How and why?
Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
How do you let down good women who aren't good enough for you?
I would really appreciate an answer to this as well.
It's not you, it's me.
I did this exact thing about 8 months ago.
I told her I didn't think we had enough in common and we are just too different and want different things. She cried and wanted to talk about it. Told me she felt like a whore because she slept with me thinking I was going to be a long term partner. That hurt.
All you can really do is be honest like I was. Don't be an asshole or say things that don't need to be said. Just say you want different things. You aren't ready to settle down. Whatever. Simple as that.
I told her I didn't think we had enough in common and we are just too different and want different things. She cried and wanted to talk about it. Told me she felt like a whore because she slept with me thinking I was going to be a long term partner. That hurt.
All you can really do is be honest like I was. Don't be an asshole or say things that don't need to be said. Just say you want different things. You aren't ready to settle down. Whatever. Simple as that.
Quote: (01-13-2016 10:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
I did this exact thing about 8 months ago.
I told her I didn't think we had enough in common and we are just too different and want different things. She cried and wanted to talk about it. Told me she felt like a whore because she slept with me thinking I was going to be a long term partner. That hurt.
All you can really do is be honest like I was. Don't be an asshole or say things that don't need to be said. Just say you want different things. You aren't ready to settle down. Whatever. Simple as that.
Yeah same thing happened to me a week ago. I'll add that its better you break it off now, earlier the better. If she's a good girl she will make some guy happy and the more time you wait the more you waste her fertile years and your own time.
You feel a lot better after its done but its not easy.
Quote: (01-13-2016 10:49 PM)BillyTalented Wrote:
Quote: (01-13-2016 10:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
I did this exact thing about 8 months ago.
I told her I didn't think we had enough in common and we are just too different and want different things. She cried and wanted to talk about it. Told me she felt like a whore because she slept with me thinking I was going to be a long term partner. That hurt.
All you can really do is be honest like I was. Don't be an asshole or say things that don't need to be said. Just say you want different things. You aren't ready to settle down. Whatever. Simple as that.
Yeah same thing happened to me a week ago. I'll add that its better you break it off now, earlier the better. If she's a good girl she will make some guy happy and the more time you wait the more you waste her fertile years and your own time.
You feel a lot better after its done but its not easy.
Actually one of the things she was most upset about when we "talked" was that I didn't let her go sooner.
If I'm being candid, I actually would like to have her back. I mostly broke up with her because I was at a place where I didn't want a LTR at the time... and she was black and I don't like black girls' hair. Aside from that she was wonderful. I'd call her an 8, very feminine, always cooked for me, doing sweet things without asking, always dressed great, just all around great.
I stop texting and calling them.
I'm the King of Beijing!
LOL Most of my LTRs eventually do the old Cosmo clock - Cosmo mag runs articles every so often telling women that after 18 to 24 months put him on a 90 day clock and cajole him to commit... I just wait for the clock to run out, get in a few more bangs and a break up bang and then the break up is her idea - when you let them dump you it avoids a lot of drama.
Of course during the 90 days ultimatum period be working new rotation for a smooth transition.
Of course during the 90 days ultimatum period be working new rotation for a smooth transition.
Its safe and gentle to slowly fade out, just slowly over time ramp down your interest, contact and meetings.
Its gentle and they have less chance of boiling your bunnies.
Its gentle and they have less chance of boiling your bunnies.
I dumped my LTR of almost 2 YEARS man, you're wasting both your time.
If a chick isn't worth the long term game, drop her at first signs of "what are we", don't keep banging her.
The last thing we need is a good girl being turned into a jaded bitch.
Jariel speaks gospel on not wasting your time on unworthy women.
Even better is to make it known up front about what you are:
-you got your own shit going on
-you're busy
-you only see her once a week or son
-you don't text and talk much
-you aren't looking/ready for a relationship
Just with the above alone a girl will fade out, or she'll call you out on it.
Be honest if you do talk to her about it, end on best terms as possible, and don't talk to her again.
If a chick isn't worth the long term game, drop her at first signs of "what are we", don't keep banging her.
The last thing we need is a good girl being turned into a jaded bitch.
Jariel speaks gospel on not wasting your time on unworthy women.
Even better is to make it known up front about what you are:
-you got your own shit going on
-you're busy
-you only see her once a week or son
-you don't text and talk much
-you aren't looking/ready for a relationship
Just with the above alone a girl will fade out, or she'll call you out on it.
