[Anonybrit]

Ok so the last time I posted about a girl here I was talking about someone I knew online, you guys said it wouldn't work out and yeah, it hasn't yet, but it may in the future. But I agree that there's no substitute for getting shit done irl.

I'm not one to club or to have one night stands really, but I really like the idea of friends with benefits. Some emotion there, a friendship but with great, regular sex. My ideal right now would be to have 3 or 4 girls who might come over every week or so to just hang out, watch TV and eat with and then sleep with.

^ Do any of you guys have this kind of situation successful established? Is it an unachievable holy grail or perfectly possible?

Anyway I have a few candidates in mind but I am completely new to this and not sure how to go about it without causing drama or making an ass of myself.

Also, side question: girls that say they are not down for anything casual, should I just move on or is there usually some room to change their minds? I don't want to play anyone though, honesty is a must, can't be ruining friendships and getting a bad rep.

[ezio]

It's 100% possible to find what you described, but it's much more difficult to convert current friends into FWBs. It's easier to find a cool girl who's into hanging out and banging, but not really looking for a relationship - then start the friends and benefits thing at the same time. Plus - maybe it's just me - but I generally view my female friends as asexual friends and nothing more (perhaps friends who could help you get laid with other girls in fact).

That being said, it is possible to convert current friends into an FWB. The key is plenty of alcohol to provide adequate social lubrication, and plausible deniability. Certainly don't bring it up in casual discussion or anything beforehand. Just go for adequate alcohol and the makeout - then go from there.

[Anonybrit]

Well I have a couple in mind at the moment when I say friends I mean I know them already but I am not close to them, they are more acquaintances if I am honest.

One of them has a boyfriend but just gives me this vibe of being DTF. She is very smart, quite shy but pretty and knows it. Her current by is a dweeb but rich but I get the impression she's after some fire on the side and I can definitely provide. You know when you just feel like you have chemistry with someone, even if you don't know them very well? I get that. Anyway she is apparently going to be spending some time round our place next year and I'm gonna pepper her with facebook comments during the summer break in the meantime.

Second one is a girl who has not had a boyfriend in a long ass time and has never been one for casual sex. The kind of girl that would normally take a few months and commitment to sleep with a guy. Not sure if this one is a go-er, I am wondering if any of you guys have managed to change someone's mind like that.

The third is a friend of mine who I am not hugely attracted to and who doesn't share a lot of the same interests but we are similar personalities and I know she finds me attractive. I think she would probably be up for something casual because I know she is open minded and currently single, perennially looking for love.


All of them are nice, smart, laid back girls that I enjoy spending time with and I really want to find girls like that who I could also have sex with on a semi-regular basis basically.



But yeah, is there any "prep work" I can do online via. facebook whilst we are all on vacation for the summer? I want to get cracking.

[Kickb]

idk perhaps turn the talks slightly more sexual just to help turn their minds towards seeing you as a sexual being instead of a friend

[iknowexactly]

(07-12-2011 01:42 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

idk perhaps turn the talks slightly more sexual just to help turn their minds towards seeing you as a sexual being instead of a friend

This answer is with the proviso that I consider this harem game, and I speculate the foundation of harem game is first getting one girl who is not hugely in demand who is ALWAYS
DTF who you like; that way you have the appropriate arrogance towards new recruits.

That one sort of homely sex freak is the foundation of your happiness and must be taken care of.

I had some limited success with this, I 'll tell you how I got it going and how I screwed it up. the basic process was:

1) I got one slutty girl who wasn't that pretty but had a beautiful figure, she was down for ANYTHING, so it was great to have sexual frustration out of the way. The fact she wasn't beautiful made that a lot easier as tons of guys weren't validating her daily. It's important she be a submissive, not a party girl, because with a party girl she keeps looking too much and can't be depended on.
I could just be sitting there in her apartment, order her to get her clothes off and get into bed and she would do it immediately without any resistance or smart-ass comment.

2) I went after a super-hot waitress who was a lot harder to get. I actually stole her from an evil but wealthier stock scammer guy who had SENT HER TO SCHOOL IN SWITZERLAND.

