[F1l1pV]

First off, I want to say sorry if this has been posted before ( which is very likely ). I'm in my sophomore year of high school and I'm 16 years old. I just discovered this forum and one topic that struck me the most was the whole self improvement thing. When I read some of the stuff people said about it I came to the realization that I'm boring as fuck.

Before high school I used to have some problems with bullying and insecurity ( bullying is gone but still have quite a bit of insecurity because of my scoliosis ). All of this and my incredible lack of friends at the time led to me just sitting inside playing video games all the time. It wasn't until recently that I started going out to parties and stuff and I just found that I have nothing to talk about with not just girls but people in general. I also think this is the reason I always have to make an effort to communicate with people but people never make an effort to talk to me.

Now, for someone who's 16 years old, what can I do to just become more interesting? I picked up the guitar a month ago and have been doing slow but steady progress since then. I'm contemplating whether or not I should get a gym membership and start working out ( open for opinions ). Other than that I don't really know what other hobbies and activites I could pick up. I'm wondering what you guys would recommend me to do, I'm open for pretty much anything. I'm also considering to try and get a new friend circle ( quite hard though since my school is fairly small ) since most of my friends view me as a fucking looser.

I'm open to trying pretty much anything that gives me something to talk about and is fairly interesting ( and fun too of course! ). Don't hold back on anything because I might not be interested, I find most things interesting ( ranging from mathematics to writing to music ). Also, doesn't just have to be hobbies I should pick up, could be anything, books to read, skills to learn and whatever else there is.

PS I'm not sure if this is the correct forum section to post this one, but since I'm a newbie and self improvment is semi game related I thought I might aswell post it on here.

[Remington]

With your age, you have many things to attempt. Guitar is a great start. Always awesome to learn a new skill. Dressing better will be great regardless of your physical condition. Feel free to tell us a little about your style.

When it comes to interacting with friends or just becoming more social, pick up a part time job in a retail position. This will force you to constantly interact with people, along with teaching you sales skills. Sales skills are very important considering you will want to "sell yourself" when you talk to people in your school. You will want to leave the impression that you are a confident, eloquent, and social man. If you run out of things to say to people, especially women, ask questions relating to previous topics.

Depending on the severity of your scoliosis, is working out an option? Do you play any sports? What boosts your self-confidence? What are your goals?

[Sidney Crosby]

What do you expect to be talking about with 16 year old girls, they are really stupid.... barely smarter than your dog, depending on the breed, they aren't. Unless you want to talk about the Kardashians what do you expect.

Going to the gym is a must, you will get more respect from guys and more girls will want to fuck you.

You don't have to be the life of the party or Johnny Football to be considered fun or cool. Just smile, laugh at jokes and maybe bring a few extra beers to the party.

[F1l1pV]

(01-08-2016 10:47 PM)Remington Wrote:  

With your age, you have many things to attempt. Guitar is a great start. Always awesome to learn a new skill. Dressing better will be great regardless of your physical condition. Feel free to tell us a little about your style.

When it comes to interacting with friends or just becoming more social, pick up a part time job in a retail position. This will force you to constantly interact with people, along with teaching you sales skills. Sales skills are very important considering you will want to "sell yourself" when you talk to people in your school. You will want to leave the impression that you are a confident, eloquent, and social man. If you run out of things to say to people, especially women, ask questions relating to previous topics.

Depending on the severity of your scoliosis, is working out an option? Do you play any sports? What boosts your self-confidence? What are your goals?

Not sure if this is how to reply to a comment so if this looks weird then that's why lol.

Anyways, my scoliosis is pretty severe, I'm right on the surgery range at about 45 degrees. It doesn't limit me in any shape or form, I can still play all the sports I want to and workout however much I want.

I'd say I'm pretty lucky since my scoliosis is as low in my back as it could possibly get ( ranges from say L5 - L1 or so ) so it doesn't push on my ribs as much as it would otherwise, so it isn't really that visible believe it or not. Only one of my friends know I have scoliosis because I told him and my family didn't know until I had a school checkup, and they've seen me without a shirt several times. It's only really visible from the side when you're able to see the twisting of the spine more.

