[Travel Museums]

Just talking to another traveler. He said all the expats just pay $140 for a 6 month visa. They time departures so it lasts 9 months. Then they spend hot/rainy season away which they were already doing. He said visa changes haven't disrupted expats living in Thailand at all. It's apparently as about as easy as it's always been? This doesn't sound right. But he said that's why they kept changing the rules bc nothing works.

Oh yes and the air quality in luang Namtha is much better than in Thailand. There's almost no smoke here.

[dsutmdo]

(02-09-2017 04:50 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Hate to be a dick yet again (and I see OP is already banned), but first off, if you went to Vientiane and walked away with the impression that the you can "pretty much walk everywhere," you were in the downtown foreigner area and you never got any further. Great job – you visited the same ten block radius as every other clueless visitor and walked away with the conclusion you'd seen the entire city...

Listen, it takes a good 20 to 30 minutes to drive out of town on a motorbike (when you're already well out of the tourist center), and even then you'll find plenty of local bars, pubs, and clubs scattered about in the dusty suburbs (hell, that's when shit really starts even getting good) - so no, you cannot "pretty much walk everywhere."

It really gets old seeing this misinformation in datasheets over and over on the forum from guys who spend 3 days in a place, never go anywhere past the central tourist area, and then walk away acting like they are some type of authority on the city or qualified to make a verdict on anything at all.

I'm no expert on the city either, but I have stayed in Laos for months at a time on multiple trips over the past ten years, often in Vientiane, and last year I even lived in a half Laotian, half thai friend's home for a month while staying there (he's married to a gorgeous ex TV star there, arranged marriage). We went to about four weddings while I was there, one in the countryside out of town and three much more high end - at each I was the life of the party just because I was a foreigner at a local wedding, and as always there were plenty of beautiful, big breasted girls - many throwing very keen looks.

We also did quite a bit of clubbing, and as usual, I was generally the only foreigner to be seen – because as usual, foreigners simply don't know where the clubs are at or are too intimidated to go inside if they don't see people who look just like themselves.

In my ten years in Asia I've seen foreigner after foreigner come blasting through Vientiane on a drunken visa run, or hung over from Viang Vieng, not bothering to put out any effort to see the place aside from walking around the same exact Westernized area, eating some Italian food, and jettisoning back to Thailand as fast as possible - before brashly declaring the place is not worth more than a night of your time. Every other foreigner is saying it, so sheesh, it must be worth repeating, right?

I say these people have no imagination. Give me Vientiane over Vang Vieng any day of the week. The place is far from boring unless you are the most boring of travelers. Let's start with the nightlife. Yes, at first glance it seems quiet, but it's a Southeast Asian city, and like any Southeast Asian city there are clubs all over the place that are most definitely NOT in your guidebook or even on wikiletsallgotothesameplaces. Most of which have zero foreigners in them and that very often go until early hours of the morning, curfews be damned.

There are beer bars with cute girls (of varying quality and sophistication, of course) staffing them all over the city and deep into the outskirts, and the food is cheap and fresh and fucking delicious. Anyone who has ever been to Laos knows the beer is the best in Southeast Asia and the pride of the country. Never have I seen a country take such pleasure in drinking beer outside of Germany. Even if you can't find a proper club going off there are private parties and holidays used as excuses to drink beer all day, every day (hence the laziness of a lot of the people lol).

Like Cambodia, it's not a place to everyone will be able to "get." If you're the type of guy who wouldn't have traveled back in the old days when traveling somewhere was actually difficult and not accessible to even the fattest, laziest, most pampered broad in the west - you probably won't like the place. Sure.

But if you like edgy adventure, on the other hand, and to actually get out elbowing up with the locals (rich or poor), and don't mind actually having to work for some quality tail, I think Vientiane would be a great place to live for the location independent. One cool thing about it is that even though many places are quite primitive and simple, the modernization in Vientiane is quickly spreading past the center, and the foreign hand in the local hospitality business is quite heavy. Thus, the foreign cuisine scene is epic in comparison to many Southeast Asian cities of a similar size, and these days, even though you're essentially in a frontier country, you can still have the luxuries of the West whenever you want them. Or you can hop over the river to Thailand for anything you can't find - locals with money often party over the river when they want to get out a bit.

So, anyhow, I can sit in a nice air-conditioned coffee shop getting work done, and then just decide I want to change centuries and walk around the corner to sit in a dirt floor restaurant and pound beers with low class Laotians, eating barbecued chicken and sticky rice with my fingers. It's fucking great, and if you don't think so, sure, go back to Bangkok and stick to Sukhimvit.

Laotian women look very Thai but are known to have much larger breasts and general curviness. To say they are somehow unattractive is a ridiculous notion, and if you actually had the game, class, and patience to access the upper end (not saying I necessarily do, especially the patience part), you wouldn't say that for a second. But even many of the lower to middle class women can be quite pretty – the ones who work in LOCAL beer bars are, as usual, a smart place to place your energy because while they aren't generally prostitutes, they do tend to be a bit more liberal and open-minded (and attractive). Same with girls working in higher end hotels and foreigner restaurants and what-not.

In fact, most Thai men who've been there or anywhere near there will tell you that they find Laotian women to be extremely beautiful – even preferring them to Thai women. If more guys who visit Southeast Asia would stop and actually have a conversation with a Thai male in the country, they could go ahead and hear this opinion for themselves. It's really not that hard – Thai men like discussing foreign pussy as much as we do.

To go further, many Thai men in the know travel to the country just to chase tail, as they are well received by the women, and the smartest ones often choose them for wives because they aren't as modernized and ruined as Thai women.

More pleasant and submissive. And "mee nom yai,” of course.

On top of that, once you're married to a Laotian woman, you could still possess a lot of sexual freedom if you played the cards right - gender dynamics are still very old school and you'd be blown away by the shit my Thai/Laotian buddy gets away with, even with his somewhat famous wife.

I'm not sure of the current status on fornicating with local women - last time I was there, a local guy told me it's no longer illegal. I'm not sure if he knew what he was talking about, but either way, I've definitely banged my share of women there and have yet to experience any issues. I've heard of guys having problems with the police, but these were always guys making a big spectacle of themselves and pissing people off.

On my last trip, I banged a hot deaf mute girl (I've got a thing for the mastery of body language many deaf girls possess lol) on a blanket on the floor while her gay friend sat on the bed grinning like a kid in a candy store. Not for everyone, sure, and one of my stranger bang experiences, but that's neither here nor there, and drunken me for one thought it was pretty fucking hilarious. On the other end of the spectrum, some rich girl snuck me into the backdoor of the mansion where she lived with her parents on my very first trip to Luang Prabang.

That being said, while I think it'd be an awesome place to live with some of the funnest, most hospitable people you'll meet anywhere, it's of course not a very good place for a player to live. Much like Cambodia, it's better to have longer-term girlfriends. Sexual norms are loosening, and there are sluts like anywhere, but you won't find a bunch of “normal girls” jumping on your dick right away. Laotian women are generally conservative and the place is small enough to get a reputation fast.

You could be a player there, and some white guys do, but I'd be lying if I told you that you'd do as well as in a good-sized city in Thailand. It would also take time to understand which “normal” girls were the looser type you could push it with.

If you're looking for a wife or long-term girlfriend, on the other hand – most of us aren't, but some are - I think it's a great place to live for the location independent, with a lot of opportunity in the air, and you could do a lot worse than a traditional Laotian woman at home keeping the fire burning and the kids fed. Again and again, Thai men warn me about marrying a Thai woman. Yet again and again Thai and Laotian men alike tell me that I SHOULD marry a Laotian.

It's also a very good place to network with moneyed locals – like Cambodia, you can make great contacts very fast if you know how to carry yourself.

One quick note on Laotians – at least until they get drunk, they can be a little more difficult to open up than the Thais. You'll often get completely ignored even if posted up in a local spot, especially if they are people with money, but as usual, a few brews will loosen them up, so just wait it out.

