[Feldeinsamkeit]

Hi guys, I'd be grateful for some feedback on the following situation that I experienced earlier today when about on my travels:

I was walking through Poundland today when, headed in the opposite direction, comes a petite blonde woman, probably late 20s, very cute and nerdy looking who, judging from the non-toxic and relaxed manner about her, seemed to be east European. Now, bearing in mind this is Middlebrough we're talking about, you don't find dime pieces like this strewn around willy-nilly, so I was instantly intrigued. What made me even more curious about her was that she made eye-contact briefly and didn't show any of the usual aversive behaviour typical of a woman of her SMV in the UK. I passed her a few types in the store as I had some time to kill, although chickened out of actually approaching her, which I immediately regretted. Later on, I was sat on a bench in one of the shopping malls and I saw her go into another store, so I immeditately went in after her and stopped her whilst she was viewing some item or other on the shelf. I couldn't for the life of me think what I was going to open her with, so I said the first thing which came to mind, "Hi. You aren't from Poland by any chance, are you?" seriously expecting that she would probably answer that she was, or at least from another central or eastern European country. Bizarrely, she replies in a local accent, "No, I'm a Middlebrough girl, born and bred!". I then started making small talk about christmas shopping and asked her about hers, to which she relied, "Yea, I'm just getting some items in for the kids" whilst then turning to look at the shelves again.

I took from her looking away at the shelves, along with her statement about her having kids, combined with the fact that she didn't ask any questions about me, that she was very likely married or in a relationship at least and trying to put me off and so I bailed without pushing the encounter any further. What vexes me, though, is that she didn't seem at all uncomfortable with my approaching her and was smiling when we were talking and had a pleasant manner about her for a British broad who was of high SMV. She surely must have known what the deal was with my approaching her and my previous flirty eye-contact with her, so I couldn't help but wonder whether I had fucked up yet another potential opportunity by assuming the worst and bailing too quickly. What do you guys think? Would this behaviour have put you off?

I'm fairly new to day-gaming women and the relatively few approaches that I've done have yielded quite mixed results in terms of women's reactions, with some of them being really quite cunty. I've been adopting a sniper-type approach where I only focus on those women where I feel their personality is possibly agreeable, et.c.; an approach which, in my area of Teeside, doesn't yield all too many good prospects given the X-factoresque character of most of the women here. However, since working out and working on my inner game, as well as posture, eye-contact with women, et.c., I'm definitely getting some regular visual IOIs from quite a few very bangable women on the street in my area, but I feel that I'm cockblocking myself from not having the balls to push these interactions to their logical conclusion.

[Repo]

It sounds like you already know the answer to your question, you just want someone to tell you. Don't rule yourself out, let her rule you out. That clearly didn't happen, so yes you could have pushed further. Could it have been a dead end? Maybe, but now you are left wondering what could have been.

[Blackwell]

You pretty much answer your own question in your last statement my man.

You got spooked. You bitched out. It happens.

You fear rejection to the point that you will bail instantaneously once that doubt creeps in. Like you said, if you are going to make the approach, follow it through to its logical conclusion. You had the balls to make the initial approach and its a shame you couldn't keep hold of them long enough to finish the sequence. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm English. I know the women. I know how it is.

If you are going to carry out the approach either follow it through in the hope of a positive result or follow it through so you have a thorough reference of which to learn from now. This approach here you described? You ejected to earlier to learn much at all. You are just up in your head stressing at yourself because you KNOW you bailed too early and you shouldn't have.

Next time you gotta come through for yourself to the end. If you fall, you fall. Don't quit so soon.

Best of luck.

[XPQ22]

(12-06-2015 02:30 PM)Blackwell Wrote:  

Next time you gotta come through for yourself to the end. If you fall, you fall. Don't quit so soon.

Best of luck.

This is the greatest difficulty I have with day game as well. When is the appropriate time to eject, and when should one push forward?

The few numbers I have closed on were in situations where there was pretty much mutual interest in keeping the conversation going right from the start. I've had similar experiences where I've used an opener, gotten one or two fairly terse sentences in reply, and then the woman turns back to her book or the store shelves or whatever she was doing.

For my part, I've essentially been interpreting this as a sign of dismissal and moving on. What have you go to work with?

[Feldeinsamkeit]

Thanks for the honest feedback, guys - that's much appreciated. Yes, I agree that I probably do know the answer to the question that I posed, namely, that I bailed too early and thus did not push the interaction to the point where I could be sure it would yield nothing.

But what would you guys have done with regard to her turning back around to the shelves? Would you have taken this as a sign to bail at that point or simply ploughed on regardless?