3) I was naive at the time, they knew about each other but the hot one ditched me as soon as I got one-itis.

An aside about this-- the super-hot chick was almost asexual!! She only wanted sex about once a week.

4) As an AFC I was so broken up about not having the hot one anymore I let the slutty one ( who I now realize was really the hot one!) slip through the cracks through inattention.

Back in the 90's if you lost someone's phone number and couldn't remember where they lived, you could totally lose track of someone by accident. Now people lose each other on purpose.

[Anonybrit]

Well in my situation these girls are almost certainly going to know there are other girls (IF I manage to get this going) because they'll all be on the same course in the same uni in a small town. I wouldn't consider dating any of them so I am hoping one-itis is out of the equation on my part, but my hook with girls is my romanticism; I have never failed to make a girl feel like I understand her like nobody else does and make her feel loved even if only as a friend, so I am guessing that the risk of them getting serious and having to drop out for that reason is high.

I can't quite think of anyone to be my "homely sex freak" but it sounds spot on to me that that is the basis for this. How do you identify them? Most girls like that are quite shy and reserved on first impression am I right?

[Qtip]

(07-12-2011 11:06 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

Ok so the last time I posted about a girl here I was talking about someone I knew online, you guys said it wouldn't work out and yeah, it hasn't yet, but it may in the future. But I agree that there's no substitute for getting shit done irl.

I'm not one to club or to have one night stands really, but I really like the idea of friends with benefits. Some emotion there, a friendship but with great, regular sex. My ideal right now would be to have 3 or 4 girls who might come over every week or so to just hang out, watch TV and eat with and then sleep with.

^ Do any of you guys have this kind of situation successful established? Is it an unachievable holy grail or perfectly possible?

Anyway I have a few candidates in mind but I am completely new to this and not sure how to go about it without causing drama or making an ass of myself.

Also, side question: girls that say they are not down for anything casual, should I just move on or is there usually some room to change their minds? I don't want to play anyone though, honesty is a must, can't be ruining friendships and getting a bad rep.

It's a pretty far fetched goal. I suppose it's possible if you are really good with women but even then it would be almost a full time job managing that many girls. Drama will develop rather quickly with at least 3 out of the 4 if not all 4. Feelings always end up developing on one side or the other especially if you hang out as often as once a week.

But if you don't mind leading them on and the drama that will ensue, sure it's possible in short stints.

Realistically if you have 2 girls on FWB list that you bang once a month, I think that about as good as it could get without too many problems. If you would like more than that, it should be strictly sex don't fool around trying to do the "friend" thing with them cause thats when they will get the wrong idea. 4 sluts that you treat like sluts is much more plausible, I'm still thinking to keep it to every other week at most though.

[Anonybrit]

(07-12-2011 05:06 PM)Qtip Wrote:  

It's a pretty far fetched goal. I suppose it's possible if you are really good with women but even then it would be almost a full time job managing that many girls. Drama will develop rather quickly with at least 3 out of the 4 if not all 4. Feelings always end up developing on one side or the other especially if you hang out as often as once a week.

But if you don't mind leading them on and the drama that will ensue, sure it's possible in short stints.

Realistically if you have 2 girls on FWB list that you bang once a month, I think that about as good as it could get without too many problems. If you would like more than that, it should be strictly sex don't fool around trying to do the "friend" thing with them cause thats when they will get the wrong idea. 4 sluts that you treat like sluts is much more plausible, I'm still thinking to keep it to every other week at most though.

Ouch haha, well I can't doubt you considering I have no experience with this. Hmm!

I'd be happy with 2 or 3, but my hook really is the whole romantic/sensitive thang; without that I'd not currently be able to keep any number of girls interested, but with it I have a seemingly endlessly supply of girls obsessed with me but I have failed to make anything of these opportunities as of yet.

The girl with a bf may possibly be up for your standard affair type scenario, the others would probably last a short while then burn out the way you say.

Still at this point I couldn't really care less, I'm probably gonna give it a shot. life is too short and I have wasted the last few years with a bitch ex that's not off turning her pussy into a wizard's sleeve. Tired of sitting on my ass, need to live a little.