Once a Laotian likes you, you'll see how fun-loving and generous they are. I remember one time spending a lot of time at this restaurant in the city, schmoozing the old lady who ran the place and trying to hit on the staff and her daughter, and I could have sworn her older husband, who had a position in local government, really did not like me. Then one day just like that he invited me to the SEA games at Vientiane's new (at the time) stadium and bought me a ticket and we were driving around in his SUV pounding Beer Laos like good buddies and talking business.

As is usual, lower class locals with less experience of the world will be even more hospitable and warm - don't be surprised if you're at a temple party or some other shebang and one of them decides to sit there right at your side, blabbing at you in his own language, whether you understand or not, and cheersing you the entire night. A bit of a game kill, but it is what it is.

A notable difference as compared to Thailand is how they often share one glass among the entire table and pass it around drinking one at a time, and to me that's a strong indication of just how alive the communal spirit is there. Once you are in with the Laotians, you are very much in.

And of course it's a great place to get out in the countryside for some motorbiking, caving, or anything else outdoorsy. Landmines are obviously a problem, but if you stick to the beaten territory there is some beautiful shit to see.

If anyone tells you to give Laos a miss, I suggest you give THEM a miss – unless you yourself don't want to put out the time and effort to experience something unique and old school. A lot of guys won't be able to handle it, but for me it's another one of those places where if I completely surrendered to my more carnal nature I could lose myself forever to the simple things in life and die a very happy and contented man.

This is great and encouraging information about Vientiane and its outlying area. There is some big bait dropped here on this datasheet:

"I say these people have no imagination. Give me Vientiane over Vang Vieng any day of the week. The place is far from boring unless you are the most boring of travelers. Let's start with the nightlife. Yes, at first glance it seems quiet, but it's a Southeast Asian city, and like any Southeast Asian city there are clubs all over the place that are most definitely NOT in your guidebook or even on wikiletsallgotothesameplaces. Most of which have zero foreigners in them and that very often go until early hours of the morning, curfews be damned."

Do you recall any of the names and or locations of the places that stay open later than the current cerfew in the country? Could they be pick up on google maps or some other aid?

[Travel Museums]

Ive now been to every province of Laos. The country is no longer a drug/party destination.

I've seen a few retiree groups beyond Luang Prabang. But it's still mostly backpackers.

The outdoor adventure industry is new and still developing. Reliability and affordability were issues in some places.

Northern Laos:
In short you can safely skip Bokeo and Udomxai Provinces.

Luang Namtha is your best bet for both sightseeing and trekking with easy access to ethnic minorities. Treks there are regular and affordable, but tend to be lumped together among different packages and agencies.

Phongsali lacks infrastructure and a solid tourism industry. Fly from Vientiane to Boun Neau (oddly most treks are in this district). Organize a big group (5+) if you want to trek without waiting around for days.

I'd recommend also including the Lao/Tai homeland in China. Banna is where the Lao/Tai/Dai ethnicity originally emigrated from. Important to check out while in the area.

Not sure I'll be able to sync up with my Yunnan girl. From what I read it's easy to bus around to the ethnic villages in Xishuangbanna. Trekking is largely on your own. Not all villages still give free hospitality (food and accommodation) to foreigners.

I'll go into more details later. First let me share my experience on traveling with a SEA girl for so long. It's been interesting.

My Lao girl and I were together the better part of three months. Longest run I've had exclusively with one woman. Went surprisingly well.

We went to every province together. Wow! The whole country... We did pretty much every attraction, too.

Three trips together over two years. So we knew each other well. It went beyond just being comfortable. I had implicit trust. No way it'd have worked otherwise.

White God Factor in SEA can punch up your quality by a point or two. Still it doesn't negate the trust issue.

I was plain lucky to land an honest woman. I left her alone with all my stuff on a daily basis and never got robbed.

I TRY to only fuck around with educated or upper class girls. If she has free time I'm always left wondering is this girl is a freelancer, sponsored, or what? The only real screen is to actually take a trip and see what happens.

I'm not just talking about while showering. She watched my computer bag at bus stops, spent time alone in our room with the key, paid large bills, bought tickets, food, shopping, errands, brought back receipts, exact change, etc. I even left the country with her watching my stuff in the hotel.

Another tough issue is time and money. I prefer open-ended travel. I need flexibility to change plans, detour, explore, linger. This kind of travel takes saving or passive income.

I guess this chick is the SEA holy grail. A sponsored city girl whose traditional village upbringing keeps her personality in check.

The most mileage I usually get from an MLTR is a joint two-week vacation. Factoring in at least one bullshit fight over other girls.

For off-the-cuff romance it's usually just a day or weekend trip. A handful of times I've had girls fly somewhere for a week or so.

Lao was the only hot SEA chick I've met who didn't need a career, shit job, or to freelance. Her house and car were paid for by a sponsor. She's got some income from investments and business. She even ditched a new BF to take off with me for an indeterminate amount of time.

She finally ran down to her last few hundred thousand Kip this week. Was also getting antsy about her house. No one started her car or paid her utility bills in over two months.

Still it was a good deal for her. I paid for our accommodation, motorbikes, some small attractions. Pretty much everything I'd be paying for if on my own or with a random girl.

I was annoyed she loaned $300 to a guy she was fucking right before leaving. Of course when he found out about it me he refused to pay her back.

She threatened to leave early. I stood firm and in the end she got wired money to cover the rest of our trip. I guess all girls are programmed to test you for provider

Having her as a Laos guide was helpful but didn't make too much difference. Most people in tourism industry spoke English.

If I felt something was overpriced for the quality/service I sent her in alone and waited around the corner. She'd negotiate in Laos to save $1-2.

Seems small but adds up when you have multiple transactions each day: guesthouse, motorbike, laundry, restaurants, etc.

Admittedly most prices will drop a $1 if you smile and ask yourself in English. The real savings is on adventure stuff. Laos people can't afford it, so most companies offer it at cost.

For Gibbon Experience she got a HUGE discount (80% off) for herself by doing this. In Luang Namtha she got 50% off a trek (we decided to spend a night in Muang Sing to visit some ethnic villages ourselves).

Another savings is to book bus tickets yourself. Sometimes we were busy and had the Guesthouse make a "reservation". This could incur up to a 70% percent commission. Then you'd still have to show up early to claim an actual seat.

Using her phone to call ahead while on the bus also helped. When you get off long distance buses in Laos the station is outside town. All the farang pile into a tuktuk for a dash to the guesthouses.

In smaller towns there wasn't much availability. Most guesthouses aren't online and if they are using booking.com makes it significantly more expensive. A few times we got the last decent budget room by doing this.

She was a wonderful travel partner. Never complained. Hauled her own luggage plus our communal toiletry/food tote bag. Though by the end she had taken it over with cosmetics.

Traveling for more than a few weeks you need big bottles. We went shopping together and agreed on same products for shampoo, soap, mouthwash, toothpaste, etc.

It's sounds dumb but working out these little issues made the trip a lot easier.

It took daily reinforcement, but I got her swishing Listerine twice a day. Thank God. Asia is chock full of hot girls with rotten breath.

She'd hop out of bed to piss and swish before morning sex. She knew to avoid open mouth kissing me unless her breath was fresh.

The wet toilets in Laos are filthy. Often with no shelves or hooks. We bought big pump bottles to keep the business end off the moldy floors.

I'd shower first in the morning. She'd follow, twist pumps down, dry the bottles, and pack them. At night she'd shower first and set up the bathroom. Almost like being at home.

Bleach doesn't seem to exist in Laos. Towels are usually ratty and stained. Again it took reinforcement, but I had her making daily runs for "fresh" towels.