Her turning away could have been a sign that she wasn't interested in me. However, I also thought that she might just have been a little bit shy and wasn't sure how to respond at that point. She didn't seem overly shy, though, but given that British women are certainly not used to getting approached by random guys in the store, I can't rule out this possibility. So I'm left playing a guessing game, as per usual.

[Mr.Brown]

Yeah keep the interactions until the girl walks away or says she has to go. Read some examples of the book DayBang in the topic of stores.

[1026]

This should be in the newbie forum.

[studmuffin52]

I remember reading in Roosh's book, Bang, about rejection. He said being rejected meant you had exhausted a set to its extreme and there was no more 'potential' left untapped. A man who doesn't get rejected, hasn't pushed his limits. I always re-read these lines when I feel down about a reject or I am psyching myself up for night of game.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-06-2015 08:13 PM)Mr.Brown Wrote:  

Yeah keep the interactions until the girl walks away or says she has to go. Read some examples of the book DayBang in the topic of stores.

Well, I did another store opener on a woman, late 20s, this morning and something similar happened. I saddled up to her next to she shelf and commented about how difficult it is to decide on what to buy people for Christmas. She looked up at me, smiling and then said as she was walking off, "Well, when you're buying for your kids it's a bit easier to decide on what to buy". I then replied to her something to the effect that I only wish adults were children in such cases.

Upon analysis, on the one hand she didn't seem unduly uncomfortable with me opening her, yet, on the other hand, the fact that she started walking away after I had made my first comment didn't exactly fill me with encouragement. I was left wondering, was she a single mum or did she have a partner/husband? If she had looked visibly anxious or annoyed, it would have been much more an open-and-shut case, but the very ambiguity of her relatively pleasant demeanour has, again, left me wondering.

So, how should I have played this situation? Should I have asked her a question immediately after she replied to my first comment to try to keep her in the interaction and stop her leaving the scene? Or should I have taken her walking away as a clear sign that she wasn't going to be receptive to any further advances from me?

[Comte De St. Germain]

Thing is game is variable to the user. Practice Practice Practice that's the only way to know completely how an interaction should go don't worry about one or two approaches. Getting bummed out is the number one way you stop.

So for your answer. You used something unsuited to your personality I would try new ways to open. Keep trying until you find something that works.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(12-07-2015 04:34 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Thing is game is variable to the user. Practice Practice Practice that's the only way to know completely how an interaction should go don't worry about one or two approaches. Getting bummed out is the number one way you stop.

So for your answer. You used something unsuited to your personality I would try new ways to open. Keep trying until you find something that works.

Thanks for your reply. I'm not sure I understand what you meant by, "getting bummed out is the number one way you stop". Did you mean that her walking away was me getting "bummed out"?

[Mr.Brown]

Sometimes they aren't open to talk to a stranger, that's it. There are a lots of variables on this. They may answer first to be polite.

Just keep approaching and don't worry, when you find a girl open to talk, just relax, listen to her words and keep the conversation going from what she says.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(12-07-2015 04:39 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(12-07-2015 04:34 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Thing is game is variable to the user. Practice Practice Practice that's the only way to know completely how an interaction should go don't worry about one or two approaches. Getting bummed out is the number one way you stop.

So for your answer. You used something unsuited to your personality I would try new ways to open. Keep trying until you find something that works.

Thanks for your reply. I'm not sure I understand what you meant by, "getting bummed out is the number one way you stop". Did you mean that her walking away was me getting "bummed out"?

As in if you get bummed out you are less likely to approach. Forum member Giovonny is the number one example of staying positive I can give. Be like him and keep a positive mindset as you approach. You may subconsciously be bummed out due to failure.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

Earlier today I was sat on a bench in the mall and spotted a fairly cute-looking woman, nothing spectacular but a decent 6, walking past me. I wasn't actually in gaming mode at all given the past week of rather dismal responses to daygame I've encountered, but she aroused my curiosity by the way she seemed to be looking out of the corner of her eye at me as she walked past, and so, intrigued, I decided to follow her into the store. Anyway, after entering the same store as her, I move up beside her in the aisle but can't quite summon up the nerve to open her immediately. Somewhat comically, she's actually stood tilted a little towards me and I just look at her for a few seconds and the goods that she's got in her hand, thinking that's probably going to freak her out a little. She does seem to notice my looking - which is hard to overlook given the fact that I'm now stood right in front of her! - but still seems quite comfortable positioned towards me on the spot. I eventually open her by asking her whether she's doing next year's christmas shopping a year in advance because of the post-christmas store sales and she answers yes, with a noticeable laugh. I then banter with her a little about the good deals on the shelves and go into a mini-ramble about needing to buy a birthday present for my aunt next month, which she listens to and comments on in places. The vibe I'm getting as I do this seems to confirm my initial impression whilst sat on the bench that she is open to being approached, especially the way that she's positioned facing towards me and the way that her face seemed to light up once I finally opened her. On top of this positive vibe, during the interaction, she suggests some of the products on the shelves that my aunt might like for her birthday gift, talking a bit about them. So after about 3 minutes of prattling on about the products and her telling me that she's buying something for her child, she eventually says, "Well, I'll have to get going", which caught me a little bit off guard. I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point and wondered whether she perhaps wasn't into me after all and so we ended up quickly wishing each other good luck with finding the right presents.

