[jariel]

Yours truly made a mistake in the third edition of The Grown Man Hour, one that no writer should ever make. In my haste to "get to the game", I did not think about the fact that the audience for this is growing, and they don't know what Real Talk Sessions is all about.

It is my job to assume that the reader is completely ignorant to the point of this series and the messages of the individual sessions, and I'll make sure that doesn't happen again. These special editions usually come about because I don't have one particular topic in mind, and I just want to talk about a variety of subjects.

I think now we can get to the proceedings.

Youth
I feel qualified now to talk about my younger years as the clock continues to tick on my twenties. One thing I've learned about my teenage and early adult years is that a lot happened in a very short amount of time, and I didn't really process any of it. My belief is that I wasn't mentally or emotionally developed enough to process any of it. I no longer feel that way, so it's much easier for me to now look back and understand what was really going on.

When I was younger, I was girl-crazy. I loved women. To this day, I still love women. I was curious about conquering their minds and experiencing their bodies. I loved the interaction with them because it felt natural to interact with women in the way that we interact with women. I've always enjoyed talking to them, listening to what they have to say because they talk too much and inevitably give up the game, and if you pay enough attention, then you realize what their weaknesses are, and you can conquer them.

When you connect with them mentally, they become emotionally invested, and that's when they surrender their bodies. What you do once you get their bodies will dictate how the interaction goes forward.

I started having sex at a very young age with mostly older latin women. I was more physically and mentally developed than the average male teenager, so it was easy to not be viewed as a kid. Even with that being said, some 30 year-old, 40 year-old woman knows that she's fucking the shit out of a child, that's why she's getting off from it so much, and she literally can't stop.

My earliest memories were that, getting the shit fucked out of me. At first it was weird, perhaps even painful, until I got used to it, and then turned the tables by fucking the shit out of them.

The first time an older man called my parents' house and asked them to ask me to stop fucking his wife, I probably should have realized what was going on, but I just laughed. She was buying me shit, and I was learning how to please a woman's body, and he wasn't going to do anything to me physically, so it kept going until it stopped.

In my college years, the sexual perversions went up another notch. One day, I was at a grocery store when two older women approached me, "You look like a football player." Being an athlete had always made the game easier, but this was different. I was invited to a party at a mansion, where there were a bunch of young men, who had similar physiques and similar skin tones, along with a lot of older white women who you could tell in their public lives were "classy socialites".

On that night, they were anything but.

Many of them had tattoos of a black spade somewhere on their bodies, usually in a place where it would be hidden by clothing.

It was the first night that I had anal sex with a woman, and found out that there's an art to hitting that right. By the end of the night, this place that could be the setting for a presidential announcement, reeked of all kinds of smells that one could only tolerate at their horniest and most primal of states.

On my way out this lady stopped me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and thanked me for being so gentle and affectionate, and let me know she had fallen in love with me. She handed me an envelope. Inside was a card with her name and number on it, along with one stack.

The next day, a couple homies hit me up, they were going to earthquake the mall. I chose to stay in the dorms and open a Fidelity account.

I saw that lady again, a few other ladies, and went to a few parties here and there, I always saved the money.

Then, one day I was introduced to someone who society would deem "important". At first, the conversation was about my background and how I was doing in school, and how proud I should be of my accomplishments.

It ended with him asking me to have a 3-way with him and his wife, and of course, I'd be financially rewarded, more money was on the table if I allowed him to record it.

So this was who I'd become?

Value
One of the recurring themes of Real Talk Sessions is "value". Most women out here today have values that are lower than Circuit City stock.

Most men have no idea what their values are.

Men have to have value because they're dependent on it. Women's values are derived from whatever men see them as. Low-value women will struggle, while those deemed to be of higher-value will drive a Porsche Panamera to a 10:00 spin class while hubby is at work making sure he can pay that car note.

Surely my parents didn't send me off to college to become somebody's fuck toy. That wasn't my value. I was a three-sport athlete and an honors student. I had to see myself as such. But when you're young, things are happening, but you don't process any of it, especially when money is being put into your pocket.

The moment of clarity for me was real. Some guy wanted me on video smashing his wife while he massaged my balls or some shit. It was no longer about women, sex, whatever, it was about my manhood. It was about how I saw myself.

You choose your own value.

Your value isn't based off what someone else thinks of it.

Remember that the next time some chick blows you off because she has ten other guys who are ready to take her out at a moment's notice.

