[Mentavious]

I'm 3.5 years into learning game and improving my overall technique when it comes to pulling. For the most part, I don't relapse into my old beta ways but earlier this week I went back to my old ways.

I've been messaging some girl from tinder for about a month or so. On Monday, I decided to go out to this semi nice restaurant to get something to eat. The girl (we will call her Red) texts me as I'm about to leave asking me what I'm doing tonight. I then tell her I'm about to go get something to eat and then chill for the evening. The next moment, I decided to ask her if she wants to join me for dinner and of course she obliges.

We get there and order an appetizer of calamari. She orders a glass of wine and I order a beer. There is some small talk to get to know each other while we eat. For the main coarse I order a pasta dish while she orders the filet.

Fast forward to after dinner and paying for the bill (120 total including tip) we are at her car doing some small chat. I spit my game and go in for the kiss. She's receptive and kisses me back. After a bit we say our good byes and head our separate ways.

Fast forward to today, I message her earlier today and no response. About 30 minutes ago she responds by saying we should just be friends. So that's the end of that.

Just another lesson to not buy broads you've never even met (let alone fucked) dinner.

Anyone else have any relapses lately?

[TheFinalEpic]

Buying dinner for a Tinder girl, come on mate!

I think for me the worst I've regressed is when I'm super horny I'll double text or snapchat a girl hoping to get nudes or a meet up. I've caught myself doing this and when I look in the mirror I'll be ashamed because I know it's pretty chump level.

[toejam]

Haha she did you cold. Ice cold.
I'm laughing cause I been there. I feel your pain bro.

[ivansirko]

It would have been cheaper if she just asked you to help fix her Air Conditioner....

as long as you don't message her again you should be ok.

[1026]

Reminds me of this gem from J. Cole's Work Out...

"Some n*gg*rs save these hoes,
I'm not that heroic."

It's been awhile since I relapsed.

Definitely with my most recent ex.

I was relegated to a cuddle buddy really.
We were having non-sex.

Shit really screwed with sense of worth. I can't blame her & her naive view towards sex.

It's all on me & how 'learned to live with it'.

Shameful times. Always is when you go full-beta.

& damn Mentavious your post just gave me the munchies...

Hmm calamari appetizer. Yum!

[WestIndianArchie]

The lesson here is that a chick will suffer a guy that she doesn't want to fuck for a free meal. That should actually tell you a lot about the chick and her willingness to prostitute herself. Like spending 20 bucks on some sunglasses at the beach. She clearly doesn't value her time and who she spends it with.

That being said, aside from the beta provider aspect of the date - did you try and run any game within a "bad" situation?

Seems like you provided and then jumped straight into comfort, skipping attraction, compliance, qualification, etc.

You can put game into a typical blue pill situation. All is never lost.

WIA

[kirdiesel]

Damn man.... I don't get caught slipping with that shit anymore... Thats why you always keep it cheap.

[churros]

Yeah. Even if you liked this girl, dropping 120 on dinner is way too risky, unless that is standard practice for you.

I just avoid the trouble and always split, whatever the occassion.

[Mentavious]

Yeh I know its my fault. I was going out to dinner anyways so I figure I would invite her out.

I shouldn't be bitter about it but it is what it is.

[Chetthebaker]

@TheFinalEpic
I haven't bought any food for a chick I wasn't banging in a long time, but I deleted Tinder for reasons like what you're talking about.
It was just becoming too many numbers in my phone of girls w/ negligible attractiveness who were not down to meet or fuck. And I'd end up trying to hit them up on random nights or engage in some sexting or get nudes but that shit wouldn't lead anywhere.

Coming from that frame was fucking with my mind.

[General Stalin]

Last time I ever "beta'd" a girl was also the last time I went back on one of the Cardinal Rules: Never go back to a bitch.

Last summer I re-dated an ex that I had dated for about 5 months the year prior. We reconnected because she kept hitting me up via text here and there every month or two making it difficult for me to get over her. She texted me some nostalgic shit and I broke down and talked to her on the phone. Decided we would get together and "see how it goes." We planned a date to camp out in my truck at the trailhead of a mountain then do a sunrise hike (how romantic). I knew she didn't own any proper hiking shoes so I bought her a pair of $80 Merrell boots.

We "dated" for about 3 more weeks then she flaked on a couple plans with piss-poor made up excuses, then told me she met someone else.



Nowadays I never do "provider" type shit to impress/win-over a girl. I'll buy a meal or drinks here or there with girls I've been banging, but I'm certainly not breaking my bank or going way out of my way for something I'm not sure will pay off with an acceptable ROI. My time and money is important.

[RatInTheWoods]

I struggle not to loose frame and Beta up in a great LTR.

After a while you let your guard down and starting being your normal, nice self instead of the asshole she loves.

Women are always kind enough to remind you that you have gone full Beta by turning down the sex, Bjs or turning up the bitch...

[debeguiled]

(07-21-2016 11:56 AM)Mentavious Wrote:  

Yeh I know its my fault. I was going out to dinner anyways so I figure I would invite her out.

I shouldn't be bitter about it but it is what it is.

Don't beat yourself up. That sort of thing used to be called dating, and it worked because women made an effort to move things forward.

A lot of our first impulses are probably in our physical and cultural DNA, and have worked forever, which is why we have them. Game, unfortunately, is sometimes the art of ignoring your own natural intuitions and moving past them into unnatural strategies that work because the social structure has gotten deformed.

Beta Relapse though, is a great phrase.

This is the first thread title that has made me laugh since "Faggotry is going to the dogs,"

thread-56034.html

[kaotic]

At least you recognized what you did wrong and admitted it.

Most guys would keep doing the same shit over and over, then get all angry and frustrated.

Now I don't mind paying for drinks if I'm on a date, usually it's 1 or 2 rounds. If it goes beyond that she gets the next rounds.

Like others have said, I haven't been on a dinner date with a girl I haven't fucked in years.

[Akula]

first, great title OP

(07-21-2016 12:15 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Nowadays I never do "provider" type shit to impress/win-over a girl. I'll buy a meal or drinks here or there with girls I've been banging, but I'm certainly not breaking my bank or going way out of my way for something I'm not sure will pay off with an acceptable ROI. My time and money is important.

Amen to that brother. I see a lot of guys spending a lot of money on women they meet on Tinder or dating sights or "Travel Buddies" or whatever and just can't believe it. Luckily in Ukraine most women don't eat after 8pm anyway so they just have a drink or two at most.

(07-21-2016 02:46 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I struggle not to loose frame and Beta up in a great LTR.

After a while you let your guard down and starting being your normal, nice self instead of the asshole she loves.

Women are always kind enough to remind you that you have gone full Beta by turning down the sex, Bjs or turning up the bitch...

Agree LTRs (say more than 6 month) are tough to gauge and it's difficult to hold the upper hand. I just want to 'chill and relax' more and more and as you spend more time you inevitably let your guard down.

For me, the bolded part is pretty much grounds for immediate dismissal - it's not like you're marrying these girls or they will be the mother of your children (which is when I guess it eventually becomes an issue (i.e. after you've invested a ton in the relationship and have something to lose).

[Dantes]

OP

Don't be so hard on yourself. There is a big difference between buying a girl dinner as provider game and inviting a girl along because you are already going. You did the latter. I don't see a problem with it, as long as it was what you wanted to do. You didn't get your desired outcome, but it most likely would have been the same if you just bought her a few drinks.