Of course, I regretted not moving the conversation on when I had the chance, but I panicked a little into thinking that she wasn't into me because she signalled to move away. Has this happened to any guys on here? What would you have done in this situation? Would you have taken this as an indication of her not being interested? I suspect that I should have moved away from the topic of shopping to asking her a more personal question, such as, "So, do you live locally?" and then steering the conversation from there. I can't help but wonder whether I'd simply exhausted the topic of shopping and, because I didn't move the conversation on, she took that as a cue to move on herself. I've been kicking myself for the rest of the day as a result.

[PapayaTapper]

(12-28-2015 12:18 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

Earlier today I was sat on a bench in the mall and spotted a fairly cute-looking woman, nothing spectacular but a decent 6, walking past me. I wasn't actually in gaming mode at all given the past week of rather dismal responses to daygame I've encountered, but she aroused my curiosity by the way she seemed to be looking out of the corner of her eye at me as she walked past, and so, intrigued, I decided to follow her into the store. Anyway, after entering the same store as her, I move up beside her in the aisle but can't quite summon up the nerve to open her immediately. Somewhat comically, she's actually stood tilted a little towards me and I just look at her for a few seconds and the goods that she's got in her hand, thinking that's probably going to freak her out a little. She does seem to notice my looking - which is hard to overlook given the fact that I'm now stood right in front of her! - but still seems quite comfortable positioned towards me on the spot. I eventually open her by asking her whether she's doing next year's christmas shopping a year in advance because of the post-christmas store sales and she answers yes, with a noticeable laugh. I then banter with her a little about the good deals on the shelves and go into a mini-ramble about needing to buy a birthday present for my aunt next month, which she listens to and comments on in places. The vibe I'm getting as I do this seems to confirm my initial impression whilst sat on the bench that she is open to being approached, especially the way that she's positioned facing towards me and the way that her face seemed to light up once I finally opened her. On top of this positive vibe, during the interaction, she suggests some of the products on the shelves that my aunt might like for her birthday gift, talking a bit about them. So after about 3 minutes of prattling on about the products and her telling me that she's buying something for her child, she eventually says, "Well, I'll have to get going", which caught me a little bit off guard. I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point and wondered whether she perhaps wasn't into me after all and so we ended up quickly wishing each other good luck with finding the right presents.

Of course, I regretted not moving the conversation on when I had the chance, but I panicked a little into thinking that she wasn't into me because she signalled to move away. Has this happened to any guys on here? What would you have done in this situation? Would you have taken this as an indication of her not being interested? I suspect that I should have moved away from the topic of shopping to asking her a more personal question, such as, "So, do you live locally?" and then steering the conversation from there. I can't help but wonder whether I'd simply exhausted the topic of shopping and, because I didn't move the conversation on, she took that as a cue to move on herself. I've been kicking myself for the rest of the day as a result.

You're over thinking it. How long do you expect a chic you just met to hang out with you chatting in a store?

In her head the dialogue likely went like this:

1 "This guy is kind of cute. I wish he'd talk to me"
2 "Great he's talking to me"
3 "I'll tell him I have a kid and see how he reacts"
4 "He's still talking to me so I hope he asks for my number"
5 "Why isn't he asking me for my number?"
6 "Ok this is taking way too long"
7 "Well he's either not interested or too much of a pussy to ask for my number so I'm going to now"

All you need to do is say "Hey Ive enjoyed talking to you. Let me have your number so we can chat another time" (sic)

You did the hard part which is to approach (good job). Just ask for the number

[ksbms]