Be honest if you do talk to her about it, end on best terms as possible, and don't talk to her again.
I honestly think it's more moral to bang hookers as opposed to dating women where they inevitably get attached and hurt.
their beauty is very temporary and they all know it on some level. you are taking up their valuable time to find a good provider. Not every girl is a cunt, some really do want to find and marry a good man. To enjoy their sex, impress her, meet her parents then discard her is cruel.
I've done that a couple times and felt bad about it, so I don't do it anymore. IMO it's better to bang drunk club sluts in obvious one night stands instead of being halfway committed to a girl who wants to get serious with you.
their beauty is very temporary and they all know it on some level. you are taking up their valuable time to find a good provider. Not every girl is a cunt, some really do want to find and marry a good man. To enjoy their sex, impress her, meet her parents then discard her is cruel.
I've done that a couple times and felt bad about it, so I don't do it anymore. IMO it's better to bang drunk club sluts in obvious one night stands instead of being halfway committed to a girl who wants to get serious with you.
The timing of this thread is perfect. I'm in a situation right now and this girl looks good and has been as nice as possible to me since the first minute, so I really don't want to mess things up for the next guy.
One thing I've found works, whether you are a billionaire or a credit card warrior is two words, "I'm poor." It gets into their heads and can change things real quickly. Telling her you just got charged with indecent exposure could also work, although I've never tried that one.
As I mentioned in another thread, if you are doing it right, I think more girls are starting to get attached than in the past. I just think women have fewer options than ever before. Guys say "Enjoy the decline," but as far as I can see things couldn't be better if you are a guy who is doing it right.
One thing I've found works, whether you are a billionaire or a credit card warrior is two words, "I'm poor." It gets into their heads and can change things real quickly. Telling her you just got charged with indecent exposure could also work, although I've never tried that one.
As I mentioned in another thread, if you are doing it right, I think more girls are starting to get attached than in the past. I just think women have fewer options than ever before. Guys say "Enjoy the decline," but as far as I can see things couldn't be better if you are a guy who is doing it right.
Quote: (01-13-2016 11:23 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Quote: (01-13-2016 10:49 PM)BillyTalented Wrote:
Quote: (01-13-2016 10:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
I did this exact thing about 8 months ago.
I told her I didn't think we had enough in common and we are just too different and want different things. She cried and wanted to talk about it. Told me she felt like a whore because she slept with me thinking I was going to be a long term partner. That hurt.
All you can really do is be honest like I was. Don't be an asshole or say things that don't need to be said. Just say you want different things. You aren't ready to settle down. Whatever. Simple as that.
Yeah same thing happened to me a week ago. I'll add that its better you break it off now, earlier the better. If she's a good girl she will make some guy happy and the more time you wait the more you waste her fertile years and your own time.
You feel a lot better after its done but its not easy.
Actually one of the things she was most upset about when we "talked" was that I didn't let her go sooner.
If I'm being candid, I actually would like to have her back. I mostly broke up with her because I was at a place where I didn't want a LTR at the time... and she was black and I don't like black girls' hair. Aside from that she was wonderful. I'd call her an 8, very feminine, always cooked for me, doing sweet things without asking, always dressed great, just all around great.
Similar situation: good girl, nice looking, very sweet but not ready to settle down and I still can't get over the hair.
Quote: (01-14-2016 01:00 AM)Merenguero Wrote:
The timing of this thread is perfect. I'm in a situation right now and this girl looks good and has been as nice as possible to me since the first minute, so I really don't want to mess things up for the next guy.
One thing I've found works, whether you are a billionaire or a credit card warrior is two words, "I'm poor." It gets into their heads and can change things real quickly. Telling her you just got charged with indecent exposure could also work, although I've never tried that one.
As I mentioned in another thread, if you are doing it right, I think more girls are starting to get attached than in the past. I just think women have fewer options than ever before. Guys say "Enjoy the decline," but as far as I can see things couldn't be better if you are a guy who is doing it right.
It's possible this has more to do with your own improvement in life and game than the overall landscape. You might have/already be in the top 20% of men getting the majority of pussy whereas before you were on the outside. I couldn't find your post about the subject but I would like to read it/expand on it here/elsewhere if you don't mind sharing.