We developed a little technique into our sex to keep the bed dry. To squirt her we'd scoot to the edge with her ass hanging off. I'd help support her legs backwards for balance. Then cup my free hand when she erupted so the fountain (mostly) gushed to the floor.

Again it sounds small but working out little domestic issues like this makes extended travel a lot more pleasant.

Finding a machine washer in small Laos towns was sometimes impossible. Or we'd roll through town too quickly to get it back by morning. Laundry is air dried here.

No problem for a former village girl. She washed it all by hand with no complaint. Then strung it in front of the fan. I'd glance over to think "Wow this 9 is scrubbing by clothes with a smile on her face. What planet am I on?"

By the end, she was even manually inflating my camping air pad and setting it up under the top sheet. I don't know how anyone can sleep on these cheap Asian mattress.

Staying in budget accommodation has its drawbacks. But it's what allows me to travel full time. If you keep a domestic girl with you to do all these kind of things it makes it far more tolerable over the long term.

I put her on a plane this morning from Phongsali to Vientiane (900,000K). Flights are Tue, Thu, Sat morning (if I understood the Lao Skyway office at the Vipaphone Hotel).

She was thrilled to avoid a 24hr bus ride. Even offered to pay me back when we meet again next month for Pi Mai.

I'm on a bus heading back to Odomxai. I plan to spend a week or two in Yunnan, China. Maybe do some trekking in Luang Namtha beforehand since I still have plenty of time left on this Laos visa.

I saw everything in Jinghong on a trip with my Yunnan girl. But didn't make it any further south. Xishuangbanna is called Sipsongpanna by Tai/Lao people. The areas between the Lao border and Jinghong is home to several small ethnic minority villages.

As a bonus last week Yunnan texted me she broke up with her BF and asked where I was. So maybe get her to fly down.

She's a business type. She wasn't happy staying in crappy hostels. And rather than do the domestic work she just paid for us stay in a real hotel. Kinda weird how different girls can do such different things to make her man feel comfy.

I have to admit the long bus rides and mediocre guesthouses in Laos have worn me down. It's nice being alone now.

I just plan to chill out. Game here isn't even worthwhile. In three months I can count on one hand the hot girls I've seen. Most with boyfriends or beta orbiters.

Bangable local girls are rare too. With only a night or two in town it's a tough sell unless things are just right.

Overstaying my visa in Laos by a few days wasn't a big deal. But at $10/day could get expensive quick.

Bokeo Province (Miss)
Gibbon Experience zipline is the only real attraction. It was good but Tree Top Explorer zipline in Champasak is better.

There's nothing else of note in the province that you won't see elsewhere. Tuktuk drivers in Huay Xai are dumb and lazy. Good luck getting a tour. No one rents motorbikes.

Most tourists on Mekong slowboat say they feel like it was a waste of two days. Fly to Luang Prabang instead.

Do the Golden Triangle area from Chiang Rai Province Thailand. Much better.

Chiang Rai Province (Hit)
Spent two weeks and went everywhere in Chiang Rai. Even scored a third land crossing when I came back from Shan State, Myanmar. Thai border officials can be flexible if they want to. Air pollution horrible by March. Tinder.

Luang Namtha Province (Hit)
Half a dozen trekking agencies in town. Most have at least one trek leaving the next day. Easy to find a group of 4+ to keep it affordable.

The treks are in Nam Ha NP so the actual hiking won't be on a deforested ridge like parts of Phongsali (Pak Nam Noi). But expect to be clumped with other tour groups who paid slightly different prices.

The ballpark for a one night trek was K400,000. This is half what you'll pay in Phongsali. You'll have more options to choose from as well. Most leave the next day.

The Kao Rao caves are a long motorbike ride and can be skipped. The museum is ok but has hardly any explanations of the tribal groups.

The rapids (ahem waterfall) south on the Nam Tha are small. I'm sure there's somewhere better to raft in SEA. The trek guide I met at the rapids asked to borrow my motorbike to buy food for his group in the next village. His group said they'd been clumped with others but they were the only ones who'd signed up for this portion.

Namdee Waterfall is barely flowing in dry season. But still go to see Lanten people make bamboo paper. It was the weekend so I watched local boys hunt crab in the falls.

Muang Sing is good for an overnight motorbike trip. It's morning market is nothing special though.

You can drive to the villages of 10+ ethnicities. The older Akha women were dressed up and even bare breasted. But the other groups looked like any lowlander Lao Loum villages. Still was easiest and cheapest way to meet and chat with a dozen minorities in a day. (My girl was a key translator though bc none spoke English. Otherwise you'll have to hire a guide.)

Muang Sing is a dump but has an ok tribal museum. Half the town is Chinese and locals can cross into Yunnan.

Udomxai Province (miss)
Really nothing to see here. The town isn't a dump but doesn't stand out either. The museum is decent. Most exhibits had English.

Nam Kat waterfall is no longer a picnic spot. It's been developed by a resort that charges 90,000K and cuts off access past mid afternoon. To get there a tuktuk is 200,000K or 100,000 for a motorbike rental. No helmets with visors and the road is very dusty with construction trucks. Even if you pay the last 5km of road is accessed is via a resort golf cart aimed at selling you on an elephant ride or zipline. There's also a disgraceful fake Khamu village straight out of Disneyland.

Zero people signed up for treks at tourist office over 3 days. Funny hours.

Muang La isn't nearly as pretty as it sounds. Chill out somewhere else.

Phongsali (Hit but be prepared)
The bus from Udomxai to Muang Khua is only 3 hours. So I'd recommend connecting straight through from Luang Namtha (4 hours from Udomxai). Most people seem to arrive by boat having come up 5-7 hours on the Ou River from Nong Khiaw (the even better chillout spot).

Muang Khua had some trekking options but the tourist office was disorganized. Walking around town and over the bridges takes an hour. The only real activity left to do is a guided trek. Only one person was signed up for a trek (on a deforested ridge to a village who's members I chatted at the bus stop). There was a wedding in town booking up all the decent places so we only stayed one night. Not the best impression.

Some tourists continue up the Ou River to Phongsali town. But it's less popular and expensive. You'll get stuck a night 1.5 hours from Phongsali town in the port village of Hatsa (which is boring and expensive homestay).

We took an early bus back to Pak Nam Noi. Waiting for the Udomxai bus heading for Phongsali to roll in takes a few hours. The village has nothing to do and you can't leave the bus stop area to trek around without risk of losing your seat.

What amazed me was that right there at the bus stop were several women from different ethnic groups selling their bamboo shoots and trinkets. All in ethnic costume. A few older women even had the full head to toe outfit not just bags and headdress.

How many tourists do you think walked over to chat or interact with them? None. No foreigners. No Laos. Just me and my girl. The other foreigners just sat there staring off into space for hours. These were all tourists planning to trek to remote villages to meet these people.

Some of the women were from small groups like Ko Lo and other Akha subgroups. They let us take photos with them. I gave some small money as thanks.

The older women had tried to use the tie a bracelet on your wrist sales technique. I made a point of just giving her the money with a translation that it was because I was so happy to see someone proudly displaying their Akha ethnic identity. She insisted she wasn't Akha but Ko Lo.

I noticed almost all the treks in Luang Namtha and Phongsali take you to Akha/subgroup villages. People visiting northern Laos are mostly interested in Akha so I guess that's supply and demand.

Still seems weird to spend all that time and money hiking through secondary forest but not talking to them when they're sitting a mere 20 feet away. I saw the same non-interactions with Hmong villagers and trekking tourists in central Laos.

The bus up to Phongsali was 8 hours. Climbing in elevation it barely crawled. Lucky we got a sleeper.

The bus ride back down was much shorter like 5 hours to reach Pak Nam Noi. A few more to Udomxai.

Phongsali is at 1500m. Highest city in Laos. It has the best tribal museum in the north. I spent a whole day in it. Phongsali wasn't founded by Lao people. I read it was Phou Noi people who migrated from Myanmar.