(12-28-2015 12:18 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

Earlier today I was sat on a bench in the mall and spotted a fairly cute-looking woman, nothing spectacular but a decent 6, walking past me. I wasn't actually in gaming mode at all given the past week of rather dismal responses to daygame I've encountered, but she aroused my curiosity by the way she seemed to be looking out of the corner of her eye at me as she walked past, and so, intrigued, I decided to follow her into the store. Anyway, after entering the same store as her, I move up beside her in the aisle but can't quite summon up the nerve to open her immediately. Somewhat comically, she's actually stood tilted a little towards me and I just look at her for a few seconds and the goods that she's got in her hand, thinking that's probably going to freak her out a little. She does seem to notice my looking - which is hard to overlook given the fact that I'm now stood right in front of her! - but still seems quite comfortable positioned towards me on the spot. I eventually open her by asking her whether she's doing next year's christmas shopping a year in advance because of the post-christmas store sales and she answers yes, with a noticeable laugh. I then banter with her a little about the good deals on the shelves and go into a mini-ramble about needing to buy a birthday present for my aunt next month, which she listens to and comments on in places. The vibe I'm getting as I do this seems to confirm my initial impression whilst sat on the bench that she is open to being approached, especially the way that she's positioned facing towards me and the way that her face seemed to light up once I finally opened her. On top of this positive vibe, during the interaction, she suggests some of the products on the shelves that my aunt might like for her birthday gift, talking a bit about them. So after about 3 minutes of prattling on about the products and her telling me that she's buying something for her child, she eventually says, "Well, I'll have to get going", which caught me a little bit off guard. I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point and wondered whether she perhaps wasn't into me after all and so we ended up quickly wishing each other good luck with finding the right presents.

Of course, I regretted not moving the conversation on when I had the chance, but I panicked a little into thinking that she wasn't into me because she signalled to move away. Has this happened to any guys on here? What would you have done in this situation? Would you have taken this as an indication of her not being interested? I suspect that I should have moved away from the topic of shopping to asking her a more personal question, such as, "So, do you live locally?" and then steering the conversation from there. I can't help but wonder whether I'd simply exhausted the topic of shopping and, because I didn't move the conversation on, she took that as a cue to move on herself. I've been kicking myself for the rest of the day as a result.

Dude, you're doing a good job, however a real approach begins once you make it clear to a lady why you are talking to her. Having banal conversations about stuff ladies buy in shops could have had most of us here, all day long, any day of the week.

You're looking for cues, for an approval to make a move (don't get me wrong, it's difficult to disregard it and reading girls' cues important but often they either won't be there or will be mixed up or we can't properly interpret them). Girls rarely give them out in a very overt fashion. You either make a move (thus, being proactive) or you wait out (thus, being reactive) for her to give you green light which (almost) never happens and catch yourself with a dick in your hand when she walks away, like in this post.

You should always, by default run S.O.B. game, for false positive approach will always lead to more success than its opposite, false negative, as per your last experience. Colloquially, in game parlance, "always assume the sale."

Also, it's worth to make a "bold" move amidst the conversation if you feel it's difficult to steer the conversation from neutral into personal space. Nothing to lose, everything to gain - if nothing comes to your mind, just cut midway and say "you know what, actually I don't care that much about the shopping stuff - you seem interesting, how about we have a cup of coffee/drink Thursday evening?" Sort of a gambit, not the prettiest, not the smoothest but still better to put things on the table than scurry away with a dick in hand.

I think that PapayaTapper summarised girl's internal monologue very well (assuming she was interested) but the beauty (and the ugliness) of it all is we never know until the other party affirms their intentions, which usually, in day game context, happens, in its very essence, by a guy asking girl out and her affirming or denying. Actually, it's that simple.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

Well, guys, I've been continuing to approach women in the malls, with the usual results: A bit of small talk, often eliciting a few laughs from the women concerned, but ultimately the deal is that she's basically indifferent to my advances. As a consequence, I've been seriously questioning the value of daygame in the UK. Anyway, after approaching 4 sets this morning and getting bleached by them, I continue on my way and pass W.H.Smith and do a double-take when I spot a SE Asian-looking babe in a very tasteful leopard-skin outfit standing at the book section. Curious, but still in a rather cautious frame of mind, I make my way over towards her and open her with a remark about her coat, not knowing what sort of reaction awaited me. In fact, before she turned around, I didn't even know what she looked like but I wasn't disappointed with what I saw: she was slim and really quite pretty and seemed really quite pleased that I was asking about her coat.

I quickly segued into where she was from originally and she told me that she is from South Korea but had been living in the UK for 2 years and used to work for Qatari airlines as an air hostess which, given her style and looks, I can well believe. She did quite a bit of rowing in the conversation, too, asking me a few questions about myself and showing quite a bit of interest when I told her that I'd spend much of my time living in Germany before returning to the UK. After having to wade through the piss and shit of routinely approaching stuck-up, cold and indifferent UK broads, this was a breath of fresh air that I was badly in need of.