As my game have improved, I pretty much do all the dumping now. I can get girls VERY attached fairly quickly but the overall quality of most American women is pretty sub-par personality wise if comparing them to the Mother of My Children standard. Some of these women have a lot of good qualities but they still have significant feminist programming that makes any sort of long-term prospect impossible. So, I've dealt with dumping good women (or women with a lot of good qualities) but not good enough for me overall quite a bit.
Today, I like to keep things as cordial as possible; even if it means straight lying or acting beta. Angry women are dangerous with the present legal system. A very attached woman who feels betrayed (justified or not) is liable to go crazy or do something damaging to you out of revenge.
If its a good girl I banged a few times but no relationship, I just let it fade off and that does the trick usually. If they push me, I just say I met someone recently and things are going REALLY well, beyond what I expected, and I want give it a shot. They respect that and go away. Generally, you can go back to banging them down the line since you left on good terms.
With LTRs, what works best is saying some variation of:
"I'm just not getting what I want and need out of our relationship. You're a great woman with amazing qualities and I want you to find someone who appreciates your qualities and where both of you have your mutual needs and wants met. [Insert some non-negative about her dealbreaker - ex: she wants kids, you don't]. You deserve that and I don't want to take away limited time and opportunity for you to find what you want. I wish you the best. Goodbye."
It's honest and does the job.
Quote: (01-13-2016 11:23 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
If I'm being candid, I actually would like to have her back. I mostly broke up with her because I was at a place where I didn't want a LTR at the time... and she was black and I don't like black girls' hair. Aside from that she was wonderful. I'd call her an 8, very feminine, always cooked for me, doing sweet things without asking, always dressed great, just all around great.
Quote: (01-14-2016 02:03 AM)booshala Wrote:
Similar situation: good girl, nice looking, very sweet but not ready to settle down and I still can't get over the hair.
It seems really superficial to toss a girl aside just because of her hair…but my god, it is so true.
I myself have broken off good relationships with nice girls more than a few times, just because her hair just didn’t appeal to me.
Even when almost everything else about her was top notch.
I’ve done it with black girls, girls with hair that was not long enough, girls with a hair that was too thin or oily, or hair that simply just didn’t feel right.
If I didn’t like what I was running my fingers through when I kissed her, or I didn't enjoy what I was looking down at, when she was down on her knees giving me blowjobs, it definitely softened my boner.
These are not impulses we should fight....our bodies are telling us the right messages and we should listen to them.
Hair is not something superficial...it is one of the most important aspects of our attraction to a girl.
In order to break off a relationship, I usually look for one of her deal-breakers.
If, say, she's hellbent on having kids, I'd say I aint having them, and she should find a guy willing to procreate.
One of the asian chicks was adamant not to shave her vag. So it was a deal-breaker for me.
Also, sometimes, I feign insolvency and being nice, which is repulsive for many, and they fade themselves rather quickly.
If, say, she's hellbent on having kids, I'd say I aint having them, and she should find a guy willing to procreate.
One of the asian chicks was adamant not to shave her vag. So it was a deal-breaker for me.
Also, sometimes, I feign insolvency and being nice, which is repulsive for many, and they fade themselves rather quickly.
Being nice is a good idea. Just make the girl think she dumped you. The way to do this is to do the opposite of all the things that attracted her in the first place. So start acting, needy, jealous, nice, overbearing. Text her every ten minutes. Buy flowers, tell her how much you love her. Tell her all your emotional feelings and insecurities. Put her on a pedestal with a severe case of oneitus.
She will soon tire of your beta- ness and press the eject button.
She will soon tire of your beta- ness and press the eject button.
You can also say you are getting into some weird stuff, like swinging with older couples (or some other perversion).
Many younger chicks find it deviant, and will fade away or just ghost on you. ))
Or tell her you live with your mum and she wants you to date only jewish girls.
Many younger chicks find it deviant, and will fade away or just ghost on you. ))
Or tell her you live with your mum and she wants you to date only jewish girls.
I would love to say I orchestrate a clean and civil break.
The truth is I usually let them tag along forever while I go back and forth on it and then deliver a crushing blow over something minor that I frame as their own fault (not intentionally - I often temporarily convince myself that's the real reason too).
I'm not proud of it, but there it is.
On the other hand, I'm generally honest the entire time that I'm not trying to get locked down and that I'm not interested in marrying them. Being women, they say it's okay, convince themselves they can change you, and hold on for dear life until you finally drop the axe.
