You met Suzie on Tinder. She's pretty hot, and by most accounts a solid 8. Your friends are impressed that you managed to get another nice looking gal.
You start banging regularly. You're happy with this arrangement. Sometimes you take her out to dinner, but it becomes easier to just tell her to "come over and cook." Whereas once you made attempts to go on dates, now she just comes over without a pretext.
As this continues, she starts to do subtle shit like leave a toothbrush at your house, her earrings on your dresser, and an extra towel in your bathroom. She gets pissed when she comes over and these things are moved, hidden from other gals in your harem. Your beautiful house is now sort of a mess. "Why the fuck is their so much hair in my drain? And what's with all the hand cream?"
Sex is still thrown at you with little effort, as she's trying to keep you interested. Being an experienced player, you are constantly sending hot and cold signals, which is now just naturally part of your aloof personality. "Nah, not tonight. I'm busy this week. Maybe tomorrow."
The other women in your harem get dialed back a bit because you're getting sex on the regular, and it's becoming a lot of effort to maintain. Part of you wonders if it would be less work to have a real girlfriend. She starts getting involved in your circle of friends more regularly. All you hear is "Suzie is a nice girl. You can't be a playboy forever, Hank. Maybe you should consider taking this one seriously." You don't like this.
As it goes on, she starts asking you about your long term goals for kids and marriage, most of which you respond to ambiguously. At this point, you're a bit bored, you want your space, and you miss chasing poon with no strings attached. You find that her constant need for attention gets in the way of your work, and other things you have going on.
This natural aloofness sends her hamster wheel into overdrive, causing her to create silly drama for attention, followed by throwing more sex at you:
"Hank, you put the tuna where it doesn't belong."
"It belongs where I say it belongs. It's my house."
"This isn't about the tuna, this is about you constantly disrespecting me!"
"No, it's about the tuna, and I'm about to kill the guy with the two chainguns. I'm not having this conversation."
"You care more about video games than me! And our relationship! That is so disrespectful! Joe Beta is constantly telling me what an asshole you are, and he's right. I'm leaving."
"Ok. Please just don't walk in front of the TV."
[ten minutes later]
"I'm sorry I acted like that, Hank. It's just, I don't know. I want to feel closer to you. I bet a blowjob would make up for it!"
Drama now becoming more constant, you slowly dial back the relationship, because you're "really busy" with "work stuff." She tells you her friend Joe Beta saw you on OkCupid, to which you respond that you just accidentally logged in or something. You also ask her why he's browsing men's profiles, with a laugh. She can't answer that.
Of course, Joe Beta has been waiting to bang your girl for years. Constantly acting as an emotional tampon, texting with her for hours, and telling her how you're a jerk and not right for her without so much of a whiff of poon. She decides to break up with you and give him a try, secretly hoping this will win you back. "I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck, you two crazy kids!" you tell her, while in you're mind you're thinking "YESS!!!!!" and doing the dance of joy.
Six to eight months later she gives you a call and says she wants to come over. She's still dating Joe Beta, but "doesn't know if that spark is there." Against your better judgment, you bang. She starts crying when she finds a pair of earrings on your dresser that aren't hers. "You would be such a good boyfriend if you didn't have commitment issues" she sobs.
"If...", you respond.
You start banging regularly. You're happy with this arrangement. Sometimes you take her out to dinner, but it becomes easier to just tell her to "come over and cook." Whereas once you made attempts to go on dates, now she just comes over without a pretext.
As this continues, she starts to do subtle shit like leave a toothbrush at your house, her earrings on your dresser, and an extra towel in your bathroom. She gets pissed when she comes over and these things are moved, hidden from other gals in your harem. Your beautiful house is now sort of a mess. "Why the fuck is their so much hair in my drain? And what's with all the hand cream?"
Sex is still thrown at you with little effort, as she's trying to keep you interested. Being an experienced player, you are constantly sending hot and cold signals, which is now just naturally part of your aloof personality. "Nah, not tonight. I'm busy this week. Maybe tomorrow."
The other women in your harem get dialed back a bit because you're getting sex on the regular, and it's becoming a lot of effort to maintain. Part of you wonders if it would be less work to have a real girlfriend. She starts getting involved in your circle of friends more regularly. All you hear is "Suzie is a nice girl. You can't be a playboy forever, Hank. Maybe you should consider taking this one seriously." You don't like this.
As it goes on, she starts asking you about your long term goals for kids and marriage, most of which you respond to ambiguously. At this point, you're a bit bored, you want your space, and you miss chasing poon with no strings attached. You find that her constant need for attention gets in the way of your work, and other things you have going on.
This natural aloofness sends her hamster wheel into overdrive, causing her to create silly drama for attention, followed by throwing more sex at you:
"Hank, you put the tuna where it doesn't belong."
"It belongs where I say it belongs. It's my house."
"This isn't about the tuna, this is about you constantly disrespecting me!"
"No, it's about the tuna, and I'm about to kill the guy with the two chainguns. I'm not having this conversation."
"You care more about video games than me! And our relationship! That is so disrespectful! Joe Beta is constantly telling me what an asshole you are, and he's right. I'm leaving."
"Ok. Please just don't walk in front of the TV."
[ten minutes later]
"I'm sorry I acted like that, Hank. It's just, I don't know. I want to feel closer to you. I bet a blowjob would make up for it!"
Drama now becoming more constant, you slowly dial back the relationship, because you're "really busy" with "work stuff." She tells you her friend Joe Beta saw you on OkCupid, to which you respond that you just accidentally logged in or something. You also ask her why he's browsing men's profiles, with a laugh. She can't answer that.
Of course, Joe Beta has been waiting to bang your girl for years. Constantly acting as an emotional tampon, texting with her for hours, and telling her how you're a jerk and not right for her without so much of a whiff of poon. She decides to break up with you and give him a try, secretly hoping this will win you back. "I'm sorry to hear that. Best of luck, you two crazy kids!" you tell her, while in you're mind you're thinking "YESS!!!!!" and doing the dance of joy.
Six to eight months later she gives you a call and says she wants to come over. She's still dating Joe Beta, but "doesn't know if that spark is there." Against your better judgment, you bang. She starts crying when she finds a pair of earrings on your dresser that aren't hers. "You would be such a good boyfriend if you didn't have commitment issues" she sobs.
"If...", you respond.