Remember that the next time some chick is blatantly disrespectful towards you because her opinion of you is so low that she thinks you'll just deal with, all because at the end of the day, you still want to get her pussy.

Confidence Killers Part III
Men who choose to deal with fucked up women get no sympathy from me. You know the saying, "Misery loves company"? Have you ever heard the saying, "Your life improves when you deal with someone who's miserable"?

Yeah, neither have I, because it doesn't exist.

Fucked up women get off on bringing other people down to where they are. I guess men think it's in their nature to save women, and it really shouldn't be. A lot of these women who you're dealing from bars, clubs, social media sites, are completely fucked up. You may not experience the totality of it, but that's dependent upon how quickly you eject from the interaction.

A lot of men are in too deep.

There's a lot going on, and you're not really processing it.

If you allow them to, a woman will mentally abuse you like never have before.

The thing is their mental abuse is subtle.

I don't have a problem telling a woman she isn't shit to her face.

There are some women out there who will tell you you aren't shit to your face.

Most won't.

They'll quietly despise you. Even though they may still be in your presence, they'll hate you for every moment of it, for a variety of reasons, who cares what they are.

When they're miserable, they'll make sure that you end up at best just as miserable as they are, and at worst, even more fucked up than them.

Those of us who have boxed know that the #1 rule is to protect yourself.

Just like inside the ring, in life, you want to win, but even in the course of winning, you always have to protect yourself.

Don't let your value, feelings, view of yourself, be dictated by a woman who wants to destroy you.

Most men leave their relationships with women in shambles.

Now maybe you understand why, don't be one of them. If you have been one of them, don't let it happen again.

Confidence Killers Part I
Confidence Killers Part II

See The World Through Your Own Lens
Another one of the recurring themes of this series is the idea of thinking for yourself.

My opinions are often on the side of the minority, and I say what I feel because that's what you'd want a real friend to do. It's easy to be fake. It's easy to tell people the shit they want to hear, but that doesn't help them at all.

I rather be helpful.

I notice PUA/game guys constantly talking about "fighting the system", "taking the red pill", "fuck marriage", blah blah, but when these guys reach a certain age, they all seem to wife someone up.

It makes sense to me that we have experiences when we're younger, and then when we get older, the game changes, our mind changes, we're clearer and honest with ourselves about what we want, and we make decisions to meet those ends.

I'm just not a fan of mixed messages.

Maybe the marriage argument is against American women, but you still have to provide for the Asian woman, the Russian woman, the Colombian woman, and if she comes from an impoverished background then she will be totally dependent on you for money until the day you die.

I mean, we have guys who don't want to get a chick the chicken fingers at Happy Hour, so it's hard for me to understand how the dynamic fits.

I see a lot of men talking about how they don't want "careerists".

I feel you, I wouldn't want a woman who is more dedicated to her career ambitions than she is to her man ad her family, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be with a woman who doesn't work nor have any resources to be able to make money.

That shit just doesn't make sense to me.

Women "burned their bras" so they could get theirs, if they're doing so and contributing to our collective efforts, then that's what's up.

I've always had women buy me shit, I'm glad they can do so.

Minority men should have the same mindset. Most of us come from humble beginnings. Our parents did the best they could, even got some of us to college, but we're building everything we really have from scratch. That is very difficult to do. If you're going to build something with someone, it only makes sense to do so with someone who can contribute to the building, not someone who just comes along and enjoys it after all the work has been done.

We can't all possibly see the world through the same lens because we're not all playing the game under the same circumstances.

This isn't a right or wrong issue, it's simply what thought process makes sense to me given the life I'm leading? Given my circumstances?

I implore you to look at the world with your own perspective, it will help you make an honest assessment about what you want in your life, and you'll make the best decisions that you can so that you can get there.

[Kamikaze]

Great write-up. You're the rare kinda guy who had a lot of pussy thrown at him early on, but later were able to make sense of it and convert it into better, more meaningful pussy. I know tons of guys who banged like crazy early on in their teens, starting at 13 and shit, but later on were just regular-ass dudes. Because they couldn't break down what they did. Most of the time they had trouble finding actual good women, which is what it seems you're looking for now.

But really I just wanted to say I approve of your new profile pic.

[TooFineAPoint]

High, high, HIGH quality as always, Jariel. Please do keep it up.

[Fortis]

I like these new posts. More "deep" game material.

[Comte De St. Germain]

In all honesty stuff like this is doing wonders for my mentality. Especially given how my own mentality is changing. I'm starting to appreciate the world more as it is, and I'm starting to care less for the opinions of those whom fake a smile towards me.

