[Feldeinsamkeit]

Here's the deal guys: I'm new to daygame, having run exclusively social circle game in the past. I've been approaching English women in Middlesbrough over the past 10 days and have encountered a problem whose scale I had hitherto underestimated - the enormously high percentage of desirable women who are already in some form of relationship. It seems that practically every woman I approach is already taken and it has really thrown a spanner in the works of my confidence to approach new sets.

Does anybody on here know of a reliable way in which you can get an idea of whether a woman is single and potentially interested in you prior to opening her? If I could find a reliable way of determining an IOI - say through the eye contact with accompanying body language - it would greatly improve my chances, I suspect. It would also be of use to other guys on this forum, too, of course.

For example, I saw one woman yesterday pass me who I noticed out of the corner of my eye checking me out and when I looked directly at her she started looking at the ground but also ran her hand through her hair as she did so. Would any of you guys have interpreted this as an IOI?

[Tex]

I've had my dick sucked from a girl in a relationship and I've had my dick sucked from a single girl.

They both feel the same to me.

[Cobra]

You're over thinking it. Approach first, figure out later. Period.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-18-2015 03:24 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

You're over thinking it. Approach first, figure out later. Period.

This is the approach I started with, but I quickly realised that practically every woman that is slim or even slim-ish is already in a relationship. Don't forget, the area where I live has a particularly high obesity rate and so there's a hell of a lot of thirsty dudes chasing the few slim, decent-looking girls, so that's not surprising. It's also not usual to see decently-built and reasonably well-dressed guys dating hambeasts, without seeing it the other way around. So I really need a way of making my daygame routine much more efficient if it's to work in the end - hence my original question.

[Stun]

1. Do you want the girl, or do you want to get better (at cold approaching)?

2a. If the latter, then why do you care? The process is what matters. You can learn as much from approaching and chatting with a girl in relationship as one who is not.

2b. If the former, then I'm sorry but you want to get laid, not better. Save your money and pay a prostitute.

I say this not to be a jerk, but I want you to think about your motivations for approaching in the first place.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-18-2015 03:36 PM)Stun Wrote:  

1. Do you want the girl, or do you want to get better (at cold approaching)?

2a. If the latter, then why do you care? The process is what matters. You can learn as much from approaching and chatting with a girl in relationship as one who is not.

2b. If the former, then I'm sorry but you want to get laid, not better. Save your money and pay a prostitute.

I say this not to be a jerk, but I want you to think about your motivations for approaching in the first place.

Yes, I want the girl, although I fully concede that I've also got better at approaching as a result, and in any case, I don't see the two as mutually exclusive options, so why is it a reproach to say that I only want to get laid? Isn't this the whole point of running daygame? Am I missing a trick here? What use is running daygame if you don't get laid as a result of it?

The problem for me is that the longer this whole process drags on with only the, "Sorry, but I already have a BF/hubby" response, the more disheartenend and unwilling to approach I get.

[GlobalMan]

Why does it matter if she's single or not?

Almost every top tier girl I've banged or ended up dating had some other cock when she met me. Good looking girls, girls worthy of your time, they aren't likely to be completely free of cocks or some emotional connection.

If you're more interesting/attractive, then it doesn't matter what she has before you she meets you.

[Tex]

Like Stun said, if you approach a girl you get better at cold approaching no matter what.

You might feel like the replies are missing the point, but they're not. There is no reliable way to tell if a girl is single, and it shouldn't matter.

You should be out there on the grind approaching, and trying to do good approaches at that. A bad approach is asking early on if a girl is single. It comes off as needy and it's off-putting.

So, if you get in the mentality of not caring, you'll be doing better approaches, and when you do better approaches, you'll magically find that there are more single girls in your town.

If you're disheartened by long approaches going nowhere, where she pulls the boyfriend response to reject you with, then assume she's single and you fucked up and you need to approach more.

Also, do guided approaches. As in, guided by solid advice. Read Day Bang. Try different angles. Mix it up. Experiment with being direct. That'll keep things fun.

[TheFinalEpic]

If you knew the number of girls that have given me their phone number even though they were "in a relationship", you would understand why I don't believe in dating anymore.

[eatthishomie]

If she tells you she has a BF she's not interested, whether she actually has one or not. Next!

[topdog]

A low-N count girl I bang sporadically, started formally dating a guy her age (21). Anyhow, I know when she visits my city we will certainly bang.

Once you cross the chasm between being the guy women cheat on to the man they cheat with, you stop caring if they have a BF.

I feel you, the BF rejection is very common.