Renting a motorbike in Phongsali is tricky. Get up early bc there's not enough to go around! Typical junked up bikes for 100,000K. What else is new? The town is hilly but walkable. You'll want to stroll the old Chinese quarter on foot. Continuing on foot up Phu Fa sky mountain is a good workout.

I found one helmet with a visor. The road to the tea and whiskey villages aren't too dusty though. The tea village is far more interesting and has a great little exhibit on tea. The previous tourist left his compressed tea cigars in the bikes hold so that was a nice savings.

The view of town from Phu Fa is great. Though the sea of clouds burns off early in March. We didn't see it since Amazing Lao Travel only rents bikes from 8am. No way I'm walking up earlier. Sunset from Phu Fa is tricky as well. The sun sets prematurely behind thick atmosphere but still somewhat colorful.

Amazing Lao and the Tourist Office are the only two places to get a guided trek in Phongsali town. The former is overpriced and the latter doesn't keep regular hours. Neither had a sign board to chalk names of interested parties, group size, dates, length of trek, etc. Completely disorganized.

I stopped by each office several times/day. Unless you happen to be there at the same time as another trekker you'd get the same story: "some people are interested, but no one signed up, so stop by later". Then they'd turn out to want different tours, wait for more people to make it affordable, or a guide wouldn't be available.

I watched a small group stay up past 9pm haggling last night. Went to bed bc I had to get my chick on a morning plane. I stopped by at 7am to see if I could join.

They ended up paying K750,000 each for a one night homestay and hiking just two Akha villages. Their leader was pissed I didn't stay up to help negotiate. Without my girl my addition wouldn't lower their pp price.

On previous nights I met other groups who'd negotiated K750,000-900,00 for a 5 village hikes for 3days 2 nights.

Visiting more villages is nice I guess but the routes are mostly circles so even going for 5-6 nights doesn't get you very deep into the forest.

When I'd ask for pinpoints on a topo map the hikes seemed like something I'd be comfortable doing myself in cheap plastic sandals or going to a nearby village by moto.

Oddly I think the nearby ethnic villages on dirt roads may see less foreigners than some of the more popular trekking destinations around Phongsali town. The reason for this is tourists on treks want to feel like they're going to a village that isn't linked to society by a road. Roads tend to modernize and homogenize ethnic identities.

Most of the more interesting treks seemed to leave from Boun Neau or Boun Tai which are small Provincial villages well away from Phongsali town. Boun Neau has the airport and may actually become the new provincial Capitol.

I stopped in Boun Tai on the bus ride up. Again I talked with some of the ethnic minority villagers so felt kind of weird paying for a trek around there. Plus it's a few hours drive south.

Laos Itineraries
My recommendation would be to fly into Luang Prabang. Then head south to Vang Vieng and Vientiane.

From the Capitol take a bus to Konglor Cave. Then connect to Savannakhet for a short stop.

From Pakse make a loop of the Boliven Plateau. This is the most beautiful place in Laos (unless you hate epic waterfalls with natural swimming pools).

Wat Phou is a unesco world heritage Khmer sight in Champasak. Worth a stop, especially if you're going to Cambodia for Angkor Wat.

Then either continue onto Cambodia or cross the border to Ubon for a cheap flight back to Bangkok.

If you have more time you can fly into Vientiane then air connection to Phongsali. After seeing Phongsali and trekking head to Luang Namtha for another trek to different hill tribes. Then continue to Chiang Rai Thailand.

Alternatively from Phongsali connect to Muang Khua. Boat down Nam Ou River to Muang Ngoi/Nong Khiaw. Then bus to Luang Prabang.

The 9 hour night bus from Vientiane to Phonsavan isn't too bad unless you are already jet lagged and coming off a flight. However Xieng Khouang and Houaphan Province are probably less interesting to the average tourist. Plain of Jars is something that looks exactly like the postcard. Same for Pathet Lao caves of Vieng Xai.

If you have more time to spend in central/southern Laos the Thakhek Loop is OK. But it's all caves and no waterfalls. To me it's caves all seem more or less the same with the exception of Tham Kong Lo (Konglor).

Savannakhet and Champasak has some eco-trekking. But if you have the time I suggest the Tree Top Explorer zipline or of Pakse. They'll Bus you through Paksong coffee plantations and into a national protected area for the actual trek.

Unlike Gibbon Experience it's not just ziplines. With TTE you repel, scale a waterfall/cliff face, rope bridges, and trek through and jump into cascading waterfalls.

Laos has several border crossings connecting to rural provinces of Vietnam. If you plan a visa in advance or get a two week waiver (most EU I think) the main one to check out is from Muang Khua to Dien Bien Phu.

This is where the Vietminh sieged the French and collapsed their colonial hold on Vietnam. I'd have made the trip save for not having a visa.

Laos has several connections with Isan Thailand. The main reason most tourists cross is to take a budget flight back to BKK for $20-30.

It's worth spending a week relaxing in Ubon R or Udon T after your Laos adventure. Pipeline Tinder and you'll have a Thai college fuck fest to send you off.

If you're after a Lao flag your best bet is Vientiane or Luang Prabang. Most good looking Lao women are going to move there for opportunity.

I saw some ok faces on Laos women in villages and small cities, but they're not dieting and exercising. Even if keen finding a way to social and isolate them for a SNL would be difficult unless you have a remote bungalow.

Plenty of gross western female backpackers though. I'm talking mostly 4-5s with a rare 7-8 college girl. Quality goes way up in Luang Prabang and Vang Vieng.

Of you do get into a relationship with a Laos women and you want to see her again be prepared for some Bullshit that you have no control over. My girl really wanted me back in Vientiane with her until it's time for Pi Mai. I really wanted to go. But I can't stay in her home. We have no problem traveling all over Laos as bf and gf. But despite being. Big city Vientiane is where her social network is. We tried it last year. The grapevine reacted like wildfire and after a few nights her family was on her case. A frenemy could make one phone call and have us both arrested and needing to bribe the cops. Then I could still be a red from coming back to Laos.


To her it was relaxing to fly home. But to me I'd have to get a hotel and live it of a suitcase. Gets old when you can't even sleep over.

Secondly her English is not great and never will be. That's probably the nice thing that helps us connect on a fun and romantic man to woman level. But to have kids and build a life together? Significant hurdle that I'd have to be head over heels to want to deal with over say an Isan girl with near perfect English.

[Travel Museums]

Oh yeah I blanked out on Si Phan Don aka 4,000 islands on the border with Cambodia which I did last year. This is the best chill out spot in Laos. It's like your reward at the end of the country. You take a boat to don det or don khon islands and bicycle around for a few days. Some great cataracts on the Mekong that form epic mini niagara waterfalls.

Just stopped in Udomxai for the night. Thinking I'd give the town a second shot. Stopped by the Visitor center and they basically talked me out of it.

[Travel Museums]

Ended up leaving udomxai next morning for china. Crossed border at Boten-Mohan. Boten looked like a ghost town. Apparently the casinos shut after Chinese gamblers got kidnkapped in 2010.

Bus from boten to mengla seemed to leave hourly. From mengla to menglun was two hours.

Got a hotel right outside the tropical botanical garden. 2 min walk from bus station. Chunlin Binguan for ¥80. The garden opened up at 7:30am and took all day to see everything.

Will see if I can stay here and take a bus around to the nearby jino minority ethnic village.

Anyone gamed in Yunnan? I went to some clubs in Kunming a few years ago. Guys wanted to arm wrestle and pet my hairy forearm. Girls were in pairs and interacting beyond cheering their glasses was awkward without any mandarin. Was staying in a hostel so didn't try very hard.

Planning to head bys to ethnic villages outside Jinghong. Then head for Pu'er and the rice terraces.

I've had a plate spinning in Lijiang for a few years. We've only had 4 trips together and this last time it's been over a year.