Long story short, I asked her out for a coffee sometime and number closed her and she even asked for my details and I told her that I'd give her a call soon. My question, though, is this:

How long should I wait before doing so? I was thinking of giving her a bell tomorrow lunchtime, since if I wait much longer I fear that she'll probably be wondering who the hell I am when I do call.

Does anybody on here have any experience of dating South Koreans?

[ksbms]

(01-04-2016 03:35 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

How long should I wait before doing so? I was thinking of giving her a bell tomorrow lunchtime, since if I wait much longer I fear that she'll probably be wondering who the hell I am when I do call.

Does anybody on here have any experience of dating South Koreans?

Feldeinsamkeit, first, what's her age?

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(01-04-2016 03:50 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:35 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

How long should I wait before doing so? I was thinking of giving her a bell tomorrow lunchtime, since if I wait much longer I fear that she'll probably be wondering who the hell I am when I do call.

Does anybody on here have any experience of dating South Koreans?

Feldeinsamkeit, first, what's her age?

I'd say she was around the 30 mark.

[ksbms]

(01-04-2016 03:51 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:50 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:35 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

How long should I wait before doing so? I was thinking of giving her a bell tomorrow lunchtime, since if I wait much longer I fear that she'll probably be wondering who the hell I am when I do call.

Does anybody on here have any experience of dating South Koreans?

Feldeinsamkeit, first, what's her age?

I'd say she was around the 30 mark.

I see no reason to wait, really (in the era of online dating, tinder, and stuff, you should move fast) - girls her age know you're not asking her to join you to play chess. I'd send a text with a callback humour regarding her leo outfit, then set up drinks in a lounge in the next one for Wednesday/Thursday.

South Koreans are regarded to be one of the most racist nation - I don't know what her upbringing was like, how (il)liberal her and her parents attitude have been and what's her Weltanschauung regarding dating. I imagine that at around 30 years old she should be an independent woman by European standards but by South Korean - no idea.

Having said that, my limited experience, I met in Edinburgh a girl who was half South Korean, half European, in late twenties, raised in Europe. Got her home and in bed (no dice, but that was presumably due to my fault) but she seemed very uncomfortable and frigid with 'sex with a random guy' as if it weren't part of what SK girls do? I don't really know. Just a circumstantial evidence, so you never really know.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(01-04-2016 04:04 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:51 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:50 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 03:35 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

How long should I wait before doing so? I was thinking of giving her a bell tomorrow lunchtime, since if I wait much longer I fear that she'll probably be wondering who the hell I am when I do call.

Does anybody on here have any experience of dating South Koreans?

Feldeinsamkeit, first, what's her age?

I'd say she was around the 30 mark.

I see no reason to wait, really (in the era of online dating, tinder, and stuff, you should move fast) - girls her age know you're not asking her to join you to play chess. I'd send a text with a callback humour regarding her leo outfit, then set up drinks in a lounge in the next one for Wednesday/Thursday.

South Koreans are regarded to be one of the most racist nation - I don't know what her upbringing was like, how (il)liberal her and her parents attitude have been and what's her Weltanschauung regarding dating. I imagine that at around 30 years old she should be an independent woman by European standards but by South Korean - no idea.

Having said that, my limited experience, I met in Edinburgh a girl who was half South Korean, half European, in late twenties, raised in Europe. Got her home and in bed (no dice, but that was presumably due to my fault) but she seemed very uncomfortable and frigid with 'sex with a random guy' as if it weren't part of what SK girls do? I don't really know. Just a circumstantial evidence, so you never really know.

Yes, I've heard that South Korean women can be quite racist, although the conversation that we had today didn't cross any of that terrain, so I can't say whether this broad is or isn't. In any case, I'm stereotypically English, i.e. caucasian, so that shouldn't be too much of an issue for me, at this stage, at least.

As for the timing, I was thinking along the same lines, i.e., that she may get snapped up even by waiting a day extra by some random guy she bumps into or from the internet, so I'll strike no later than tomorrow as planned. In fact, come to think of it, I think I'll just send a follow-up e-mail now and take it from there, along the lines you suggested.

[BadgerHut]

"All you need to do is say "Hey Ive enjoyed talking to you. Let me have your number so we can chat another time" (sic)"

Damn straight. As they say in sales, ask for the money. Coming up with the "perfect time" or "perfect way" to ask for the number is something people spend way too much time worrying about. By the time it's time to ask for the number she's either willing to give it to you or isn't, and what you say to get it or nailing the right time isn't relevant. It's like openers - the point is to begin the conversation, people usually forget what the specific opener was anyway. All the girl remembers is "cute guy talked to me/asked for my phone number."