Quote: (01-05-2016 01:59 PM)YoungAngel1 Wrote:
Hey guys, thought I would give you an update on the situation. Well, it's over. It turns out that this girl had a HOST of other issues. She was molested when she was a kid, raped in college, and only saw her dad like 5 times before he was killed(dead-beat dad).
In the last 2 months of the relationship she bragged about her ex boyfriend constantly who played football, and started to totally withdraw from sex. I took notice, and brought it up. This is when the excuses started. First it was a headache, then a stomach ache, then a sore throat, too tired, not into it, etc. Through a lot of fight, she did start giving it up, but boy was this bitch disinterested. Straight up laying down like a star fish. Through some convo before we even entered the relationship, she claimed she was a sexual freak, this of course turned out to be false, at least with me it was. I'm pretty sure she saw me strictly as a beta/provider, I make good money/good career, and a typical nice guy. Ironic, huh? lol. I finally told her that I couldn't do it, and she was pretty distraught by the whole thing. Crying her eyes out, wanting to keep giving it a try. BUT NO
In a way, I am happy. I'm happy in a sense that I was never truly ready for a higher quality girl(attraction wise), so now I can work on some more self improvement(losing a lil weight, dressing better, cutting out alcohol, etc). I want more, and don't wanna be looked it as a fallback to her ex. I heard her constantly still talking about him to friends, and even her family. It was brutal to be even around. one day, when she thought I was sleeping, her ex called and she said "I've been waiting for you to call" lol. I'm not saying I was perfect either, she caught me tinder, and I went on other dates, just so I could keep that same spark I had that got me her. Also, turned into a total dick at the end, because she was trying to control the relationship or at least I thought she was. Honestly, after some of the stuff I said, i'm surprised she didn't leave herself.
I'm sad in a sense, to where it's a breakup, and its pretty fucking brutal. alot of time wasted, and painful memories. I've totally deleted everything I have of her including phone number, email addresses, etc.
I've learned a lot, but now it's back to the drawing board. If you guys have any advice, please feel free to share.
I am really glad to hear this. Congrats on having your eyes opened for you, mostly by her. At least she didnt try to hide how much of a bad person she is. She probably realized how much better you were than her and helped you see her for who she really is. Now you will have the awareness to avoid these types in the future.
Many of us men who are optimistic and open to others to our detriment. Its almost like you have to get burned a few times before you wise up. Too many good men are wasting their lives by inviting people like this into theirs.
Don't befriend the brother. Thats terrible advice. Get away from these people. Anybody who befriends an adult male drug addict because he gets bossed around by his sister and his mommy, is destined to be a loser.
Use this as an experience to understand why you were attracted to this women. This is a turning point for you. Be honest with yourself. Be intellectually honest with yourself to never make this mistake again. Can you imagine if you got her pregnant? They would be your family. Her horrible life story would become yours. The odds are high that this can happen. You narrowly avoided this.
So lets think about all of her red flags;
-Crazy family
-Abusive toward her family, no compassion
-Past abuse
-Talked about threatening ex
-Self proclaimed sexual freak
-Needs your help moving
-Im guessing she had some physical signs of this as well
-Guessing she was financially a wreck too
When you saw all of these things, how did you rationalize that she was better than this?
What type of women are you looking for? Freaky women? There are plenty out there who keep their shit together. Did you randomly meet her?
I think the most important lesson out of all of this is that you know yourself better. Hopefully you learn how to pick better, to not willingly subject yourself to a life full of misery from an accidental pregnancy or whatever else might happen, much like her brother you thought was a beta.