[kaotic]

Guys knock it off, this is petty to be arguing about what hacker factor has to say.

Stop it.

Plenty of men starting out on this board were victims, burned, and or/jaded.


We helped these men.


Let's get back on track.

Virtus IS right in saying you set yourself up for it, and it exploded in your face.

You thought one thing emotionally and did another thing physically.

You gave her a window, and she took it. It's as simple as that.

You've learned a valuable lesson, now employ it.


You were seeking an emotional reattachment to an old LTR. Why ? Because you said you wanted the cuddling and hand holding - you need a woman's touch.

You shouldn't have to depend on that, you need to master your emotions, and be able to relay them correctly.

I still suggest you back off game and collect yourself first, inner game is the most important game.

USE this forum man !

[BetaNoMore]

(08-22-2015 06:48 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Guys knock it off, this is petty to be arguing about what hacker factor has to say.

Stop it.

Plenty of men starting out on this board were victims, burned, and or/jaded.


We helped these men.


Let's get back on track.

Virtus IS right in saying you set yourself up for it, and it exploded in your face.

You thought one thing emotionally and did another thing physically.

You gave her a window, and she took it. It's as simple as that.

You've learned a valuable lesson, now employ it.


You were seeking an emotional reattachment to an old LTR. Why ? Because you said you wanted the cuddling and hand holding - you need a woman's touch.

You shouldn't have to depend on that, you need to master your emotions, and be able to relay them correctly.

I still suggest you back off game and collect yourself first, inner game is the most important game.

USE this forum man !

Kaotic,

In the future, how do you suggest that I better set the frame so that I don't get burned in a similar situation. Earlier, papaya mentioned that he doesn't look for relationships early on and if it happens, it happens. From reading Rollo's book, he also talks about not being the one to mention a relationship first and let her earn it and bring it up.

So what happened with this girl, I honestly didn't think it'd be more than a hook up/quick rebound attempt. Given that we don't know if someone is relationship material or not early on or if you like them enough, how do you go about banging them but set it up so that you don't give them an opening for you to get burned. Come to think of it, it's almost like I'm wanting my cake and eating it too: The default is I don't know from the beginning if most girls I'm getting with are LTR material, I don't want to seem desperate by pushing an LTR frame too early (and because I honestly wasn't thinking about LTR so early on) but yet I don't want them to burn me like I was burned this time around...

edit: The TLDR version is what could I have done to prevent me from being burned in this situation.

[kaotic]

(08-22-2015 07:35 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

In the future, how do you suggest that I better set the frame so that I don't get burned in a similar situation. Earlier, papaya mentioned that he doesn't look for relationships early on and if it happens, it happens. From reading Rollo's book, he also talks about not being the one to mention a relationship first and let her earn it and bring it up.

If you want a relationship, don't bring it up, let her bring up the "what are we talk", then you'll know she's really invested in you already. Then you lay the ground rules.

You had the power dynamic in your favor when she was asking what you guys were. You failed there.

You want a chick that is invested in you, if she brings it up pretty early then you know she's committed.

You CAN'T be mad at a girl for fucking other guys before the talk.

You can lay the ground rule that you don't fuck girls who are fucking other guys, that does NOT mean you're having the "what are we talk"

If she doesn't bring up the talk, then she knows it's just a fuck buddy situation (which never lasts).

Quote:

So what happened with this girl, I honestly didn't think it'd be more than a hook up/quick rebound attempt. Given that we don't know if someone is relationship material or not early on or if you like them enough, how do you go about banging them but set it up so that you don't give them an opening for you to get burned. Come to think of it, it's almost like I'm wanting my cake and eating it too: The default is I don't know from the beginning if most girls I'm getting with are LTR material, I don't want to seem desperate by pushing an LTR frame too early (and because I honestly wasn't thinking about LTR so early on) but yet I don't want them to burn me like I was burned this time around...

edit: The TLDR version is what could I have done to prevent me from being burned in this situation.

You are wanting your cake and eating it.

If I know a girl isn't LTR material from the get go I don't bring it up, I fuck her, always wrap up, keep things light and fun. They'll do one of 2 things - ghost on you and hop on the next dick OR she call you out on your guys situation.

I had countless girls ghost and a few called me or I knew they were catching feelings and let them go.

You have to play the field with an open mind, trying to see if every single girl you meet is LTR material is obsessive and bad for you mental health.

Just go on dates with girls and see where it goes from there man.

You might want an LTR with a girl but SHE doesn't want one with you. That scenario can happen.

