This is from another thread I posted in: (
thread-57398...pid1372469 )
Quote:The Black Knight Wrote:
Quote: (08-10-2016 03:15 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:
Just as I've seen women fuck over men in divorce rapes, I have more than a few guys who I've mentored under that went through hard times with their wife sticking right by them through thick and thin with crippling debt.
Women aren't so simple that we can paint the broad stroke that marriage is evil and that women are Satan incarnate. It's why I still hold true the mantra that us men will never ever be able to understand women nor should we try too.
OP you clearly are lacking in life experience if you're using such broad terms right here. There is no mathematical consistency or logical proof that will ever predict a woman's actions, or even at that a man's actions.
In the US, marriage IS evil in certain states given individual state laws that incentivizes non-desirable and destructive behavior. Any man (or person for that matter) that attempts a marriage and ends up being the higher earner of the two is putting themselves at enormous financial risk in certain states.
A few examples:
1. Some states have no caps on child support. Some cap at like 13,000/year max (Nevada). In states with no caps, women will sell abortions to rich men they've trapped. Pay them 150k now or you will pay 1 million+ over 18 years. They will also obviously fight tooth and nail for full custody to get max pay out.
1a. In some states, child support is paid out as a percentage of each persons incomes and time with children. In some other states, it's paid out entirely by non-custody parent.
2. Division of property, what is consider marital property, and pre-nup/post-nup recognition/enforcement varies from state to state.
3. Some states assume joint custody with children. Some automatically give the non-breadwinner custody. Some assume the woman regardless of situation should get full custody.
I'm of the strong opinion that one of the most important aspects to consider when settling down with a woman is what degree of real leverage you can maintain over your partner. Women already have enormous cultural and legal advantages in the US by and large so us current/future providers need every little bit of help we can get.
In certain states, the marriage/child support laws are beyond the pale and are straight up evil if you are looking to be the provider in the relationship (ex: Massachusetts). In other states, they are actually somewhat in the realm of being reasonable (ex: Texas).
For me at least, I've written off certain states for work and having a family solely because of the marriage/child support laws. The risk and lack of leverage is simply too high. I also believe the less incentives a woman has to blow up a marriage, the higher the odds of a marriage staying intact regardless of the woman or game. Women are impulsive, selfish, and emotional and many will cave in a time of weakness or struggle if they have an easily accessible lucrative exit option.
The point is that if anyone here decides to get married in the US, make sure you have a VERY thorough understanding of your states marriage and child support laws.
The following is a FANTASTIC source of info for each US state (and some overseas locations). EVERY man on this forum should check this site out and read up; if only to get a sense in detail how shit really works. I can't recommend it enough; it was a total game-changer for me:
http://www.realworlddivorce.com/
Out of all of the aforementioned, check that link out! It has situations for every state with men who make six figures and are dealing with various female/kids situations. They use the same situations across all the states so you can compare and contrast easily how little/much you can get screwed in certain states.
Once you are done viewing that, get your ass a lawyer ASAP.
From what I can tell, you are getting off really light right now. $9000/year in child support for a man making six figures is very low. Here is an example from the website on Massachusetts:
Quote:Quote:
Scenario 4: 1.75-year marriage with 8-month-old child
A 25-year-old woman marries a 40-year-old never-married medical doctor earning $275,000 per year. She had been earning $50,000 per year working as a receptionist in a medical office. She has a child after a year of marriage, quitting her job during the 7th month of pregnancy due to fatigue. She files for divorce when the child is 8 months old (after 1.75 years of marriage), alleging that the father did not participate in the infant's care, e.g., he did not change diapers or get up in the middle of the night to soothe the baby. The mother will allege that the father was verbally demanding and abusive, though there won't be any witnesses to corroborate. The father had savings of $2 million that he accumulated prior to the marriage but there was no significant accumulation of assets during the less-than-two-year marriage. The mother seeks a division of assets as well as alimony.
"Seek and ye shall find works only if one believes in God and then finds her. It does not work that way in a divorce courtroom in Massachusetts," notes Nissenbaum, "Statutory provisions say this wife can get alimony only for half the time between the date of marriage and the service of the summons of the complaint for divorce. That means the wife will get alimony for about 10 months. She might get an award of rehabilitative alimony – which could be a lump sum or be paid over longer than 10 months." What about a substantial property division? "In a short marriage, the court tries to put the parties back into the situation they were in prior to the marriage. Thus it is not likely that wife will be awarded any part of husband's pre-marital assets, although to be practical and avoid paying lawyers, perhaps the wife would be given $100,000 or more in a lump sum. After all she needs a place for her and the baby to live in."
Nissenbaum thought that the wife would surely get custody and tax-free child support of approximately $43,316 per year ($952,952 over the next 20 years "so long as the child lived with her and was primarily dependent on the parents for support").
Source:
http://www.realworlddivorce.com/Massachusetts
When you get a lawyer, my number one question would be:
Does child support payments start from date of filing or from an earlier date like child birth in BOTH states? I say both because she could file in your state or her own and if one state is far more generous than the other, you can bet she will go there.
If it starts at when a claim is filed in BOTH states and she continues to go along with this unofficial low payment plan, you could ultimately save yourself $10,000+ every year for the next two-ish decades. This would put more money in your pocket to take trains/buses/planes. In some states, chicks can hit you up with an accident baby 15 years later, file for child support, and get child support back-pay all the way from the child's BIRTH! Imagine finding out you owed 15 years in back child support all of a sudden? That could easily be six figures out the door just like that.
Suffice to say, the family laws in some states are straight up evil and insane.
Anyhow, get a lawyer to sort this out and think of the best angle of attack ASAP.