[XPQ22]

Among unmarried modern Western women under 30, and even in some cases these days pushing towards 40, "relationships" are often what I would consider a fluid concept. It's very rare that attractive women in this demographic are completely alone in the world...maybe they have a true LTR boyfriend, maybe they're temporarily "single" and attempting to choose among their orbiters, maybe they have some fuck buddies, or some weird combination of all three.

One thing one realizes from doing online dating is the sheer number of "strictly monogamous" chicks on there who are basically going on a lot of dates, banging the guys who interest them for a while (maybe more than one at a time), and then moving on to the next guy who interests them because, well, "it didn't feel right long term" or "we're not right for each other". Yeah, sorry, that's not "monogamy" no matter how you hamster it. There are "monogamous" women who have been there looking for their "monogamous" partner for months or years, not once deactivating their profile. Did they never have sex in all that time? Get real...

And even among young women who don't do online dating, the situation is likely similar. Might want to read the section here about "flex monogamy":

http://www.rooshv.com/the-future-of-game

IMO unless she has a kid in tow, or is wearing a wedding band or a huge rock on her finger, don't bother trying to qualify this stuff ahead of time. For the most part, women who are definitely not open to meeting someone new are quite good at dropping the "So my boyfriend/husband was telling me just the other day..." line very early in the interaction and then it's up to you if you still want to give it the college try, or eject (I'd suggest the latter.)

Essentially it seems like you're asking is there an airtight way to avoid having your time wasted by women who finally have no interest in ever having a sexual relationship with you, and in my (admittedly limited) experience I'd say the answer is almost certainly no.

http://www.rooshv.com/women-are-experts-...-mens-time

[XPQ22]

(12-18-2015 03:45 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  

If you knew the number of girls that have given me their phone number even though they were "in a relationship", you would understand why I don't believe in dating anymore.

I'm still new at this and it hasn't happened to me much, but I believe it.

Like the fucking club ho a few weeks back who gave me her number, and then told me she was married via text days later! And she didn't even tell me straight up, she first tried to flake on me when I attempted a day 2 by saying she was busy with work!

[robreke]

As long as there's no wedding ring, I approach.

Even is a woman does have one, I'll sometimes strike up a conversation just to "practice" with no real intention of it going anywhere than just a friendly conversation about the quality of the peanut butter she's perusing at the grocery store.

That said, do your best to generate rapport and attraction. If I feel an approach and subsequent conversation has gone well and upon going for the date/number she says she's in a relationship or some such, I will say something like : "I can keep a secret"
said with a warm look and slight smirk.

Most of the times the girls will laugh knowingly. One time I did this to a beautiful college girl and she gushed red and laughed, her eyes shining. We came closer to each other both laughing and I got the number.

The reality is, however, that most women in serious relationships probably won't follow through on a date or number. They were just caught up in the moment of your solid approach, attracted in that point in time, then once they leave you an exchange a few texts with their boyfriend or have dinner and sex with him that night, aren't going to give you a chance.

Bottom line - approach first and deal with her relationship status second.

[262]

Note that as winter comes and goes, so do folks tend to get in and out of relationships.

As WIA basically noted in another thread, once temperatures drop, LTR threads - even on this forum - pop up like clockwork.

I should also note that London daygame guys, like Krauser and Torero, are usually in the UK this time of year, rather than traveling around Europe or the world for the sake of approaching.

Finally, for some reason I can't think of they usually push their daygame products a little more around this time of the year.

"What's that you say? Lonely for the holidays? Come to my website and let me help you ... Don't forget your credit card ..."

Edit: Note that I'm not knocking their hustle. Just pointing out the seasonality of it.

[XPQ22]

^ Yep. this is likely also a major factor in the collapse of online girl response rates back when we were heading into October.

[Cobra]

(12-18-2015 03:28 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(12-18-2015 03:24 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

You're over thinking it. Approach first, figure out later. Period.

This is the approach I started with, but I quickly realised that practically every woman that is slim or even slim-ish is already in a relationship. Don't forget, the area where I live has a particularly high obesity rate and so there's a hell of a lot of thirsty dudes chasing the few slim, decent-looking girls, so that's not surprising. It's also not usual to see decently-built and reasonably well-dressed guys dating hambeasts, without seeing it the other way around. So I really need a way of making my daygame routine much more efficient if it's to work in the end - hence my original question.

I work in sales for high level consulting solutions. There's a guy at work that consistently works very hard to figure out the "trick" or "best way" to get more client meetings and hence new business. The guy will create elaborate spreadsheets and ask lots of questions. However, while there are factors in the market that cause a potential client to say no to a meeting, there is a statistical truth that says x calls get you y meetings get you z dollars. Instead of focusing on activity, he focuses on adjusting assumptions to enhance his activity. I believe it comes from a place of fear; fear that has overtaken his ability to perform action by causing his mind to think it's not ok to do b before thinking of a. My money is on that guy getting gfired in a few months. Reason : inability to conquer fear.