When she came to LA this winter I wasn't around. She took a look at my IG and saw I was in Laos with another girl and took me off her wechat.

After a few friend requests she accepted me and said we'd always be friends. Then last week messaged she broke up with her bf and asked where I was. I was non-reactive. Suggested maybe we could Meetup soon.

Try messaging her this week and I get that friend verification bullshit. I've had Chinese girls do this to me before when they get boyfriends.

Don't see why they can't just be cool and keep in touch. They usually add me back anyway and say they're emotional.

I'm constantly switching between Line, WeChat, Whatsapp, etc every few months. I just don't have time to post photos to each timeline and keep plates spinning with text convos. I kind of like the fact that it keeps girls in different countries separate without a spreadsheet. But not sure how I can keep them from going cold?

There seems to be no separate threads for Yunnan. It's a popular domestic destination for chinese. Dali and Lijiang even have reputations for hooking up. I got laid in both places summertime. Went back to Lijiang in early spring and it was DEAD on a Saturday night. Like every bar in old town was empty at midnight-1am. Guess is a summer thing.

[Travel Museums]

Most travelers from Laos will want to head straight for the big cities of Jinghong or Kunming.

Last year I flew from Jinghong Airport (Xishuangbanna) to Luang Prabang Laos. I spent about 5 days in Jinghong which was plenty of time to see everything.

There are some things outside Jinghong worth checking out. Xishuangbanna is a very popular destination for domestic Chinese. Most stay in Jinghong so it's easy to stay there and take daily buses. Though it may be 2 hours each way to some outside towns.

However if coming in from Laos by land I would suggest a stop for one night in Menglun (not Mengla). The Xishuangbanna Tropical Botanical Garden is a bigger version of the one in Jinghong. It took me all day.

I bused an hour to Mengyang which has nothing to see in town. Couldn't even find a foreign ATM nor currency exchange. Had just enough cash to pay my hotel and take a taxi to Jinou Mountain.

Ji'nou Shan Mountain Village is ¥160 for a Chinese tour that lasts a few hours. Jinuo are the last ethnic minority of China's 57 official tribes, "discovered" in 1979. Also the poorest with only 12,000-18,000 members.

It's super touristy human zoo type stuff with costume dance performance. However I was given an English/Tai guidebook that went into lots of detail. I probably learned more than the Chinese pensioners on the tour.

I had to hitchhike back which was easy. Wanted to bus this morning to the Wild Elephant Valley but there is no direct connection.

I hitchiked the few km back and forth from my hotel to town last night and this morning. Banks were open but wouldn't even change Hong Kong dollars to RMB. The only banks were Yunnan and ABC. China Construction Bank only had broken ATMs and no office.

Had to use my last few RMB to get the bus to Jinghong. Where I should have no problem changing currency and finding an ATM. There's even a Walmart.

Flirted with some girls on the street who spoke no English. Played Badoo Encounters and was matching with girls all over China. Is there a setting to only show people in your area? Even when I go on People Nearby in Wechat the nearest are 50-60km away. Tinder had one Chinese girl who looked like she was in Jinghong by distance.

I've noticed that with TMobile roaming on China Mobile my Facebook Pages app and Instagram work. IG seems to work on wifi too so maybe not blocked? Onavo Protect is still working as a VPN. Just make sure to download and setup BEFORE you're in China.

I pay $40 per year for Private Internet Acces vpn but it never works on my phones. Only laptop.

[Travel Museums]

Took a bus from Jinghong back through Mengyang. Realized I'd been on same bus line earlier when I hitchhiked from my hotel into town looking for an ATM.

The bus station in Mengyang will tell you there's no bus to Banna Wild Elephant Valley. Then point you to taxis outside. But you can just flag down any bus passing through the center of Mengyang heading north. They'll drop you off on the highway offramp. So you'll have to hitch or walk another mile to the entrance.

After going all the way to Jinghong and back through Mengyang I didn't get there until 3pm. I had enough time to see the bird show, take the rope way up, then walk down the boardwalk. It was deserted. Just me and the Wild Asian elephants. The 100 tour buses lining the road had me worried!

Lonely Planet says you won't see any elephants. Apparently late afternoon was best timing anyway. I saw a dozen elephants. They return to the salt licks and river around the boardwalk and are quite active at that time.

There was a small museum halfway down. I missed the ethnic dance and elephant shows. I hitched back to Mengyang with a worker and took the last bus to Jinghong.

Next day I bused to Menglun (Ganlanba). Met some girls at the entrance to the Dai ethnic park. One cute friend ugly. The cute one came up and said hi to me. Then I saw her ugly friend had purple hair so just excused myself.

I assumed this fad was long gone. In 2014 I dated a cute bisexual 21 yo girl in Shanghai. She had just graduated and got an apt next to Xintiandi. Gave me a key.

Unfortunately she died the ends of her hair purple and got a nasty bastard male cat that also shed everywhere. She even likes sleeping with it which threatened my camping air pad with it's claws. Without the pad I couldn't sleep on the hard bed.

So if I see that bright blue/purple/red colored hair shit, I immediately next them. It's a gut reaction.

Met two other girls on the bus home. Cute one spoke some English. She was sitting on inside of seat. Her fugly friend got my Wechat first and tried to bat away the cute ones phone "like no no he's mine".

It was hilarious. Meanwhile a fat middle age weird Chinese guy is annoyed that I wouldn't give him my wechat when he was pestering me earlier. That got the entire minibus laughing.

Fllirted a bit on wechat. She said she'd be honored to be my girlfriend. MmmK. Are you a good kisser? No. I'll teach you. No. The texts kinda died there and I scrapped plans to take her to night market. She was only 19.

Left town this morning. Stopped in Menghai. Guidebook mentions their produce market. Probably better in morning but I had two hours to kill. I did see some ethnic minority shopping/selling.

Heading to Xiding which should have a better Thu morning market tomorrow. Stopped by the Banna Cafe last night. No guides available but was told to ask in Xiding about how to find the Bulang and Aini ethnic villages.

In the center of Jinghong I stayed in a private room at the Mekong River Intl Youth Hostel (¥80). It's entirely Chinese travelers but they didn't want to let me stay in the dorm. Claimed they were full though I could clearly see empty beds when I walked by. Unfortunately their eating area is out front.

I'm always amazed at how easy gaming in China appears to be on the surface. There's tons of cute young college girls traveling around. So as a tourist you'll see them everywhere you go.

Daygame is easy as saying hi and asking for wechat. They tell you how awesome and handsome you are. But still tend to be reserved/inexperienced. Getting them isolated is an issue since most desk girls at the hostels will stop you to ask for her identity card.

A method I've used is to say we're just going to eat dinner in the restaurant. Then order a drink and decide the menu sucks. After a few minutes notice you need to charge your phone.

It takes some alcohol to get them to loosen up so make sure your drinks are bottles that you take with you to the room. Then go into a photos routine and start kino.

Hardest part is finding a hostel with the right setup. Ideally you can avoid reception altogether, but that's rare. I've had girls even tell me beforehand they wouldn't come back because they were embarrassed to give their identity card.

If you're really lucky there will be cute girls already in the hostel. But they like to sort around eating, smoking, drinking in a group which requires some social investment.

[Travel Museums]

Xiding is a small village 15km or so from Myanmar border. It's Thursday morning market had dozens of Aini women. A couple in full authentic dress.

To get there bus Jinghong > Menghai > Xiding. Takes an afternoon. The shop has a few hotel rooms above for ¥80. You'll have to get there the night before to see the market at 7-8am. It's over by late morning. Worth it.

Came back and jumped off bus at Jingzhen. The Octagonal Pavilion is supposedly famous but it was nothing special. I would skip it.

Hitchhiked to Menghun. Had better part of two days to kill here. Motorbike taxi to a Bulong Village (Nongyang). Sat for awhile with locals.