And then they blame you for leading them on, of course.
Love and war....
The truth is I usually let them tag along forever while I go back and forth on it and then deliver a crushing blow over something minor that I frame as their own fault (not intentionally - I often temporarily convince myself that's the real reason too).
I'm not proud of it, but there it is.
On the other hand, I'm generally honest the entire time that I'm not trying to get locked down and that I'm not interested in marrying them. Being women, they say it's okay, convince themselves they can change you, and hold on for dear life until you finally drop the axe.
And then they blame you for leading them on, of course.
Love and war....
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
In the past I would lead them to still fuck them.
Girl: so what are we, are we going to be in a relationship?
Realologist: I do like you. I just don't want to commit to that yet. I need to really feel we could be something. I just need more time. It may happen, but probably not if it hasn't happened already. So what you do with me is up to you?
My thoughts: Never gonna happen
Girl: I want to keep trying. I really care about you.
Then I would continue to bang them until I get bored.
Now I won't even waste my time. If they add to my life they stay. If they don't there gone. I usually tell them I'm not feeling it and cut contact.
Girl: so what are we, are we going to be in a relationship?
Realologist: I do like you. I just don't want to commit to that yet. I need to really feel we could be something. I just need more time. It may happen, but probably not if it hasn't happened already. So what you do with me is up to you?
My thoughts: Never gonna happen
Girl: I want to keep trying. I really care about you.
Then I would continue to bang them until I get bored.
Now I won't even waste my time. If they add to my life they stay. If they don't there gone. I usually tell them I'm not feeling it and cut contact.
Quote: (01-14-2016 12:45 AM)kaotic Wrote:
Even better is to make it known up front about what you are:
-you got your own shit going on
-you're busy
-you only see her once a week or son
-you don't text and talk much
-you aren't looking/ready for a relationship
Just with the above alone a girl will fade out, or she'll call you out on it.
Be honest if you do talk to her about it, end on best terms as possible, and don't talk to her again.
This is the most crucial thing in getting involved with a girl. You should let her know who you are as soon as things start getting bit more serious. Then you stick to it which is simple as long as you don't lie your ass off. In the meantime you put her in place when she tries to cross your boundaries she know about beforehand. And then when things go downhill because of her you use those things she chose to disrespect to break up. So it's not like you find random reasons out of your ass. If you have legit reasons you should have no problem to break up
Every body does the fade or goes ghost. It saves them grief.
But if you actually care, you have to tell them what is wrong.
It's funny how the 'Sphere is all about honor and being forthright but turn their backs on those principles when it might result in a crying woman.
WIA
But if you actually care, you have to tell them what is wrong.
It's funny how the 'Sphere is all about honor and being forthright but turn their backs on those principles when it might result in a crying woman.
WIA
Once you're done.... just start texting them 4-5 times a day, tell them how much you need them, share feelings, and offer to do shit for them unsolicited.
Watch how quickly they fade out...you wont have to "let them down" at all
Watch how quickly they fade out...you wont have to "let them down" at all
_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example
"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs
"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Go ghost.
I had a similar situation take place almost a month ago. The woman was in her 40's and had a number of "yellow flag" traits about her so she certainly wasn't a special snowflake young thing.
Nonetheless, in the five weeks that we dated she as sweet as can be, the sex was very good and getting better each time, she never shit tested me, she showed up to our dates on time, dressed to the nines, her personality was great and very easy to hang out with, funny as hell. But I knew she wasn't right for me in terms of an LTR. Given the fact that she never gave me any problems, was never difficult I couldn't in good conscience lead her on and so I preemptively told her I wasn't ready for a relationship and I ended things. She was a little surprised to hear it and said she didn't want a relationship either but I could tell by her actions that she was becoming more and more attached.
If by my doing that it makes me beta, then so be it...
Nonetheless, in the five weeks that we dated she as sweet as can be, the sex was very good and getting better each time, she never shit tested me, she showed up to our dates on time, dressed to the nines, her personality was great and very easy to hang out with, funny as hell. But I knew she wasn't right for me in terms of an LTR. Given the fact that she never gave me any problems, was never difficult I couldn't in good conscience lead her on and so I preemptively told her I wasn't ready for a relationship and I ended things. She was a little surprised to hear it and said she didn't want a relationship either but I could tell by her actions that she was becoming more and more attached.
If by my doing that it makes me beta, then so be it...
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