Your post and profile remind me of that guy. Paralysis by analysis. You have no true statistic that says that EVERY hot girl is taken. You on top of that assume they are not available. Those are, not one, but two unproven assumptions. Here is a proven assumption for you: some women will give you a chance if you approach. If you do not approach, they will not. You are just maximizing your chances by doing more approaches and proving this assumption once you succeed. Your other assumptions sound made up in your head.

Remember that there are not a lot of guys that can cold approach. It makes you stand out.

You will not be able to develop yourself to a point to screen out available girls by figuring out a trick first. The only way to get there is practice. Don't kid yourself and don't be THAT guy.

[Travesty]

What is your rejection rate?

Be happy banging 1 in 50 girls you approach at your seemingly level of game.

No one I know has ever reported doing better than 1 in 20 over a course of a long time and I believe that from my own experiences.

If it is taking you 80-100 approaches to bang one - ok now it is time for some introspection. If you can't find enough girls you are living in the wrong place.

It is numbers not magic. I would say a good 85% of Game is simply keeping a happy and hungry attitude and seeing the grind as fun.

For example I have had 47 approaches day and night game since my last bang from an approach.

Although I am still working on one girl I went on a date 1 with that seems like it could turn into a bang (I went to Colombia). Also if I spent more time in Colombia I think I may have been able to turn another approach into a bang.

Either way, I wouldn't even start sweating it until I got to around the 100-120 mark just because experience has me comfortable with hitting a real cold streak and still not caring.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-18-2015 06:33 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

What is your rejection rate?

Be happy banging 1 in 50 girls you approach at your seemingly level of game.

No one I know has ever reported doing better than 1 in 20 over a course of a long time and I believe that from my own experiences.

If it is taking you 80-100 approaches to bang one - ok now it is time for some introspection. If you can't find enough girls you are living in the wrong place.

It is numbers not magic. I would say a good 85% of Game is simply keeping a happy and hungry attitude and seeing the grind as fun.

I've approached around 25 in the past 11 days. Quite a few of these didn't seem interested and just carried on with their shopping, some said they had BFs/husbands but were flattered that I asked, one said that she would date me were it not for her kids at the moment. I opened a Chinese student on Wednesday and got her number and went on a date today with her, although she turned out to be quite brattish, so that didn't go anywhere. But hey ho, at least it's a start. My worry, though, is more with the native Anglo women, who seem a much tougher nut to crack on their own turf.

[Captain Gh]

Day Game is wayyyy hard my friend. I'm sure you already know so, but I'm sure you don't fully realize how hard it is! Keep in mind that the Best Daygamers out there like Janka and Krauser have mentioned that their Bang % is around 13% on a hot streak bear in mind.

And yes a lot of chicks in the Daytime are taken, but that should be irrelevant for you to know since you should be doing Daygame to get better with women, and NOT to get a woman on your next approach. What you're feeling is totally normal. It's your ego that's looking for a way to avoid all of these "perceived rejections" when they tell you no for whatever reason.

If you really want to do this, you have to dig deep to get past that ego mechanism. All the great Daygamers went through this phase, and you have to do so as well.

[shameus_o'reaaly]

Buddy of mine told me he would hit on girls while shopping in Tesco when they bought 'single girl shit' like Special K, cranberries, muffins etc.
Don't know why cranberries but if a girl is buying pasta and stir-in sauce she's probably not cooking for anyone else.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-18-2015 06:51 PM)shameus_oreaaly Wrote:  

Buddy of mine told me he would hit on girls while shopping in Tesco when they bought 'single girl shit' like Special K, cranberries, muffins etc.
Don't know why cranberries but if a girl is buying pasta and stir-in sauce she's probably not cooking for anyone else.

Thanks for the heads up, Shameus. I haven't graduated to hitting up the supermarkets aisles yet (store game is my current forte) but I've been intending to give it a go sooner or later.

[PapayaTapper]

Relationships/dudes are to attractive chicks are like branches to a monkey. They are VERY rarely without one in hand.




The better your game, the better your chances of being the next branch

[topdog]

All these daygame threads are daunting, but yet inspiring for us that want to meet a girl who is not a total club slut or an online attention whore. I know there is an unicorn hiding there in the streets. Or at least a nice gyraffe, gazelle, greyhound or squirrel...

[Kaizen]

Ask her and make it your opener.

'Excuse me...This is random but are you married or in a serious relationship?'

You should get an honest answer

Proceed from there