[Charles Martel]

(07-27-2016 11:16 AM)Stirfry Wrote:  

(07-24-2016 04:03 AM)Charles Martel Wrote:  

Constantly making excuses for her...Her ex was abusive, her dad was abusive...blah, blah, blah. I called him out every single time and told him bluntly that I have a zero tolerance policy for the excuses of dumb broads...they all have a sob story and as a consequence, I believe exactly none of it anymore.

I have a slightly different take on this. The "I had an abusive dad and absentee mom boo hoo hoo woe is me" routine is what she unleashes whenever she needs an excuse for her bad behavior, and he has bought into it. We talk about women having no sense of responsibility on this forum a lot, and I think this is one way they do that (we also discuss how the real problem is white knights who eat this stuff up, which allows this process to continue).

I had a relationship with a woman that was wonderful, but little did I know that she really wanted some other guy and was happy to fuck around with me for a while until he came back into the picture. That in and of itself isn't so bad, but she told me that she loved me, wanted to be with me forver, etc., until he made a reappearence and then she couldn't get rid of me fast enough. Her excuse? "Look, you don't even know I had such an awful childhood, when I was a kid my mom ran off with so-and-so, and my sisters and I had to raise ourselves blah blah.." In other words, she couldn't help it. Her childhood sob story might even be true but she was using it as a "get-out-of-jail-free" card for her abhorrent behavior. I'm sorry but this is not an excuse. My shitty childhood cannot be used as an excuse for fucking over other people, so why should hers?

She knew she was being a terrible, manipulative person, and went right for the childhood sob story to justify her actions. Like this guy on your example, I bought it at first, but thanks to you guys I see it for what it is.

You exactly nailed it. That is precisely what she and then he was doing.

As I called him out on this, I gave him the example, "What if I punched you in the face, right now? Would you accept my excuse that I had a psycho ex girlfriend?"

Of course he said no, he would be rightly pissed off.

Every chick...and I do mean every one of them, claims an abusive ex or father. In turn they use this for two things-

A. Attention whoring/sympathy

B. Rationalization for any and all horrible behavior on their part.

For me, there is no more effective boner killer than when they start in on their sob story. It screams "I am damaged and will probably accuse you of rape, if you piss me off"

[Stirfry]

[/quote]

You exactly nailed it. That is precisely what she and then he was doing.

As I called him out on this, I gave him the example, "What if I punched you in the face, right now? Would you accept my excuse that I had a psycho ex girlfriend?"

Of course he said no, he would be rightly pissed off.

Every chick...and I do mean every one of them, claims an abusive ex or father. In turn they use this for two things-

A. Attention whoring/sympathy

B. Rationalization for any and all horrible behavior on their part.

For me, there is no more effective boner killer than when they start in on their sob story. It screams "I am damaged and will probably accuse you of rape, if you piss me off"
[/quote]

Agreed. I was never concerned about a false rape accusation (not her style and for a lot of reasons she was in no position to make a public rape claim) or that type of craziness. It was just her rationalization for.. well, being a whore. There's no other way to put it. The story she told me was essentially "My mother was a whore and incapable of forming emotional attachments, so you shouldn't be surprised that I am too." The tendency is to say "Ohhhh yeah, of course, now it all makes sense, you poor thing" (remember Hillary making excuses for Bill's womanizing when she said something about him being raised by a distant mother and grandmother who fought all the time? Same thing).

But you also raise a good point. I can think of two relationships that, as they came to an end, during one of the many uncomfortable 'end of the relationship' fights, I suddenly heard about how they were molested when they were younger. It's not a coincidence that in both cases it was me trying to break it off with them, because such a statement is a tactic. When I'm the one getting dumped, I'm just dumped, and without the intimate autobiography. More like fuck you, there's the door.

It's like crying- manipulative and dishonest. How am I supposed to break up with someone who just told me the neighbor boy pinched their ass or something 30 years ago or whatever horrible thing happened and it was just so terrible sob sob sob? You're right- it's attention whoring and a desire for sympathy, combining to form a rather effective rhetorical device.