Last time I was at the doctors he told me that I am at the range where he would recommend surgery, which sucked balls for me. Worst day of my life by far hehe. I told him I'm going to try some physical therapy before I go through with surgery which he said seems OK and he told me that he'll do another checkup in 6 months or so. Even though I highly doubt that any physical therapy is going to help my scoliosis I feel like it's worth a try anyways, since I just don't want surgery at all. I hate being limited and having restrictions which is exactly what the surgery will give me. ( sorry for the huge lifestory )

Regarding my style, I don't really have a style ( or maybe I do but I don't even know about it ). I just wear jeans or chinos and try to stick with a shirt with long arms since I have pretty skinny arms. I don't know what I would look good in because I haven't really experimented with it.

I don't play any sports outside of sometimes joining some of my " friends " for a soccer game every once in awhile.

I'm not sure what boosts my confidence tbh, since I haven't tried too many things I really just don't know.

As far as my goals go, do you mean my game related goals or do you mean my goals in life? Game related goals would be to just be able to talk to girls and develop some form of interest since that's all you have to do to fuck drunk girls it seems. Goals in life is pointless to establish right now I feel since it'll probably change in a year and I'll want to do something completely different.

Not sure if anyone is going to bother reading all of this.

[Remington]

Surgery would put you out of commission for a while. I have never had surgery so I don't know what to tell you on that end.

I would work on bodyweight exercises and start working out with some free weights to start. That will boost your self-esteem and confidence after a couple months. When you are at school, join a social club or start chatting up people in between classes. Don't be afraid to ask people questions. This could lead you to trying new things or get in with a social circle. You have a lot of opportunities to get to know people and try new things.

Right now, you should set some attainable goals for yourself in high school. Such as:

Talk to 2 people a day who you don't know.
Approach x amount of girls; this can be to flirt or just getting to know them.
Lift 3x a week.
Try one new thing a week.

What do people at your school do during their free time besides sports?

[F1l1pV]

(01-09-2016 12:45 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Surgery would put you out of commission for a while. I have never had surgery so I don't know what to tell you on that end.

I would work on bodyweight exercises and start working out with some free weights to start. That will boost your self-esteem and confidence after a couple months. When you are at school, join a social club or start chatting up people in between classes. Don't be afraid to ask people questions. This could lead you to trying new things or get in with a social circle. You have a lot of opportunities to get to know people and try new things.

Right now, you should set some attainable goals for yourself in high school. Such as:

Talk to 2 people a day who you don't know.
Approach x amount of girls; this can be to flirt or just getting to know them.
Lift 3x a week.
Try one new thing a week.

What do people at your school do during their free time besides sports?

To be honest I have no clue what people do in their free time besides sports, partying and having LAN "parties" at home. I just don't have contact with them outside of that and school. I would guess that they hang out with their girlfriend if they have one or just chill at eachothers place. Smoking weed and just sitting around is quite common too I think. And that's sort of the problem too. I never get invited to those types of things which I suspect is because I'm just boring as heck.

[Remington]

(01-09-2016 12:58 PM)F1l1pV Wrote:  

(01-09-2016 12:45 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Surgery would put you out of commission for a while. I have never had surgery so I don't know what to tell you on that end.

I would work on bodyweight exercises and start working out with some free weights to start. That will boost your self-esteem and confidence after a couple months. When you are at school, join a social club or start chatting up people in between classes. Don't be afraid to ask people questions. This could lead you to trying new things or get in with a social circle. You have a lot of opportunities to get to know people and try new things.

Right now, you should set some attainable goals for yourself in high school. Such as:

Talk to 2 people a day who you don't know.
Approach x amount of girls; this can be to flirt or just getting to know them.
Lift 3x a week.
Try one new thing a week.

What do people at your school do during their free time besides sports?

To be honest I have no clue what people do in their free time besides sports, partying and having LAN "parties" at home. I just don't have contact with them outside of that and school. I would guess that they hang out with their girlfriend if they have one or just chill at eachothers place. Smoking weed and just sitting around is quite common too I think. And that's sort of the problem too. I never get invited to those types of things which I suspect is because I'm just boring as heck.

Then you should start getting to know people while you're in school. You could also throw your own party and invite random people. Be a confident and outgoing host.