They tried to fix me up with a single 22 year old who was kinda cute. She was really embarrassed and wouldn't walk with me around the village. Got some pics of women in authentic dresss.

Next day went to Menghai by minivan. Asked every motorbike taxi I saw about two specific Lahu and Hani villages. I had the names in Chinese on my photo of the bus map at Jinghong Station.

Only one guy acted like he knew them. He ended up taking me all the way back to Nannuoshan Mountain. It's a Hani grouping of tea plantations. But nothing worth seeing as they are scattered up the mountain. There's literally endless tea plantation terraces like this all around Xishuangbanna.

Once back he tried demanding ¥100 over the ¥20 we agreed on. I figured he'd want more so no surprise. I kept telling him not to take me to nannuoshan so I feel justified not tipping him four times the fare.

He's giving me cold shoulder when I try to give him the base fair. I translate for him to enter his tip into my calculator with an amount that will make him happy. But not more than ¥50 total.

He won't deal with me. After a few minutes I was annoyed and I offered an extra ¥10. Still not good enough so I stick the money in his pocket and walk away.

He comes after me making a scene and grabbing me. I grab a shopkeeper sweeping and tell him this crazy dude is trying to kidnap me. Call the police. I make a big scene and gather a crowd.

Everyone jumps on the motor taxi guys side bc he's shouting in Chinese I didn't pay him. I google translate to look in his pocket you'll see the folded ¥20+¥10 bills I gave him. The shopkeeper pulls it out.

Things are tense for a some minutes with the crowd in disbelief. I'm patiently waiting for the cops to show up. They keep showing me on their phones that the cops are coming in a few moments.

I thank them. Translate, Please stay here. You are witnesses. He has been paid. He assaulted me. My father is a military general. I do not tolerate criminals. You're service will be appreciated.

They're befuddled. I refuse to be rattled. They change tactics ask me to just pay him an extra ¥50. No. And so on: 40,30,20,10...

A kid in his twenties actually got on the phone and verified cops are on their way. Suddenly cabbie breaks. Pats me on the back. Ok ok. You paid me. Go. Whole scenario lasted maybe 5-10 min but felt like an hour.

Honestly I was more bored than annoyed or I'd have just paid the ¥50 I knew he'd be happy with originally. I've been in situations like this many times. So long as I know I'm legally right I push the envelope and the Chinese flip their reaction when they realize I must be politically/socially connected to rather than bluffing.

Still had almost an entire day to kill. Checked out Menghai's morning market which is nothing special. Some Dai women in mass produced silk/polyester wraps. You'll see that everywhere in Xishuangbanna.

Finally installed tantan. Matched with over 100 girls. Went through a few methods of response but it was confusing. Ended up just texting on first reply to add me on wechat if she was 7+. Anything else got unmatched.

Early rise for Menghun's Saturday morning market. Takes over the entire Main Street. Met all the previous minorities plus some Akha. They insisted they were Akha and not Hani. I thought that was odd.

Was packed up and out the door of hotel. A tantan girl showed up and took me to her house. Had beer and Dai food with her family.

They were tea farmers. She does tea service in the shop. I see where this is headed...

We had texted about going up to a Lahu mountain village. She eventually lets out that I'll have to pay ¥300 for taxi. I ignore it.

After an hour,I ask when are we going? It's getting late. She asks would I like to buy some tea to take home. Her brother had already swung by and said the tea was a million yuan or something ridiculous which I ignored.

I just get up and walk out to the street. Third car I flag down stops and takes me back to Menghun.

Within 15 minutes I'm meeting another tantan girl. She's disappointing and less hot then her photos. I expect the air brushed thing but these girls will even dramatically change their face shape.

Funny thing is when I joined tantan I put up a professional headshot and it says it's fake multiple times and hides my entire profile. Meanwhile every girl on their has photos that either obscure her face or are digitally altered beyond recognition.

Anyway she buys me a two iced coffee and a late lunch. Bring her back to my room. She's shy and we play around on our phones making music videos with us dancing together.

I finally get my hands on her pussy and her mom calls. They're staying in my hotel on a biz trip from Kunming. She has to go let her in room. Power finally came back on after being out all day in town.

Getting bored with Xishuangbanna. Have a few more places and I'll head up to Pu'er. Them over to the Hani rice terraces.

Just started a new quarter Apr, May, Jun in my travel journal. Reflected on how much time I invest in game and how I rarely meet a girl worth getting to know. It happens a few times a year I guess. But I'll screw it up by not sticking around.

For instance the girl in Lijiang who asked me to marry her. I had to be honest which she had a hard time hearing. After some flip flopping I think she's cut me off for good. What really annoys me is Inshould have enjoyed having her as a base way more. I could have seen all of Yunnan Province then moved on.

Problem is then if I'd invest 6-12 months in one place. There's a whole world to see in that time. I'd also be be lucky to get a few side ONS if I'm living with a chick. Imagine fucking only a handful of women in months vs dozens. Hmm. It's a quality problem.

In a way a country like Laos is easy. When you meet a hot girl you know with almost certainty you won't do any better. In a big country like China you're thinking either I can do better or I'll be able to get laid so much it's not worth being locked down. But moving around every night or two it's hard to meet quality.

[Travel Museums]

Transited through Jinghong to get to Damenglong. The food stands at the #2 bus station all know me now

Damenglong has a couple temples. White Shoot Bamboo Pagoda is pretty touristy with Chinese groups and trams. It's OK but nothing special if you've see Dai temples in Laos. The tour is in Chinese. I refused to pay the ¥50 so they just let me walk around on my own for ¥10.

Menglong town is pretty basic but has a little more character than the others I came from. I'd recommend coming for a day from Jinghong but not spending the night. Surrounding countryside is all rubber plantations. Mostly Dai people. Didn't see any other ethnic minorities.

Bused back through Jinghong to Yiwu. A girl on the bus helped me get a hotel ¥150. I guess bc it's Qing Ming Festival. Bus station was crowded but it'll be much worse in another week for the Dai water splashing festival.

I was planning to leave China and go back to Luang Prabang to watch the Pi Mai Parade. But my Laos girl got in a motorbike accident.

She traveled on the back of a moto with me for three months on harrowing dirt roads through adverse weather without a scratch.

She's home a few days and has two accidents. The first just bruises. The second banged up pretty good. "But I only had three drinks..." "Never drive at night in Laos!"

She can't take the bus like that and replied that flying would be "expensive". If I cancel my flights it's going to cost what I'd just be paying to fly her there. I think she knows that.

I doubt she crashed her moto and skinned herself for a free flight. It's just annoying hot girl behavior. I heard a comic once say "You can either be lonely or annoyed..."

In Yiwu I walked around town with the girl. I had no real interest though she was skinny enough. Found the Tea Museum. Locked and dusty. I don't think it's ever open.

Guidebook says Yunnan has three old Tea-Horse Road post towns you can still visit. I've done Shuhe north of Lijiang and Shaxi south of it. I guess Yiwu is the third but it's not covered.

A Chinese family from Qingdao noticed us. Invited for tea. Turned into a couple days of tagging along their tea expedition.

They laid a tour guide to take them to small Yi and Yao villages to taste tea. So I got really lucky. They paid for me and refused my offer to cover meals. One village was pretty much on the China-Laos border of Phongsali. This morning they drove me back down to Jinghong.

Invited me to see Lincang and Tengching too but didn't want to overstep my welcome. Would have involved flying around.

On a bus headed for Pu'er (Simao). Maybe a museum there? Ning'er ancient town is a day trip.

Matched some tantan girls there. A cute one booked a hotel for me and invited me to her house for dinner.

I better dye my hair. I've noticed girls reacting a little weird when I go up to them lately. Haven't dyed my hair in months since I was with my Laos girl. Some grays are showing. Must be it.

Copy pasted "Hey I'm in China!" to every wechat convo I have going. Took hours. Got 80 or so responses.