You need to assume any girl you meet might be sleeping around. Girls are very low key about that shit.

You really need to get the LTR thing out of your head at this moment, otherwise you'll just be a dude swinging from tree to tree of female dependency.

I have a good friend who always needs to have a GF I can't stand it because then his frame becomes weak and his balls are lacking.

[Virtus]

I am so positive that you know all about cake. MMM. Rainbow cake..

You see, unless you are a very young guy and just don't know better, the reason none of this makes sense is that you, as a bull dyke rainbowcolored feminist 4th wave feminazi, are incapable of thinking like a guy. just like we are biologically incapable of thinking like you. The TLDR is that in any relationship, or fuck, in any grouping of two or more individuals, there is always someone who is taller, someone who is weaker, someone who is older, etc etc.

So as a rule women control access to sex and men control access to relationships.

There is no TLDR to not being burned.

if youre a young guy go learn about frames

http://www.returnofkings.com/29943/the-e...me-control

https://www.google.com/search?q=pua+frames

[BetaNoMore]

(08-22-2015 08:55 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(08-22-2015 07:35 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

In the future, how do you suggest that I better set the frame so that I don't get burned in a similar situation. Earlier, papaya mentioned that he doesn't look for relationships early on and if it happens, it happens. From reading Rollo's book, he also talks about not being the one to mention a relationship first and let her earn it and bring it up.

If you want a relationship, don't bring it up, let her bring up the "what are we talk", then you'll know she's really invested in you already. Then you lay the ground rules.

You had the power dynamic in your favor when she was asking what you guys were. You failed there.

You want a chick that is invested in you, if she brings it up pretty early then you know she's committed.

You CAN'T be mad at a girl for fucking other guys before the talk.

You can lay the ground rule that you don't fuck girls who are fucking other guys, that does NOT mean you're having the "what are we talk"

If she doesn't bring up the talk, then she knows it's just a fuck buddy situation (which never lasts).

Quote:

So what happened with this girl, I honestly didn't think it'd be more than a hook up/quick rebound attempt. Given that we don't know if someone is relationship material or not early on or if you like them enough, how do you go about banging them but set it up so that you don't give them an opening for you to get burned. Come to think of it, it's almost like I'm wanting my cake and eating it too: The default is I don't know from the beginning if most girls I'm getting with are LTR material, I don't want to seem desperate by pushing an LTR frame too early (and because I honestly wasn't thinking about LTR so early on) but yet I don't want them to burn me like I was burned this time around...

edit: The TLDR version is what could I have done to prevent me from being burned in this situation.

You are wanting your cake and eating it.

If I know a girl isn't LTR material from the get go I don't bring it up, I fuck her, always wrap up, keep things light and fun. They'll do one of 2 things - ghost on you and hop on the next dick OR she call you out on your guys situation.

I had countless girls ghost and a few called me or I knew they were catching feelings and let them go.

You have to play the field with an open mind, trying to see if every single girl you meet is LTR material is obsessive and bad for you mental health.

Just go on dates with girls and see where it goes from there man.

You might want an LTR with a girl but SHE doesn't want one with you. That scenario can happen.

You need to assume any girl you meet might be sleeping around. Girls are very low key about that shit.

You really need to get the LTR thing out of your head at this moment, otherwise you'll just be a dude swinging from tree to tree of female dependency.

I have a good friend who always needs to have a GF I can't stand it because then his frame becomes weak and his balls are lacking.

Well then I really care can't be pissed that she fucked that dude because we never had the talk. The only legit beef I had was her lying about it. But that said, I don't want a girl who can fuck two dicks at the same time anyways.

I'm liking the groundwork of not fucking other guys if we're fucking. They'll probably lie about it anyways but at least it gives me a better opportunity to screen out people.

And honestly, I wasn't looking for a relationship while going on that tinder thing. Was just looking to get my dick wet, help get over the broken previous relationship and gain more experience.

Thanks again for the reply.

[Summer Blizzard]

She's deceitful and therefore a poor emotional investment, you were correct to write her off.

[HankMoody]

That happened to me four years ago with the ex-oneitis. My biggest regret is not nexting her sooner.

Given the amount of feminine single women out there, never deal with any inkling of bullshit for any reason.

[CleanSlate]

I'm not convinced it would make any difference to lay down the rule that you don't fuck girls who fuck other guys. I would think that she'd try to do a better job of covering her tracks and lying about it.

[Virtus]

But then at least then the whole grievance of this thread would be valid and not a bunch of snot spread all over the keyboard