[Vincent Chase]

(01-08-2016 10:48 PM)Sidney Crosby Wrote:  

What do you expect to be talking about with 16 year old girls, they are really stupid.... barely smarter than your dog, depending on the breed, they aren't.

[Valentine]

Read far and wide.

Push your body to it's limits (weight lifting, bodyweight training, combat art e.g. Krav Maga or boxing).

You'll do great, you've found the forum at such a young age, celebrate for being enlightened 1%!

[BrewDog]

Join the Marines, brother. You'll be awesome.

[MiscBrah]

You're not getting invited to parties/events because youre not interesting or fun. That can change pretty fast if you want it to.

Remington is giving you some great advice. Follow it and apply what he says.

One thing that I really wish I did in high school was start amateur astronomy. You can be up and running for under $200. Getting girls to come out with you alone to a tall hill at night to look at the stars combined with some alcohol sounds like a great way to fuck some girls.

At the very least, walk up to some girls in school and just say What's up. Don't worry about getting numbers just start talking to people.

Don't think too much it sounds like youre your own worst enemy right now.

[germanico]

(01-15-2016 01:30 AM)MiscBrah Wrote:  

You're not getting invited to parties/events because youre not interesting or fun.

You are not getting invited to parties because you dont socialize. Talk to people, yes, even nerds and outcasts. You might think that the "in" crowd, the one everyone hates but secretly wants to be in will shun you if you are friends with the awkward lot. You will see you are mistaken. And even if they did, guess who will have the largest and most loyal tribe? You.

You are 16. Realize than nothing, none, of the things you worry about and suffer about in high school will matter in 10 years. So have fun. Do what you want to do.

If its not noticeable and doesnt affects you mobility, why worry about scoliosis? Ask the doctor for an X ray, you will see its not a big deal. And even if it where, why should you care? You are not your spine.

Advice from my 36 yo self to my 16 year old self:

-Never waste any opportunity to do any social activities. You have no idea how many parties I missed because "I wasnt feeling like it". Just be there. Even if its just to say hello, mope around for 2 minutes and leave, being there is better than staying at home.

-All that people around you having a great time, laughing and smiling? they are as miserable if not more that you. Its called being a teenager. Your pain and disconfort is not special, everyone has their own brand of it. Realize that a) they all feel inadequate. b) you wont feel like that forever. 10 years from now you will laugh at your current self. If you can see that, you will be the most mentally powerful kid in your school.

- Exercise. I hated sports or any other physical activity when I was that age. if you hate team sports like I did, take up jogging. Even once or twice a week will do it. Its free, its a great exercise that keeps you in great condition, and serves as active meditation. For an hour or two while you are running it will be just you and your thoughts.

- Make some money for yourself. Doesnt matter how much, dont look for the magic formula. Earning as much as 1 dollar is a great lesson. Flip some shit on Ebay or make a blog.

- Girls. Dont worry if you dont have any. Focus on building the mindset and attitude that will allow you to have a satisfactory (whatever you consider satisfactory) sexual and romantic life later on.

- Get a car if you dont have one. If you do, dont worry about the type of car, as long as you keep it in good working order. This car will allow you to come and go and travel. If you happen to have a shitty car (I had a white VW bug with stained seats and dented bumpers) and someone gives you shit for it (someone will eventually) OWN it. Dont say shit back, its never worth it. Just smile and tell them you bought it on Craigslist for $5 or whatever sounds silly. We all wanted the brand new Mustang the spoiled rich kid in school had. The VW will get you just as far when you give her a ride home after that party but she doesnt wants to end the night just yet.

- Avoid online porn or use sparingly. Check the VR porn thread here to see why.

- Stand out. If you cant be outstanding, then be unique. Wear different clothes than the rest. Check magazines like Esquire or GQ and then search thrift shops for similar things. Make it a point to never buy anything except maybe underwear or socks from department stores. We the introvert/nerdy/awkward bunch have been trained since grade school to be invisible. Untrain yourself.

- Expand your musical horizons. The world has given us the best tool so far to discovering new music: Youtube. The 90s when I was a teen where a great time for music but unless it was on the radio or you had some cool friend you could tape records from, you wouldnt know it existed. Then came Napster, which was good, but then again, unless you knew what you where looking for you wouldnt find it. Listen to everything. Even if you dont like it, listen to it once.