Glad to see genuine posts out there mate. Cheers.

[spygoat]

Really appreciate these talks. It's a forum for discussion - not some place for someone to tell people whats right or whats wrong. Very important that you addressed that. Its what makes this place so good.

It's growing up as you say. I know lots of us have been there - with that hating ass girlfriend or whatever life problem you got. The thing is - as you alluded to in your twitter pic - most of us know instinctively when things are going to shit. It's just a matter of realizing it and righting the ship back on course. Easier said than done, I know from my own experience it takes some balls. In time, and with some inner self reflection its easy to see how much better those hard decisions and experiences make you in life.

I pity the guy who has had everything easy, or the guy who never had the balls to make changes on his own. I don't pity myself for the bullshit I been through (however minor/major) because in the end it will help mold me into the type of man I want to be.

Keep this stuff coming man. Love reading it.

[Fortis]

(03-01-2016 01:57 AM)spygoat Wrote:  

Really appreciate these talks. It's a forum for discussion - not some place for someone to tell people whats right or whats wrong. Very important that you addressed that. Its what makes this place so good.

It's growing up as you say. I know lots of us have been there - with that hating ass girlfriend or whatever life problem you got. The thing is - as you alluded to in your twitter pic - most of us know instinctively when things are going to shit. It's just a matter of realizing it and righting the ship back on course. Easier said than done, I know from my own experience it takes some balls. In time, and with some inner self reflection its easy to see how much better those hard decisions and experiences make you in life.

I pity the guy who has had everything easy, or the guy who never had the balls to make changes on his own. I don't pity myself for the bullshit I been through (however minor/major) because in the end it will help mold me into the type of man I want to be.

Keep this stuff coming man. Love reading it.

Probably one of the best lessons I've learned from this forum.

[lex the impaler]

So that's what the spade tattoo means.... Funny thing you mention the ladies who approached you. Just the other day me and one of my homies were "approached" by three lizards just like you described. He immediately knew what was up though, and shut them down. Excellent post though.

[TrifeLife]

^^^^
What's the deal with this black spade secret society of rich white women that turn out young strapping black guys???

Good post Jariel I always look forward to reading these.

[Vienna]

Another homerun. I'm putting these sessions away to re-read at a later date or in case of apocalypse.

(02-29-2016 02:48 PM)jariel Wrote:  

In my college years, the sexual perversions went up another notch. One day, I was at a grocery store when two older women approached me, "You look like a football player." Being an athlete had always made the game easier, but this was different. I was invited to a party at a mansion, where there were a bunch of young men, who had similar physiques and similar skin tones, along with a lot of older white women who you could tell in their public lives were "classy socialites".

On that night, they were anything but.

Magic Mike level stuff. With experiences like that you must be giving off Secret Society vibes to women. Crazy that you ain't even 30 yet.

[Anabasis to Desta]

Awe inspiring post Jariel.

The biggest players i know all started having sex in their early teens (some as early as 11) mostly with older women.

Do you think it's those early encounters which gave you a 4-7 year head-start advantage in experience that turned you into a prolific player? Or is there something about the way you were raised in your formative years that led those older girls to be attracted to you at such a young age in the first place?

Please elaborate if you know what i mean.

I'm 26 and it might be too late for me to get my game to a level where i get randomly invited to Queen of Spades orgies while getting paid for it. But I'd love to raise my future sons in a way in which they'd be able to experience shit like that.

[jariel]

Due to the fact that a number of guys had questions about this fourth edition of The Grown Man Hour and there were some issues that I wanted to address but didn't get around to them in the OG post, here's an addendum to the edition that will serve as overtime, which will be used whenever I want to add thoughts or answer questions that are posed after the release of a series post.

Another Half Hour
I am unable to speak on other people's experiences as to why they were able to have sexual experiences at a time when most of their peers are not having any sexual interaction with women.

For me, I was physically a man. I played sports my whole life, I started developing my body in the gym, and I happened to be unusually tall. Furthermore, I was very comfortable around woman due to how I grew up.

In Latin American culture, there is no such thing as "cooties", to the best of my knowledge. I always liked girls, as I said before, I was girl-crazy, so it made sense to me to hit on them.

I think most young boys are just shy. They know a girl is cute to them, but there's a shyness simply because "picking up" a girl is not something they've ever done before.

When you're in your teen years, you can get away with being "cheezy". You can write love letters, you can tell girls how fine you think they are, etc. The main reason you can get away with it is simply because, how many of your male classmates are doing the same thing?

