contrasting stuff and be unpredictable. That's the pattern. If you want to be technically correct then pay attention to the stimulus you provide. Don't stick to one topic/emotion/vibe/tone/etc in the conversation.
However there are times when you both connect over something you talk about so that's not the best to switch topics. If she's eating out of your hand then keep feeding her that.
More..
https://xxlbase.quora.com/%E2%80%9CHOW-T...-%E2%80%9D