- Spend time with manly men doing manly stuff. Go camping with your older cousins or help your dad rebuild an engine. You dont give any detail about your particular family situation but figure something out.

Quote:

I just found that I have nothing to talk about with not just girls but people in general.

Guess what. They dont either. I used to read a lot. I devoured any book I came across at 16. You have the Internet. Go crazy. You will be the most interesting man in the room.

- Talking to girls will be hard and will make you feel stupid and inadequate. That will be just the way you feel and not representative of the reality. Join as many extracurricular activities as you reasonably can in school where there will be girls (ie: not the chess club) where you WILL be forced to interact with them. Be cool and friendly, talk to them all and dont make anything out of it. See it as "social practice", that way you will feel less awkward when you actually talk to a girl you are actually attracted to.

- There will be hard painful lessons. You will have women cheating on you, trying to use you for their advantage, step over you, mock you, or steal from you. It will hurt more than anything you felt before. But if you dont experience something like that at some point, you are simply not living. Let the hurt run its course, it eventually will, and move on. No regrets, no bitterness. Learn whatever lesson there is to be learned and move on to the next lesson.

[germanico]

One last thing: the people you hang out with are the people you will become. I hung out with nerds who played Dungeons and Dragons. Which is cool, but not when your saturday nights are planned around slaying imaginary monsters.

Be ok with drugs or alcohol, but dont hang out with the potheads. Be cool with the fatties, but dont hang out with them. (Honestly, I always was the skinny kid. I started hanging out with the fat crowd (that was their own nickname for themselves, "The Fatsos") and gained around 6 kilos. Avoid the incel white knights, avoid the dickhead idiots, you get the point.

Avoid being around negative people long enough for them to infect you. If by any chance its your family who is the negative influence, get out of there as soon as its legally possible for you to.

[F1l1pV]

(01-14-2016 08:27 PM)BrewDog Wrote:  

Join the Marines, brother. You'll be awesome.

Not that I'd want to join the marines, but I'd be disqualified because of my scoliosis :/

[F1l1pV]

(01-15-2016 01:30 AM)MiscBrah Wrote:  

You're not getting invited to parties/events because youre not interesting or fun. That can change pretty fast if you want it to.

Remington is giving you some great advice. Follow it and apply what he says.

One thing that I really wish I did in high school was start amateur astronomy. You can be up and running for under $200. Getting girls to come out with you alone to a tall hill at night to look at the stars combined with some alcohol sounds like a great way to fuck some girls.

At the very least, walk up to some girls in school and just say What's up. Don't worry about getting numbers just start talking to people.

Don't think too much it sounds like youre your own worst enemy right now.

Astronomy seems good, I enjoy physics alot and I do genuinely find astronomy interesting. Never went in depth with astronomy though so I might get tired of it later on. I'll give it a shot haha.

I really need to learn how to reply to several posts in one because I feel like I'm spamming my own thread.

[F1l1pV]

(01-15-2016 01:41 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(01-15-2016 01:30 AM)MiscBrah Wrote:  

You're not getting invited to parties/events because youre not interesting or fun.

You are not getting invited to parties because you dont socialize. Talk to people, yes, even nerds and outcasts. You might think that the "in" crowd, the one everyone hates but secretly wants to be in will shun you if you are friends with the awkward lot. You will see you are mistaken. And even if they did, guess who will have the largest and most loyal tribe? You.

You are 16. Realize than nothing, none, of the things you worry about and suffer about in high school will matter in 10 years. So have fun. Do what you want to do.

If its not noticeable and doesnt affects you mobility, why worry about scoliosis? Ask the doctor for an X ray, you will see its not a big deal. And even if it where, why should you care? You are not your spine.

Advice from my 36 yo self to my 16 year old self:

-Never waste any opportunity to do any social activities. You have no idea how many parties I missed because "I wasnt feeling like it". Just be there. Even if its just to say hello, mope around for 2 minutes and leave, being there is better than staying at home.