Most are from girls far away. Badoo Encounters has a bad habit of matching you with people all over China. Or they'd be girls on vacation. And a lot from my time in SH, BJ, HK.

A lot had that friend verification thing. Just copy pasted the same message into it. A few accepted it and conversed.

It was depressing to see the dynamic of 2-3 years of random messages at play. Came to the conclusion that it was mostly a waste of time conversing with chicks I had no plans to be in the area of.

Some of the better ones got boyfriends. Two decent (but nothing special) chicks I met last year in Chengdu got impregnated and taken to the West by chumpy looking boyfriends.

These dudes spoofed Tinder from home. Chatted the girls into an online romance. Then came over and shot their load. Brought them to USA and EU fort he baby to be born. The girls were ok, but the dudes were definitely punching a few points above their weight class. Balding and ugly middle age guys. But probably the best thing for these girls considering their options here.

Most of the hotter girls I fucked either have me blocked or won't answer a friend verification. I assume that means they have boyfriends. At various times I will hear from them but it's totally random then they block me again. Some have pics with the guy as their main photo so I assume it's serious.

Took about two hours to get here. The hotel at the bus station came down to ¥118. A girl in Pu'er booked a ¥60 hotel and is coming to pick me up at the bus station now. I have no info on this town. Just a brochure I picked up in Laos. I hope she's not another tea scammer.

[Travel Museums]

Girl in puer was legit 22 hb6-7. Picked me up at bus station. Was wearing knee high black boots and short skirt. Mmm. Stopped at supermarket. Bought food I like. Wouldn't take any money.

At hotel insisted I sit while she took my passport to check me in. Paid for my hotel room! Dropped bags in room and waited while I showered and changed.

Took me to her house. Sat me down to watch new red pill movie set in space. Washed my clothes and hung them. Cooked dinner. After movie sat and ate with her and her mom. A real feast.

She then DiDi (Chinese uber?) us to plum lake reservoir for evening walk. Got leg kino going in car and we held hands. Back at hotel she wouldn't let my hands under her skirt. Kinda left abruptly. She later said she thought I had a gf (true I guess).

Arranges her friends to take me sightseeing. They show up next morning in a muscle car. Do a live stream of drive with me in backseat.

Drop me off in Ning'er. I had a brochure that said it had an ancient town. Really a new tourist version. Small tea exhibit in Pagoda.

Took a bus further north to Mojiang. Again Pu'er tourism brochure said it was something special, but not really. Tropic of Cancer Park is worth an hour walk. It's aligned for the sunrise on the solstice I guess.

The market below has some Hani in costume. Got some great photos. This part of china is set aside as an autonomous district for Yi and Hani ethnic minority.

The Chinese friends took me to dinner with one of their clients. Then zoomed back to Pu'er which was quite far. They made sure I had a hotel at the bus station for an early departure.

Continued to Jianshui about 6.5 hours northeast. This has a very pleasant old town. It's out of Xishuangbanna. The feel is entirely touristy. This was the first time I REALLY felt like I left the Tai-Dai world and entered China.

It's for hours from Kunming so lots of tourists. Stayed at a hostel and met some nice Chinese people. The town has a days worth of attractions.

Worth a second day for a bike ride to the Yi village and some outlying attractions. A third day for Swallow's Cavern. By spring the birds have migrated back from Malaysia. They stream in and out at dawn/dusk. The cave is huge. The biggest in China or even Asia. Hi guys demonstrate free climbing the karst walls to collect bird nests. The festival is in August.

I got one last taste of Dai culture in Nansha. This is the new town for the Yuanyang Rice Terraces. Nothing to see usually. But My transit coincided with the Water Splashing Festival.

Paid a bit more for a hotel. But was worth it to see the early morning parade of Dai community. The water fight was epic. Got cheap plastic iPhone covers for ¥5-10 and film slow motion.

Egging on Chinese to surround and squirt me. Instigating attacks on every young girl I saw. Got something going with a Dai girl. Maybe a 7-8. But her sister wasn't going away. Despite smoky karaoke until 2am I only got a quick but passionate goodbye kiss. Oddly she invited me to her house several times after that, but I was busy.

The rice terraces: Oh my god! My reward at the end of 5 months of travel. The Hani sculpted these undulating miracles that wrap the myriad valleys. They cascade across and down being punctuated by small villages with thatched roofs.

I stayed at the new hostel in Pugaolao village. There's several by Timeless is new and fresh rooms. I had the dorm to myself for a few nights. Easy to walk outside to see the sunrise.

A through ticket is ¥100. But ask for the ¥50 if you're a student. Or ¥180 for a week. Then you can hit the viewpoints several times. Mostly they don't check. Except at Duoyishu for sunrise.

The terraces are best in winter when there's no rice blocking the light. Reds and yellows are reflected. But it's really a matter of clear skies and sun. I can't imagine being there in winter since it's at a mile elevation. Was pleasant in April except at night.

Some interesting markets. You can photo the Hani all around the Yuanyang villages. But on Sunday there's a huge market 1.5 hours south towards the Lao border.

Laomeng Sunday market had at least a dozen different ethnic minorities. I was scheduled to take a through bus from Xinjie to Kunming. But at breakfast I heard a group had just left. So bolted with my breakfast half eaten out the door.

Called for the Cambodian girl to come with but she was startled. Worth it though I had to make multiple connections later. Even paid a private car from Gejui straight to Kunming Airport (¥700).

When I got the car I Wechat called a girl from Beijing I met in Jianshui. Made sure she communicated to driver that I needed to her a foreign card ATM + get to the airport by 10pm. Sure enough the driver did both and had me there 5 minutes

When I got back to the hostel from the market the Cambodian girl changed her plans to come with me (no prompting). But she got scared at Xinjie and decided to wait for the sleeper and go with other girls from hostel.

So many near misses this trip. I'd say at least ten times I'd have gotten the bang if I stayed one more night and did a day two.

Was running late back to Kunming so I didn't have time to fuck around. At each connection I'd skip lines to ask when the next bus was. If it wasn't immediately I'd go out into the taxi/minivan cluster and shout the next connection point.

This method actually works well. No Chinese batted an eye. They were like yeah over here. And off I'd go in a shared taxi. At Geiju the shared taxi had too many people to drop off before the airport. So splurged.

Made my Kunming budget flight with 30 minutes to spare. Not bad for rolling across Yunnan in a day.

A note on using Ctrip app to book. They wouldn't change my flight from Luang Prabang. I decided it would be a bit tedious without my Lao girl. So I didn't go to Pi Mai.

Ctrip makes booking in China super easy but the cancel fee on a $250 ticket (Lao>Kunming>Chengdu) was $90. You're better off waiting until the last minute and doing a budget flight.

Chengdu Air, Sichuan, Ruili, Lao Air, China Eastern; I've flown them all, none charge baggage fees. Stay away from Lucky Air. They had the last flight out of Kunming at midnight but their baggage fees even apply to carryon personal items from reviews I read.

Also cool development is Facebook, Google, etc all work on T-Mobile roaming on China mobile. I was posting to IG and using maps. No problem. Then if I switched to wifi it wouldn't work on same phone.

So here I am in first class sipping champagne with an empty seat next to me. Headed back stateside. One night at home in NY. Then Puerto Rico.

Thinking I'll check out Kanda Festival in May in Tokyo. Odd years are the big year for it.

[Travel Museums]

My trip ended some time ago. But I’m still occasionally getting PMs from guys asking about fitting Laos into their SEA trips.

Yes do it!

Laos is by far my favorite SEA country. But for gods sake stop treating it as a bang mission. It’s not Bangkok!

We already had one RVFer get locked up by locals (probably pretending to be cops) for doing stupid shit. Luckily he paid his way out of it.

Laos is an agrarian communist country with draconian hookup laws. It’s technically illegal to even be alone in the same room with a girl.

