Quote: (04-24-2016 12:57 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
WIA has been talking about denying this programming and getting back to what it means to be a man and managing a woman.
How would I help my girl help me? That's the question.
I know what I like and need to get better at positively reinforcing it.
I'll give you and example of a sticky situation and I'd like some input on this. I'd be interested in how you'd handle it, WIA:
A couple years ago I was in a 6 month LTR with a girl. Last girl I ever really caught feelings for. There are a couple things that she did that I liked a lot that become areas of contention:
1.) She always dressed nice when she saw me
2.) She would cook for me often
On point #1: After a while there were times we would talk on the phone where she voiced she didn't feel like I thought she was pretty - like I didn't compliment her enough physically (there was some truth to this). She said she didn't feel like she could "be comfortable" around me, and warned that in the event her and I were to be together for a long time - her idea of "comfort" was being able to just be wearing PJs or whatever with her hair up and no makeup on. She was concerned that I would not approve of that and it bothered her. I tried to comfort her about it but it never seemed to work.
There was some truth to that because I was focused on keeping her on the hook to impress me - I didn't want her to think she could slack off. That said, I never told her "well I expect you to always look nice when you are with me" though I was sparing with my compliments of her looks because I didn't want to get her head big and act like I was super impressed.
On point #2: She would cook often and I would always be appreciative. I made a point to show my gratitude because I like a girl that cooks and it's rare these days so I wanted to positively reinforce this habit. There came a time where she warned that she likes cooking for me, but if we were to see eachother more often or even live together then cooking good meals would not be an all-the-time occurrence. I didn't want to tell her that this threat of "slacking off" of was a deal breaker because I was worried that would scare her off. At the same time I didn't want to say "oh thats totally cool" show that I was totally willing to cave and compromise what I really want just so she can be lazier with what she does for me/us.
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A lot of girls will go above and beyond to impress early on in the dating phase. It gets tricking making sure they keep that up while keeping their bitching and testing away. Training a girl and maintaining frame is not as easy of a task in practice.
There's not much to manage here. She's doing what she needs to be doing in order to secure a man.
The player question is,
I'm getting GF treatment from this woman, do I want to be her boyfriend and all that entails?
What's your price?
She's really asking you to give up your freedom. You might not be banging other chicks - but she's going to take more time out of YOUR LIFE to deal with her.
There's opportunity cost.
Blue pill guys often lose lots of money and career options because of how much time they spend "enjoying" their relationships.
None of this is malicious, but the cost is HIGH.
I'm not even going to touch
- living together
- getting married
- having kids
Just plain ol having a GF.
What guys all seem to want is both a whore in the sheets, and a lady to wash and fold them up, and the freedom to fuck other chicks. Some guys go so far as to forbid a chick from seeing other guys.
I've yet to have that. There are players better than me that can make a girl okay with sexing and cooking and never moving forward.
That's not in my skill set, though I imagine it's tying her happiness to your happiness, replacing what she wants with what you want.
This post is not about that per se. This post is about the limited thinking that guys have when it comes to the chicks their smanging. It's all stupid shallow shit. Someone is probably paying that chick 800-1,000 a week doing something - you've got access to all her abilities and energy for free. And she wants to do shit for the man she's fucking. As opposed to having to do shit at work.
WIA