-All that people around you having a great time, laughing and smiling? they are as miserable if not more that you. Its called being a teenager. Your pain and disconfort is not special, everyone has their own brand of it. Realize that a) they all feel inadequate. b) you wont feel like that forever. 10 years from now you will laugh at your current self. If you can see that, you will be the most mentally powerful kid in your school.

- Exercise. I hated sports or any other physical activity when I was that age. if you hate team sports like I did, take up jogging. Even once or twice a week will do it. Its free, its a great exercise that keeps you in great condition, and serves as active meditation. For an hour or two while you are running it will be just you and your thoughts.

- Make some money for yourself. Doesnt matter how much, dont look for the magic formula. Earning as much as 1 dollar is a great lesson. Flip some shit on Ebay or make a blog.

- Girls. Dont worry if you dont have any. Focus on building the mindset and attitude that will allow you to have a satisfactory (whatever you consider satisfactory) sexual and romantic life later on.

- Get a car if you dont have one. If you do, dont worry about the type of car, as long as you keep it in good working order. This car will allow you to come and go and travel. If you happen to have a shitty car (I had a white VW bug with stained seats and dented bumpers) and someone gives you shit for it (someone will eventually) OWN it. Dont say shit back, its never worth it. Just smile and tell them you bought it on Craigslist for $5 or whatever sounds silly. We all wanted the brand new Mustang the spoiled rich kid in school had. The VW will get you just as far when you give her a ride home after that party but she doesnt wants to end the night just yet.

- Avoid online porn or use sparingly. Check the VR porn thread here to see why.

- Stand out. If you cant be outstanding, then be unique. Wear different clothes than the rest. Check magazines like Esquire or GQ and then search thrift shops for similar things. Make it a point to never buy anything except maybe underwear or socks from department stores. We the introvert/nerdy/awkward bunch have been trained since grade school to be invisible. Untrain yourself.

- Expand your musical horizons. The world has given us the best tool so far to discovering new music: Youtube. The 90s when I was a teen where a great time for music but unless it was on the radio or you had some cool friend you could tape records from, you wouldnt know it existed. Then came Napster, which was good, but then again, unless you knew what you where looking for you wouldnt find it. Listen to everything. Even if you dont like it, listen to it once.

- Spend time with manly men doing manly stuff. Go camping with your older cousins or help your dad rebuild an engine. You dont give any detail about your particular family situation but figure something out.

Quote:

I just found that I have nothing to talk about with not just girls but people in general.

Guess what. They dont either. I used to read a lot. I devoured any book I came across at 16. You have the Internet. Go crazy. You will be the most interesting man in the room.

- Talking to girls will be hard and will make you feel stupid and inadequate. That will be just the way you feel and not representative of the reality. Join as many extracurricular activities as you reasonably can in school where there will be girls (ie: not the chess club) where you WILL be forced to interact with them. Be cool and friendly, talk to them all and dont make anything out of it. See it as "social practice", that way you will feel less awkward when you actually talk to a girl you are actually attracted to.

- There will be hard painful lessons. You will have women cheating on you, trying to use you for their advantage, step over you, mock you, or steal from you. It will hurt more than anything you felt before. But if you dont experience something like that at some point, you are simply not living. Let the hurt run its course, it eventually will, and move on. No regrets, no bitterness. Learn whatever lesson there is to be learned and move on to the next lesson.

Thanks, this seems like really solid advice.

The situation I have right now is, I'm kind of in the " cool " or " in " group ( or whatever you want to call them ) because 2 of my friends are in that group. I haven't really connected with the rest of the guys in my social circle, I would say I'm more acquainted with them.

The more I get to know them, the more they seem to think I'm a looser though. None of them aside from my 2 friends make any attempts at communicating with me. I figured it might be because I'm boring as heck. They do go out and do stuff during the weekends I just never get invited. Perhaps they feel the same way though, what do I know?

I'm looking at ways to make money for myself actually, I'm thinking of getting a job handing newspapers since it's a pretty easy job to land in my area. Pays pretty poorly though, roughly 120 dollars / month, varying every month of course. I'm thinking it would be an ideal way to get out of the house more often though.

