[churros]

In my naive early days, whenever I mentioned the term "friend zone" to a chick, she blew a gasket. Now it's common parlance – in the New York Times, no less. Of course, the term is okay, once it's applied to a man.



A Single Mom Escapes the Friend Zone, One Non-Date at a Time

Quote:

The nicest thing I own is the first thing you see when you walk into my house: a red handmade rug bought in Tehran, haggled over in Farsi and delivered, in person, to the Brooklyn apartment of the man who would become my husband.

Back then, James told me the woman who gave him the rug, a woman he had recently dated, was by then “just a friend.”

I didn’t believe men and women could be “just friends.” At least not if they were single, with one or both actively seeking a romantic partner. Yet I also agreed to be “just friends” with James, at first.

I was the one who contacted him. We had both joined a dating service called, pretentiously enough, The Right Stuff, after seeing an ad for it in The New Yorker. “I liked your profile,” he wrote in his first email, “but didn’t contact you because you have a child.”

At least he didn’t write, as several others had, “Thank you for being so honest.”

...

He was JamesNYC125. I was RedWeather. He responded to my first email: “A redheaded editor in Brooklyn — what could be better? But dating a woman with a child would be complicated, as I’m sure you know.”

*gags*

Quote:

“Let’s not date,” he suggested. “Let’s just get together as friends.”

That summer we both had travel plans, so a whole month passed before our first date — or our first “playdate,” I guess. In the meantime, we emailed every day. I sent him poems. He sent me music. Even while discussing academic publishing, from my side as an editor and his as a researcher, we couldn’t help flirting.

...

Later, we found ourselves in bed. Finally. And that’s when he confessed, “I’m dating someone else.” She was a fellow economist he had met at a conference around the same time he met me, an Iranian-American who lived in Washington, D.C.

“Now you tell me?”

“You knew we could only be friends.”

“You have sex with all your friends?” I removed his hand from my belly. “I bet she doesn’t even know about me.”

I told him we had to either date or not see each other again. We were both traveling for Thanksgiving, so we decided not to email or phone until we returned home. Then he would call and tell me which woman he chose.

...

Minutes after I arrived home, James called. “I choose you,” he said.

I dropped the phone and fell onto the bare floor.

...

Time passed, and I asked James if he ever wished he had chosen her.

“No,” he said. “You’re perfect for me.”

My interpretation: it didn't work out with the other chick. So he called her back up. Maybe I'm a cynic.

[BootNootly]

Decent false-disqualification and dread game, though sad that he had to run game at all.

[Gimlet]

There is no such thing as the "Friend Zone" for women. Friend Zone for men = "Friends with Benefits" for women. If a man puts a women in the so-called friend zone and wont' fuck her, it means she's too ugly. Again that isn't the Friend Zone.

It's about extracting maximum benefits for minimum expense for both sexes.

The Friend Zone = women extracting emotional intimacy and financial benefits from men without giving up sex.

The Friends with Benefits = men extracting sex without giving up emotional intimacy and financial benefits.

Interestingly, the FZ/FWB flip typically happens sometime after men and women turn 30, when her looks decline and he starts doing better financially.

Go figure.

[I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE]

(08-19-2016 08:03 PM)churros Wrote:  

I was the one who contacted him. We had both joined a dating service called, pretentiously enough, The Right Stuff

Fucking hell I had to do a double take, thinking the TRS guys branched out into online dating now too. But then I checked the site and was immidiately relieved

[CRR]

Men who allow themselves to be friend zoned while clearly wanting more are to be blamed, but the women who know this yet still keep them in their orbit are to blame as well, despite what feminists say.

A woman in my social circle does this to a guy, and she tries to deny it. He's a decent guy, just socially awkward and desperate for female attention.

As I told her, there's a simple word for it, it's called manipulation.

[XPQ22]

Quote:

“A redheaded editor in Brooklyn — what could be better? But dating a woman with a child would be complicated, as I’m sure you know.”

Quote:

“Let’s not date,” he suggested. “Let’s just get together as friends.”

Quote:

And that’s when he confessed, “I’m dating someone else.”

I mean, I guess it's "game", of a sort. Seems like a lot of effort for a single mom though.

Hypothesis: she got banged by a player from online dating who was seeing someone else, that part is true. The rest is a bit of a tall tale. Like the couple girls who told me they met up with a married guy from the internet and were "weirded out." What they likely left out is that the timeline is a bit different than they tell it - they fucked him first, THEN they found out, not vice versa.

His texts might have been more like "Haha, yeah I don't really do the dating thing right now I just like meeting friends ; )" and she's like "O really? Hehe" cuz he's cute, and they flirt back and forth for a couple weeks, he sends her silly shit like YouTube songs to keep her interest until they meet and bang on the first date, and now he's got a single mom side piece that he sees to bang every week or two.

Quote:

“You have sex with all your friends?” I removed his hand from my belly. “I bet she doesn’t even know about me.”

It's interesting how once a woman has fucked you, that it seems you can tell her just about any "dark secret", including that you're married or she's just a side piece or whatever, and the most you'll apparently get is a mild scolding.

Quote:

Minutes after I arrived home, James called. “I choose you,” he said.

I dropped the phone and fell onto the bare floor.

I don't believe the rest of this story happened. But even if it's a fiction, it simply shows that the best way to get a girl falling for you is to give her the impression she's competing with other girls you're fucking. The amount of outrage for the investment and hopes of the woman she "beat out" is precisely zero. Who knew?