Most of them are not. We've all been to a school dance where the boys stand on one side and the girls stand on the other.

I had no problem being that guy who walked into the room with a girl on his arm.

When it came to the older women, I initiated it. When you're really young, teenage-young adult years, and you're stepping to women 10-15 years older than you, at first you're just looked at as being playful and cute.

"Oh you're so cute, you have a crush on me? (giggles)"

But when you tell a woman enough times that you think she's fine and you two need to spend some private time together, after a while, she starts looking at you and thinking, "Damn, he's serious".

You can be a young man, but if you're stepping to women and treating them as women, the objects of your sexual desires, the narrative changes real quick.

The women who are out here fucking teenagers are living out a sexual fantasy. One thing I've learned about women is that the more taboo the sex is, the more they're down, if the woman is a freak. Your conservative, church-going girls -- not to be confused with the church-going freaks -- have the potential to be freaks if it's under the umbrella of a serious, monogamous relationship, but the real freaks have to be stepped to in a different manner.

A woman isn't fucking you when you're 15 because she thinks you're going to put it down good on her. That is more the thought process of the 40 year-old who fucks the 25 year-old.

The older women who reject younger men's advances do so because they want older men who won't be as sexually demanding and may be willing to provide them with the security in life that they failed to establish on their own.

That's another conversation, but let me keep this on topic.

At every level of the game, "balls" is a huge component. Having "balls" doesn't guarantee success all of the time, but it does guarantee that you'll probably have more experiences than the next guy. Most men, due to their college years, only have "balls" after a few drinks. It's better to establish your courage early on in your adult years and without the assistance of alcohol. The fact remains that most of your encounters with women will take place without alcohol being in the equation.

Another huge component of the game is establishing with a woman that you are serious. A lot of guys be bullshittin'. You know how many times guys get girls' phone numbers and don't call? I'm also not a big fan of "text game". A woman can text all day about bullshit with her girlfriends, but with me, she needs to pick up the phone and hear my voice. I use texting solely for making quick arrangements, not to have discussions about bullshit.

Doing things in a manner that is different from the next guy, will allow a girl to arrive at the conclusion that you're serious.

A lot of guys get flaked on and what not because their interaction with a woman is fleeting. You run into someone, have a five minute conversation, get her phone number, then a couple days later, try to get her to come out to Happy Hour. Not saying that they never show up, but it's hard to make a connection under those circumstances, and look, you might be a good-looking guy, but just like we find a lot of women attractive, women find a lot of men attractive, so that in and of itself, isn't always enough -- unless you're way more attractive than she is.

I've always made a concerted effort to make some level of a connection with women. It's one thing to be passive, it's another to take your time and think the game. When you have options, and what some people call an "abundance mentality", you'll never be thirsty. When girls are down, they are down, when they're not, they're not.

Most of us who maybe started earlier don't really have an advantage over other guys later in life because the game changes. There's a lot of shit one can get away with when they are 16, but not when they are 25.

Women have different expectations and different standards. If you don't adapt, it doesn't matter that you were getting pussy left and right when you were in high school.

That leads me to my final thought, which is graduation.

Graduation isn't something that takes place when you finish a set course of study in school. Graduation is something that takes place at different levels in life.

I read a lot more stories here than I actually comment on, and one of the common failings I see is that some of the guys are failing at graduating in life.

They run in the same circles, meet the same type of woman, find themselves in the same fucked up situations, and here they are asking the same questions that they or someone else has already asked.

This whole chasing pussy thing, at the end of the day, based off my experiences, I'm over it. Some people will say,"Well that's easy for you to say", and perhaps it is, everybody's not smashing in their teens and going to sex parties in their 20s, but this goes back to value.

What is your value?

If your value is high, then you should work to be more than just another dick chasing a hole. We have guys getting passports so they can go chase foreign holes. I'm not criticizing that, I'm just saying, once you've reached a certain place, and you see yourself a certain way, then it doesn't really make sense to do what everyone else is doing in the manner that they are doing it.

If you actually are trying to take your game another level, then you have to get radical with this shit. You have to go to places you don't normally go. You have to run your game in a different manner than you have.

You have adapt to your circumstances, and make people adapt to you.

You have to meet like-minded people who think in the manner that you do, and see the world and themselves the way that you do -- that's what I'm talking about with congruity.

That's what graduating in life is about. Seeing the lay of the land, and then figuring out what's the best strategy for you going forward so that you can be successful.