I would really like to be able to flirt with girls better aka get girls to like me / be interested in me. I just really don't know what to talk about with them. I read How to Lay Girls, and I feel like I know how to say things, but not what to say if that makes any sense. This probably applies to guys too, I don't really know what to say to them or talk about to connect with them and make them want to hang out with me.

If I have to give myself props on something I'd say I've managed to get a good mindset for learning. Not to say I don't care about messing up but I've managed to view most situations as a learning experience rather than a huge fuckup.

Ironically I do read relatively often, but I don't think any of the things I read about would interest my friends. For some reason I feel they wouldn't be too interested if I started talking about cold welding with them at a party hehe. Perhaps I should change the topics I read about, as I usually read about physics related stuff, along with some history and whatever else that catches my interest. I do enjoy reading so if you have any recommendations on any good reads I'll gladly look into it.

Regarding drugs, I've been drinking at every party so far and smoked pot twice. Don't really have a problem with drugs tbh, although I won't go around popping molly and all that shit.

I'll definitely get a gym membership. My best friend goes to the gym regularly and he could probably show me around there.

Thanks for the proper post, appreciate it. (:

Edit: video was relatable as fuck :O

[Cobra]

It's interesting, there is another thread running concurrently on the forum just like this one with a similar OP: thread-52756.html.

You are actually asking for more advice on how to be social, whereas the other guy seems to want to get more into game and girls.

I'm 37 years old. My story is on the forum and my progress somewhat well documented but let's just say that my confidence was a late bloomer. I now have a son that is 3 years old. I like these kinds of threads because they keep me on the track to being a better father although my effort in this regard will be higher when my son is older.

I am a huge proponent of Inner Game aka self confidence. I preach it continually on my podcast with h3ltrsk3ltr (link in my signature below). It looks like you need to build that up. The best way you can do that is to be more social. See a guy hanging out, talk to him. See a woman looking at something in a shop, talk to her about it. See a cute girl, tell her why she looks nice. The last one is much harder and honestly, it's okay if you don't do that right now. Any social interaction with another human being, especially where you show interest in their day and their life will pay you dividends in the form of an increase in your confidence. It may be very slight but the more you do it the more you'll get, just like anything in life. Let me also touch on your perception that "others think you're a loser." That's bullshit. Only what you think of yourself matters. Smile. Get used to it. You need to be content and happy with yourself and others will notice. This is key. The more your confidence increases the less you will worry about others' opinions. For example, while I respect others' opinions, if I don't agree with them, I brush it off fairly quickly. I am also getting better at having healthy debates with them.

And by the way, you know a great way to be interesting? STOP talking about yourself. ASK others about themselves. Continue the questions and show your interest in them. The most interesting people I have spoken to are always asking me about myself. Sometimes I feel weird walking away because I learned nothing about them. Embrace silence and make it intimate to you. You don't need to talk about yourself. You can if they ask but keep it short and use Roosh's "bait" technique as much as you can when you do.

Don't be pressured into approaching girls all of a sudden and not work on your social abilities. This could backfire if you get obsessed, which happens a lot to guys early in the stage of inner game. I have met and known guys that have done 1000+ approaches with no lifestyle or social success in general. Reason: lack of self-confidence, or a gap in their inner game.

The way you make this "social calibration" more effective for yourself is by joining a team or a group (already mentioned by other members). It is a whole lot easier to talk to someone that shares the same interests as you in the same setting than talking to a person randomly. Don't think that you have to be gung ho and start talking to random people. It's okay if you start with shared interest groups. Again, don't put pressure on yourself.

Another way to increase the rate at which you become better socially is working out, particularly lifting. Other guys here can talk to that much better than I can even though I know a little of what I'm talking about. What I will tell you is that you will be much further ahead of most guys if you lift. Don't spend too much time on cardio, even though moderate is good.

As my son grows up, he will be joining other kids in sports (competitive or not) and I will be taking him to the gym with me. Over time, his confidence will develop with mine. The advice that I give him will be very similar to what I have given you.

Remember, no approach techniques or other actions will work if you don't do it with a clear sense of self and confidence. Good luck. I look forward to checking back on your progress. Welcome to RVF!

[LongDongSilver]

Start running and when fall rolls around join the cross country team. In my school at least the x-country team was an untapped treasure trove.