Laotians will generally turn a blind eye to this. But this will quickly change if guys start going there and acting the fool. Things have already changed recently.

IMPORTANT:
Vang Vieng is over. You missed it. Laos govt cracked down in 2011-12. The winter tubing is slow and boring as fuck if you’re not high. Get a kayak. In fact, the main attraction of VV now is all the wonderful outdoor adventure stuff.

Laos is like Thailand was in the 1920s. I think that’s ironically refreshing. But it requires time. You’re looking at 4-12 hour bus rides over shitty roads just to get from town to town. Still think this is a good bang mission? Go to BKK!

I’ve posted a lot of detailed info on routes, festivals, negotiating draconian hookup laws. Yes you can fly to Vientiane and get laid. Black uniform did that. Look at what he had to say. What was his experience like? Pretty shitty. And his girl was ugly. He basically shored her by lying about paying.

Give the country a chance beyond bangs. Forget about trying to notch in Laos. You’ll get low quality if anything. It took me a week in Vientiane of going out. I had to dismiss all the low hanging fruit, backpackers, hookers, ladyboys, semi-pros. I found one decent looking girl I wanted to bang. And even she was a sponsorette in-between sugardaddies.

She was quite beautiful and Laos women are known for this. Some people say the most beautiful in SEA. I disagree. Most girls there are not hot. Most of the ones who’ll give it up to a transient foreigner are low quality. The traditional girls usually take a bit of time to crack.

Again: VV is no longer a party destination! It’s funny to me to still see packs of guys there roaming the street. Literally scratching their head wondering where the parties at?

VV has still has some nightlife. It’s worth going out but not JUST for bangs. LP or VT are probably better for that. The fugly Korean tourists are usually in groups. To me it’s a waste of time.

Laos is by far my favorite country in SEA. The politburo has been in charge since 1950s so it’s pretty chill with families that have long standing ties to their village (unlike Cambodia which got totally fucked over by Khmer Rouge).

I HIGHLY recommend you do the Boliven Plateau loop by motorbike. It’s in the lonely planet. Spend 4-5 days on it and do the extra little loop to the secret waterfalls. I did it in 3 days the first time and it was too rushed.

Do not leave your bag unattended at waterfalls like Tat Lo on the plateau. Those cute little kids steal phones or entire bags while you’re frolicking.

Then again I dropped my wallet in Thakhek and had it promptly returned by a soldier. Nothing missing. People here generally have honor. Just don’t expect it from little kids.

The Thakhek loop was cool too. The main attraction for that is Konglor Cave. There’s no waterfalls on that loop.

If you can, fly into Luang Prabang. It’s a much better first impression. The entire city is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Same goes for Cambodia. Fly into Siem Reap, NOT PP. With whatever time you have left spend it in Vientiane or PP before flying out.

Don’t bother booking a guesthouse unless it’s a festival. Some are on booking.com app. Most are not. You just walk in, ask to see a room, and negotiate for a dollar or two less. Very few guesthouses are on Hostelworld so don’t bother.

Like other guys who are protective of Thailand I feel the same way about Laos. I don’t want to see idiots going over there and fucking it up with bang mission behavior.

Keep in mind Laos got fucked over by USA aerial bombing in the Secret War. We dropped more ordinance than all of WWII (both sides combined). Macnamara said bomb them back to the Stone Age. Crazy fuck!

Everyday unexploded ordinance maims little kids. It’s horrific. And yet no Laos person ever mistreated me. Everyone was super friendly and kind.

You still have to look out for taxi guys overcharging and whatnot. But overall it’s a very sublime gem.

The economy is closed. That means you CANNOT exchange the currency outside Laos. That means you’ll get stuck with whatever currency you don’t use. Another reason to do a little planning.

Thumb though the ITINERARY SECTION of a Lonely Planet. The guides specifically are:
-SEA on a Shoestring
-Laos
-Northern Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, & Vietnam

The main suggestion in LP is to fly into BKK. Then hit Chiang Mai. And enter Laos from Huay Xia to do the Gibbon Experience.

I do NOT recommend this route. You will not see gibbons. Huay Xia is the most poorly managed town for tourism in Laos. Maybe the one place you can’t rent a moto. Taxi drivers lazy as fuck about tours.

You also need a reservation well in advance or youre stuck waiting days for the zip line trek to start. It was fun sure. But the MUCH BETTER zip line tour is the treetop explorer out of Pakse in the south.

From there it’s an easy connection to Rattanakiri and Mondulkiri which are my favorite areas of a Cambodia (along with Kampot on the coast).

Again the LP itnerary advises taking a bus straight to Siem Reap. This is long and retarded. Don’t skip the eastern section of Cambodia by driving through it on a nightbus. You often end up waiting at the border all night anyway because it closes at like 5-6pm. Full retard.

BTW, The reason I keep mentioning the LP itinerary is because every other foreigner you meet will be on it. It’s easy to join groups for part or all of it.

You can TRY to connect with a cute girl then break her off for your own improved itinerary. Though this is difficult bc they often have their flights prebooked.

They are locked into a specific date to fly back out from BKK (or SGN). They’ll rush you. Not worth it in my opinion.

Beware:
Ive met several dudes who break their itinerary to play beta orbiter to hot college age girls. They usually get friend zoned. Be prepared to do your own thing.

I’ve spent time with girls from several nationalities in Laos. If you can hook a local for some travel you’ll be happiest. Next in order are Thai, Chinese, Westerner. The latter being really only good for a quick fling.

I only ever saw one Vietnamese girl in Laos though she was pretty hot and already had a beta orbiter. Saw a smoking Thai girl like this too with her beta orbiter. Both around festivals.

Laos is quite affordable. You can live and travel there on $20-25/day. That’s for your own room, eating out, beer, admissions, taxis, moto rental, and buses.

Some long distance buses are a bit more expensive. I recommend lingering in the small towns for several days. This can get quite lonely if you’re not in a group or with a woman.

If you’re really adventurous there are some villages in the north that are only accessible by riverboat or moto/trekking. The guided trekking is a poor value unless you have 3-4 people in your group.

If you find this insightful or helpful please consider repping me for it. I don’t at all care about rep points. But apparently it’s a big deal to many.

I’ve dropped plenty of thorough analysises like this on other destinations. It gets ignored or called bullshit. Then later I get hounded for not contributing.

[Travel Museums]

Oh yeah. Rainy season ends in Oct/Nov and starts again in May. Go before March or it’s a bit smoky from slash and burn. By april too hot unless you’re up north in mountains.

That’s a window of 4 months. In the rainy season roads turn to mud and make rural moto impossible. This applies to most of Cambodia and Northern Thailand/Isan as well.

Still want to go? Read this first. Keep in mind this guy wasn’t even banging a local. Nor were his captors likely even police.
“I got arrested in Laos for banging a girl in public BDSM style”
(Mod please insert the hyperlink my phone is not cooperating.)

At least one RVFer has already changed his bang mission to Laos after reading this.

[yourboychris]

Bumping this thread. Hoping someone else can add more input in 2018 as the OP and most frequent posters are banned.

[Choo Choo Train]

Ban everyone. Fuck it. Ban books too.

[X90]

Second the call for updates here. Spent a few of days in Vientiane this year and found the girls and the atmosphere lovely. I'm planning to come back so in a few months for a longer stint, so some recent intl would be highly appreciated.

Also, Travel Museum's ramblings were epic.

[Eddie Morra]

(12-30-2018 06:47 PM)X90 Wrote:  

Second the call for updates here. Spent a few of days in Vientiane this year and found the girls and the atmosphere lovely. I'm planning to come back so in a few months for a longer stint, so some recent intl would be highly appreciated.

Also, Travel Museum's ramblings were epic.

Considering you only have one post in the forum and the fact that you had actually spent a few days in Vientiane, now could be your time to shine and write the update yourself.......instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Add some value instead extracting it.....