[Qtip]

[/quote]
but with it I have a seemingly endlessly supply of girls obsessed with me but I have failed to make anything of these opportunities as of yet.

[/quote]

Yep, that's how it is. The idea of just having a good looking semi-moral girl that only wants to hang out once a week and have some sex is pretty much a myth. There is some nymphos out there though, but personally I don't enjoy being the 5th guy that week or the 2nd guy that day. I'm kind of a germaphobe.

The driving force for sex in males is mainly physical.
The driving force for sex in women is mainly emotional.

[iknowexactly]

Quote:

I can't quite think of anyone to be my "homely sex freak" but it sounds spot on to me that that is the basis for this. How do you identify them? Most girls like that are quite shy and reserved on first impression am I right?

There is a minority of women, who knows how many, perhaps 3 to 8 percent who are markedly submissive sexually and personally.
The ideal version of this type of woman for emotional and sexual security had a hot body but a somewhat homely face, or is simply older but NOT bitter.

Their submissiveness is a double edged sword, what is good is they attach to you easily and enjoy feeling "owned" or controlled sexually by one man, and don't really actively seek more. Much different than a party girl. As you say they are shy. They can be a bit boring.

Although they are not exciting, having one of these as a lover is hugely important so you don't get tooled by hotter chicks who are always looking for someone better than you. ( I say "lover" because I find "FWB" an annoying term, it illustrates the bizarre idealization of being detached while I am looking to be ATTACHED. Yes, ATTACHMENT is HEALTHY and prevents the dreaded LONELINESS; but only if it's to a woman who values you as you do her.)

I unfortunately do NOT have recognizing them down to a science.

They are ideal for preventing sexual frustration.

One characteristic I noticed in the two women like this i've had in my life is they had soft, breathy voices- A little hard to describe but soft and subservient sounding as well as sensual. Melodious.

They both enjoyed being crudely ordered what to do sexually and either explicitly or implicitly OK'd me having other girls.

I believe I was stupid as a younger romantic-- I went after hotter chicks who weren't reliable at all and lost track of these extremely valuable girls.

I think for me the ideal situation would be to have one of these submissive chicks as a mainstay to help keep me emotionally stable and sexually content
then I can game one or two other hotter chicks with the inevitable rotation as they keep seeking super-alphas.

I don't really want to be chasing women all the time, two at a time is fine

[Anonybrit]

Good post and sounds like a plan to me, I'll aim for two. I would say that the one I mentioned above is the closest fit to the homely sex freak type with the exception of the fact that she tends to pick up a new bf every year or two. I would not attempt to be her boyfriend, obviously, so the only way I could nail this would be to get an on going affair with her that survived her various boyfriend rotations. Probably difficult, she may just have to be a temporary. She does have the breathy voice though haha.

How about converting girls who have never had a FWB/lover and who say they would never, to one that'd try it?

Also, what can I do in the meantime (during summer vacation when they are all miles away) to prep them? They are mostly acquaintances and not close friends you see.

[ezio]

(07-13-2011 06:04 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

Good post and sounds like a plan to me, I'll aim for two.

Good plan. As mentioned earlier, managing a harem can be a full time in itself - and I suspect/hope you have other life activities to keep you busy.

Quote:

How about converting girls who have never had a FWB/lover and who say they would never, to one that'd try it?

Ehhh - this is going to be difficult. However, a decent number of women will claim they've never had a FWB, when they really have. It's akin to women underestimating their number of sexual partners. In any event, if it strikes you that a particular girl is entirely all about relationships, I wouldn't bother with her.

Quote:

Also, what can I do in the meantime (during summer vacation when they are all miles away) to prep them? They are mostly acquaintances and not close friends you see.

Nothing really... Don't waste time pursuing girls that you won't see for weeks. If they don't have you in their sexual frame of mind, you texting from afar isn't going to help things along - and will probably hurt. You're much much better off developing your game wherever you are, and worrying about these girls later. Plus, if you get action now, it'll help your confidence. With enhanced confidence and sexuality, you'll have better luck with ALL women down the line.