Be friendly and confident with everyone, you will be surprised a lot of these young girls will do most of the footwork of hanging out for you. You will just need the heart and discretion to pull the trigger when the chance arises.

[Octavian Costa]

bump

[SydneyD]

this might help:

thread-52764.html

[Phoenix]

OP, because of your age, the best form of self-improvement is just "expanding your horizons". Try out an ever-expanding amount of new activities and experiences. Don't rule things out because "I probably won't like that" etc. Try a bit of everything. Be bouncing around - not just going back and forth in a groove.

E.g. you could try:
- climbing
- dancing
- debating
- scuba diving
- motor biking
- other sports
- artistic pursuits
- get good enough with the guitar to get in a band (not a high bar at high school), and then get in a band
- joining clubs or societies, or better yet making and leading your own
- getting various part time jobs, again not because "job sounds good", but because you get varied experience and insight into the world
- any minor business pursuits you've thought of (could be as simple as putting a soda vending machine somewhere)

[F1l1pV]

(02-11-2016 12:25 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

OP, because of your age, the best form of self-improvement is just "expanding your horizons". Try out an ever-expanding amount of new activities and experiences. Don't rule things out because "I probably won't like that" etc. Try a bit of everything. Be bouncing around - not just going back and forth in a groove.

E.g. you could try:
- climbing
- dancing
- debating
- scuba diving
- motor biking
- other sports
- artistic pursuits
- get good enough with the guitar to get in a band (not a high bar at high school), and then get in a band
- joining clubs or societies, or better yet making and leading your own
- getting various part time jobs, again not because "job sounds good", but because you get varied experience and insight into the world
- any minor business pursuits you've thought of (could be as simple as putting a soda vending machine somewhere)

Dancing seems cool since I literally have no idea how to dance. Everytime I'm at a party I try and steer away from the dance floor ( on those occasions that there is a dance floor of course ) since I would probably make a fool of myself. No idea where to start though. I'm not really into all advanced street dancing and shit but learning a couple of moves to bust at a party would be cool. It seems like a great way to meet girls too since the girls are almost always dancing at the parties we go to and no dudes have the moves or confidence to go up and dance with them.

I really agree on getting a part time job. I feel like what I need the most right now is experience. My goal by the end of this year is to become a more well rounded dude. I really don't know what a good part time job would be that includes social interaction though. I live in a pretty small town of 30k people so there really isn't THAT much here.

I'm hoping that if I manage to become more well rounded that'll translate to better inner game and confidence. I just feel like I haven't done as many things as the people around me, and I don't have that one particular skill that I'm really good at.

[Phoenix]

Just sign up for some classes or your schools dance club if it has one, salsa is quite popular. You can also just ask guys who are good dancer what styles they are dancing and then do more research into those after.

[The Man w/ the Golden Gun]

F1|1pV, I'd direct you to Samseau's Dance Floor Game Guide.

[Wisetell]

Really I'd say your problems lie in your confidence of yourself and your trust in others. You seem to think your friends don't care and that you are more of a loner. However true that may be Hold yourself in a position to where you are the highest, don't be an egotistical ass to your *friends* but hold yourself to where you think you are higher. You don't have to think your better than everyone else if you cant think it like that just think of yourself on their level. Its what i did and since i have actually been able to perform some game.
I suggest reading some books, the deep forum is nice, here's one I recommend (thread-51977...pid1158821 another one is thread-44196.html), find a girlfriend you don't have to start off with sex try a LTR and find what you like it worked for me but I cant guarantee it will for you. Read some Psychology or take the class if you can (if your high school has it) if not just try some simple videos. I loved the high school class and it actually gave me some insight on my own life. If you cant make a lot of friends try Band, it helped me become more social and not give a rats ass what people think. Get active in your school activities in general
Starting off is hard and I know, But hold yourself high. Know that those friends don't make you who you are but you make your own plot in life.

Now for your talking while trying to game. I'm no expert but Cobra has made good points and I agree with Inner Game things. While your confidence is not the greatest you have to actually approach to start. (seem as if you have in first one where you mention) But when not if WHEN you approach ask some questions. Read the forum get advice do approaches keep a log of it.