As I've stated previously, I'm not a fan of mixed messages. It's hard for me to listen to "don't pedestalize the pussy" from guys who obviously spend a lot of their time chasing pussy.

The next edition of RTS is about "Nothin' To Lose", hopefully that will help some guys get their minds right about all this bullshit, real quick.

[robreke]

(03-01-2016 11:09 PM)jariel Wrote:  

You run into someone, have a five minute conversation, get her phone number, then a couple days later, try to get her to come out to Happy Hour. Not saying that they never show up, but it's hard to make a connection under those circumstances, and look, you might be a good-looking guy, but just like we find a lot of women attractive, women find a lot of men attractive, so that in and of itself, isn't always enough -- unless you're way more attractive than she is.

I've always made a concerted effort to make some level of a connection with women.

^ Could you elaborate on this?

Especially the part of how you make a "concerted effort to make some level of connection" with a woman you're interested in?

This sounds crucial to me.

[Anabasis to Desta]

^Seconded.

[jariel]

(03-01-2016 11:24 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(03-01-2016 11:09 PM)jariel Wrote:  

You run into someone, have a five minute conversation, get her phone number, then a couple days later, try to get her to come out to Happy Hour. Not saying that they never show up, but it's hard to make a connection under those circumstances, and look, you might be a good-looking guy, but just like we find a lot of women attractive, women find a lot of men attractive, so that in and of itself, isn't always enough -- unless you're way more attractive than she is.

I've always made a concerted effort to make some level of a connection with women.

^ Could you elaborate on this?

Especially the part of how you make a "concerted effort to make some level of connection" with a woman you're interested in?

This sounds crucial to me.

Definitely.

I'm a big fan of having a conversation(s) prior to linking up. In a conversation, you can find out a lot of shit about a girl that you don't have to worry about finding out after you link up.

All that small talk shit, like where you went to school and all that, I mean when you get together with someone, the idea is to have fun. We can't have fun if we're going to spend the time trying to get each other's life story.

By the time you meet up with a chick, she shouldn't be a stranger to you. You should know enough about her so that you can treat her like someone "you know". Girls love to talk. They're literally on their phones ALL the time. I see women texting in their cars at 7:00 A.M. Women can feign being busy, but when they're really into a guy, they're never too busy.

Shit, a girl will take my call while she's at work, meanwhile dudes are hitting up the same chick at 8:00 at night on a Tuesday, getting voicemail, like "Damn, she must be busy."

I always tell women "I'll call you", not "I'll text you".

Women meet a lot of men "in passing". If a girl is available, and she has a social life, she's exchanging personal information with people all of the time. Every dude who spits isn't serious. Every chick doesn't have someone spitting. So I never even look at it from the competition angle, I think you can only look at what you're doing.

I take my time with the shit because I'm not starving for this shit. Sometimes you have to take advantage of a moment. I had a moment while I was out recently, and I had to take advantage of it. However, running into a chick at Starbucks isn't a moment. It's a chance encounter that requires more digging. As you dig, you find out more, and then when the real moment presents itself, all of your pre-game work will pay off because you'll know exactly what to do.

I try to find out things about a girl's family, educational background, work situation, living situation, etc. because it helps me get an idea of who the hell I'm dealing with.

To find out infomation, you usually have to give some information, just make sure you get more relative to what you give.

"Damn, I missed my dad's call earlier, probably something going on at the house again."

"Oh wow, your dad calls you for stuff like that? I haven't spoken to my parents in a while."

Ok she's not close with her parents, there's a reason for that. There is a whole conversation ready to take place just about that, and chances are she probably wants to talk about that, and if she feels comfortable she will, but again, you're not going there because you really care about the relationship with her parents, but you're trying to get a profile on who this person is and where they're at in life.

Doesn't matter if you're looking for a real relationship or casual sex, it's a subtle way of screening.

Just make sure to keep your conversations short. I used to do the hours on the phone with chicks shit when I was a kid, but now I'm a grown man out here, and I'm trying to get this paper, so I don't have two hours to sit on a phone with a chick.

Most dudes have tunnel vision when it comes to "getting to the pussy", the pussy no matter what it is, is still a person, if you can even feign giving a fuck about the person, it's a lot easier to ultimately get what you want.

I operate from the premise that our biggest hurdle is being a stranger, so I try to change that narrative as quickly as possible.

At the end of the day, there's always more than one way, I just know what works for me, so that's what I advocate because that's what I can give my brand of advice on.