to OP
In my mind - the heart and soul of the beta is to be a people pleaser - to derive your own self worth only from other peoples reactions to you. This is why in our heart of hearts, many players, PUAs and red pill guys are either very much beta or trying to get rid of "beta tendencies". Be honest - how many of us here have had our nights "ruined" because we had no success with women that night? I know I've felt that way. Even though I could get with women and got a lot better over the years - women still dictated my mood - If i fucked a girl I was happy, if I got rejected I was sad.
The only way to get rid of that is to have pride in yourself and your accomplishments, a sort of silent, stoic pride. Like the old tree in the woods.
- If a tree fall in the woods, but no one is around to hear it, does it actually make a sound?
- If a weightlifter benches 405, but no one is around to Instagram it, does the rep actually count?
- If you start your own business, but no one writes about it, does the business make money?
- If you paint a painting, but only keep it for yourself in a private room - does the painting exist?
The answer to all of those questions is
YES.Go out there, do something you want to do, and allow yourself to feel good about it.
Notice the wording. Allow. That was intentional, because too many of us only feel good about ourselves when other people tell us it's ok.
It's not our fault - we were trained this way. Many of us grew up in the "just be good and some day you will have a wife and family" mentality - expecting that reward, but then realizing that we will never get it, but still hoping, because that's how we were raised.
For me, the last of my "beta tendencies" went away as soon as my doctor told me I had cancer. Things just snapped. I knew what I had to do. I knew the journey I was on. I knew the stakes. One persons opinion of me couldn't change a damn thing.
It shifted my entire mindset. It made me realize what's important. It made me love myself more. Long story short - I am not the same guy I was a year ago. Granted, I didn't "accomplish" anything, but I did have a deep personal experience none the less.
My experience was thrust onto me. It doesnt have to be this way. You can go and seek your own experiences, ones that will bring you your own satisfaction, your own inner peace.
And on that day - the beta will die off forever